What can spouses do to safeguard their marriage? In his book, His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage, Dr. Willard Harley says that the marriages most susceptible to infidelity are those where one or both spouses fail to meet their partners' primary needs. For wives, those needs are affection, conversation, honesty and openness, financial commitment and family commitment. Husbands' primary needs are sexual fulfillment, recreational companionship, an attractive spouse, domestic support and admiration.
If you've only reached the point of temptation, but you haven't acted on it yet, make changes in your life so that it doesn't go any farther. Some ideas:
While it won't be easy, your marriage may be able to survive an affair if you work at it.
The good news is that infidelity doesn't have to be a marriage-killer. When couples are determined to work through the pain of adultery, to end the affair, to forgive and to seek counseling, their unions can often be restored.
After discovering that your spouse has been unfaithful, you'll likely experience a torrent of conflicting emotions. Here are some important things to keep in mind as you sort through your feelings.