Give Your Pastor a Break

People often ask how I’ve managed to pastor the same church for nearly a quarter century. I jokingly say, “Well, no one else will have me; I’m stuck here.” The truth, however, is more complex, because longevity in the pulpit is due to a number of factors. For me, one of the biggest is a grateful congregation. Our family has been fortunate to be in a church that loves us and expresses its love freely.

In 2000, for example, my wife, Katrina, and I needed rest and rejuvenation. My mother had died that year, my wife’s multiple sclerosis had worsened, and one of our children had strayed badly. We were bearing the financial demands of three kids in college. I’d also assumed heavy responsibilities connected with a four-day Billy Graham campaign in Nashville, Tenn. At the same time, a tragedy struck our church—the sudden death of one of our finest young men; it had taken a lot out of me. My schedule had accelerated to impossible levels, I had writing demands coming in volleys, and, in short, we were struggling to stay afloat.

The Sunday of our 20th anniversary at the church came and went with little being said, and we were thankful. We didn’t have the energy to celebrate. But a few Sundays later, the chairman of our board came to the platform to announce that in honor of 20 years of faithful service, the church would like to send my wife and me on an all-expense paid trip to Finland.

Finland was chosen with my wife in mind. Katrina is a pure-blooded Finn; her grandparents emigrated from Finland 100 years ago. Katrina grew up in a little Finnish enclave in Maine, attended a Finnish-speaking church, ate Finnish food and had her weekly childhood bath at the local Finnish sauna. She and her mother had planned to visit Finland in 1986, but when the Chernobyl nuclear disaster sent a radioactive cloud over Scandinavia, their tour was canceled. Shortly afterward, her mother passed away, and Katrina resigned herself to never seeing the land of her grandparents. When someone in the church found out about this, the congregation decided on Finland.

The week of our departure was horrendous, especially with our straying child. When we boarded the plane, our hearts were troubled; we wondered if we should even go. But the long flight was strangely therapeutic. It gave us a chance to be together, unavailable to interruptions. We read our Bibles, chatted, napped and put some distance between us and our burdens.

In Helsinki we rested a couple of days, venturing out for a little sightseeing when we wanted. Then we joined a small group—a young lady from Germany, a middle-aged man from Spain, two women from Italy and our Scandinavian guide—for an escorted tour of the country. They were helpful and patient with Katrina’s wheelchair and often assisted her up and down steps. We were even able to hoist her safely in a boat to shoot the Langinkoski rapids.

We had a blast! Katrina was able to do everything except the traditional Finnish sauna, which was precluded by her MS. I, however, had a sauna every day, including the obligatory jump afterward in the icy lake. We came back refreshed, rested and ready to get started on another 20 years in the pastorate. One trip can’t resolve all the pressures of life, of course; they were waiting for us when we returned. But the trip did allow us to obey the Lord’s injunction to “come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest” (Mark 6:31).

Perhaps your pastor’s family hasn’t been around for two decades, but a good way to encourage their tenure is to regularly express your love and appreciation to them. It doesn’t have to be an expensive extravaganza. Use your imagination, work within your budget and think of ways to give them a much-needed break.

Everyone needs a pat on the back. Gerald Graham, former dean of the W. Frank Barton School of Business at Wichita State University, surveyed 1,500 employees to discover the factors that most effectively built morale. Out of 67 possible incentives, the first and foremost was recognition for good performance. Most pastors I know are trying to do their very best for the Lord and for their congregations, but many are discouraged. It isn’t easy to lead a church in these demanding days. Pastors and their spouses need an occasional break, a word of appreciation, a little praise and thanksgiving, a boost of encouragement—and perhaps even an occasional trip to Finland. It’s good for them, and it’s good for the church. To put it another way: Blessed is the congregation that knows how to send its pastor packing.