Sexuality

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Parents Responding to Child Who Wants to Be the Opposite Sex

What should we say to our eight-year-old son when he tells us that he wants to be a girl? He's always been a gentle and sensitive child – keeps to himself, plays quietly indoors, and doesn't seem interested in joining other boys in their activities. But recently he's started saying that he isn't really a boy at all, and that he feels more like a girl on the inside. I'm almost certain that this has something to do with the fact that another child at his school switched his gender identification just a few months ago. We're very concerned. What would you do if you were in our place?

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Support for Parent Whose Adult Child Identifies As Transgender

Can you help us figure out how to respond to our grown daughter who has told us that she no longer identifies as a woman? At this point we don't know if she's taken steps to alter her physiology, but she has adopted a very "manly" outward appearance in terms of clothing and hairstyle. She has also changed her name and insists that we use only masculine pronouns when referring to her in conversation. I'm devastated by all of this. At some moments I'm so angry I could scream. Other times I just sit and cry. We love our daughter, but we don't want this kind of influence in our home (we still have younger kids in the house). What can we do?

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Parents Responding to Teen Who Wants to Be the Opposite Sex

What should we say to our teenage daughter when she tells us that she wants to be a guy? She's always been sort of tomboyish, but it was never really an issue until she reached puberty. Since then she's been saying that she doesn't feel like a girl on the inside. She claims to be male in soul, mind, and spirit, and she wants to take steps – physical and medical – to bring her body into conformity with that vision of herself. Needless to say, her father and I are pretty alarmed about this. I'm almost certain that she's getting these ideas from the surrounding culture, but she becomes very angry when I make such suggestions. What can we do about this?

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Responding to a Transgender Family Member

How should we respond to a member of the extended family who has recently undergone a gender reassignment procedure and now identifies as transgender?  I used to know this person as my sister-in-law. Now she looks like a man, dresses like one, and goes by a new masculine name. She even insists that all the relatives use masculine pronouns when referring to her in conversation. It's really awkward!  There's a big family gathering coming up this summer and my wife wants to go. I'd like to go too, but we have three children and I don't know how it will affect them to be around this person. What do you think we should do?

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Teenager Identifies as Transgender

Why can't my parents and the rest of my family get over the fact that I'm transgender? Why don't they accept me as I am? As a senior in high school I think I'm old enough to make up my own mind. Ever since I was a little kid I've known that I'm different from other guys (and I'm not talking about same-sex attractions right now – that's a different issue). It's obvious to me that I was made to be a woman. I am a woman on the inside. Now that I'm approaching adulthood, I've made up my mind to take some steps toward becoming the person God created me to be. When I talk to my mom and dad about this, they come completely unglued. You'd think the world was coming to an end. But all I want is to be myself. Can you help me?

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Dealing With Transgender Issues in Elementary Schools

How can my spouse and I help our kids understand and cope with the recent "gender reassignment" of a teacher who serves as a substitute at our local elementary school?  The last time they saw this teacher, he was a man; when they returned to school this fall, this person presented as a woman. We have concerns about this on several different levels. First, we don't want our children to be upset or confused. Second, we do want to teach them what God has to say about human sexuality. Finally, we need to know how to respond to school officials who seem to be promoting the idea that changes of this kind are normal and ought to be taken in stride. Any suggestions?

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Discussing Transgender Issues With Teens

How can my spouse and I come alongside our teenage son and daughter as they encounter instances of gender confusion in their public high school? Believe it or not, a couple of such cases have come to light during this past academic year. One of them involves a close friend of my daughter, who now identifies as a boy and wants to be treated as one. On the surface, my kids are trying to "be cool" about the whole thing, but I can tell that it has thrown both of them for a loop, each in a different way. My son in particular appears to be struggling with some deep-seated anger. We'd also like to know how to respond to school officials who seem to be promoting the idea that changes of this kind are normal and ought to be taken in stride. Can you help us out?

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Basic Information Regarding STIs

What are the symptoms associated with the major Sexually Transmitted Infections? I'm afraid I may have one, but I don't know for sure. I'm scared to talk to anyone about it. What should I do?

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Homosexuality and Salvation

Will being gay send me to hell? I believe in Jesus as my Lord and Savior and I desperately want to please Him and do His will. At the same time, I know that I am homosexual. I believe I was born this way and that nothing will ever change it. Does this mean that I'm condemned for eternity?

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Cross-Dressing Man Wants to Understand His Own Behavior

Does your organization have a perspective on transvestism? Nobody knows about my struggles with this behavior - not even my spouse. But I can't seem to control it because of the pleasurable feelings I get when I wear underclothes of the opposite sex. The pressure to keep my secret hidden has become intense over the past couple of years, and I sometimes have a sense of guilt I can't seem to shake. Do you think there's anything wrong with what I'm doing?

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How to Encourage Sexual Responsibility and Purity in Your Teen

How can I reduce the risk that my teen will become sexually active? I'm aware that sexual encounters among high school students are more common today than at any time in the past, and I'm anxious to help my son avoid serious mistakes in this area. What can I do to raise up a "hedge of protection" against sexual temptation?

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The Bible on Pre-Marital Sex and Sexual Morality

Where does the Bible actually say that pre-marital sex is wrong? My parents have always taught me that the Bible commands us not to have sex before marriage. Now that I'm old enough to think for myself, I'm having serious doubts about this. I haven't run across anything in Scripture to support their views. In fact, I can't even find any biblical basis for "traditional" marriage! Isaac and Rebekah didn't have a church wedding. Apparently they just slept together and that was it! And what about Joseph and Mary? Why was it okay for them to travel to Bethlehem together before they were married?

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Helping Teens Draw Sexual Boundaries

How do I help my teenager know where to "draw the line" physically in relationships with the opposite sex? How far is too far?

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Helping Teens Stay Sexually Pure

What can we do as parents to promote abstinence before marriage and help our teenager remain sexually pure?

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Talking with Teens about the Risks of Premarital Sex and Substance Abuse

How can we help our adolescent avoid the pitfalls of alcohol and drug and premarital sexual activity? What's the best way to make him aware of the risks?

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Key Differences Between Male and Female

Aside from the obvious physical distinctions, what are the essential differences between male and female? I'm disturbed by all of the gender-bending and -blending that's been promoted in society over the past few decades. I believe there are unique differences between the sexes that should be affirmed and celebrated. At the same time, I don't know exactly how to respond when friends on the other side of this issue challenge me to identify and describe them. Can you help me?

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Grown Son Wants to Bring Gay Partner to Family Gatherings

Should we allow our adult son to bring his same-sex partner to family gatherings? This makes us extremely uncomfortable, and we're also afraid that it may be harmful to the younger children in the family. What do you think we should do?

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Parent Concerned That Teen Might Be Homosexual

What should I do if I suspect my teenager might be gay? Our son has always been "different" from his peers, and for as long as his mother and I can remember he's shown no interest in engaging with members of his own sex - either younger or older. He definitely feels more comfortable spending time with girls his age, though there's never been a hint that he's interested in them romantically. In fact, he seems to act and behave more like a girl than a boy. He's never said anything to confirm my suspicions, but it's always in the back of my mind and I'm concerned. What should we do?

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Homosexuality: Its Origin and Place in Creation

Exactly how do people become gay? If homosexuality is wrong, why does it exist as part of God's creation? What's your perspective on a child who expresses clear homosexual tendencies before he or she is even old enough to know what sex is all about? And while I'm on the subject, why does your ministry dwell only on homosexuality when the Bible contains lots of other strange prohibitions that you choose to ignore - for example, laws against eating shellfish or mixing fabrics, or laws that appear to legitimize the institution of slavery? From where I sit, it all seems suspiciously inconsistent.

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Struggling With Same-Sex Attractions

Is there any way I can overcome my life-long struggle with same-sex attraction? I've tried to resist, but it seems inevitable that I will eventually act on these feelings. What should I do?

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The Process of Overcoming Addiction to Pornography

Why don't more people realize that addiction to sexually explicit material can be overcome? I learned the hard way that pornography addiction is progressive and destructive. For several years I couldn't stop viewing hard-core porn, but by God's grace I've been set free. As a matter of fact, I've been "clean" for more than two months now. Please tell others that this battle can be won!

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Wife is Being Asked by Husband to Spice up Sex Life with Porn

Is it right for my husband to bring pornographic videos and magazines into our bedroom as a "marital aid" or a way of "enhancing" our sexual relationship? I'm extremely uncomfortable with this, but he says I'm being "prudish." Are his requests reasonable?

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Teenage Child Viewing Online Pornography

How should we deal with a teenager who has been viewing sexually explicit material on the Internet? We've done our best to monitor our kids' online activities, but our oldest son has apparently found a way to visit pornographic Web sites in spite of our best efforts. What should we do?

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Telling Friends and Relatives About a Child Who Says He's Gay

How do we break the news to our friends and extended family that our oldest son now self-identifies as a homosexual? My husband and I are still reeling from this revelation. Our younger kids are aware that something is going on, but they don't yet know all the details. As for our relatives and the folks at church, we have no idea what to tell them - and we're worried what they'll think of us as parents. What should we say, and when should we say it?

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