Relationships and Marriage

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Spouse Maintains Unhealthy Attachment to Parents

How can I help my husband see that he is placing the needs and feelings of his parents ahead of mine? After several years of marriage, his attachment to his mom and dad is still so strong that it's causing serious damage to our relationship. I've confronted him about this, but he doesn't see it as a problem.

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Financially Irresponsible Spouse

How can I deal with a spouse who is completely immature in the way he handles his money? He has never learned how to save, give, tithe, or plan a budget. As a result, we're deeply in debt and faced with selling our home in order to pay off our creditors. I've lost all respect for him, and I'm thinking seriously about divorce. Is there any way out of this mess?

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Verbally Abusive Husband and Dad Wants to Change

What can I do to alter my bad habit of speaking harshly and critically to my wife and children? I desperately want to be a better husband and father, and I need to change my behavior. Can you help me start moving in that direction?

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Restoring Romance to Marriage

How can my husband and I rekindle the romantic flame that brought us together in the first place? We're stuck in a rut. The spark has gone out of our relationship. We don't even seem to have much fun together anymore. How do I raise this subject without seeming to nag?

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Pregnant and Facing Divorce

Do you have any advice for a woman who is facing the prospect of becoming a mother and getting divorced at the same time? I am that woman. I've just found out that I'm pregnant. Meanwhile, my husband has announced that he's leaving me and wants a divorce. What should I do? I've considered moving back home, but my family lives on the other side of the country and I think it's important for my child to have a relationship with his or her father.

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Confronting Elderly Father for Past Sexual Abuse

How do I deal with my extended family's history of child sexual abuse? My father was a pastor when I was a kid. A few years ago I learned that he had sexually molested one of my sisters for several years during her childhood. Since then, pedophilia has surfaced as a generational problem in our family. Am I obligated to honor my dad now that he's in a rest home and nearing the end of his life? Is our family under some kind of a curse?

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Husband Frustrated over Wife's Lack of Interest in Sex

Why do I have to beg and plead with my wife any time I want to enjoy sex with her? I have a very high sex drive, and she has a very low sex drive. Time and time again she tells me, "I'm not in the mood tonight." I respond that there are all kinds of things I do for her when I'm "not in the mood" - go to work, wash the dishes, help with the housework. How is her "not in the mood" different from my "not in the mood?"

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Temptation, Prayer, and Spiritual Vigilance

Won't God protect me from temptation if I pray? Here's my reason for asking. Though I'm unaware of any immediate threat to the health and well-being of my marriage, I'm still afraid that, somehow, someday, I may trip up and fall into an adulterous affair. I recently heard a man confess that this very thing had happened to him in spite of his commitment to marital fidelity and in spite of the fact that he had prayed many times to avoid sexual sin. This scares me. Why would God refuse to answer such a prayer? It's not as if the guy was asking for a new car or a suitcase full of money. He wanted to be kept pure! Can I trust the Lord to answer my prayers and protect me from temptation or not?

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Girlfriend Is Pregnant: Marriage As a Possible Solution

Should I marry my pregnant girlfriend? Our relationship has always been fine, but I've never really thought we'd be together for the rest of our lives. This changes everything. She will be keeping and raising the baby, and I'd like to do my fair share, as well. My girlfriend has some major issues in life, and I'm certain that we'd face huge obstacles if we were to marry right now. In spite of this, I'm thinking about proposing. Many of my Christian friends have encouraged me to do this. What advice do you have?

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Cousin Marriage

Is it appropriate for cousins or other relatives to marry? My first cousin and I lived on opposite sides of the country during childhood and never met until we were in our late teens. Since that time we've developed strong feelings for one another and have even begun to talk about marriage. We've done this secretly, because we're aware that many people would take a very dim view of our plans. Can you give us any advice? Is it permissible for cousins to marry? How distant from the family line does a relative need to be in order to qualify as a potential spouse? Does the Bible have anything to say about this?

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Wife Feels She's Grown Apart from Her Husband

Should I stay with my husband even though I don't love him anymore? We've been married for nineteen years and have two children, ages thirteen and nine. I still care about him as a friend, and the thought of hurting him kills me. But we're very different people with very different needs and interests. I feel like time is passing me by and I'm wasting my life in this marriage. I've expressed this to him, and he says he's willing to try because he doesn't want to lose me. But I really don't love him as a wife should. What do we do?

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Engaged: What to Do With Photos of Ex-Girlfriends

Should I hold on to pictures of old girlfriends now that I'm engaged to be married? I've had a few relationships before this one that never resulted in marriage. I don't like the thought of destroying my photos of those girls, but I'm pretty certain that my bride-to-be would react strongly if I don't get rid of them. What do you think I should do?

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Preparing for Marriage in a College Environment

How do I, as a student, prepare myself to be a godly wife and mother? I'm a single woman in my mid-twenties, pursuing a graduate degree in literature at a secular university. While I enjoy my studies and view them as important in preparing me for a future career in teaching, there's another sense in which I regard all of this as "Plan B": my real desire, the most earnest prayer of my heart, is that the Lord will give me a godly Christian husband someday. Meanwhile, I'm spending most of my time in an environment that's filled with feminist ideas and far from helpful to my long-range family-oriented goals. How can I resist these feminist messages? And how do I prepare to be a wife and mother while at the same time preparing for a possible teaching career?

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Moving Forward after the Pain of Divorce

How do I deal with the brokenness of divorce and make a new life for my kids and myself? I'll admit that I've made some bad choices. One of the worst was walking away from my family when my marriage got too tough to deal with. I realize now that my absence has not only brought me personal pain, but has had a negative impact on the lives of my kids. What's done is done, and there is nothing that will undo the harm I've caused. I feel extremely guilty. Where do I go from here?

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Wife Concerned about Husband's Private Meetings with Female Boss

How should my husband relate to his female boss? Occasionally, she needs to discuss a business matter with him that requires privacy and so she will schedule a lunch appointment with him alone. I'm uncomfortable with this, but he sees no alternative since this kind of practice is common and expected in his line of work. In fact, to raise this as a concern would make things difficult for him professionally. What are your thoughts and what should he do?

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Getting Married in College

Should my girlfriend and I get married before I graduate from the university? We're both mature Christians and we've both made a commitment to sexual purity before marriage. We've been dating about five months, and after much prayer, we've decided to get married in two years. Our parents approve of our plans, but mine disagree about the timing. I'm a nineteen-year-old freshman, and they think we should wait until I finish my senior year. My parents have always been strict and controlling, and I feel that this is basically an issue of their personal preference. What do you think?

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