Can you help me and my girlfriend figure out what to do now that she's pregnant? Neither one of us is old enough to take care of a child on our own. I've been raised in a Christian home, and I've always believed that abortion is out of the question, but right now it's hard to see any other way out of this mess.
We can imagine how hard and emotional this situation must be. Though it may not feel like it right now, it's crucial to remember that God loves you deeply. He wants what's best for you, your girlfriend, and your baby.
There's a lot of practical encouragement and assistance available to pregnant teens. We'd strongly encourage you and your girlfriend to check out the OptionLine website for information about Pregnancy Resource Centers (PRC) in your area. You can also find a list a list of PRCs by looking under "Abortion Alternatives" in the yellow pages of your phone directory. The women who staff these centers are caring, non-judgmental, and in an excellent position to provide counsel.
It's also important to tell your parents what's happened. If that seems too difficult right now, maybe you could work up to it by opening your heart to another trustworthy Christian adult, such as your pastor or a close relative. Your mom and dad may respond with shock, disappointment, and even anger. But by God's grace, this situation can become an opportunity for positive growth.
Unlike your girlfriend, who must deal with the day-to-day reality of being pregnant, you may find it easy to distance yourself from the entire situation. We urge you to resist that temptation. Growing up means taking active responsibility for your choices and actions. To run away by seeking an abortion or looking for some other easy way out is not in anyone's best interests. Human life is precious, and it's an awesome thing to bring a child into the world. We hope you'll find the courage to talk about this openly and honestly with your girlfriend, her parents, and your mom and dad.
When contemplating huge life decisions like this it can be helpful to talk through the various options with an objective third party. Here at Focus on the Family, we have a staff of licensed Christian counselors who are available to do just that, and they would be more than happy to discuss your questions with you over the phone. They are available to speak with you at this number.
I'm Pregnant. Now What? (booklet)
I Might Consider Adoption If . . . (booklet)
It's Your Story (booklet)
The First Nine Months (booklet)
Sarah's Choice (book)
OptionLine.org - A Web site for young women that offers online support, fetal development information, true stories of girls who've faced unexpected pregnancies and a confidential crisis pregnancy help line.
TeenBreaks.com - This Web site offers a special section dedicated to assisting teens who have discovered they are pregnant or who are concerned that they may be.
National Fatherhood Initiative - helps equip fathers and strengthen families.