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What to Do When You’re Not Okay (Part 1 of 2)

What to Do When You’re Not Okay (Part 1 of 2)

Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. (Part 1 of 2)
Original Air Date: July 7, 2021

Preview:

Debra Fileta: When you change your thoughts, you begin to change your life. And that’s why something that people are so passive about, what’s on replay, they don’t even think twice about it. We’ve gotta work to take inventory of our thoughts. Uh, the Bible says, “Take every thought captive.” In counseling, we call that cognitive behavioral therapy, you know. But God thought of it long ago, transforming our mind and making sure that what’s flowing out of our mind is bringing us health and not the other way around.

End of Preview

John Fuller: That’s Debra Fileta, and she joins us today on Focus on the Family. I’m John Fuller, with your host, Focus president and author, Jim Daly.

Jim Daly: You know, life can be pretty stressful. Uh, I think we can all attest to that, between work relationships and other obligations. Uh, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are and what we’re about. Um, it’s, you know, nipping at us all the time. But the last year or so has, uh, shown us that it’s more important than ever to take care of ourselves, including our emotional and physical health. God wants us to do that. Uh, 1 Peter 5:7 tells us, “We can cast all our anxieties on him because he cares for us.” And that’s a great promise. Uh, do we believe it, is a question. Here at Focus on the Family, we wanna help you, uh, bring healing and restoration to you and to your family with trusted Christian perspectives, um, and, uh, bring you, hopefully, that emotional, mental, physical, and most importantly, spiritual health-

John: Mm-hmm.

Jim: … that will keep you in a good place throughout your entire life. And we’re gonna do that today.

John: Yeah. And our guest, as I said, is Debra Fileta, and, uh, she’s a licensed professional counselor, uh, a national speaker, a relationship expert, a podcaster. She’s written a great book we’ll be discussing today, Are You Really OK? Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. And we have that here at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast.

Jim: Debra, I think John missed the, uh, the most amazing part; mother of four.

Debra: (Laughs).

Jim: (Laughing) I love that one the most (laughs).

Debra: Yep. We just welcomed our fourth child three months ago.

Jim: Three months. Three months, I love it. And you’re actually sleeping through the night (laughs).

Debra: We are, praise the Lord. That, talk about helping with emotional health-

John: (Laughs).

Jim: (Laughs).

Debra: … when you sleep through the night.

John: Sleep is wonderful.

Jim: Well, and you know what’s so good about that is that’s wonderful for moms to hear.

Debra: Yeah.

Jim: I mean, you’re a professional mom. You’ve got the kids; you’ve just had a child. Uh, you’re living the dream (laughing) even though you may not get enough sleep to be dreaming.

Debra: Yeah. It makes all the difference.

Jim: (Laughs).

Debra: We shouldn’t be surprised when those small physical things like a lack of sleep actually begin to impact the other areas of our life as well.

Jim: Yeah. And you know, to get serious about it, you are a professional counselor. That’s your main thing. And your husband John’s a physician. And you, uh, probably individually, obviously, but as a couple too, I mean, you know a lot of people dealing with emotional, spiritual, mental health issues, et cetera. And even though a lot of us put our best foot forward, um, the reality is in our hearts, we’re really not always okay, which is the whole point of your book Are You Really Okay? What motivated you to write this? What were you seeing in the culture, in your own friendships, your own relationships that made you feel like, “Eh, maybe we’re putting a mask on?”

Debra: You know, th- I would say this book was motivated by two different things. First and foremost, the things I was seeing as a licensed counselor in my practice. You know, I’m working with amazing men and women who are spiritually mature, but not emotionally healthy, and not mentally healthy. I’m working with pastors who are struggling with burnout or anxiety or depression and things that we’re not always comfortable sharing about. But the problem is then the stigma grows and then we’re afraid to share about it when we’re struggling emotionally and mentally. And secondly, I’ve been through my own journey of mental and emotional health. I have battled depression and anxiety. Being a licensed counselor doesn’t make you immune to those things. And so, because of those two reasons, I’m just very passionate about this important message.

Jim: In fact, um, to kind of pull the audience in so they can hear your heart, you had one of those full-blown panic attacks. Uh, for people that have not had that experience, I have not had that experience, describe for me and for the listeners, what is that like? And what was your particular circumstance? What happened and how did it grab you in that way?

Debra: A panic attack is essentially a physical manifestation of emotional distress. So, you’ve got all of these underlying emotions, but they come out through the form of a physical manifestation. So, you might feel dizziness, lightheaded. You might feel like your heart rate is skyrocketing. You might even feel tingling or sweating, an inability to breathe. And many people really believe that something is happening physically. A lot of my clients describe it as going crazy, or they feel like they’re gonna die. And usually, you run to the emergency room only to find out that there’s nothing wrong with you physically, and it’s an emotional response what’s actually affecting your physical health.

Jim: What happened in your case though? You were traveling somewhere-

Debra: Yeah.

Jim: … or about to go on a field trip or something?

Debra: So, a few years back, I actually went through a very traumatic miscarriage where I lost the baby, but I also almost lost my life. I started hemorrhaging and it was a very traumatic experience. But the thing about trauma is it doesn’t always affect you in the moment. Usually in the moment you’re in survival mode and you don’t have time to face the trauma. Well, about two years after that, I was in a safari park with my kids and my husband and all of a sudden, I started having these symptoms that I would describe as a panic attack. But what I didn’t realize was that my body was now starting to process the stress that I had gone through many years before but never really taken the time to face-

Jim: Uh.

Debra: … and deal with and heal.

Jim: That’s amazing though, two years later.

Debra: Two years later. I mean, if you think about it, when soldiers go off to war-

Jim: Right.

Debra: … they’re in the middle of a battlefield. They are not there to process the trauma. It’s when they get home and they’re not in survival mode anymore, when things have calmed-

Jim: Mm-hmm.

Debra: … down, oftentimes that’s when trauma begins to impact you.

Jim: Let me ask you spiritually, uh, from a Christian perspective, w- what is God doing in the make-up of his creation? Why do we go through that? What is the helpful aspect of it and what’s the thing that we have to look out for?

Debra: Well, I think by design, it’s a beautiful process because it shows you that God understands how human being’s work. He knows that when we’re in survival mode and we’re dealing with the stress of what’s going on today, we don’t have the capacity to also process it in a healthy way. So, he allows us to sort of hibernate in a good way. And then later on, he brings it to us when we’re ready to heal. Uh, layer by layer healing happens. I think if it all happened at once, it would be quite overwhelming. And not only that, I don’t think many of us would be able to survive through it.

Jim: Yeah. In the book of Mark, y- you point to w- w- something, I think you call the baseline for general health.

Debra: Yeah.

Jim: It corresponds with the greatest commandment. Describe that scripture in Mark that caught your attention as a counselor-

Debra: Mm-hmm.

Jim: … that helps people.

Debra: Uh, you know, I think the most important thing to remember as we talk about this scripture is just because we’re Christians doesn’t mean we’re healthy. And Jesus calls us to love him with our heart, soul, mind, and strength. That’s what we read in scripture. When we look at that, heart represents our emotional health, soul represents our spiritual health, mind represents our mental health, strength represents our physical health. So, we shouldn’t be surprised when we face struggles in those areas because if we’re to love God with our heart, soul, mind, and strength, you better believe the enemy is going to try and attack us in our heart, soul, mind, and strength. So instead of being surprised by the struggle, as Christians, we just need to be prepared for.

John: Hmm.

Jim: And you know, the reality is we are in this world. I mean, scripture tells us we’re in this world. Paul told us we’re gonna struggle in this world. Uh, we’re wired spiritually, particularly, for life eternal with Christ in heaven. But in that context, uh, Christians who do struggle with anxiety, with depression, uh, that’s part of my wife’s story. She’s been on the broadcast before. Her family has really struggled in those areas. Biochemically, I mean. Um, how do we in the Christian community communicate positiveness about the idea of seeking help? Don’t hold back. It’s okay. I think my wife would say, Jean would say, she struggled with the concept that, “If I’m a believer in Jesus, then I should pray that he takes this away.” But that can be traumatic over a decade or two. And you’re not getting help in that regard. So, speak to those anxieties-

Debra: Yeah.

Jim: … and what Christians should do.

Debra: You know, those are truly unhealthy beliefs that hold us back from healing. I remember once when I was in the presence of a pastor, I had just come out of a dark postpartum depression, and he didn’t know that. And he said, “True believers don’t suffer from depression because they have the Holy Spirit at work in them.” And I was devastated to hear that. He didn’t know what I had just come through.

Jim: And what did that make you feel like? ‘Cause, uh, Jean and I have talked about this specifically, less than.

Debra: Yeah.

Jim: Like, I’m not, I’m not good for God.

Debra: Right. It makes you feel like you don’t have enough faith, or you don’t have enough strength or maybe there’s sin in your life. Rather than seeing it as a chemistry issue, we see it as a character issue. And that’s flawed thinking, because many times what’s actually happening underneath the surface is a chemical imbalance, um, that could be caused by many different things, whether it be past trauma, whether it be hormonal imbalance. There’s a plethora of things it can be caused by, but we have to understand that we can’t just point to it being a faith issue and leave it at that.

Jim: And the idea that, you know, I w- I want to also acknowledge, there are spiritual things that occur around the world. I’ve seen things that, you know, you pray against, you pray for that person. So those are realities as well, spiritual bondage, et cetera. But so often in this area of mental health, it is exactly that, it’s chemical issues that are occurring in the physical nature-

Debra: Yeah.

Jim: … that were made up with.

Debra: Everything is holistic in the sense that when we’re faced with a problem mentally or physically, we do bring it to prayer. I think it would do us better to use the, the comparison of a cancer diagnosis. You know, when you’re diagnosed with cancer, first of all, you don’t blame yourself. You know, you don’t say, “Maybe I didn’t have enough faith or strength.” You, you look at the cancer and you say, “How am I gonna attack this?” You go get medication. You go get help. You go get whatever you need.

John: You get a lot of prayer partners (laughs).

Debra: And then the community supports you. They bring you meals, they lift you up in prayer. But we don’t always treat depression and anxiety, which is an illness of the mind and the brain, in the same way.

Jim: Yeah. And in Mark, uh, I think you’re pointing to the scriptures, “Hear O Israel, the Lord, our God, the Lord is one, and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.”

Debra: Yeah.

Jim: And, and that’s what you’re reinforcing.

Debra: Yes.

Jim: And, uh, some people, especially those that are struggling with, uh, mental illness, that’s a daunting task, just hearing that. “Wow, I don’t know if I can accomplish that.” Speak to the inadeq- the feeling of inadequacy, that I can give that way to the Lord, uh, you know, with all my heart, with all my mind, with all my strength? Uh, do people come into your practice asking, “How can I do this, Debra?”

Debra: Yeah, I think it can seem overwhelming when we look at the blanket verse, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength.” And we have to remember, this is step by step, pro- little by little, one thing at a time where we’re trying to align who we are to who God has called us to be. This isn’t an overnight process of healing. We don’t overnight get to a place where we’re struggling, and we don’t overnight get to a place of healing. And so, I think we have to give ourselves grace and realize that healing in all of these areas is layer by layer. It’s a cyclical process. Two steps forward, a couple steps back, a few steps more forward, but we’re moving in the direction of sanctification.

Jim: Right? And that’s exactly the word I was gonna use. Life is the process of sanctification. And the Lord knows that.

Debra: Yeah.

Jim: He created it for us. And i- hopefully we’re growing closer to him, more deeply in him every day, until we die, and we’re with him. That’s the whole point. Uh, Debra, what’s a good way to survey how our past affects us? I know that’s something we look at. We’ve had many guests on the program talking about family of origin issues. Um, how much attention should we pay to that family of origin? The household we grew up in.

Debra: I think the best indicator of how the past is impacting us is what’s happening in the present.

Jim: Describe that.

Debra: When we find ourselves dealing with insurmountable emotional struggles, or relationship conflict that doesn’t seem to be going away, or maybe an inability to control our emotions, our anger, these are usually signs that there’s something that needs healing in our life. And oftentimes it’s something from our past that we haven’t identified. So, I call them these emotional black and blues that happen in the present. You know, when there’s a, a big reaction to something, maybe you feel like it’s an over-exaggerated response to a situation, oftentimes these emotional black and blues are sore spots from the past.

Jim: Hmm.

Debra: When somebody presses up on them in the present-

Jim: (Laughs).

Debra: … they hurt.

Jim: So true.

Debra: You know, they notify us that something’s going on in.

Jim: And in those emotional patterns then, uh, w- what are some of the patterns that you’ve noticed maybe in your own life?

Debra: I think oftentimes what happens is we learn from our past experience for the good and for the not so good. And many people listening might say, “Well, I had a pretty good childhood. You know, I didn’t, there wasn’t-”

Jim: “I felt loved.”

Debra: “I felt loved-”

John: Mm-hmm.

Debra: “Oh, I have Christian parents.”

Jim: Yeah.

Debra: Well, I come from that type of a background of good home, good family. They loved the Lord. My grandfather was an evangelist all across the Middle East. But there were patterns that I wasn’t aware of that I needed to deal with that were impacting my emotional health. For example, when you grow up in an immigrant family, you kind of learn that you need to do, you need to work hard. It’s almost like a productivity factor. And so, for me, I equated value with how much I was able to accomplish, because that’s what they did coming from a different country, starting new in America. Even though it was a Christian home and focused on ministry, I began translating that into my life as, “I need to do in order to be valued by God.” And when you get to a point of doing too much for the wrong reasons, you reach burnout, you’re empty, you’ve got nothing left to give. For me, I reached a place of depression.

John: Hmm.

Debra: And so even though it was a healthy family, there were still unhealthy patterns that were passed down to me that I needed to deal with.

John: Well, today we’re talking to Debra Fileta on Focus on the Family. And, uh, her book, Are You Really OK? Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters, a great resource. And we’ll encourage you to look for a copy at our website, focusonthefamily.com/broadcast, or call 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY.

Jim: Uh, Debra, in the book, you use a couple of metaphors, one, the iceberg, and then the volcano. (Laughing) I think they are pretty self-evident.

John: Extremes here.

Jim: But, uh, describe what the iceberg represents and the volcano.

Debra: You know, the iceberg is kind of our tendency to really stay superficial. Uh, the reason I call this book Are You Really Okay is because it’s easy to answer that question and say, “Yeah, I’m good. You know, I’m fine,” without really going deeper. But just like an iceberg, there’s always more, a lot more going on underneath the surface. And I think this past year for so many people, 2020 was a year of dealing with a lot of emotions. I call it the year of exposure because emotions are like a volcano in the sense that there’s always pressure building underneath the surface. When you don’t identify those emotions and deal with them in a healthy way, they will find the point of least resistance-

Jim: Hmm.

Debra: … and you will experience an emotional explosion. For me, it was a panic attack. For you, it might be an anger outburst, or disconnecting from your spouse emotionally. Maybe you’re withdrawn and depressed. But that’s the key, is learning that to be emotionally healthy, we’ve gotta learn to go underneath the surface and figure out what’s really going on inside of us.

Jim: You know, and when you say it in that context, Debra, I would think that spouses are typically the recipient of the explosion.

Debra: Yeah, you’re absolutely right.

Jim: Right? Uh, it-

Debra: Many times, relationship conflict gives you a signal that there’s a lot more going on underneath in your personal life.

Jim: You know, one thing before we move to spiritual health and talk about that, uh, w- w- when you ask the question, “Are you really okay?” Sometimes I think people respond like, “Yeah, I’m fine,” because they kind of infer that you really don’t wanna know. This is a cultural gesture.

Debra: Yeah.

Jim: Speak to that as well. Are we really ready to hear somebody say, “Well, sit down, ’cause I’ve got a lot of baggage I gotta tell you about it.”

Debra: You’re right, it is a cultural gesture. When you see somebody at the store, you’re not gonna unload.

Jim: (Laughing) yeah, right.

Debra: And if you do unload, you’re probably gonna be looked at like something’s wrong with you, right?

Jim: Yeah, the friend will avoid you in the future.

Debra: The problem is we take that cultural gesture, that thing that’s been normalized through social media, you know, on Instagram are only posting the highlights.

Jim: Oh, yeah.

Debra: We’re, we’re presenting this picture that we’re doing okay, so much to the point that we actually start believing that’s really all there is to us-

Jim: Yeah.

Debra: … and we don’t take the time to dig deep. And we don’t have people in our life who we can really open up with. That would be my question to you. “Do you have people in your life where you can honestly answer that question?” I’m not saying you need to answer it to everyone you run into in the store, or on Instagram or social media, but you need to have people in your life that you can really begin to take a little deeper and begin to unpack how you’re really doing.

Jim: That’s a great suggestion. And develop those friendships where you can have that. Two, three people-

Debra: Yeah.

Jim: …. is all it really takes to be able to be that vulnerable, that honest. Let’s move to the spiritual component and the spiritual wellbeing that we need to seek. W- w- what does that even look like? Uh, like emotional, I’m not sure that we know. Outside of going for annual physicals-

Debra: Right.

Jim: … I think I’m lost.

Debra: Well, first of all, let’s start with what it’s not. Spiritual health is not a checklist of things we’re doing right.

Jim: (Laughs).

Debra: It’s not, “I’m reading my Bible. I’m going to church. I’m praying every day.” You can do all those things and not be spiritually healthy. When my husband was in medical school, this guy off the street, snuck into the hospital and wore a white coat and pretended to be a doctor all day just for a prank. And it took all day for people to recognize that he was a fraud. He wasn’t really a doctor. Just because you wear a white coat doesn’t make you a doctor. Well, doctors wear white coats, but that’s not what makes you a doctor. And I think spiritual health is the same. Just because we go through our spiritual checklist doesn’t make us spiritually healthy. What makes us spiritually healthy is ultimately why and what our beliefs about God, why we’re doing the things we’re doing. What is motivating us and what is our view of God? And sometimes that view of God can be tainted. We’re doing things for God out of shame or fear or guilt rather than because God is love, unconditional, because of his kindness. And I think if our view of God is faulty, everything else is gonna be faulty that outflows from that.

John: Mm-hmm.

Jim: Wow, you may be describing all of the ills of Western civilization (laughing) at this point. That’s a big statement- you’ve just made. Um, Debra, you had an experience, I believe in a psych ward-

Debra: Yeah.

Jim: … when you were doing your counseling and you had to, uh, do your student hours or something like that.

Debra: Yeah.

Jim: What happened in that context? And what did you learn from it?

Debra: When I was first starting off as a counselor, I worked at a psychiatric unit and I was in charge of this young man who had psychosis, which he was hearing and seeing things. And I was doing an assessment to see how he was doing and I was asking him these questions and I started twirling my earring with my finger. It’s kind of a nervous habit. Well, little did I know that he comes from a abuse history of a mother who used to also twirl her earrings.

Jim: Oh my.

Debra: And the second he saw me doing that, he transferred all of his feelings onto me. He started screaming at me, “You ruined my life. I hate you.” The, with, in counseling, we call that transference, where you put all of your hurts on an innocent bystander. Sometimes we do the same thing to God because of our past wounds, things we’ve experienced in our family, maybe an absent father or a critical mother. We tend to then see God through that same lens. We transfer those hurts onto him and we see him with flawed eyes. And honestly, I think that’s the number one thing that inhibits our spiritual health.

Jim: It, let me dig into that for a moment, because it’s one of the most difficult questions that I’ll get, you know, when I speak and I talk about m- you know, my testimony is basically, you know, as an orphan child. But men will come up to me particularly and they’ll say, “How did you not become bitter towards your alcoholic father?” It’s one of the most difficult questions for me to answer because I never did. And I think in that context for me, I, I had a healthy, even as a child, I had a kind of a healthy understanding. This was his problem, not my problem, yet I wanna be tender to those 50 men that are standing in that line and basically saying the same thing to me. They’re 40, 50, 60 years old and they’re asking me, “I’m still bitter at my dad for what he did to me.” How do you help that person to say, “You gotta let go. I mean, what your father did to you, your father owns, you do not own this.”

Debra: Right? I think when we, when it comes to dealing with these difficult experiences, it’s important to acknowledge how we feel, you know, not to try to sugarcoat it, not… I love that you had such a healthy reaction, but I’m also aware, like you said, not everybody does.

Jim: Hmm.

Debra: And that’s okay. That’s a starting point-

Jim: Right?

Debra: … right? To be able to say, “I do feel bitter. I do feel hurt.”

Jim: And it’s okay to do that-

Debra: It is okay-

Jim: … to feel that.

Debra: … because as you’re acknowledging that, what you’re doing is you’re starting to diffuse those underlying emotions underneath the surface of that volcano. You’re acknowledging them. You’re putting words to them. And I think for some people, through the process of things like counseling, you begin developing empathy for the people that hurt you and seeing that hurt people end up hurting people. Right? We, we hear that phrase often-

Jim: Right.

Debra: … but when you start having empathy and compassion and seeing where that hurt person came from, you begin freeing yourself from the pain that you carry. It’s a process. You know, it’s not something that overnight. And I really believe that even when you forgive somebody, the process of forgetting can take time and energy and work. And you might never forget-

Jim: Yeah.

Debra: … but you’re at least able to put that on them and take ownership of what is on you.

Jim: What about that person who maybe has carried that burden for decades and th- they get it out there, “I do have this bitterness. I acknowledge that.” They may have had that discussion with the Lord, you know, kind of the shaking fist, “God, why have you done this to me?” And they’re still in that part of the cycle. They haven’t really made it to the letting go. What encouragement do you have for them s- for them to say, “Yeah, I’m okay?” I mean, they’re really moving from, “I’m not okay,” to, “I’m okay.”

Debra: I just would remind them that healing happens in layers and not to expect themselves to get to a, a wonderful place overnight. When you think about past abuse and how many days it takes for you to experience, or how many years you’ve been through that type of thing, to have the expectation on yourself that you’re gonna heal from that overnight is unrealistic.

Jim: Right.

Debra: You’re putting too much pressure on yourself. If it takes years to get to a place of bitterness, it might take years to unpack that.

Jim: Yeah.

Debra: It might take months to unpack some of those things.

Jim: Yeah.

Debra: And it’s a process. It’s a journey. It’s l- again, it’s a journey of sanctification and you’re not alone through it. Uh, when I think about blame, it tends to happen in three ways. First we put the blame on ourself.

Jim: Mm-hmm.

Debra: “I did something wrong.” The next level is we put the blame on God, “He did something wrong.” But I think the third place where we should land is putting the blame outward on this world, this sinful, fallen, broken world, and the enemy that lurks within. When we can leave the blame there, we can begin to move away from it and begin to heal.

Jim: Boy, it’s so true. And that scripture, which the first Bible someone gave to me at 15 was John 10:10. Of course, it took me a while to find that, but that, “The thief comes to steal-”

Debra: Yes.

Jim: “… kill and destroy.” That’s his mission. And it’s you. He wants to steal from you joy, peace, the things that God is giving you, he wants to destroy you, he wants to kill you. And, uh, that’s his mission each and every day. And, Debra, this has been so good. We’re gonna come back for a second day to talk a little more in depth about your wonderful book Are You Really Okay? And you said to me, before we started, i- this is your favorite topic. I could see that as a counselor, ’cause you want to move people from a place of not being okay to an abundant life. The, uh, the end of John 10:10, that, “He came that we might have an abundant life,” right?

Debra: Yeah.

Jim: And that’s what I see light up in your eyes. You want people to live that full experience with God. And here at Focus on the Family, that’s what we’re about. We want you to f- feel that fulfilled life in your marriage, in your parenting journey, uh, in your sphere of influence. Uh, we want to, uh, be there to assist you and equip you to live that life that God has called you to live. And, uh, get in touch with us. Um, again, uh, Debra’s book Are You Really Okay, if you can make a gift to Focus for any amount, we’ll send it to you as our way of saying thank you. You can do that through a monthly pledge or through a one-time gift. And if you can’t afford it, this kind of help, this emotional spiritual help is what we wanna be about, so, uh, just call and request it. We’ll trust others will cover the cost of getting that to you. And again, Debra, let me say thank you for being with us and we’re gonna come back and talk more about this. Can you do that?

Debra: Looking forward to it.

Jim: Okay.

John: Well, donate as you can and, uh, get in touch with us, uh, request that book by Debra Are You Really Okay? All the details are at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast, or call 1-800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY. That’s 800-232-6459. And on behalf of Jim Daly and the entire team, thanks for joining us today for Focus on the Family. I’m John Fuller, inviting you back as we continue the conversation with Debra and once again help you and your family thrive in Christ.

 

 

 

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Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life (Part 1 of 2)

Jodie Berndt, best-selling author of the Praying the Scriptures book series, offers parents guidance for how they can more frequently and effectively pray for their children’s faith, wisdom, self-discipline, character, life purpose, and more. (Part 1 of 2)

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Amy Carroll explains how listeners can find freedom from self-imposed and unrealistic standards of perfection in a discussion based on her book, Breaking Up With Perfect: Kiss Perfection Goodbye and Embrace the Joy God Has in Store for You.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 1

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

How a Former Abortion Doctor Became Pro-Life

As an abortion doctor at Planned Parenthood, Dr. Patti Giebink believed she was helping women. Later, she began reading scripture and God gradually changed her heart on the abortion issue. Patti tells the story of her long journey from abortion doctor to pro-life and encourages listeners to share the message of life with compassion.

Headshot image of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Patti Giebink

Mrs. Patti Giebink

Dr. Patti Giebink is an OB-GYN who serves on the board of the Alpha Center, a well-known pregnancy center located in Sioux Falls, S.D. She also travels intermittently to work in mission hospitals in Pakistan and other countries. After completing her medical training, Dr. Giebink worked for Planned Parenthood from 1995-1997, during which she was the only abortion-provider in the state of South Dakota. She eventually experienced a radical change of heart on the issue of abortion after receiving God’s grace, forgiveness, and love, and she is now a passionate advocate for the pro-life movement.

Cover image of the book "Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life"

Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life

Unexpected Choice is told from the perspective of a doctor who actually performed abortions through Planned Parenthood. The book chronicles her journey from being a pro-choice physician to someone speaking on behalf of the pro-life movement.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 2

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

Cherishing Your Spouse Every Day

Do you love your spouse, or do you truly cherish them? Gary Thomas encourages couples to make a daily effort to go beyond the ‘duty’ of love, and combat the natural inclination to drift apart, by choosing to see the best in their spouse.

Mr. Gary Thomas

Gary Thomas is an international speaker and best-selling, award-winning author whose books include Married SexSacred Marriage and Sacred Parenting. He has also written numerous articles for several prominent national magazines. Gary and his wife, Lisa, reside in Texas and have three children. You can learn more about Gary by visiting his website, www.garythomas.com.

cherish front cover

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

“Most marriages survive by gritting teeth and holding on. But marriages can and will not only survive but thrive when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another.” Those are the powerful words of bestselling author Gary Thomas in his newest book–Cherish. And in a world desperate for marriage redemption, it is needed now more than ever. Thomas shows that although there are a countless number of marriages consisting of two people just going through the motions, there are real ways this pattern can be reversed: when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another in proven, loving, and everyday actions and words.

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Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

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Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

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Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 2

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

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Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder has spent more than four decades writing, counseling, speaking, and teaching. For nearly 25 years, he was Vice President of Student Personnel Services, Dean of Students, and a professor of pastoral counseling at Concordia Theological Seminary in Fort Wayne, Ind. He’s also led a successful counseling practice helping individuals, couples, and families to thrive in their lives and relationships.

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Simple Habits for Effective Parenting

Effective parenting is now within your grasp! With this inspiring how-to comprehensive book, achieve extraordinary results in raising a child to be self-assured, self-reliant, and responsible! You will be able to successfully lead and lovingly encourage your child toward a Godly life!

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Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff Cropped

Dr. Tim and Mrs. Noreen Muehlhoff

Dr. Tim Muehlhoff is a professor of communication at Biola University in La Mirada, California where he teaches classes in family communication, interpersonal communication, apologetics, gender, and conflict resolution.  Tim and his wife, Noreen, are both on staff with Biola’s Center for Marriage and Relationships  where he is a co-host of The Art of Relationship podcast. 

Defending Your Marriage

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Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

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Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 2

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

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Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 2

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Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

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Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage - Part 2

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Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 2

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

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Headshot of Kevin Thompson

Pastor Kevin Thompson

Kevin A. Thompson (MDiv, Beeson Divinity School) is lead pastor at Community Bible Church, a growing multi-site church with four locations in western Arkansas. Every year he meets with nearly one hundred couples with a range of needs, from pre-marital counseling to navigating the most serious betrayals. A marriage and parenting conference speaker, he and his wife, Jenny, have two children and live in Fort Smith, Arkansas. He blogs at kevinathompson.com.

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Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

With engaging stories and clear, simple language, pastor Kevin Thompson shows how to live out three distinct roles in marraige. Using solid biblical principles, he helps you and your spouse grow your friendship, be supportive partners through the good times and the bad, and develop a healthy and satisfying sex life.

Sharing Your Faith with Grace and Purpose

You can confidently and lovingly share your faith—you just need to learn some new tactics to do so! In this Focus on the Family Daily Broadcast, apologist Greg Koukl outlines the “Columbo” tactic of asking questions, the “self-defeating argument” tactic to find holes in your opponent’s arguments, and other specific methods for engaging in faith-building conversations with others. Greg pulls from his over 30 years of experience debating atheists and agnostics to help you share your faith with grace and truth.

Mr. Greg Koukl

Greg Koukl is a writer, public speaker and talk show host who’s spent 30 years advocating for and defending the Christian worldview. Greg has written or contributed to 15 books, including The Story of RealityTactics, and Precious Unborn Human Persons. Greg has published nearly 230 articles and has spoken on 80 college and university campuses in the U.S. and abroad.

Tactics front cover

Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition: A Game Plan for Discussing Your Christian Convictions

In a world increasingly indifferent to Christian truth, followers of Christ need to be equipped to communicate with those who do not speak their language or accept their source of authority. In Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition, Gregory Koukl demonstrates how to artfully regain control of conversations, keeping them moving forward in constructive ways through thoughtful diplomacy. You’ll learn how to stop challengers in their tracks and how to turn the tables on questions or provocative statements. Most important, you’ll learn how to get people thinking about Jesus.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 1

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Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Giving up Sugar, Tasting God's Goodness

As a latchkey kid, Wendy Speake turned to sugar for comfort. Every Friday, she would pedal to the candy show and use her allowance to fill her bag with candy. And one day, when she was older and a mom of three young boys, she came to realize that she was still “pedaling” away from her stress and using sugar as comfort, instead of turning to Jesus. She was joyless, worn out, tired, and in need of a change. In this interview, Wendy will challenge Christians to take 40 days to focus on fasting from something they turn to instead of Jesus for comfort. She invited people to break free from a dependence on sugar and taste the goodness of God.

Author Wendy Speake smiling as she holds up her book "The 40-Day Social Media Fast"

Mrs. Wendy Speake

With a background in Hollywood as a trained actress, Wendy Speake ministers to women as a bible teacher by applying the power of drama, poetry and comedy to the study of Scripture and real-life application of biblical truths. She has co-authored two books with Amber Lia titled Triggers: Exchanging Parents’ Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses and their latest, Parenting Scripts: When What You’re Saying Isn’t Working, Say Something New. Wendy is also the co-author (with Kelli Stuart) of Life Creative: Inspiration for Today’s Renaissance Mom.

Cover image of the book "The 40-Day Sugar Fast"

The 40-Day Sugar Fast: Where Physical Detox Meets Spiritual Transformation

Welcome to the 40-Day Sugar Fast, a fast that begins with us giving Jesus our sugar and ends with Jesus giving us himself–the only thing that can ever truly satisfy our soul’s deep hunger. On this 40-day journey you’ll learn how to stop fixating on food and other things you use to fill the voids in life and instead fix your eyes on Christ. Anyone who runs to sugar for comfort or a reward, who eats mindlessly or out of boredom, who feels physically and spiritually lethargic, or who struggles with self-control will discover here not only freedom from their cravings but an entirely new appetite for the good things God has for us.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 2

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 2

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

Reconciling Faith and Science in a Medical Crisis

Dr. Lee Warren is a neurosurgeon who has faced many heavy challenges in his life – from serving in the Iraq War to removing deadly brain tumors to experiencing the loss of a teenage son. He’ll share about his difficult quest to find answers to some of life’s toughest questions, while holding onto his faith in God and the sure hope of heaven

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. W. Lee Warren

Dr. Lee Warren

W. Lee Warren, M.D., is a brain surgeon , inventor, Iraq War veteran, and author of I’ve Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon’s Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know, winner of the Christian Book Award®. His previous book, No Place to Hide, was included on the 2015 U.S. Air Force Chief of Staff’s Recommended Reading List. Dr. Warren has appeared on The 700 Club and the CBS Evening News, and his writings have been featured in Guideposts magazine. His Dr. Lee Warren Podcast, which is heard in more than 60 countries, helps listeners use the power of neuroscience, faith, and common sense to change their lives.

Cover image of Dr. Lee Warren's book "I've Seen the End of You"

I've Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon's Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know

This gripping inspirational memoir grapples with the tension between faith and science—and between death and hope—as a seasoned neurosurgeon faces insurmountable odds and grief both in the office and at home.

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 1

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 1

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage Part 1

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 1

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 1

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

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Newest Release - Episode 1: The Truth About Life!

In this episode, we will tackle tough questions like, “When does life begin?” and “What does the Bible
say about Life?” You’ll discover and understand the stages of pre-born life and that babies are more than
just a clump of cells!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!