Give Now to Save America's Families!
Urgent Need: Will you become one of the monthly donors needed by March 31 to embolden Christian homes to stand firm against cultural forces that dishonor God’s plan for marriage and families? Your monthly gift will ensure we can continue to provide trustworthy, biblical guidance and support to struggling families on an ongoing basis.
Choose the monthly amount you'd like to give
$
FOTF-Logo-Stretch-Color.png
Search

Explaining Porn Addiction to Kids

young boy and girl looking out door
Is there a good way to talk with children about a spouse's addiction to sexually explicit material?

My husband is recovering from pornography addiction. He’s making good progress, and our marriage is stronger than ever. But our kids are starting to ask questions about all the meetings we’ve been going to. I’m not sure what to say.

 


ANSWER:

You’re wise to resist the temptation to keep your kids in the dark about this serious issue in your marriage.

Some parents might simply lie about the meetings or offer vague explanations — do anything they could to sweep the whole thing under the rug. We commend your honesty and desire to do the right thing as a parent.

At the same time, we know you want to be careful to keep your children’s respective ages and levels of emotional maturity in mind. Whatever you do, handle the topic sensitively, and don’t overload the kids with unnecessary details.

How to talk to your kids

Lay a foundation for a healthy, biblical view of sexuality

Some moms and dads mistakenly believe that sex education is just a matter of having “the talk” when their kids are about to enter puberty. But the truth is that parents should begin discussing this subject with their children while they’re still very young.

So take some time to help your kids understand that God has created human beings in His image, male and female. Explain that men and women bring unique and complementary qualities to their relationships with one another. Let them know that our sexuality is a marvelous gift from the Creator. And according to God’s design, it can only be fulfilled and given true expression in a life-long, committed marriage or in celibacy.

Describe how Satan twists God’s good gift

Once you’ve laid the groundwork above, you can tell your kids that Satan is the great deceiver and that he does everything he can to twist and distort God’s intent for human sexuality. One of the ways he does this is by getting us to see other people as sexual objects who can gratify our own sexual desires instead of whole, valuable individuals made in God’s image.

Give your husband a chance to talk

Your husband can explain that he began to believe Satan’s lies about sex several years ago. And as a result, he started looking at inappropriate pictures of women. He can then share that he has since repented of his actions and asked your forgiveness, and that you have forgiven him.

Explain the meetings you go to

Say that the meetings you’ve been attending help husbands and wives who are dealing with the same problem. You can say that God uses other people to hold us accountable for our behavior and help us overcome temptation.

How to find ongoing support for you and your husband

In addition to a pornography recovery group, we encourage you and your husband to find a professional counselor who specializes in treating sexual addictions. (Groups like the one you participate in can offer a great deal of support. But it’s also critical to tackle the underlying issues that led to your husband’s porn addiction in the first place.)

Would you let us help? Call our Counseling department for a free over-the-phone consultation. Our staff would be glad to talk to you in more detail. They can give you a list of qualified therapists in your area who specialize in treating sexual addictions.

 

Resources

If a title is currently unavailable through Focus on the Family, we encourage you to use another retailer.

How to Talk Confidently With Your Child About Sex

Men: Maintaining Sexual Purity

When Good Men Are Tempted

The Talk

Referrals

Pure Hope

Be Broken Ministries

Articles & Other Media

Sharing God’s Vision for Sexuality (parenting podcast)

Sex Education: How to Start Early

SHARE:
You May Also Like