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Four Blessings of Being a Pastor’s Wife

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There are so many benefits to the role of a pastor’s wife. I will discuss four categories of blessing: your marriage, your family, your local church, and the worldwide church. Let us consider God’s goodness to you and His work through you.

For my article this month, I will focus on the blessings you will find as the wife of the pastor of your church. We are told in Philippians 4:4 to rejoice in the Lord. That verse repeats this exhortation, giving it extra emphasis. What a beautiful mindset amidst the struggles and cares of ministry! What an example it is to see that Paul was able to write about joy while the Romans imprisoned him for the gospel. You are also able to contemplate joy while you serve. Notice the words of Paul, which are also my words to you: “Finally, my brothers and sisters, rejoice in the Lord. To write the same things again is no trouble for me, and it is a safeguard for you” (Philippians 3:1, NASB).

There are so many benefits to the role of a pastor’s wife. I will discuss four categories of blessing: your marriage, your family, your local church, and the worldwide church. Let us consider God’s goodness to you and His work through you.

1. Your first blessing: the unique nature of your husband’s job

Pastors tend to work flexible hours. That can give you both some free time to enjoy venues and locations that are less crowded than on weekends. My husband and I enjoy hiking quiet trails during the week and romantic getaways in the spring and fall when the weather is nice. You must guard this flexible schedule, which is good for your marriage. Additionally, you and your husband can enjoy sweet times of prayer together. As you labor together for the flock, you become knit together by common goals. Paul tells the Philippian believers that his joy is complete when he sees them with “the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind” (Philippians 2:2, ESV). The daily walks I take with my husband enrich our marriage. We walk and talk about what makes us joyful, sad, or concerned. My husband’s flexible schedule gives us this freedom.

2. The role of ministry couple becomes a blessing to your family

Second, your unique role of being part of a ministry couple becomes a blessing to your family. When my husband began his ministry, we were in an English-speaking church in another country. Our children grew up with people of different cultural backgrounds in our home. They didn’t see racial divides. They were exposed to various cultures and practices. Our babies weren’t afraid of people who looked or dressed differently. Perhaps your children have been exposed to missionaries who stay in your home. These people have exciting stories about God at work in foreign lands. You may have decorative items around your house that people have given you from exotic places. Your family gains joy as you show concern for the underserved and marginalized in your community. I still remember when a homeless man who attended our church took us up on the offer for anyone who needed a place to share Thanksgiving dinner. He fit right in at our table. Your family can receive the joy others feel because of your hospitality. Paul said, “I rejoiced in the Lord greatly that…you have revived your concern for me” (Philippians 4:10a).

3. Your love and support for your husband blesses your local church. 

Your care for your household allows your husband to have time and energy to serve the body of Christ. Because you keep the home operating smoothly, your husband can minister to others, as did the wife’s husband in Proverbs 31. Another blessing comes from your direct communication with the man who will deliver the Sunday sermon or teach the adult Sunday School class. My husband often talks through his sermon and seeks my input. Or he might tell me he is considering a new sermon series and is curious if I think it would be needful for the church. He and his fellow leaders make these decisions, but I appreciate my husband including me. I also am my husband’s biggest encourager. On our drive home from church, I discuss aspects of his sermon that were personally meaningful. I might give him suggestions as well, which also helps the church! Another blessing is working with my husband in pre-marriage counseling or co-counseling other couples. It is a joy to serve as partners in ministry (see Philippians 1:3-5).

4. The pastor’s wife has a role in serving the worldwide church of God

God uses your home and your gifts to fulfill the Great Commission (Matthew 28:19-20). Each believer desires to serve the Lord by making disciples and teaching them. It is exciting to have a front-row seat (sometimes literally!) to baptisms, commissioning of elders, sending of missionaries, and gospel proclamation. You might be the one who helps with worship or setting up refreshments for the new members’ class. Our church became a sending church for leaders who became seminary professors, long-term missionaries, and even a seminary president. Many of the not-so-famous have gone from our church to bless other churches elsewhere. You will receive joy as you realize your unique contribution to God’s kingdom.

To close, let me share these words from Paul, which are my words for you as well: “I thank my God in all my remembrance of you … because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now. And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. It is right for me to feel this way about you all, because I hold you in my heart, for you are all partakers with me of grace” (Philippians 1:3-7). Just as the Philippians were privileged to participate in the gospel with Paul, the pastor’s wife is honored to participate in her husband’s work for Christ.


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