Adoptive Families
Foster Care Adoption
Although many foster care children have special needs, there are the benefits associated with adopting them.
by Alexandra Lütz
- "There is never so much love in the world that reaching out is a bad idea."
- — an adopted child.
In 2002, there were 117,000 children in the United States eligible for adoption from foster care, having entered the system due to abandonment, abuse or neglect.
Many hopeful adoptive families, especially those who are not infertile, say they want to help a child, yet never consider public agencies. Frankly, healthy infants don't need help; families line up to adopt them. But children in the foster care system desperately need help.
One of the most common misconceptions about these children is that they aren't adoptable. Many of them are adoptable, but they need more than stability and love. New parents need adequate information, counseling, planning and consideration before placement.
Most children adopted through public agencies have one or more "special needs," meaning they have siblings also needing families, are nonwhite, were exposed to drugs, alcohol or HIV before birth, are older than age 5, and/or have emotional, physical or mental impairments. The sooner children are out of foster care, the better off they are.
The adoption expenses for children from foster care are kept to an absolute minimum, and many of those expenses may be reimbursed, including the cost of home studies, attorneys and even relevant travel. Additionally, waiting children are often entitled to Title IV-E assistance to meet their ongoing needs and, if they qualify, are automatically eligible for Medicaid as well, but details must be arranged before finalization. Information is available online through the North American Council on Adoptable Children* (United States and Canada) or from Adoption Subsidy Advocates*.
Matching hopeful children with families is difficult, since most families want healthy, white newborns. But as few as 1 in 100 will find such a child. People who accept this reality often search outside the United States, but foreign "orphans" have the same needs as our own, with less of the valuable background information.
For some families, the special needs are no problem because of lifestyle, training and interests. But most waiting children face emotional difficulties that challenge everyone involved.
Even babies may have emotional issues because of their lack of attachment to a caregiver, but the problems become more pronounced with age. (Newborns may show distress after losing all the familiar sounds of the womb.) All children need love, yet they may have to be taught how to give and receive it, starting with the knowledge that you can be trusted. Many foster children have learned that caregivers aren't forever.
Be prepared to consistently love and accept the child, even when she tests your willingness to do so, but maintain high expectations for respect. When you adopt an older child, you might have to help him unlearn emotional survival skills acquired from being abused, neglected, rejected, moved from home to home, or feeling like he doesn't belong anywhere.
No matter the needs, being realistic about them and planning ahead to deal with them increases the likelihood of success. After you are satisfied that you have all possible information about a child's birth family and placement history and are in full agreement with your family, consider whether you can provide for all of the child's needs — medical, emotional, cultural, etc. Decide whether you are prepared to appear in court if necessary. Attend counseling and support groups.
Finally, if you have taken these steps and feel confident that this is a good option for your family, talk with others who have adopted through the same public agency and be prepared to welcome a wonderful new child to your family!
The Federal Administration for Children and Families' National Adoption Directory* provides links to photographs of waiting children and contacts for your state.
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