I have to admit that I'm very troubled by your e-mail. You mention your husband is a great man and that you have a great relationship, but your description of his behavior doesn't match up with that.

His comments about looking at "hot women" and wanting to have sex with them is offensive. It completely disrespects you, ignores your feelings, and in my opinion it is equivalent to committing adultery.

Pornography completely undermines the covenant of marriage. Your husband's desire to use it in the bedroom is basically his way of saying he wants to have multiple sex partners at the same time.

Pornography is also addictive. Those who use it become dependent on "other partners" in magazines or videos in order to become aroused. Like any drug, the addict eventually needs more and more porn to achieve the same "high." Many users gravitate to hard core erotic material and even violent porn.

I'm assuming from your e-mail that your husband isn't a Christian, but in the event that he is, you need to consult with your pastor about this issue as soon as possible.

If you and your husband aren't Christians, I'd encourage you to learn about God's design and intent for sexuality. A great place to start is Focus on the Family's Pure Intimacy Web site dedicated to this issue.

I'd encourage you to contact our counseling department to discuss this issue further. They can also refer you to a licensed Christian therapist in your local area.

If your husband refuses to get help for his pornography addiction, I'd suggest you read Dr. Dobson's excellent book Love Must Be Tough. It will help you develop the strength and courage to deal with this issue head-on.

Thanks for writing. I pray that you will take the steps necessary to help your husband and your marriage.

Debbie, this is a serious issue that needs to be confronted immediately. Your daughter may not realize it, but by possessing child pornography, her husband is committing a federal crime. The possession of child porn is also considered a felony in most states.

In addition to this, this sort of pornography victimizes innocent children in a horrible way, and by viewing it, your son-in-law is participating in that victimization.

You are also right to be concerned about the safety of your granddaughter. If your son-in-law is addicted to child porn, it's certainly conceivable that he could cross the line and engage in sexually abusing a minor—perhaps her. The vast majority of pedophiles who are arrested and convicted are found to have child pornography in their possession. As a safety measure, your daughter should never allow her husband to be alone with your granddaughter when she visits.

Since your daughter is a Christian, the first thing she should do is consult with her pastor about this issue. She needs all the support she can get right now, and her church can play a significant role in helping her confront this issue. I'd also suggest that she find a Christian therapist who has expertise in dealing with pornography addiction. Our counseling department here at Focus on the Family can refer her to a therapist in her area.

Also, I'd strongly suggest that you, your husband, and your daughter read Dr. Dobson's book Love Must Be Tough. It offers practical advice and guidance on how to deal with addictive behaviors, and will walk your daughter through the difficult steps she must take to help her husband and herself.