One Year Later
During the holidays I was sitting cuddled up with Avita, staring at the lights on the Christmas tree. In the background I could hear a reporter on the sports channel talking about the impressive job Denver Broncos' quarterback Tim Tebow had done as a starter in a recent football game.
Hearing Tim Tebow’s name, I couldn’t help but reflect on the journey I’ve been on over the last year. Last February, Tim and his mom were in a commercial for Focus on the Family that was aired during the Super Bowl. I saw that commercial only hours after my unborn baby’s father threatened to kill himself if I went through with my pregnancy. It was that commercial that led me to Focus on the Family’s Web site. And it was Focus on the Family’s advice and help that made me realize what was truly important at that moment. If it weren’t for Tim Tebow and Focus on the Family, there is a good chance I would not have my beautiful baby girl to cuddle with on the sofa.
Back when I first saw the commercial, a lot of things were in question: I was scared I was ruining Kevin’s life (my daughter’s father); I was terrified of the idea of raising a baby alone; I was overwhelmed by the thought of having to provide for a baby; I was concerned about bringing a baby into the world, knowing she wouldn’t have an involved father. But the one thing I never had any doubt about was my desire to be a mother.
Having Avita with me now, I realize I was right about a lot of things. It is scary to raise a child alone, to be completely responsible for another person. Financial concerns are taken to another level with a baby in the house. I would never downplay how hard it is to be a single parent; it is physically, emotionally and fiscally draining. But choosing to have my daughter was, without a doubt, the best decision I have ever made. I cannot even begin to describe the depth of my love for Avita. She brings me joy every second of every day. Even at 3 a.m., when I am feeding her, I’m filled with an overwhelming feeling of happiness. I am beyond grateful to Tim Tebow for making that commercial, and to Focus on the Family for helping me at such a crucial moment in my life. Avita is only three months old, and I cannot imagine my life without her.
I have never been one to judge people or even to tell people what to do. But if another woman in the same situation were to ask me what I thought she should do, I wouldn’t have to think twice. I’d assure her that being a mom might be hard, but it is so rewarding. Dirty diapers, inconsolable crying and mounds of laundry don’t stand a chance compared to one little fist wrapped around your finger or one little head buried in your shoulder – not to mention a teeny tiny smile aimed in your direction.
Sometimes I sit and stare at Avita and wonder what she will look like when she is older, what her personality will be like, what she will want to be when she grows up. Will she like country music, rock or hip-hop? Will she be artistic or athletic or both? Will she be a tomboy or a girly girl? Whether I’m buying her high heels or sneakers, I really only have one wish for her: I just want her to be happy. I wish her health, confidence and a love for her family and friends.
Despite any other challenges I face in my life, I am blessed. I am blessed with the opportunity to be a mom to this unbelievably wonderful baby girl. I couldn’t ask for anything more.