Focus on the Family

Social Intimacy

A social getaway might be just the ticket if you are looking for a renewed sense of adventure in your relationship.

by Bill Farrel, Pam Farrel

Have you ever experienced the magic of being alone together in a crowded place? Couples do it all the time: going out to dinner; having a cup of cappuccino at a sidewalk café; attending a movie, sporting event, or play; hitting the mall for some bargain hunting; dancing the night away on a cruise ship or at a wedding; or walking in the park on a Sunday afternoon. The world is filled with people in love!

There are benefits to going to a getaway spot that has a few other folks there than yourselves. The most obvious one is that it allows for choices. When getting away to a city or resort or cruise ship you can, at a moment’s notice, decide between dancing, bowling, windsurfing, shopping, sightseeing, eating, eating, and eating.

This kind of getaway will serve you best when you, as a couple, just need a change of pace or a change of scenery. This isn’t the kind of getaway you take to work out problems in your relationship (it might actually wake up or cause a few). And it isn’t the getaway to do some serious work on your sex life, unless you plan on room service all weekend (so that’s why you are headed to the five-star hotel).

A social getaway might be just the ticket if you are looking for a renewed sense of adventure or a way to expand your horizons or increase the level of interesting things to talk about. For example, for years Bill took missions groups to Mexico and later took our sons on a yearly fishing trip there. Meanwhile, I stayed home and nursed babies or held down the home front for the toddlers. Later, when the boys were older, we journeyed together to Mexico, and I, too, experienced the different culture, food, and ambiance south of the border. This connected Bill and me in a new way. We expanded our borders, and that made for some interesting conversations (and I picked up some pretty sexy sundresses along the way that my husband loves).

Take a moment and talk together about places you’d like to travel, things you’d like to see, and people you’d like to meet. Charlie “Tremendous” Jones once said, “What you are today is the result of the books you’ve read and the people you’ve met in the last five years.” As a couple, discuss what kind of people you’d like to become and go do what those people do, see what they see, and read what they read. Go meet them!

Now that you have some idea of the trail ahead, add in the sexual dimension. Have you ever wanted to have sex in a hut, in a high-rise, or on a mountaintop? Each of you make a list of five places you’d like to have sex in or at. We still want to go to one of those secluded island paradises where the palapas have only wispy white curtains for walls and each little casa has its own private pool or spot on a secluded beach …