Focus on the Family Broadcast

Forgiving Others, Freeing the Soul (Part 1 of 2)

Forgiving Others, Freeing the Soul (Part 1 of 2)

Dr. Tim Keller unpacks powerful stories of forgiveness and shares Scripture to help you forgive those who’ve wronged you, as you gain a better understanding of all that Christ has forgiven. Dr. Keller takes you through the steps to forgiveness, including the need to forgive yourself, and how to lovingly confront others. (Part 1 of 2)
Original Air Date: November 29, 2022

Dr. Timothy Keller: If you think God’s forgiven you but you can’t forgive other people, I’m not sure you have asked for God’s forgiveness. I’m not sure you’ve repented, because if you repent, you, you know you’re a sinner, and if you can’t forgive than you can say, “Oh, God’s forgiven me.” I don’t know that He has.

John Fuller: That’s Dr. Tim Keller with some serious food for thought on the issue of forgiving others, which is central to the Christian life. We’ll unpack a lot more about forgiveness today on Focus on the Family, and your host is Focus president and author, Jim Daly. I’m John Fuller.

Jim Daly: John, forgiving someone who has wronged us is probably one of the hardest things for us to do, it’s certainly near the top of the list, if not at the top. But the reality is when we refuse to forgive, it causes resentment and bitterness to continue to fester, and it has a negative impact on us, and spills into other areas of our lives. Dr. Tim Keller has done a thorough study of this topic, and has written a great book that outlines the necessity of forgiveness, the problems we have, uh, with forgiving in our culture today are abundant-

John: Mm-hmm.

Jim: And how to practice forgiveness as Christians. You will not want to miss this great discussion.

John: And Dr. Keller is a prolific author, and the founding pastor of Redeemer Presbyterian Church in Manhattan. Uh, he also co-founded a ministry called Redeemer City to City. And, uh, the book that really forms the basis of this conversation is titled, Forgive: Why Should I and How Can I? It’s an incredible resource, and you’ll want to get that from us. Uh, you’ll find it at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast. Now this was a rare opportunity to sit with Dr. Keller near his home in New York City, and the conversation was outdoors. Uh, we’re so grateful that he allowed us to visit with him as he continued to undergo cancer treatments, and you’ll hear more about that in a moment. You’ll also hear sounds of the city, on the river, and in the sky during the interview. Here now, Jim Daly, with Dr. Tim Keller.

Jim: Well, Dr. Keller, welcome back to Focus on the Family.

Timothy: I’m glad to be back.

Jim: It’s good to have you here. (laughter)

Timothy: Well, it’s nice to be, uh, able to be here.

Jim: Yeah.

Timothy: Uh, I’m not sure a year ago I would have thought I could have kept an appointment like this, so I’m really delighted to be here.

Jim: Well, you know, l- let’s start there because so many people, when I mentioned I was gonna come out here on Roosevelt Island, and in New York, and-

Timothy: Yeah.

Jim: Have a time to chat with you. The first question is how, how is he doing?

Timothy: Yeah.

Jim: So over two years ago, diagnosed with Stage 4-

Timothy: Stage 4 pancreatic cancer May of 2020.

Jim: Right, so how are you doing?

Timothy: Well, uh, I had two years of chemotherapy, in which the chemotherapy, uh, kept the cancer at bay, and everyone said that all by itself, that was remarkably good, and that was… Already put me in the top 5% of responders, I guess, so we were very grateful to God for that. Then when it started to break out, which it does, cancer starts to grow, I was… I went to a- an immunotherapy, uh, trial. Uh, it sounds terrible when you say a trial, an experiment, but it’s a, uh, National Cancer Institute in, in, uh, Bethesda, Maryland, has worked on 2,000 patients, has been trying to find, and working on a way of, uh, getting your immune system able to fight the cancer rather than using chemotherapy.

Jim: Yeah.

Timothy: And they’ve done it many times, uh, they have successes and failures, and I was very happy to get into it. And so far, uh, it’s working, even though it’s not, uh… The jury’s still out on whether it’s, uh, you know… Remission for pancreatic cancer is extraordinarily rare, and if I actually got remission through this trial, I was told, “You’d probably be a- an article-

Jim: (laughs) Right.

Timothy: In some… In some medical journal. Nevertheless, if, if it beats it back for a longer time, it gives me more time with my wife, my, my children, my grandchildren, and so right now, it’s, it’s working. So I don’t know how long, but here I am-

Jim: Yeah.

Timothy: And able to do a lot of things.

Jim: You know, Tim, let me… Let me start there. You’ve written this great book, Forgive. Boy, our culture needs that message, and our Christian culture needs that message, but let me make it personal, if I may for a moment because at Focus, many people will write us. They’ve received a diagnosis.

Timothy: Oh.

Jim: There seems to be two responses. One is, “Okay, Lord, what do… What do You want me to do in this situation?” The other is anger, and a lack of understanding from that person about what they’re going through, kind of bitter toward God.

Timothy: Yeah.

Jim: Um, how do you decide every morning when you wake up where your emotions are gonna be with all that?

Timothy: It’s more understandable, and I would be very patient with somebody, very patient with somebody who is in their 40s or 50s, haven’t seen their grandchildren, or their children grow up. It’s much more understandable for them to say, “God, what in the world are You doing, and this just doesn’t seem fair.” Now, I did… (laughs) Forgive me for saying so, I did write a book on this on suffering-

Jim: Right. I remember.

Timothy: Uh, Walking with God Through Pain and Suffering, and I think you have to process that. You have… There’s a lot of, uh… You have to be… First of all, you have to be… You need to be patient with yourself, and other people need to be patient with you, because honestly, from what I understand theologically, God does not want this world to be this way. That He didn’t create us to die to start with, and, and so of the ways in which, um… In some ways, the suffering is not God’s will, but in other ways, it’s part of His plan, uh, between now and when Jesus comes back. Y- you know, it’s interesting. That’s kind of philosophical, and it works on somebody… You know, a college kid who’s saying, “Why does God allow evil and suffering?” It doesn’t work very well on somebody who found out I’ve got cancer and I might die in a year. Uh, and I’ve already got a little bit of survivor skills. I’ve outlived a 39-year-old woman-

Jim: Right.

Timothy: With four children-

Jim: Yeah. Yeah. Wow.

Timothy: That had pancreatic cancer, Stage 4, with me-

Jim: Yeah.

Timothy: And she’s gone. And I think it’s… You need to be very patient with yourself and with other people. There are answers. You do ultimately have to say, “You’re not really going to get much out of not trusting God.” It’s gonna be hard to trust Him and say, “You know best.” But it’s gonna be even harder not to.

Jim: Yeah. That’s a, a great point.

Timothy: And so, that’s the one approach. The other approach is… To be honest with you, Psalm 70… Excuse me, (laughs) Psalm 90 says, “If we live threescore and 10 years, or by strength fourscore…” In other words, you get past 70, I think you’re not supposed to complain.

Jim: (laughs) Right. There you go.

Timothy: I think… I feel like-

Jim: Mm.

Timothy: I… And Kathy and I have talked a lot about that. We’ve talked about the fact that, um… That it’s really important for us to, to… Even though we don’t feel old enough to die, the reality is God’s given us 70 years, plenty of other people not. I think you need to say, “Hey, you know, you’ve got to go sometime. God knows when the right time is. Teach us to number days that we get a heart for wisdom.” It’s wise to know your time is up, and in my case, what Kathy and I realized is that we’re very grateful for knowing I might die anytime ’cause it’s enormously been helpful for sanctification and prayer-

Jim: Wow. I couldn’t imagine. Yeah.

Timothy: But it’s also been helpful on focus.

Jim: Mm.

Timothy: So the day after my diagnosis, I sat down, was praying, and in my… The two words that came to me… And I’m a Presbyterian, not a Pentecostal, but they still came to me. (laughter) One was, uh, sanctification-

Jim: Mm.

Timothy: That you’re not holy enough, you know that, and I’m gonna be working on you.”

Jim: Yeah.

Timothy: And the second was focus, that you’re not focused enough. There’s things that you really ought to be doing, and instead you’re just doing whatever everybody else wants you to do to please them because you’re an oldest child and you want to please everybody, and you need to just say, “No, I can’t do that. I’ve got two or three things I need to work.”

Jim: Yeah. That, uh, concerns me because I see you as one of the most focused people I’ve ever met, so if you’re not focused, I’m in real trouble. (laughter)

Timothy: Well, yeah. People say, “You must have great focus to pop out the books.” But I’ll just say-

Jim: Not just books, but really thoughtful writing, I mean, really thoughtful.

Timothy: Well, that’s very kind of you. Well-

Jim: It’s actually true.

Timothy: All right. Well, you know what? Um, (laughter) that’s very kind of you to say, but, uh, it’s not just the books. There’s just quite a few other things that I should be doing, um, and some younger leaders that I should be talking to.

Jim: Yeah, that’s good. Good mentor.

Timothy: Do you know Ray Bakke? You know Ray Bakke?

Jim: Uh-huh, yeah.

Timothy: Ray called me about two… He was in the hospice, and he said, “I’m gonna die. I just was calling old friends.” We had a wonderful call.

Jim: Wow.

Timothy: He called about two months before he died, and we just remembered. We, we… A little concerned about the fact the, the, the generation of people who had been telling Christians, “Care about cities.” Are kind of dying off.

Jim: Right.

Timothy: But we talked a lot about various younger leaders that he was very hopeful for, and actually, it helped me because I know I’m dying too, at some point, but not as quickly, and some of th- things he said in that conversation made me say, “Well, you know, I’ve got a couple years, probably, left of pretty decent health, and I ought to be doing some of the… I should be talking to some of these folks, that I should be encouraging them, and then maybe pushing them a little bit.” So anyway, that’s-

Jim: That’s good. That’s really good.

Timothy: Here we are, sanctification, focus.

Jim: Let’s move to forgive, and again, what a tremendous concept, right from the heart of God. Let me… Let me make a statement and have you respond to it. Somebody said to me the other day, one of the mistakes we are making in the church… It’s always a- an alert when you hear somebody mention that. Is that we tend to use carnal tools against a carnal world and expect a spiritual outcome. In other words, we don’t… We’re not engaging the Fruit of the Spirit, which forgiveness would be part of, so we try to fight the spiritual battle within our human capacity using carnal tools, fleshly tools-

Timothy: Yeah.

Jim: Anger, whatever it might be, unforgiveness, and then we expect some kind of a spiritual outcome in that battle with somebody who doesn’t know God. Speak to that concept of the fading of forgiveness, which you mention in the book, and how in this culture today, with less God orientation, understanding of God, there is a fading of forgiveness.

Timothy: Yeah. Um, let’s stay there. I hope you will stay here because it’s actually… There’s more than one thing to say about this. Um, let’s just talk about the fact that we all know, including Christians, everybody’s more combative, everybody’s less forgiving, everybody’s less congenial, everybody’s le-… Ev-… And everybody is saying, maybe it’s because of the emphasis on power and justice, that even Christians have taken on that, uh, power and justice is more important than love and forgiveness, that if you compromise, if you say nice things about those people who are really the, the, the villains, and they’re trouble, that it’s unpleasing to God, not pleasing to God, and it’s hurting our culture. And so… But it’s not just on the right, you know, it’s also… I, I live here, and (laughter) the, uh, uh… There is a le-… A left progressivism that’s every bit as bitter-

Jim: Right.

Timothy: And unforgiving, and I would say I don’t know what the percentages are, but they… Both the left and the right, uh, especially the more, uh, strong left and right, are very unforgiving. In both their cases, very unforgiving, and they are very loud. I mean in other words, they’re the ones that are on Twitter, they’re the ones that are in the media-

Jim: Right.

Timothy: But they… The trouble is that they are kind of… They disagree on everything except that one and that is you don’t forgive. (laughter)

Jim: Right. Yeah.

Timothy: So that is a cultural move.

Jim: It feels like, you know, from a spiritual construct, I’ve often felt it feels like something’s been unsealed, to use Biblical language. It’s like this discontent-

Timothy: Something’s been released.

Jim: Something’s been released that-

Timothy: Yeah.

Jim: Is causing a great deal of discontent, frustration-

Timothy: Yeah.

Jim: Unforgiveness. I put it toward the idea that there’s less of God in the culture-

Timothy: I think so.

Jim: There’s less cohesion in the culture about Biblical truth, we stopped teaching the Bible. Uh I guess the point being when you… As the founding fathers said, you know, this democracy, this republic is built for a moral people, and it’s… It won’t work with any other.

Timothy: Yeah.

Jim: And then you start thinking about the fact that if we’re not treating each other well with basic truth-

Timothy: Right.

Jim: It’s gonna fall apart, potentially.

Timothy: Yeah. So there is… There’s a lot of work to do.

Jim: Let me… Let me ask you, in the book you talk about three distortions-

Timothy: Oh.

Jim: Of forgiveness, non-conditional, transactional, and then no forgiveness. Let’s go ahead and jump into those three, and maybe give us a definition of those.

Timothy: Well, the first one is more the therapeutic one, uh, the no condition… In other words, what it says is the purpose of forgiveness is just to help you get past your anger. Now, this is partly true.

Jim: Right.

Timothy: I mean, there’s no doubt that, uh, if y-… Jesus says… I mean the, the book of Hebrews says, “Be careful that a root of… About a root of bitterness, let it… Less it spring up and harm people.” Paul says, “Don’t let the sun go down on your anger. Don’t give the devil that kind of foothold.”

Jim: Right.

Timothy: So what they’re both saying is that if you don’t forgive, it hurts you. Uh, it opens you to other things, it, it, it can… We all know, by the way, bitterness can actually destroy your, your health.

Jim: Right.

Timothy: Um, and it’s also true that it could just destroy relationships, so it’s fair to say one of the reasons you ought to forgive is it’s not good for you.

Jim: Right.

Timothy: But the therapeutic approach basically says you’ve, you’ve got to, uh, get free of your anger, and has no concern at all for the ruined relationship. And a matter of fact, it kind of despises the person who wronged you. It’s almost like saying, “Don’t let him… You know, if it’s a him. Don’t let him, uh… You know, he’s not worth it.”

Jim: Right.

Timothy: I mean, they… I’ve read a lot of the more secular therapeutic books on why forgiveness is important, but the books are all about how can you get free and happy, not about what’s best for the person who wronged you, what’s best for society, what’s best for community? Should we be confronting him, should we be reconciling with him? No, it’s all internal. So it’s partly right, but it’s, it’s actually… I don’t think it’s gonna work. It’s selfish, and it also rules out… It doesn’t have any kind of vertical relationship with God either.

Jim: Right.

Timothy: It’s just like, “I’m just gonna get past this because I’m strong.” And so that’s the first kind of forgiveness.

Jim: Well, you know, it’s, it’s interesting because I think so much of this life we’re selfish creatures, I believe, and I think even in this regard, the fact that we would look through the lens of forgiveness, “Okay. Where’s the benefit for me?” (laughs)

Timothy: Yeah.

Jim: Reinforces that selfishness, right?

Timothy: “What’s in it for me?”

Jim: And then not what is best for the other person-

Timothy: That’s right.

Jim: Which is more of a Godly forgiveness.

Timothy: Or God or community. Yeah.

Jim: Right.

Timothy: Exactly, Jim. You just said the Christian understanding of forgiveness is it is a concern for human community, both inside the church and outside. You can’t really have marriage without-

Jim: Oh. Yeah.

Timothy: Forgiveness. You can’t have, I think, friendship without forgiveness. You can’t even have, uh, multiethnic relationships without forgiveness. So the idea of us being individually just concerned about how I am psychologically, that’s wrong. The second kind of… I’d say second false mis-… Or the mistake about forgiveness is the kind that actually focuses on this, that says it’s highly conditional. Like, I don’t have to forgive at all unless this person comes and grovels before me.

Jim: Right.

Timothy: Uh, interestingly, Martha Nussbaum at University of Chicago, who’s not a believer of any kind, she’s very critical… She thinks that’s the Christian idea of forgiveness-

Jim: Hm.

Timothy: And she goes to Luke 17, where it says, “If somebody repents, you have to forgive them, and if he repents, you know, 70 times 7, you have to forgive him 70 times 7.” And she says, “Basically, forgiveness isn’t what it looks like. It’s really a way of punishing people-”

Jim: Mm.

Timothy: Making them grovel under the, the image of being so gracious, and forgiving. But actually, I’m not gonna forgive you unless you come and you lick my boots.”

Jim: Right.

Timothy: And you… And, and so she sees it as very, very, uh, punitive, and harsh, and actually, it may be. I mean, in other words, like that’s not… That’s also, uh, a mistake. It’s not, uh, the full dimensions of, uh-

Jim: Yeah.

Timothy: Of Biblical forgiveness.

Jim: Uh, novelist Carrie Fisher, you-

Timothy: Yeah.

Jim: Reference this. I want to make sure people hear this. It’s fairly well known, but not everybody will have heard this, the idea of poison. Describe, uh, the comment that you made that she made, and you put in the book.

Timothy: Yeah. She, she basically says… And by the way, I’ve… When I was looking this up, people have said that she ripped this off from other people-

Jim: (laughs) Yeah, I’m sure. Whoever-

Timothy: And I have no idea, but all I know is basically, the idea is that bitterness, staying bitter at somebody is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.

Jim: Yeah.

Timothy: That’s what I mean by saying the therapeutic aspect is true. It’s… I mean, I remember years ago, with one girl, 15 years old, had a really, very difficult father. I mean, he was… She was so mad at him. And at one point, I said, “You realize if you don’t forgive him, he wins, right?” She said, “Why?” “Because you’re gonna be controlled the rest of your life by him. In fact, what… You’ll do things just because you know that would bother your father, or you’ll do things just… You won’t do things just ’cause you know he would have wanted that.” And I said, “He’ll end up controlling you.” And, uh, that was my beginning, but then I had to go even beyond that and say, “The reason, ultimately…” And maybe we should get there here. (laughter)

Jim: We will.

Timothy: The reason… The reason Christians forgive is ’cause they’re forgiven by God, and as soon as you bring that vertical thing, it, it keeps you from being totally therapeutic, or totally, uh, you know… Mak- making the other person grovel, and, uh, it-

Jim: Think of that, what’s feeding that in you that want that person to grovel?

Timothy: Yeah.

Jim: That doesn’t sound healthy. (laughs)

Timothy: No. See, if, if the… If you have the vertical, that forgiveness is something that I’ve experienced from God, undeserved, but, but, full, then that… It builds me up a little bit-

Jim: Right.

Timothy: You know, if it says, “Hey, God loves me.” Okay, so you don’t feel like they- they’ve robbed me of everything. Uh, but it also humbles you, and you look at a person who’s sinned against you and say, “Well, I’ve sinned against God, and He’s forgiven me.”

Jim: Yeah.

Timothy: So that vertical makes all the difference.

Jim: You know, other example certainly cuts close to Colorado Springs because it involved a US Gymnastics Team, and the US-

Timothy: Oh.

Jim: Olympic Center is there in Colorado Springs, so we heard about this news over and over again, but, uh, Dr. Nasser and his despicable behavior with those girls, uh, speak to the first female gymnast that actually stepped forward, and how she saw forgiveness work in that real difficult situation.

Timothy: Yeah. Rachael Denhollander. Interestingly about Rachel, who I don’t know personally, um, but you know, having gotten through the book, I make, uh, use of a lot of what she has written. She’s act-… Interestingly enough, she’s very conservative theologically, so she’s… She and her husband wrote a paper on why the doctrine of penal substitutionary atonement-

Jim: Wow. (laughs)

Timothy: The idea that, uh, Jesus Christ on the cross received the wrath of God, and thereby took all of our punishments so that we could be forgiven, and we could receive His righteousness. She had a paper on that, but like, that is actually a wonderful resource for, uh, doing justice and helping, uh, victims of abuse. Because what she said was… And I totally agree with her, is the cross was not more about justice than mercy, or more about mercy than justice. At the very same moment He died, He was totally satisfying justice, and opening the door for infinite mercy-

Jim: Right.

Timothy: For us to be forgiven. So she would say… And I tr-… The way I tried to summarize this was that you should never pit forgiveness and justice against each other. You should never say, “Well, I could either forgive or do justice.” I think the right way to say it is if you don’t forgive first, you won’t actually be pursuing justice, you’ll be pursuing vengeance.

Jim: Huh.

Timothy: There’s absolutely no reason why you can’t forgive completely from the heart and really have perfectly good will toward the perpetrator. And yet now, I’m going out to try to get that person exposed and accountable to the law? Why? For his sake, so he doesn’t keep doing it, for other victim’s sake, for God’s sake. He’s… In other words, instead of, “For my sake, I’m gonna make”-

Jim: Right.

Timothy: “I’m gonna make that sucker suffer the way he made me suffer.” No, that’s gone.

Jim: Well, and she was really bold too, even in talking with him.

Timothy: Yeah. She said, “I hope you find forgiveness.” But-

Jim: ‘Cause it’s more important-

Timothy: Yeah.

Jim: For God to forgive you then-

Timothy: Yes, and… Right.

Jim: For me to forgive you.

Timothy: Basically, he… She said, “I’ve forgiven you.”

Jim: Right.

Timothy: “I’m, I’m seeking justice, but not out of vengeance, but I hope that you will finally repent so that God… You find God’s forgiveness. It’s, uh, incredibly balanced, and very usual, I think. I think her approach is unusual.

Jim: Oh, it was overwhelmingly forgiving-

Timothy: Yeah.

Jim: And in some ways, kind-

Timothy: Yeah.

Jim: Toward him, in terms of understanding his sin.

Timothy: Yeah.

Jim: Another one is the… Where Jesus was talking about the unforgiving servant-

Timothy: Yeah.

Jim: And you mention that in the book, too.

Timothy: Oh, yeah.

Jim: What’s the story of the… And again, we could read it, and then we don’t apply it to our lives, but what’s the unforgiving servant’s part-

Timothy: Well, Ka- Kathy ma-… Now by the way, I didn’t write this book with Kathy, but Kathy’s always, always involved.

Jim: (laughs) That’s an honest man.

Timothy: Uh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, there’s been three or four books that we really did write together. Um, what Kathy says is the other books that don’t have her name on it just means that she puts her ore in but then she doesn’t… But then she says-

Jim: She does-

Timothy: “This is your book. I don’t have to do the copy editing.”

Jim: Right, she doesn’t have to feel responsible.

Timothy: Yeah, yeah. Um, what she said is you’ve got to start with the parable of the unmerciful servant. In fact, she said she felt that over the years in our ministry, that that was probably the key story, and so she-

Jim: Tell that story for the listeners.

Timothy: Well, the good thing… Yeah. And so she asked me to start with it, and I did because she… In fact, she insisted I start with it, (laughs) so I-

Jim: Right.

Timothy: It’s a… It’s… First of all, it talks about a king who has a servant who owes the king 10,000 talents. It’s a debt. And every commentator says this is clearly Jesus’ way of saying an infinite debt because a… It’s crazy. A talent was like, a year’s wages at most. It was like… It’s like 10,000 years of wages. But basically, it’s a crazy… It’s a crazy, crazy amount, and, uh, he says, “Pay my… Pay me.” And the, the servant says, “Please forgive my debt.” And the king does it. Okay, great. So then the, the first servant goes on his way, and he meets a second servant, a fellow servant, who owes the first servant just a little amount of money. And, uh, so the first servant says, “Pay me.” The second servant says, “Oh, please forgive my debt.” And the first servant says, “No, into debtor’s prison with you.” And when the king hears about it, he brings the first servant in, and he asks him a question, and this is the whole story, and it’s very powerful. “Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?” Ta-da, there it is.

Jim: I think that’s kaboom.

Timothy: Yeah, it is kaboom. In fact, you know, the only part of the Lord’s Prayer that ever gets repeated, uh, you know, when Jesus gives the Lord’s Prayer, He always then… Always repeats at the very end, saying, “And, and I want you to know that My Father’s forgiveness of you and your forgiveness of others are linked.”

Jim: Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Timothy: If you think God’s forgiven you but you can’t forgive other people, I’m not sure you have asked for God’s forgiveness. I’m not sure you’ve repented because if you repent, you, you know you’re a sinner, and if you can’t forgive and you can say, “Oh, God’s forgiven me.” I don’t know that He has. So, it… That just goes right through you. “Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant as I had mercy on you?” And, uh, a- and also the difference between this infinite debt that we owe God, and the, the smaller debt.

Jim: That’s the heart of the whole thing.

Timothy: It is, and so Kathy said, “Just, you know, cut right to the chase.”

Jim: (laughs) Go right to it.

Timothy: Right. Basically say that, and then the book unpacks it.

John: The book Dr. Tim Keller’s referring to there is Forgive: Why Should I and How Can I? And this conversation was recorded outdoors in New York City with Focus on the Family President, Jim Daly. Jim, that’s just a portion of our time with Dr. Keller on the topic of forgiveness, and there is so much more to come.

Jim: Yeah, John, and in part two, we’ll talk about how you can know you’ve truly forgiven someone, and we’ll look at the Biblical model of forgiveness, and give practical tips on how to confront someone lovingly. Uh, that’s the art, right? (laughs)

John: Mm-hmm, yeah.

Jim: And I so appreciate Dr. Keller’s wisdom and insights on one of the most important concepts we need to grasp as Christians. Our counselors hear from many listeners who are struggling in relationships. And so often, the need for forgiveness is at the heart of the matter, so don’t miss our conversation next time as we continue to unpack this vital topic.

John: And in the meantime, to follow up on what you’ve heard today, um, please ask for Dr. Keller’s tremendous book, Forgive: Why Should I and How Can I? When you make a donation of any amount to the ministry of Focus on the Family. Uh, call today. 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY. 800-232-6459, or donate and request your copy of that book at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast.

Jim: And John, uh, we mentioned our counseling team here at Focus. That’s just one of the areas where we are ministering to people who are stressed and who have needs that we can help with. When you give to Focus on the Family, God will use your support to strengthen so many people who are looking to us for answers. And right now, through a matching opportunity, your gift will be doubled dollar for dollar to help bring healing and redemption to someone’s life, and another person’s life, so please, give families hope with a gift today. And again, we’ll send you Dr. Keller’s book as our way of saying thank you.

John: And once more, our number, 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY. On behalf of Jim Daly and the entire team, thanks for joining us today for Focus on the Family. I’m John Fuller, inviting you back as we continue the conversation with Dr. Tim Keller, and once again, help you and your family thrive in Christ.

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Forgive: Why Should I and How Can I?

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Overcoming the Betrayal of an Affair

The Bulmans’ marriage almost shattered when Rick discovered his wife Tiffany, was having an affair. The day after the revelation, Rick remembered a conversation from their premarital counseling where the minister said if adultery necessitates divorce, then God is not big enough to fix a broken relationship. In this interview, Rick and Tiffany will share how their marriage was restored and offer hope to other couples.

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A Legacy of Music and Trusting the Lord

Popular Christian vocalist Larnelle Harris reflects on his five-decade music career, sharing the valuable life lessons he’s learned about putting his family first, allowing God to redeem a troubled past, recognizing those who’ve sacrificed for his benefit, and faithfully adhering to biblical principles amidst all the opportunities that have come his way.

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Accepting Your Imperfect Life

Amy Carroll shares how her perfectionism led to her being discontent in her marriage for over a decade, how she learned to find value in who Christ is, not in what she does, and practical ways everyone can accept the messiness of marriage and of life.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 2

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

Cherishing Your Spouse Every Day

Do you love your spouse, or do you truly cherish them? Gary Thomas encourages couples to make a daily effort to go beyond the ‘duty’ of love, and combat the natural inclination to drift apart, by choosing to see the best in their spouse.

Mr. Gary Thomas

Gary Thomas is an international speaker and best-selling, award-winning author whose books include Married SexSacred Marriage and Sacred Parenting. He has also written numerous articles for several prominent national magazines. Gary and his wife, Lisa, reside in Texas and have three children. You can learn more about Gary by visiting his website, www.garythomas.com.

cherish front cover

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

“Most marriages survive by gritting teeth and holding on. But marriages can and will not only survive but thrive when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another.” Those are the powerful words of bestselling author Gary Thomas in his newest book–Cherish. And in a world desperate for marriage redemption, it is needed now more than ever. Thomas shows that although there are a countless number of marriages consisting of two people just going through the motions, there are real ways this pattern can be reversed: when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another in proven, loving, and everyday actions and words.

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Newest Release - Episode 2: Heroes Providing Hope

Discover the amazing work our PRC’s Directors, Nurses, and Volunteers are making in their communities! You’ll see firsthand testimonies of a PRC in action, and that there are other options outside of abortions! You’ll also discover how your family can support your local PRC!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 4: Sometimes the Choice is Hard

Hear real life stories of parents who have made the decision to choose life even though the circumstances were overwhelming. You’ll see why “ALL” life is precious to God and why choosing life is always the right decision!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 3: The Power of a Picture

Have you ever wondered what a baby looked like in the womb? With today’s technology, Moms and Dads can see the baby’s heartbeat, facial expressions, and movements! You’ll find out why more women choose life once they hear their baby’s heartbeat and realize it’s a real living human!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 5: It’s Going to be Amazing!

After a couple has chosen life, hear the heartwarming stories of children that culture would have cast aside, yet are making tremendous impacts in their communities. Whether the diagnosis was adverse or the circumstances were difficult, these stories will inspire you to come along side of families who have chosen life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 6: Families Helping Families!

So, after all you’ve seen through the SeeLife ‘21 Episodic journey; what can you do now? We’ll share how you can partner with some amazing organizations that are making significant impacts in the pro-life movement! You want to Celebrate Life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 2

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Effective Habits to Embrace in Parenting

To be an effective parent, you must be a leader in your child’s life, guiding with a gentle hand and setting a solid example. Dr. Randy Schroeder provides the insight you need to be a leader-parent. As he explores the foundational Rs—relationship, routines, responsibilities, and rules—you’ll better understand the role you play in your child’s life. You’ll learn great phrases to employ such as “Either/Or/You Decide” and “When You/Then You”. While there is no perfect parent, this nuts-and-bolts material will equip you to lead your child in a loving, confident manner.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder has spent more than four decades writing, counseling, speaking, and teaching. For nearly 25 years, he was Vice President of Student Personnel Services, Dean of Students, and a professor of pastoral counseling at Concordia Theological Seminary in Fort Wayne, Ind. He’s also led a successful counseling practice helping individuals, couples, and families to thrive in their lives and relationships.

Cover image of Dr. Randall Schroeder's book "Simple Habits for Effective Parenting"

Simple Habits for Effective Parenting

Effective parenting is now within your grasp! With this inspiring how-to comprehensive book, achieve extraordinary results in raising a child to be self-assured, self-reliant, and responsible! You will be able to successfully lead and lovingly encourage your child toward a Godly life!

The Spiritual Battle for Your Marriage

God designed marriage to reflect His love to the world; and because of this, the enemy wants to destroy God’s beautiful design. Based on his book, Defending Your Marriage, Dr. Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff share about the reality of spiritual warfare against marriages, and how to combat the enemy’s lies with the truth of God. Couples will be encouraged that they’re not alone in the fight for a godly marriage and better equipped to be a shining example for the world around them.

Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff Cropped

Dr. Tim and Mrs. Noreen Muehlhoff

Dr. Tim Muehlhoff is a professor of communication at Biola University in La Mirada, California where he teaches classes in family communication, interpersonal communication, apologetics, gender, and conflict resolution.  Tim and his wife, Noreen, are both on staff with Biola’s Center for Marriage and Relationships  where he is a co-host of The Art of Relationship podcast. 

Defending Your Marriage

Is your marriage under attack? Sometimes it can feel like the world is trying to tear your marriage apart. Internal conflicts or external pressures might make you wonder if something sinister is going on. How can you tell if you’re facing spiritual opposition? And what can you do about it? Tim Muehlhoff provides a straightforward resource for protecting your marriage from the threats of the evil one. He looks at what Scripture says about spiritual warfare and how our everyday struggles have deeper spiritual realities. And he provides practical steps for guarding our marriages with the whole armor of God.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 1

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 2

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 2

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage - Part 2

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 2

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Embracing Your Role as a Spouse

As a spouse, you have three roles to play—a friend, a partner, and a lover. On this one-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Pastor Kevin A. Thompson explores those different roles and challenges you to live them out by investing emotionally, physically, and mentally in your relationship. As friends, he suggests we learn to play and laugh together. As partners, he equips us with solid ways to handle conflict and communication. As lovers, he offers some thoughts on how to bring back the sizzle. He shares five keys to saving your marriage: humility, respect, mercy, communication, and resilience. You’ll be encouraged to intentionally invest in your marriage.

Headshot of Kevin Thompson

Pastor Kevin Thompson

Kevin A. Thompson (MDiv, Beeson Divinity School) is lead pastor at Community Bible Church, a growing multi-site church with four locations in western Arkansas. Every year he meets with nearly one hundred couples with a range of needs, from pre-marital counseling to navigating the most serious betrayals. A marriage and parenting conference speaker, he and his wife, Jenny, have two children and live in Fort Smith, Arkansas. He blogs at kevinathompson.com.

Cover image of Kevin Thompson's book "Friends, Partners & Lovers"

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

With engaging stories and clear, simple language, pastor Kevin Thompson shows how to live out three distinct roles in marraige. Using solid biblical principles, he helps you and your spouse grow your friendship, be supportive partners through the good times and the bad, and develop a healthy and satisfying sex life.

Sharing Your Faith with Grace and Purpose

You can confidently and lovingly share your faith—you just need to learn some new tactics to do so! In this Focus on the Family Daily Broadcast, apologist Greg Koukl outlines the “Columbo” tactic of asking questions, the “self-defeating argument” tactic to find holes in your opponent’s arguments, and other specific methods for engaging in faith-building conversations with others. Greg pulls from his over 30 years of experience debating atheists and agnostics to help you share your faith with grace and truth.

Mr. Greg Koukl

Greg Koukl is a writer, public speaker and talk show host who’s spent 30 years advocating for and defending the Christian worldview. Greg has written or contributed to 15 books, including The Story of RealityTactics, and Precious Unborn Human Persons. Greg has published nearly 230 articles and has spoken on 80 college and university campuses in the U.S. and abroad.

Tactics front cover

Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition: A Game Plan for Discussing Your Christian Convictions

In a world increasingly indifferent to Christian truth, followers of Christ need to be equipped to communicate with those who do not speak their language or accept their source of authority. In Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition, Gregory Koukl demonstrates how to artfully regain control of conversations, keeping them moving forward in constructive ways through thoughtful diplomacy. You’ll learn how to stop challengers in their tracks and how to turn the tables on questions or provocative statements. Most important, you’ll learn how to get people thinking about Jesus.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 1

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

How a Former Abortion Doctor Became Pro-Life

As an abortion doctor at Planned Parenthood, Dr. Patti Giebink believed she was helping women. Later, she began reading scripture and God gradually changed her heart on the abortion issue. Patti tells the story of her long journey from abortion doctor to pro-life and encourages listeners to share the message of life with compassion.

Headshot image of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Patti Giebink

Mrs. Patti Giebink

Dr. Patti Giebink is an OB-GYN who serves on the board of the Alpha Center, a well-known pregnancy center located in Sioux Falls, S.D. She also travels intermittently to work in mission hospitals in Pakistan and other countries. After completing her medical training, Dr. Giebink worked for Planned Parenthood from 1995-1997, during which she was the only abortion-provider in the state of South Dakota. She eventually experienced a radical change of heart on the issue of abortion after receiving God’s grace, forgiveness, and love, and she is now a passionate advocate for the pro-life movement.

Cover image of the book "Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life"

Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life

Unexpected Choice is told from the perspective of a doctor who actually performed abortions through Planned Parenthood. The book chronicles her journey from being a pro-choice physician to someone speaking on behalf of the pro-life movement.

Giving up Sugar, Tasting God's Goodness

As a latchkey kid, Wendy Speake turned to sugar for comfort. Every Friday, she would pedal to the candy show and use her allowance to fill her bag with candy. And one day, when she was older and a mom of three young boys, she came to realize that she was still “pedaling” away from her stress and using sugar as comfort, instead of turning to Jesus. She was joyless, worn out, tired, and in need of a change. In this interview, Wendy will challenge Christians to take 40 days to focus on fasting from something they turn to instead of Jesus for comfort. She invited people to break free from a dependence on sugar and taste the goodness of God.

Author Wendy Speake smiling as she holds up her book "The 40-Day Social Media Fast"

Mrs. Wendy Speake

With a background in Hollywood as a trained actress, Wendy Speake ministers to women as a bible teacher by applying the power of drama, poetry and comedy to the study of Scripture and real-life application of biblical truths. She has co-authored two books with Amber Lia titled Triggers: Exchanging Parents’ Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses and their latest, Parenting Scripts: When What You’re Saying Isn’t Working, Say Something New. Wendy is also the co-author (with Kelli Stuart) of Life Creative: Inspiration for Today’s Renaissance Mom.

Cover image of the book "The 40-Day Sugar Fast"

The 40-Day Sugar Fast: Where Physical Detox Meets Spiritual Transformation

Welcome to the 40-Day Sugar Fast, a fast that begins with us giving Jesus our sugar and ends with Jesus giving us himself–the only thing that can ever truly satisfy our soul’s deep hunger. On this 40-day journey you’ll learn how to stop fixating on food and other things you use to fill the voids in life and instead fix your eyes on Christ. Anyone who runs to sugar for comfort or a reward, who eats mindlessly or out of boredom, who feels physically and spiritually lethargic, or who struggles with self-control will discover here not only freedom from their cravings but an entirely new appetite for the good things God has for us.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 1

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 2

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 2

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

Reconciling Faith and Science in a Medical Crisis

Dr. Lee Warren is a neurosurgeon who has faced many heavy challenges in his life – from serving in the Iraq War to removing deadly brain tumors to experiencing the loss of a teenage son. He’ll share about his difficult quest to find answers to some of life’s toughest questions, while holding onto his faith in God and the sure hope of heaven

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. W. Lee Warren

Dr. Lee Warren

W. Lee Warren, M.D., is a brain surgeon , inventor, Iraq War veteran, and author of I’ve Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon’s Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know, winner of the Christian Book Award®. His previous book, No Place to Hide, was included on the 2015 U.S. Air Force Chief of Staff’s Recommended Reading List. Dr. Warren has appeared on The 700 Club and the CBS Evening News, and his writings have been featured in Guideposts magazine. His Dr. Lee Warren Podcast, which is heard in more than 60 countries, helps listeners use the power of neuroscience, faith, and common sense to change their lives.

Cover image of Dr. Lee Warren's book "I've Seen the End of You"

I've Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon's Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know

This gripping inspirational memoir grapples with the tension between faith and science—and between death and hope—as a seasoned neurosurgeon faces insurmountable odds and grief both in the office and at home.

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 1

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 1

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage Part 1

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 1

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 1

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

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Newest Release - Episode 1: The Truth About Life!

In this episode, we will tackle tough questions like, “When does life begin?” and “What does the Bible
say about Life?” You’ll discover and understand the stages of pre-born life and that babies are more than
just a clump of cells!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Thank you for committing to pray for the pre-born!

Sign up below for your free seven-day prayer guide. This daily guide will help give direction to your prayers for the pro-life movement. We will be praying with you!