When God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness (NIV)," and then created Adam and Eve and bid them to be sexually fruitful, it tells us something important about who God is.
I don't want to draw too sharp a comparison here, because the persons of the Trinity don't have physical bodies as we do and therefore don't manifest their love for one another as humans do. But notice the close connection in the tight space of two short verses (Genesis 1:27-28) of God's desire that we reflect the image and likeness of the Trinity and how God directs Adam and Eve first to commune with each other as sexual creatures.
We can't overlook the significance of this: God creates man and woman as reflections of the image of the Trinity and the first command is to engage in the sexual embrace.
This means that when a man and woman come together in marital sexual intimacy, somehow—mystically—they mirror the wonder, beauty, and creative power of God like no other part of creation. Again, this is far from "nothing."
As poet-farmer Wendell Berry explains, "The sexuality of community life…is centered on marriage, which joins two living souls as closely as, in this world, they can be joined."
He continues, "This joining of two who know, love, and trust one another brings them in the same breath in the freedom of sexual consent and into the fullest earthly realization of the image of God. From their joining, other living souls come into being, and with them great responsibilities that are unending, fearful, and joyful."1
Beautiful! This is the glory of family life.
Linger on how great this reality is. When Jackie and I find a quiet moment from our little ones, and we're not too exhausted (Jackie often wonders if that is possible for me), and we come together in that time of special communion, it's remarkable to think of what image we're reflecting. It can be overwhelming. No other faith has such a powerful and dynamic view of sexuality.
For Christians, single or married, this is one of the most important questions we can ask, because our sexuality is so central to who we are.
It always made me laugh inside when I was a teenager and church leaders would talk to us about sexual health and encourage us not to be sexually active until we were married.
Of course, this was smart and godly advice. But I found it funny because, even though I had never been intimate with a girl and didn't plan to be until I married, I was a healthy teenage boy. I was so hugely active sexually—on the inside, even if there was no external expression.
Things were churning in me like a volcano. I had to govern my feelings and desires constantly. I had to keep my mind from wandering where it shouldn't. I had to be careful how I related with girls and of the images I saw in magazines and on television. Mentally, I was very sexually active. And my sexual, physical, and spiritual health demanded this deliberate, internal discipline to ensure that my outward behavior was in line with what God desired for me.
What I'm saying is that we have to see "sexual activity" as so much more that just "doing it." It involves how we appreciate and live out our own God-entrusted sexuality. We are all sexual beings.
I can see this in my preschool-age children. They've already come to a place where they're instinctively shy about family members seeing them naked. When they go from their baths to their bedrooms, they're sure to wear a towel or dash as fast as they can and try to cover themselves by putting one hand in back and one hand in front of them in a futile attempt to keep anyone from seeing their bums. They've become aware, all by themselves, that certain parts of their bodies should be kept private. This is healthy, age-appropriate sexual activity.
So, not only married people should be concerned about loving God in their sex lives. We all have an awareness of our sexuality and how we express it. It's part of our thought life, the way we dress, the ways we interact with boys and girls in our youth and men and women when we're older. It's even a part of how we view and interact with God.
How do we love God in our sex lives? We love God in our sex lives by making sure they reflect the nature and qualities of the relationship shared by the Trinity, the image we and our sex lives were created to reflect. This requires that we understand some primary characteristics and qualities of the Trinity.