My wife and I were visiting a widow. It had been more than two years since her husband died in the plane crash. She has had a significant ministry around the country sharing some of her challenges as a widow. Her life has been no easier than that of other widows, but she turned the tragedy into an outreach to others in similar circumstances.
As we talked with her she raised an interesting point. "After these last several years," she said, "I have reached an identity crisis. Who am I? Am I to be forever my husband's widow, or am I a unique person? I do not want to make a career out of widowhood."
In saying that, she expressed considerable insight into one of the keys to building a new life after widowhood or divorce, and that's determining who you are and what you want to be. God has given you experiences that build wisdom if interpreted and used correctly. And that wisdom can be a tremendous benefit to others who will go through the same dark valley.