Sexuality

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Support for Parents of Child Who Says He's Gay

How do we cope with the emotional impact of our son's recent revelation that he considers himself gay? This whole thing has thrown me into an emotional tailspin; I find myself weeping, praying, raging, and blaming myself by turns. I can honestly say that I've never felt so bewildered and confused. We love our son, and we want him to know that we will never abandon him. At the same time, we're Christians who are convinced that homosexuality is out of step with God's design for human sexuality. As a result, we feel like we're being torn in two. How do we handle the pain?

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Responding to Teen Child Who Says He's Gay

What can we say to our teenage son who has just announced to us that he's gay? I'm devastated by this revelation. At some moments I'm so angry I could scream. Other times I just sit and cry. We love our son, but we don't want this kind of influence in our home (we have younger kids in the house). Should we try to fight it out with him? Or should we just accept his choice of lifestyle and proceed as if nothing has happened or changed?

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Responding to a "Gay Christian" in the Family

What should we say to our college-age son who claims to be a "gay Christian?" He believes God has told him that there's nothing wrong with homosexuality and that interpretations of the Bible to the contrary are in error. Worst of all, he's been sharing these ideas with his brother (who, by the way, is disgusted with him), and he wants to explain them to his younger siblings as well. At some moments I'm so angry I could scream. Other times I just sit and cry. We love our son, but we don't want this kind of influence in our home. What should we do?

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How to Talk to Your Children About Homosexuality

Can you give me some helpful tips on discussing the issue of homosexuality with my children? We have five kids ranging in age from preschool to adolescence. With gay relationships and same-sex marriage becoming increasingly prevalent and visible in our culture, it's a subject that's bound to come up sooner or later. I want to know how to respond most effectively when it does. Do you have any suggestions?

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Attending a Family Gathering Including a Same-Sex Couple

Should we attend a family gathering where a same-sex couple are planning to be present? My sister-in-law is currently married to her partner. We love both of these ladies but have made it clear that we don't support their lifestyle. There's a huge family reunion next summer and my husband wants us to go. I want to go too, but we have three children, and I don't know how it will affect them. What should I do?

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Scientific Support for Gender Distinctions

Is there any scientific support for gender distinctions? Within my circle of friends, the subject has often led to some pretty spirited and controversial discussions. Those who disagree with my perspective – namely, that men and women are different in some very basic and important ways – call me "sexist" and argue that my views are based on outdated social and cultural "constructs." They assert that there is no scientific basis whatsoever for the differences I perceive between males and females. Are they right about this?

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Sexual "Lust" in Marriage

Is there such a thing as "lust" in marriage? To put it another way, is it possible for me to behave "lustfully" towards my wife? What is the difference between natural sexual desire for one's spouse and "lusting" after her? What would "lust" look like in a marital context?

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Responding to Adult Child Who Says He's Gay

Can you help us figure out how to respond to our grown son who has just informed us that he's a homosexual? This announcement has turned our world upside down. Tears, depression, frustration, anger – they're all part of the kaleidoscope of emotions that I go through during the course of a day. We want our son to know that we still care about him and love him deeply. At the same time, we're convinced that homosexuality is inconsistent with God's design for human sexuality. Should we attempt to argue the point with him, or just let it go? He is, after all, a legal adult.

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Interacting With a Gay-Identified Friend

As a Christian, how should I relate to a gay-identified friend or family member? I have several relationships that involve this dynamic, including both non-Christians and those who claim to be followers of Christ. Any suggestions?

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Feminine "Preferences" and Male Sexual Identity

As a guy do you think it means I'm gay because I've always had a preference and appreciation for feminine and "girly" things? I've been this way since I was a small boy, I'm not sure what to make of this.

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God and Man As Male and Female: Implications for Gender Identity

If God is both genders - or contains both genders - shouldn't people be free to choose their own gender identity? Let me explain what I mean. Focus on the Family claims that its views on gender identity are based on a Scripture verse that says, "God created man in His own image" and then goes on to assert that this "image" includes both "male and female." Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't this mean that God is androgynous - male and female at the same time? If this is true, wouldn't it further suggest that human beings made "in His image" have the prerogative of being either male or female - or perhaps both male and female - according to personal preference?

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Gay-Identified Adult Child Living In Parents' Home

Can you help us figure out how to address the matter of our living arrangements with our grown son who is currently residing with us and who recently informed us that he's a homosexual? He now refers to himself as "gay," is beginning to tell other people about it, and seems to view homosexuality as permissible in his moral outlook. Needless to say, this evolving situation has turned our world upside down and thrown us into an emotional tailspin. Among the numerous things we are grappling with, one concern is a very thorny practical question: should we allow him to continue living in our home or not? We genuinely love our son, but we don't want to condone or endorse his lifestyle. What do you think we should do?

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Same-Sex Attractions and Sexual Identity

Does it mean I'm gay if I'm attracted to someone of the same sex? There have been times when I've experienced strong emotional connections with individuals of my own gender. On occasion I've even felt myself physically drawn to them. I'm confused and don't know what to think of this. Can you help me?

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Deciding Whether to Attend a Same-Sex Wedding

Should I attend the same-sex wedding of a family member? This is a dilemma I never dreamed I'd face, and I'm agonizing over the decision. I don't want to destroy a relationship or forfeit my opportunity to have a continuing positive influence in this person's life. At the same time, I can't help feeling that it would be wrong as a Christian to validate and celebrate what I regard as a sinful eventan event that grieves the heart of God. I'm not being judgmental; I just want to do what the Lord wants me to do. Can you help?

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Christian Single Experiencing Same-Sex Attraction Feels Stuck

As a Christian single adult who has never had an interest in the opposite sex or marriage, how do you suggest I move forward and live my life? I believe in the importance of marriage and in some ways I'm a perfect candidate – a twenty-something guy with a stable job and an earnest desire to serve the Lord. I've discovered though, to my own dismay, that I'm attracted exclusively to my own sex. I can't tell you how painful this has been for me. I know that homosexuality is a sin, and I feel terribly guilty about not fulfilling my role as a Christian husband and father. I could probably grit my teeth and force myself to marry a woman, but I'm pretty sure that this wouldn't be a good idea. What should I do?

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Gay Individual Feels Rejected by Christians

Why don't Christians care about homosexuals and their families? I came out as a lesbian about a year ago, and ever since that time my family won't have anything to do with me. Do you have any idea what it's like to go through that kind of rejection? Instead of helping people like me, Christian organizations like yours promote hatred against gays. They say that homosexuals undermine the institution of marriage and corrupt children. I don't understand. How would it hurt you if I were to marry the woman I love? Why don't you stop opposing same-sex marriage and start advocating against gay bullying? Does it make you happy to see homosexual teens being persecuted and taking their own lives?

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Does sex equal marriage in God's eyes?

When a couple has sex, aren't they essentially married in God's eyes? It seems to me that if the younger generation understood this and believed it, things would change fast. Dating as we know it would cease. Virgin women wouldn't dream of putting themselves in a compromising position with a man. A young man would be far more careful if he knew that the moment he crossed the line he was committed. Wouldn't you agree that this is the message we need to be communicating?

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Parent Wants to Help Teen Who Struggles With Pornography

As parents, how do we deal with an adolescent who may be addicted to hard-core pornography? We had a big argument the first time we caught him viewing sexually explicit material online, and he denied that it was a serious problem. But a few days later it happened again, and since then I've seen other signs that seem to indicate that he has a serious problem. Do you have any advice for us?

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Husband Wants to Use Porn to Spice up Sex Life With Wife

Is it okay to use pornography in marriage? As I understand it, there should be freedom in the sexual relationship between a husband and wife. Old-fashioned rules and inhibitions prevent couples from having satisfying sex. My point: I've asked my wife several times to let me bring some so-called "pornographic" material into our bedroom as a way of enhancing our love-making, but she won't have it. This is extremely frustrating. Am I being unreasonable?

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Man Uses Porn Because Wife Is Overweight

Is it reasonable for a husband to look for sexual stimulation in pornography if his wife doesn't care about her appearance and lets herself go? I'm in a miserable marriage. Since our wedding, my wife has put on a lot of weight and isn't concerned about doing anything to address the problem. I don't want to divorce her, but I still have sexual needs. Any ideas?

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Replacing Porn With Sexual Photos of Wife

Is it okay for a man to use sexually suggestive cell-phone photos of his wife as substitutes for illicit pornographic material? I'm in the process of recovering from a long-term addiction to pornography, and I thought this might help me get over the problem. What you do you think about my idea?

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Spouse May Be Involved With Pornography

What should I do if I believe that my spouse may be viewing obscene and sexually explicit material? I'm not 100 percent sure, but I've seen evidence to support my fears. He gets angry and defensive whenever I raise the subject and tells me I'm imagining things. Any advice?

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Woman Dating or Engaged to Man Addicted to Pornography

Should I continue a relationship with a man who seems to have a real problem with obscene and sexually explicit material? I've been dating him for some time now, and recently we've begun talking about engagement and marriage. On the whole he's a fantastic person, but I'm wondering whether his porn addiction is a red flag. Do you think we should move forward in our relationship?

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Helping a Spouse Overcome Addiction to Pornography

What can I do to help my spouse overcome his obsession with pornographic and sexually explicit material? All the signs indicate that he's addicted. I've been suspecting something like this for a long time, and now my fears have been confirmed: the other night I walked in and discovered him viewing hard-core porn on the Internet. He denies that it's a serious problem, but I disagree. What should I do?

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