Focus on the Family Broadcast

Living Free From Shame and Guilt (Part 2 of 2)

Living Free From Shame and Guilt (Part 2 of 2)

Jamie Ivey discusses the struggles she once experienced over guilt about her troubled past, and describes how she found freedom from shame in a discussion based on her book, If You Only Knew: My Unlikely, Unavoidable Story of Becoming Free. (Part 2 of 2)

Opening:

Excerpt:

Jamie Ivey: I battled with that for so many years, even from the Lord of, “Am I ever going to get rid of this shame that I feel? Am I ever going to feel like I deserve what You’ve done for me, like I deserve this husband?” And I’m telling you, it is only something that God can do when we give ourselves to Him and say, “You are the only one that can make me clean. You are the only one that can take this away.” Because I have – honestly can stand here in front of you guys and say I do not feel shame over my past anymore.

End of Excerpt

John Fuller: Well, that’s Jamie Ivey, describing a very dark place in her prodigal journey, in which she discovered the power of God’s love and forgiveness in a really profound way.

Jamie returns as our guest today on Focus on the Family. And your host is Focus president and author, Jim Daly. And due to some of the more graphic details in her story, we’re gonna recommend that you direct the attention of younger children elsewhere.

Jim Daly: John, Jamie’s story is incredible in so many ways. As a parent of teenagers, I was fascinated to hear how and why she went from being raised in a Christian home to living as a prodigal for several years. I think all of us, as parents of teens, should listen to this. But what’s even more profound is where Jamie is today. Despite everything she went through, she knows without a doubt that God loves her and forgives her.

Here at Focus on the Family, we want everyone to know and experience that freedom that Jesus offers. If you’ve hit rock bottom in your life, as Jamie’s describing, I wanna urge you to reach out to us. It doesn’t matter what it is – living as prodigal, addictions, maybe an unplanned pregnancy – we are here for you. We have caring, Christian counselors who would love to talk to you and offer you some godly wisdom, hope, and encouragement.

We also have our Option Ultrasound program, where we’re funding local ministries that help women and girls facing an unplanned pregnancy. And speaking of ultrasounds, we’re gearing up right now for a major event in New York City called “Alive from New York.” That’s going to be held on May 4th at 3 PM – that’s next weekend, and I’ll tell you more toward the end of the program.

John: Meanwhile, you can find out more about Option Ultrasound, you can talk to one of our counselors, and learn details about our “Alive in New York” event at focusonthefamily.com/prolife, or call 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY.

And as was mentioned earlier, Jamie Ivey is our guest again today. She’s the host of a very popular podcast for women called, The Happy Hour. She’s married to a worship pastor, his name is Aaron, and together they have four kids.

Body:

Jim: Jamie, it’s great to have you back at Focus on the Family.

Jamie: So glad to be with you guys.

Jim: Okay, it was breathtaking yesterday. I mean, really, as a parent I was right on the edge of my seat. So often we as parents want to put our head in the sand and not realize what’s really going on in our kids’ lives – especially teenagers. And I’m guilty of that. I think everything’s flowing along just fine. And you were so vulnerable. And I so appreciate that. And if you didn’t hear the program last time, and if you’re a parent, you better get it. It’s that straightforward because it had so many helpful insights about trusting but verifying (laughter) where you’re at in your parenting journey with your kids. And I would encourage you to do that. John will give you details on that.

Jamie, as we move into the next phase, I want to pick up where you are off to college. You actually are trying to do a good job. You’re kind of doing it out of your own strength. Maybe Peter in the garden, right? You know, “I’m going to defend the son of God.” But you have another failure. Describe what happened.

Jamie: Yeah. I had just – in that – January of that year of 1999, I decided to give Jesus, like, the reins of my life. And I was like, “I can’t do this on my own anymore. I trust You. I’m going to follow You.” So here I am, young Christian but grown up in the church. So I know all the rules, right?

Jim: And the words.

Jamie: Yeah, I know the words. I know the rules. I know everything. But at this point, I had decided, “You have my heart. I’m following You. Amen.” And so I was in a relationship at that time. And one of the biggest things that I did was I went to the guy I was dating – that I also got engaged to and said, “Hey, I’m kind of having a change of heart here. I don’t think that we should be sexually active anymore.” It was, like, the biggest thing for me in my life at that point to follow Jesus was I’m going to give over something that has been – not important to me, but just a part of my life for so many years.

Jim: That is a great first step.

Jamie: Yes, it was – and it was big for me. It was really big. And he wasn’t too happy about it. And so it was all these red flags like, “Wait, this is really that big of a deal?” And so we continue our relationship. And I think it just – I started to grow. I started to want to read God’s word. I was giving up things that I had been giving myself to. I – stopping drinking. I stopped having sex, all the things. And then, you know, the longest way to that story is that I got engaged to that guy. A few months later, I really felt like, “I can’t marry this guy. He doesn’t even love Jesus. And I can’t do this.” And so I broke off that engagement. A couple months later – this is where the crazy story starts – I then go on a work trip, and I invite him with me. Dumb, I know, right? What y’all are all thinking.

Jim: Yeah.

Jamie: “What are you thinking, Jamie,” right? We were friends at the time. It wasn’t a big deal. We were not going to get married ever. And on that trip, we had sex. I fall. I’m following Jesus now, you guys. Like, I love God with all my heart. I’m doing the best I can. I’m following Him. And I make the same mistake that I had made, you know, for the past five, six, seven years of my life. And I felt so full of shame. I felt like, “God, I have screwed up again. Am I ever going to be able to get this under control? Am I ever going to be able to follow You and give this up?” It was a one-time thing. But then I ended up pregnant. That’s the second time I’ve been pregnant.

Jim: Right.

Jamie: But I’ll tell you the difference. This is when I knew that I loved God, and He loved me. When I got pregnant the second time, I did not feel as though God wanted to disown me. I did not feel as though…

Jim: And that was different?

Jamie: So different. I felt the love from God. I felt forgiveness from Him. I felt as though, “I made a mistake and God still loves me. And God can still use me. And God is still going to be a part of my life.” Whereas before, I felt embarrassed. “What if people know?” And again, here, I’d still be embarrassed. What if people know? I mean, we still had a long road ahead of us.

Jim: Sure.

Jamie: But I knew in that moment, “I have really given my life to You because I feel different.” And so I made a big mistake. Everyone does. But God was still so good to me in that moment.

Jim: Yeah.

John: And you planned to – to keep the baby?

Jamie: Yes, I planned to keep the baby. I wasn’t gonna marry this guy ‘cause I knew I didn’t want to marry him. And then, unfortunately and fortunately – it’s a really crazy scenario – I ended up having another miscarriage. And so God was just so good in that time because I felt so near to Him. And I didn’t feel like – what I thought I would feel like is that He would look at me and go, “Man, I thought you were loving Me. I thought you were going to follow Me. Now I know you’re a fake.” That’s what I thought people would think. And that’s what I thought God would think. And I think people might have thought that. You know, like, had I ended up carrying that baby and delivering – I think people might have thought that. But I knew God did not think that about me. And that was the most beautiful thing that had ever happened into my life that far.

Jim: Jamie, and it’s so important for people to hear that because they may be still at what I would call phase one or step one, where you were feeling that guilt and shame from what you perceived to be God expressing that from conviction and everything else. And that all has a purpose. But that loving feeling…

Jamie: Yeah.

Jim: …The second time.

Jamie: Yeah.

Jim: Couple of questions there. With true repentance, help us better understand, from someone who has gone through failures, if I can say it that way…

Jamie: Yeah.

Jim: …What does true repentance sound like? What is the definition for that woman or that man listening that maybe continues to struggle? What would you say to them?

Jamie: Yeah. I experienced true repentance before I knew I was pregnant. And so when the sin happened, I knew I felt guilt that led to repentance, not guilt that led to shame.

Jim: Wow, that is big.

Jamie: Yeah. And so I did feel guilt for that. I knew I had messed up. I knew I had sinned against God. But it led me to repentance before I ever knew I was pregnant. So it wasn’t like I found out I was pregnant – “Oh, I guess I should repent.” That was a consequence of my action. You know, and so that repentance was real for me.

Jim: And I can imagine when you speak on this, someone will be, after the talk, someone’s going to be standing in line to greet you and say hello. And they’re going to look at you and say, “I heard you. But this is the seventh time I have failed. This is the 15th time I have failed.” And it may not just be a sexual sin. Just broaden that out, whatever it might be. But that burden, that guilt is upon them. And they’re looking at you. I’ve been in this spot when I’ve talked. And they’re looking at you saying, “How do I experience what you experienced? How do I get through that guilt? How do I actually know that God loves me even though I’m failing?”

Jamie: Yeah.

Jim: What do you say?

Jamie: One of the greatest things that I think I had to learn was I used to think, “I have too much sin, too much baggage. How can God use me? How can He forgive me fully? How can He love me?” I’m bringing a lot to the table here – right? To God. That’s what I’m thinking. And I had kind of this “aha” moment when I realize the pride that was in me to say to God, “You said you sent your son to save sinners. I’m too big for that.”

Jim: You’re too much of a sinner?

Jamie: I’m too much of a sinner.

Jim: That’s an interesting way to look at that.

Jamie: The pride in my heart to say, “God, You said You sent Jesus to save all. You sent Your only Son to die on a cross for all of our sin. But I’m going to look at You, God, and say, thank you for doing that for those people. I’m too much.” And I think that we’ve got to get past that as followers of Jesus, as Christians, and say, “Man, God,” – and, I mean, we could go all day about other ways that you can help with community and in the Word and all those kind of things. But one of the first things I think is for us just to realize, God sent Jesus for our sins.

Jim: Yeah.

Jamie: Not just the first time you sin.

Jim: Yeah.

Jamie: The 17th time you sin.

Jim: Jamie, I have a friend who told me – and he said, at the time, I was the only one he’d ever told – where he had been abused as a boy. And he was a type-A driven person. And it caused a lot of havoc in his life. And he said to me, “The reason I’m like this is because every morning I wake up, I’m trying to get clean.” And I thought, wow, what an expression. Did you ever have that feeling? “If I work harder, if I try harder, then I’ll be clean enough for God.”

Jamie: You know, when I first got married to my husband, he had never kissed a girl before he met me.

Jim: So totally different experience?

Jamie: Totally different experience. So I brought a lot of kind of shame into our marriage of – nothing ever from him. Nothing was ever expressed from him. But from me constantly wondering, could he have done better? Could he have got a quote, unquote, like, “pure woman” to marry? And I sometime – I battled with that for so many years, even from the Lord of, “Am I ever going to get rid of this shame that I feel? Am I ever going to feel like I – like I deserve what You’ve done for me, or like I deserve this husband?” And I’m telling you, it is only something that God can do when we give ourselves to Him and say, “You are the only one that can make me clean. You are the only one that can take this away.” And I honestly think that’s years of counseling. It’s years of being in the Word. It’s years of having community who surrounds you and believes in you and tells you what’s true. Because I have – honestly can stand here in front of you guys and say I do not feel shame over my past anymore.

Jim: Yeah.

Jamie: I don’t.

Jim: That is so healthy.

Jamie: And it’s only because of the work that I’ve done in counseling, the work that I’ve done in the Word, the work in the community that I’ve built. It’s me every day having to say, “Not only do I know what You say about me, God, but I choose to believe it.”

Jim: Yeah, knowing that God truly loves you.

Jamie: Yes. And then believing it.

Jim: Yeah.

Jamie: Because I knew a lot of things, but I didn’t believe them. Now I actually believe when He says, “You are a new creation. When I look at you, I see Jesus.”

Jim: Yeah.

Jamie: “I come to make, you know, old things new.” I believe those things.

Jim: And I, you know, I really want to turn to the listener right now because there are people who are going, “Whoa, I’m living that bad dream. I have those voices. I hear that in my heart. I don’t feel God can love me enough.” I know where you’re at. Man, you’re hearing it from Jamie right now. There is a dawn available to you. The sunrise is in front of you. But you need to get connected that way. And we’re here for you at Focus on the Family. We can provide some help through caring Christian counselors. We can get you moving in the right direction. We can provide tools and resources to help amplify what Jamie is talking about. We can offer you Jamie’s book, which would be a great start. Get in touch with us. Don’t be ashamed. We’ve heard it all. Forty years we’ve been doing this. You’re not going to surprise us. Jamie’s here with quite a remarkable story. We invited her here…

Jamie: Yeah.

Jim: …To say this so that her testimony could reach into your heart and hopefully put you on a better path with Christ. Don’t shrink back. Get a hold of us.

John: Yeah, I do hope you’ll call us and schedule a time to talk to one of our counselors or request Jamie’s book, If You Only Knew. Get other resources as well. Our number is 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY – 800-232-6459. And online, we’re at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast.

Jim: Jamie, just before that break, you mentioned it. But I want to elaborate with your relationship with Aaron, your husband, as you’re dating, because there’s so much in there, so much you put in the book and so much beauty in it, especially coming from him. You set it up wonderfully there, where he’s coming from a, you know, reasonably pure background, right? Never kissed a girl.

Jamie: Right.

Jim: I mean, that – you don’t get any purer than that…

Jamie: Exactly, yes.

Jim: …In this area.

Jamie: Yeah.

Jim: He may have had other issues. I’m sure he did. But describe those discussions in your early dating relationship, where you think, like all of us when we’re courting, “This could be the one.”

Jamie: Yeah.

Jim: And you start feeling that. I can’t imagine all the things running through your head. “Could he really love me? Will he love me even though? And when do I tell him? Do I tell him who I was?” Describe all of that and tell me Aaron’s response.

Jamie: Yeah, I had known Aaron for about two years. When I moved home to live with my parents, we went to the church where he was on staff. So he was my brother’s youth pastor. He did all kinds of things at our church. And so I knew him that way. We were friends. And he actually asked me out on a date four months after that last pregnancy – that he didn’t know about.

Jim: Right.

Jamie: And so I went out on a date with him. And it was our first date. And Aaron was not my typical guy that I’ve dated before. I had dated athletes, and he was an artist. And so it was just this different thing for both of us. But I was really intrigued by him because he loved God a whole lot.

Jim: Wow.

Jamie: And he made me laugh a whole lot. And so we went on this first date. And I told him on the first date. I said, “Hey, listen. I’ve got some things that I – I’ve got some things…”

Jim: First date?

Jamie: First date.

Jim: Wow.

Jamie: Oh, I was like, “This guy’s too good. Like, I need to, like, lay it on the table.”

Jim: Huh.

Jamie: But I said this. I said, “I’ve got some things I need to tell you. But I’m not really sure I’m ready to tell you yet.” And he said, “Okay, you can tell me whenever.” And I look back on that now. And I’m thinking to myself, A, if someone said that to me on a first date, I’m like, “You need to tell me now, or we’re done.” Like…

Jim: Yeah, you’d be knocking on the door.

Jamie: Yes.

Jim: “What did you want to tell me?”

Jamie: “What did you want to tell me?”

Jim: “Hey, before you leave tonight…”

Jamie: Yes.

Jim: “…Tell me. Tell me. Tell me.”

Jamie: Yes. And he was so patient. And he didn’t ask. And so that entire spring semester, I prayed, “God, would you prepare him to hear what I’m going to tell him?”

Jim: Yeah.

Jamie: “Would you prepare his heart? Would you prepare me to speak to him? Would you prepare all of our – both of our hearts for this conversation?”

John: So you kept dating him?

Jamie: We kept dating. We kept dating.

Jim: This is high-risk stuff.

Jamie: For him, for sure, yeah.

Jim: Well, for you too.

Jamie: Me too, he could be out. And so we kept dating. And that whole semester praying and praying. And over that semester, I realize, “I’m going to marry this man. This is – I want to marry this man,” you know? And so we both feel that way. And I decided, I ask God, “You make it very clear to me when I’m supposed do this.” And we were at a retreat with our students. He was a youth pastor. And so we were down in South Padre Island. And we’d had communion on the beach. And everyone had left. And I was all alone. And it was like, this just – God obviously didn’t speak to me audibly. I’ve never had that happen. But I knew, “This is the time you will tell Aaron.” So I’m on the beach alone. And he comes down to find me. And I still get teary-eyed…

Jim: Yeah, it’s wonderful.

Jamie: …Because it was such this monumental moment in our life and our dating. And he sits down. And just the moon’s out and the waves. And he knew, I’m sure. And I said, “I’m ready to tell you everything.” And he sat across from me on the beach, and we held hands. And I laid it all out on the table, everything – everything on the table. And he looked at me with tears in his eyes. And he said, “You have nothing to be ashamed of. That’s not even the Jamie that I know.” And I remember in that moment, it felt like the first human said to me what God says to me.

Jim: Huh.

Jamie: “You are a new creation.”

Jim: Yeah.

Jamie: “The old things are passed. I’m doing new things in your life.” And it was the man I was going to marry that was speaking that over to me, when he had every – now I think, of course, all of us have sin. And so I don’t know that I would have liked him that much if he would have said, “Oh, I’m done with you.” But I do think he did have a right and a way to say, “This is too much for me. I don’t know.” And he did it. And it’s never been an issue – never ever.

Jim: That vulnerability, though – I mean, people have been married 30, 40 years and have never experienced that kind of acceptance or that kind of trust.

Jamie: Yeah.

Jim: That’s a wonderful way to start your marriage.

Jamie: I think I needed that because I was already nervous about things that God felt about me. I struggled with that for years.

Jim: Oh, you had to.

Jamie: Yeah. And so I don’t know that I could have entered into a marriage without being convinced 100 percent that he didn’t think these things about me. And I never felt that Aaron did at all.

John: Yeah. And Jamie, I’m curious about where that response from Aaron came from. I mean, what was in him that said, “Oh, that’s not who I know you to be?”

Jim: The love of God.

Jamie: Yeah. I think my husband at the time – and for sure, now, obviously – he has a really great understanding of the sin nature of man and to know, like – for him, to say, “Oh, you are worse than I am” – even though we didn’t have these outward struggles with sexual sin. There were inner struggles with pornography and any other kinds of things. And so he had a really good understanding of the way that God looks at us. And he doesn’t look at us and say, “Oh, you’re the worst sinner because of this. Oh, you’re not that bad. You know, that sin – we could just not deal with that.” Aaron had a really good idea that “How can I say that her sin is worse than mine?” because we’re all sinners at the foot of Jesus, you know?

Jim: Well…

Jamie: And so I think that was a really mature thing of him at 21 years old.

Jim: And now we’re kind of talking to the broader believer community. I mean, how do we get a better grasp on this so we don’t become cousins of Caiaphas – Caiaphas, of course, being the high priest and everything that Jesus hated about religion that, you know, you live by the rules, and you’re okay. And it creates us this disdain for sinners, which Jesus attacked. You know…

Jamie: Yeah.

Jim: …I can’t imagine what He felt like when He saw His creation looking down on people who were struggling.

Jamie: Yeah.

Jim: And even when I’m thinking about this, trying to put myself in your shoes as you read the New Testament particularly and Jesus being, you know, uh, looked down upon for hanging out with the wrong crowd, He was there with you in the college, right?

Jamie: Always, yeah.

Jim: He was the one hanging out with you.

Jamie: Mmhmm.

Jim: How do you feel about that, Jesus being there with the prostitutes and the drunkards and the sinners? I think it’s a wonderful illustration…

Jamie: Yeah.

Jim: …Of God’s heart for humanity.

Jamie: Totally – and I love it. And I think there’s something that I think that our, you know, Christians today and churches are struggling with. And I call it sin shock, of hearing someone’s sin or their struggle and then being, “Oh my gosh. How could you? What’s wrong with you?”

Jim: Right.

Jamie: And that creates this era of not being able to confess, not feeling comfortable in a situation around Christians.

Jim: No trust.

Jamie: No trust – and I just don’t ever see Jesus doing that hanging out with sinners in the – He never was like, “Oh, what’s wrong with you? how could you?” – because He knows we’re sinners.

Jim: Yeah.

Jamie: But instead He opens His arms wide and says, ‘You can come to Me.”

Jim: Yeah.

Jamie: “This is a safe place.” And what we see from that is what we do our own lives when we don’t talk down to people when they confess their sin to us. We point them to Jesus because Jesus is not going to talk down to them. Jesus is going to offer them hope. He’s going to offer them love. He’s going to offer them salvation. And so I can get on a big soapbox about us as Christians hearing someone confess a sin or hearing someone confess a struggle and then kind of looking at them like, “Wow. I would have never thought that about you,” instead of “Okay. How can we work through this?”

Jim: I often…

Jamie: “How can I point you to the Gospel?”

Jim: Yeah. I often look in Romans – second chapter where it says, “Don’t you know it’s God’s kindness that leads one to repentance?”

Jamie: Yes. Yes.

Jim: I mean, that’s a beautiful story.

Jamie: Or even Paul in Romans 7, when he was like, “I – my flesh wants this, and my spirit wants this.”

Jim: Yeah.

Jamie: “You know, and so I’m in this constant battle.” And then right in Romans 8:1, it says “Therefore, there’s no condemnation for those who are in Jesus.” And Paul is saying, “You’re going to have this struggle with the flesh and the spirit.” I feel it every day, you know? And so we need…

Jim: This is reality.

Jamie: This is real. Paul tells us, “This is real.” And then when the flesh takes over, he says right next there, “There’s no condemnation.”

Jim: Well, that’s a good place to end because you’ve gone through a lot. You really have. And it’s a beautiful story. The Lord’s taken you through the valley, introduced you to Aaron, who was already on the mountaintop, it sounds like. But practical tools, I want to get back to that because people are hearing this. They’re longing for what you’ve experienced because it’s right. It’s healthy. It’s good. What are two or three of those things that they can do to get from point A, a bad place of condemnation, regret, self-loathing, all of that that you experienced…

Jamie: Yeah.

Jim: …To get to a better place where, “I know God loves me.” What would you say to them? What are two or three things that they should be doing? It doesn’t guarantee anything. But this puts you in a trajectory to get closer to God.

Jamie: Yeah, I think one of the things I can say – and this sounds really churchy, but I mean it with all my heart – is to read God’s Word.

Jim: Absolutely.

Jamie: I have met so many people who – that has happened to them, exactly what God says will happen, that His word transforms lives. And so get a Bible, get in His Word. Another thing I would say, and you mentioned this, that they can call you guys to get help with this, is to find a good Christian counselor. A Gospel-centered counseling place is crucial. And then my third thing is I say community is vital. And I know that’s hard. When people hear that, they’re like, “I don’t know where to find good friends.” Churches – go serve places. Where you’re serving, you make connections.

Jim: But it’s not just finding a place. Describe the adjectives that go with a healthy place.

Jamie: Yes. Find a group of girlfriends – or friends. I always talk to women, sometimes.

Jim: I know, yeah, right.

Jamie: But find friends who are safe, and you can trust them. And what I know about a safe and a trustworthy friend is that they love God more than they love me, which means they’re constantly going to point me back to Him. They’re not going to condemn me. But they’re going to show me His grace and show me His love. So get in His word. Find a good counselor, and find good friends.

Jim: Well, I love it. And Jamie Ivey, you have done it. You have gotten up many times. But you have made it. And…

Jamie: Well, sanctification is a lifelong process.

Jim: But a powerful…

Jamie: I’ve still got other sins we could talk about, big time.

Jim: Powerful story, and I love, again, the honesty of your book, If You Only Knew: My Unlikely, Unavoidable Story of Becoming Free. You’re free indeed.

Jamie: Thank you.

Jim: That’s wonderful.

Closing:

John: Well we’re going to encourage you to make sure you get a copy of Jamie’s book, along with an audio copy of this 2-day broadcast. You might want to pass this on to a friend. We’re gonna have details at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast, or call 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY – 800-232-6459.

Jim: John, I mentioned at the top of the program today, that Focus on the Family is hosting a major pro-life event called, “Alive from New York.” And on those big screens in Times Square, we plan to present a live, 4D, third trimester ultrasound that will show the whole world what a baby in the third trimester looks like – fully formed. I mean, these babies are sucking their thumbs, they’re moving their limbs. I mean, this is a baby. So many women, when faced with the crisis of an unplanned pregnancy, may be tempted to seek an abortion – simply because they don’t know what to do. And many advocates in the abortion community are feeding into that fear with lies and misinformation about what’s at stake. We’re talking about precious human life – life that is sacred and holy, created in the very image of God. And that’s why we’re taking this important stand on Saturday, May 4th. And I wanna encourage you to stand with us – come to Times Square, let your pro-life views be heard. We want our leaders in government to know that all life is worthy of protection and our love.

John: You’re gonna find all the details about See Life Clearly and other pro-life resources at the special website we’ve set up, focusonthefamily.com/prolife. Or call 800-232-6459 – 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY.

Jim: And may I ask you to please consider supporting Focus on the Family’s pro-life efforts financially. We depend upon the partnership of committed believers like you, who want to lift up the value of human life. Your gifts will also help us be a bold witness for life in today’s culture – through the New York event and well beyond that. We have our Option Ultrasound program, where together, we’ve helped save more than 425,000 babies from abortion. I mean, imagine that! Your gift of just $60 will help save a baby’s life. And I’d like to know that we can count on you to help save that child’s life today. So please join us and be a voice for the voiceless!

John: And if you become a monthly supporter, or you can just make that one-time gift of $60, we’ll send you a complimentary copy of Jamie’s book, If You Only Knew: My Unlikely, Unavoidable Story of Becoming Free. That’s our thank you gift for joining our support team. Donate and find out more at focusonthefamily.com/prolife.

Well, coming up next on this broadcast, Stephen Arterburn shares a man’s perspective about abortion.

Teaser:

Stephen Arterburn: So many times, a woman takes full responsibility for the abortion, and yet every one has at least one man involved. It could be a boyfriend, a husband, a father, a pastor, a physician, or a counselor.

End of Teaser

John: On behalf of Jim Daly and the entire team here, thanks for listening to Focus on the Family. I’m John Fuller inviting you back as we once again help you and your family thrive in Christ.

Today's Guests

Save babies from abortion - every month!

Just $60 can help save a life through the Option Ultrasound™ program. Your monthly support will help us equip more pregnancy medical clinics across the country with ultrasound machines. And when you give today, we'll send you a copy of the book If You Only Knew.

Recent Episodes

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The Heart Of a Warrior

War veteran Chad Robichaux uses a story of nearly being captured by the Taliban in Afghanistan to make an important point: when we are at a critical juncture in our life, we need to recognize that fact and then make a move. He calls it being “on the X.” Chad goes on to share how he almost committed suicide while suffering PTSD, and encourages his audience to fight against suicidal thoughts. He concludes by describing how a mission to save his Afghan interpreter turned into a huge evacuation of anyone targeted by the Taliban after American forces left Afghanistan.

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Taming Your Child’s Tongue

In a discussion based on her book I Can’t Believe You Just Said That!, Ginger Hubbard offers parents a Biblically-based three-step plan for dealing effectively with their children’s back talk, whining and lying. She also stresses the importance of dealing with matters of the heart, rather than simply addressing outward behavior.

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If You Want a Great Marriage, Do This (Part 2 of 2)

Katharine Hill, Director of Care for the Family in England, offers couples helpful reminders for cultivating a thriving marriage in a discussion based on her book If You Forget Everything Else, Remember This: Building a Great Marriage. (Part 2 of 2)

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Accepting Your Imperfect Life

Amy Carroll shares how her perfectionism led to her being discontent in her marriage for over a decade, how she learned to find value in who Christ is, not in what she does, and practical ways everyone can accept the messiness of marriage and of life.

Sara Hagerty, author of Every Bitter Thing is Sweet

Being Seen by God

Offering encouragement found in her book Unseen: The Gift of Being Hidden in a World That Loves to be Noticed, Sara Hagerty describes how we can experience God in ordinary, everyday moments, and how we can find our identity in Him apart from what we do.

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Being the Hero Within You

Rodney Bullard, Vice President of Community Affairs at Chick-fil-A, encourages listeners to make a heroic impact on the world in an inspiring discussion based on his book, Heroes Wanted: Why the World Needs You to Live Your Heart Out.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 2

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

Cherishing Your Spouse Every Day

Do you love your spouse, or do you truly cherish them? Gary Thomas encourages couples to make a daily effort to go beyond the ‘duty’ of love, and combat the natural inclination to drift apart, by choosing to see the best in their spouse.

Mr. Gary Thomas

Gary Thomas is an international speaker and best-selling, award-winning author whose books include Married SexSacred Marriage and Sacred Parenting. He has also written numerous articles for several prominent national magazines. Gary and his wife, Lisa, reside in Texas and have three children. You can learn more about Gary by visiting his website, www.garythomas.com.

cherish front cover

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

“Most marriages survive by gritting teeth and holding on. But marriages can and will not only survive but thrive when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another.” Those are the powerful words of bestselling author Gary Thomas in his newest book–Cherish. And in a world desperate for marriage redemption, it is needed now more than ever. Thomas shows that although there are a countless number of marriages consisting of two people just going through the motions, there are real ways this pattern can be reversed: when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another in proven, loving, and everyday actions and words.

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Newest Release - Episode 2: Heroes Providing Hope

Discover the amazing work our PRC’s Directors, Nurses, and Volunteers are making in their communities! You’ll see firsthand testimonies of a PRC in action, and that there are other options outside of abortions! You’ll also discover how your family can support your local PRC!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 4: Sometimes the Choice is Hard

Hear real life stories of parents who have made the decision to choose life even though the circumstances were overwhelming. You’ll see why “ALL” life is precious to God and why choosing life is always the right decision!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 3: The Power of a Picture

Have you ever wondered what a baby looked like in the womb? With today’s technology, Moms and Dads can see the baby’s heartbeat, facial expressions, and movements! You’ll find out why more women choose life once they hear their baby’s heartbeat and realize it’s a real living human!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 5: It’s Going to be Amazing!

After a couple has chosen life, hear the heartwarming stories of children that culture would have cast aside, yet are making tremendous impacts in their communities. Whether the diagnosis was adverse or the circumstances were difficult, these stories will inspire you to come along side of families who have chosen life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 6: Families Helping Families!

So, after all you’ve seen through the SeeLife ‘21 Episodic journey; what can you do now? We’ll share how you can partner with some amazing organizations that are making significant impacts in the pro-life movement! You want to Celebrate Life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 2

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Effective Habits to Embrace in Parenting

To be an effective parent, you must be a leader in your child’s life, guiding with a gentle hand and setting a solid example. Dr. Randy Schroeder provides the insight you need to be a leader-parent. As he explores the foundational Rs—relationship, routines, responsibilities, and rules—you’ll better understand the role you play in your child’s life. You’ll learn great phrases to employ such as “Either/Or/You Decide” and “When You/Then You”. While there is no perfect parent, this nuts-and-bolts material will equip you to lead your child in a loving, confident manner.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder has spent more than four decades writing, counseling, speaking, and teaching. For nearly 25 years, he was Vice President of Student Personnel Services, Dean of Students, and a professor of pastoral counseling at Concordia Theological Seminary in Fort Wayne, Ind. He’s also led a successful counseling practice helping individuals, couples, and families to thrive in their lives and relationships.

Cover image of Dr. Randall Schroeder's book "Simple Habits for Effective Parenting"

Simple Habits for Effective Parenting

Effective parenting is now within your grasp! With this inspiring how-to comprehensive book, achieve extraordinary results in raising a child to be self-assured, self-reliant, and responsible! You will be able to successfully lead and lovingly encourage your child toward a Godly life!

The Spiritual Battle for Your Marriage

God designed marriage to reflect His love to the world; and because of this, the enemy wants to destroy God’s beautiful design. Based on his book, Defending Your Marriage, Dr. Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff share about the reality of spiritual warfare against marriages, and how to combat the enemy’s lies with the truth of God. Couples will be encouraged that they’re not alone in the fight for a godly marriage and better equipped to be a shining example for the world around them.

Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff Cropped

Dr. Tim and Mrs. Noreen Muehlhoff

Dr. Tim Muehlhoff is a professor of communication at Biola University in La Mirada, California where he teaches classes in family communication, interpersonal communication, apologetics, gender, and conflict resolution.  Tim and his wife, Noreen, are both on staff with Biola’s Center for Marriage and Relationships  where he is a co-host of The Art of Relationship podcast. 

Defending Your Marriage

Is your marriage under attack? Sometimes it can feel like the world is trying to tear your marriage apart. Internal conflicts or external pressures might make you wonder if something sinister is going on. How can you tell if you’re facing spiritual opposition? And what can you do about it? Tim Muehlhoff provides a straightforward resource for protecting your marriage from the threats of the evil one. He looks at what Scripture says about spiritual warfare and how our everyday struggles have deeper spiritual realities. And he provides practical steps for guarding our marriages with the whole armor of God.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 1

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 2

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 2

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage - Part 2

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 2

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Embracing Your Role as a Spouse

As a spouse, you have three roles to play—a friend, a partner, and a lover. On this one-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Pastor Kevin A. Thompson explores those different roles and challenges you to live them out by investing emotionally, physically, and mentally in your relationship. As friends, he suggests we learn to play and laugh together. As partners, he equips us with solid ways to handle conflict and communication. As lovers, he offers some thoughts on how to bring back the sizzle. He shares five keys to saving your marriage: humility, respect, mercy, communication, and resilience. You’ll be encouraged to intentionally invest in your marriage.

Headshot of Kevin Thompson

Pastor Kevin Thompson

Kevin A. Thompson (MDiv, Beeson Divinity School) is lead pastor at Community Bible Church, a growing multi-site church with four locations in western Arkansas. Every year he meets with nearly one hundred couples with a range of needs, from pre-marital counseling to navigating the most serious betrayals. A marriage and parenting conference speaker, he and his wife, Jenny, have two children and live in Fort Smith, Arkansas. He blogs at kevinathompson.com.

Cover image of Kevin Thompson's book "Friends, Partners & Lovers"

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

With engaging stories and clear, simple language, pastor Kevin Thompson shows how to live out three distinct roles in marraige. Using solid biblical principles, he helps you and your spouse grow your friendship, be supportive partners through the good times and the bad, and develop a healthy and satisfying sex life.

Sharing Your Faith with Grace and Purpose

You can confidently and lovingly share your faith—you just need to learn some new tactics to do so! In this Focus on the Family Daily Broadcast, apologist Greg Koukl outlines the “Columbo” tactic of asking questions, the “self-defeating argument” tactic to find holes in your opponent’s arguments, and other specific methods for engaging in faith-building conversations with others. Greg pulls from his over 30 years of experience debating atheists and agnostics to help you share your faith with grace and truth.

Mr. Greg Koukl

Greg Koukl is a writer, public speaker and talk show host who’s spent 30 years advocating for and defending the Christian worldview. Greg has written or contributed to 15 books, including The Story of RealityTactics, and Precious Unborn Human Persons. Greg has published nearly 230 articles and has spoken on 80 college and university campuses in the U.S. and abroad.

Tactics front cover

Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition: A Game Plan for Discussing Your Christian Convictions

In a world increasingly indifferent to Christian truth, followers of Christ need to be equipped to communicate with those who do not speak their language or accept their source of authority. In Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition, Gregory Koukl demonstrates how to artfully regain control of conversations, keeping them moving forward in constructive ways through thoughtful diplomacy. You’ll learn how to stop challengers in their tracks and how to turn the tables on questions or provocative statements. Most important, you’ll learn how to get people thinking about Jesus.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 1

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

How a Former Abortion Doctor Became Pro-Life

As an abortion doctor at Planned Parenthood, Dr. Patti Giebink believed she was helping women. Later, she began reading scripture and God gradually changed her heart on the abortion issue. Patti tells the story of her long journey from abortion doctor to pro-life and encourages listeners to share the message of life with compassion.

Headshot image of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Patti Giebink

Mrs. Patti Giebink

Dr. Patti Giebink is an OB-GYN who serves on the board of the Alpha Center, a well-known pregnancy center located in Sioux Falls, S.D. She also travels intermittently to work in mission hospitals in Pakistan and other countries. After completing her medical training, Dr. Giebink worked for Planned Parenthood from 1995-1997, during which she was the only abortion-provider in the state of South Dakota. She eventually experienced a radical change of heart on the issue of abortion after receiving God’s grace, forgiveness, and love, and she is now a passionate advocate for the pro-life movement.

Cover image of the book "Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life"

Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life

Unexpected Choice is told from the perspective of a doctor who actually performed abortions through Planned Parenthood. The book chronicles her journey from being a pro-choice physician to someone speaking on behalf of the pro-life movement.

Giving up Sugar, Tasting God's Goodness

As a latchkey kid, Wendy Speake turned to sugar for comfort. Every Friday, she would pedal to the candy show and use her allowance to fill her bag with candy. And one day, when she was older and a mom of three young boys, she came to realize that she was still “pedaling” away from her stress and using sugar as comfort, instead of turning to Jesus. She was joyless, worn out, tired, and in need of a change. In this interview, Wendy will challenge Christians to take 40 days to focus on fasting from something they turn to instead of Jesus for comfort. She invited people to break free from a dependence on sugar and taste the goodness of God.

Author Wendy Speake smiling as she holds up her book "The 40-Day Social Media Fast"

Mrs. Wendy Speake

With a background in Hollywood as a trained actress, Wendy Speake ministers to women as a bible teacher by applying the power of drama, poetry and comedy to the study of Scripture and real-life application of biblical truths. She has co-authored two books with Amber Lia titled Triggers: Exchanging Parents’ Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses and their latest, Parenting Scripts: When What You’re Saying Isn’t Working, Say Something New. Wendy is also the co-author (with Kelli Stuart) of Life Creative: Inspiration for Today’s Renaissance Mom.

Cover image of the book "The 40-Day Sugar Fast"

The 40-Day Sugar Fast: Where Physical Detox Meets Spiritual Transformation

Welcome to the 40-Day Sugar Fast, a fast that begins with us giving Jesus our sugar and ends with Jesus giving us himself–the only thing that can ever truly satisfy our soul’s deep hunger. On this 40-day journey you’ll learn how to stop fixating on food and other things you use to fill the voids in life and instead fix your eyes on Christ. Anyone who runs to sugar for comfort or a reward, who eats mindlessly or out of boredom, who feels physically and spiritually lethargic, or who struggles with self-control will discover here not only freedom from their cravings but an entirely new appetite for the good things God has for us.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 1

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 2

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 2

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

Reconciling Faith and Science in a Medical Crisis

Dr. Lee Warren is a neurosurgeon who has faced many heavy challenges in his life – from serving in the Iraq War to removing deadly brain tumors to experiencing the loss of a teenage son. He’ll share about his difficult quest to find answers to some of life’s toughest questions, while holding onto his faith in God and the sure hope of heaven

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. W. Lee Warren

Dr. Lee Warren

W. Lee Warren, M.D., is a brain surgeon , inventor, Iraq War veteran, and author of I’ve Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon’s Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know, winner of the Christian Book Award®. His previous book, No Place to Hide, was included on the 2015 U.S. Air Force Chief of Staff’s Recommended Reading List. Dr. Warren has appeared on The 700 Club and the CBS Evening News, and his writings have been featured in Guideposts magazine. His Dr. Lee Warren Podcast, which is heard in more than 60 countries, helps listeners use the power of neuroscience, faith, and common sense to change their lives.

Cover image of Dr. Lee Warren's book "I've Seen the End of You"

I've Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon's Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know

This gripping inspirational memoir grapples with the tension between faith and science—and between death and hope—as a seasoned neurosurgeon faces insurmountable odds and grief both in the office and at home.

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 1

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 1

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage Part 1

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 1

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 1

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

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Newest Release - Episode 1: The Truth About Life!

In this episode, we will tackle tough questions like, “When does life begin?” and “What does the Bible
say about Life?” You’ll discover and understand the stages of pre-born life and that babies are more than
just a clump of cells!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Thank you for committing to pray for the pre-born!

Sign up below for your free seven-day prayer guide. This daily guide will help give direction to your prayers for the pro-life movement. We will be praying with you!