Don’t Go It Alone

Friends wouldn’t let a small thing like 1,400 miles keep them apart — not my wife, Kim, and her best friend, Beth.

Kim and I live in Colorado. That’s where we got to know Beth and her husband, Lee. We met through our middle school daughters. They accepted our invitation for a meal and a movie and joined our church and home group, and we fast became friends who shared joys and sorrows.

A few years later, a job layoff prompted their move to Georgia. Last summer Kim and Beth hatched a plan — they found “halfway” on the map, and we reconnected for an extended weekend in Branson, Mo.

What about you? Do you go out of your way to make and maintain friendships? Solomon tells us it’s foolish to go through life alone (Ecclesiastes 4:7-12). Truth is, the rewards of friendship are invaluable.

Reward 1: “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work.”

Be it on the job, in my community, at church or especially at home, whatever “success” I’ve experienced has come in partnership with others. This has also been true in my spiritual journey. Through the years I’ve looked for a Paul, Barnabas and Timothy in my life — a man who’s helping me grow in Christ, one who is an encourager and a third whom I’m helping to grow toward greater godliness.

Reward 2: “If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!”

A few years ago I started a friendship with a vendor at work. I recognized we were growing as friends when he would call or drop by to say hi and catch up. Before long he started attending a men’s Bible study with me and opening up about some personal struggles. One day his wife left him and took the kids. He was in a pit of despair. For the next year, we met to study the Bible and pray. We walked through those devastating days together.

Sometimes it’s not just crisis that drops us into a pit. Poor choices can trip us up. It can start so subtly: We lie for convenience’s sake, cheat Uncle Sam on our taxes — and we are exposed. Oh, to have a friend who loves us even when we’ve fallen because of failure!

Reward 3: “Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?”

Lying down together to stay warm makes a lot of sense when you consider the context of tent living and survival. Though our residential situations have changed since biblical times, we need the warmth of friends.

During my growing-up years, I clung to several friends for survival. My home life was affected by divorce and alcohol. I wouldn’t have made it without my best bud, Ron, and my future wife, Kim, and the comfort of their homes.

Life can become cold. Have you experienced it? A beloved family pet dies; a job is lost; a phone call turns your world upside down. During such dark nights, a friend who is there to weep with us brings comfort and warmth.

Reward 4: “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

Once at a men’s conference, the enthusiastic speaker said, “Tell the man next to you, ‘I’ve got your back!’ “ The man to my left said, “No, I don’t have your back! I don’t even know you!”

Only a friend will stand with you amid a battle. A spiritual battle rages around us. Satan seeks to isolate us and pick us off (1 Peter 5:8). When we’ve got one another’s back — believing the best about one another, bringing out each other’s strengths, deflecting the Devil’s fiery darts — we’re far less likely to be tanked by the Enemy.

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In Branson, Beth’s cell phone rang. Her son, Curtis, called with tragic news that a close friend was fighting for his life after an accident. As we had many times through the years, we stopped, prayed and wept with our friends.

How quickly life can turn! When you take time to make and nurture friendships, you will always have and be a friend, no matter which direction life is heading.