Focus on the Family

Responding to the Music

God has called husbands and wives to serve as unique vessels of His love for the other.

by Garry Brantley

Josh's work ethic impressed Nancy. A trait she very much admired about him was his ability to focus and complete tasks with excellence. While she still admired this aspect of Josh, she began to feel like he really never focused on their relationship. It seemed to her that he approached his time with her and the kids as another task to perform, rather than an experience to enjoy. She longed for deeper connection to him – to feel a part of his life.

Nancy had that social, spontaneous spirit about her that Josh loved. She never met a stranger, and everyone seemed to feel at ease around her. Nancy loved conversation, and Josh felt completely at ease sharing his feelings with her. Through the years, however, Josh began to feel that Nancy wanted more of him than he could give. As he sensed her frustration with him, Josh became increasingly frustrated with Nancy in this regard. Every previous attempt to address this tension left them both feeling more disconnected.

Listening for the Music

All couples, like Josh and Nancy, have certain issues that threaten intimacy. And, often our attempts to address them end up hurting each other, rather than healing the relationship. From the biblical material alluded to in the previous articles, here are some suggestions to help ease relational tension and nurture deeper intimacy: