When dealing with toddlers, the best way to eliminate any kind of negative behavior, including biting, is to administer swift consequences. One consequence that can be very effective with kids at this age is an immediate time out.
The technical term psychologists use to refer to this method of discipline is “time out from positive reinforcement.” In other words, you remove your child from the situation and confine him to a very boring location for a short period of time. You put him in a place devoid of external stimuli of any kind.
A Pak N Play portable playpen is excellent for this purpose. Simply put the playpen in a location where your child is “away from the action,” but where you can still keep an eye on him. Then require him to stay there until he’s “served his sentence.” Typically we suggest one minute of time out for each year of a child’s age, so that a 2-year-old would receive a two-minute time out.
As mentioned above, it’s important that the time out be characterized by a lack of external stimuli. The child should not have access to toys during that time, and you shouldn’t interact with him at all. Don’t lecture or scold. Just ignore him. In the mind of a toddler, even negative attention is better than no attention at all. It’s likely that he will scream or throw a tantrum, but don’t give in to the temptation to pick him up until he’s served his time.
If you’re at a friend’s house or out in public when the biting occurs, you may need to be a bit more creative. But the same principle applies: the important thing is that you immediately remove your child from the situation and take him to a neutral, boring location.
Once the time out has been served, require your child to apologize to the person he bit. You may wish to help him out here by saying something like, “Tell Jamie you’re sorry for biting him.” If he refuses or becomes disrespectful, then it’s back to the time out location for another two or three minutes.
As a side note, we’ve heard some parents claim that time outs don’t work for their kids. In such cases, it might be that the time out isn’t being administered correctly. If you’re consistent with your follow-through and don’t give in to whining, screaming, or temper tantrums, you should find that the biting behavior decreases fairly rapidly.
If this doesn’t happen, there is a remote possibility that your child may be suffering from a more serious developmental problem. In that case, we recommend that you consult with your pediatrician.
For more information – or if you would like to discuss your situation with a member of our staff – feel free to contact our Counseling department.
Resources
If a title is currently unavailable through Focus on the Family, we encourage you to use another retailer.
The Well-Behaved Child: Discipline That Really Works
Focus on the Family Complete Guide to Baby & Child Care
Busy Mom’s Guide to Parenting Young Children
The Christian Mama’s Guide to Parenting a Toddler
You Can’t Make Me (But I Can Be Persuaded)
The New Strong-Willed Child Workbook
Boundaries With Kids: When to Say Yes, How to Say No, to Take Control of Your Life
Other books on Discipline
Referrals
John Rosemond: Parenting with Love and Leadership
Articles
Toddler Misbehavior
