Communication and Conflict

thoughtful concerned woman with man blurred in background

Article

Emotional Safety in a Troubled Marriage

Vicki Morgan

Taking responsibility for a better marriage begins by recognizing your need for help and then creating emotional safety in your relationship.

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illustration of mother wincing as boys run through kitchen with muddy shoes

Series

Women and Anger

Learning how to attack the issues without attacking the people you love can be a challenge. This series of articles can help you overcome anger and build stronger relationships.

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mom holding her head while kids go wild

Article

You're Driving Me Crazy

Sue Heimer

Being honest with myself and recognizing the destructive influence that screaming has on my children is the first step in changing this pattern of poor communication.

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illustration of mother wincing as boys run through kitchen with muddy shoes

Article

Women and Anger

Lysa TerKeurst

Learning how to attack the issues without attacking the people you love can be a challenge. If you've ever struggled with anger, Lysa Terkeurst offers a few insights that might help.

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frustrated husband and wife

Article

Unmet Expectations

Annie Chapman

By recognizing the true source of anger, you can create an environment in your marriage that allows for apology and restoration of the relationship.

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illustration of married couple arguing

Article

Learn to Fight Fair

Dr. Les Parrott with Dr. Leslie Parrott

If you cultivate a cooperative attitude with your spouse, you will save yourself a lot of grief. And you will have found the secret to fighting a good fight.

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Illustration of a couple walking away arm-in-arm from their objects of warfare: a pile of household items, each with an arrow shot into it

Article

Marriage Is a Battle . . . But Not Against Each Other

Greg Smalley

Every marriage has a mortal enemy, a mighty nemesis named selfishness. Dr. Greg Smalley offers insights on how to win the battle in your marriage without fighting each other.

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Wife and husband jogging together on wooded path

Article

The Husband Whisperer

Erin Smalley

Create a heart-to-heart connection, even when your man is reluctant.

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frustrated married couple

Article

Humility Makes a Difference in Marital Conflict

Greg Smalley

Pride leads to conflict in marriage, so what are you doing to nurture humility in your own heart?

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married couple praying before a holiday meal

Series

Giving Thanks Together

The holiday season is a perfect time to count your blessings and to offer thanksgiving to God. See if your heart change doesn't impact your mood, your relationships and your perspective.

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group of young adult friends talking in a kitchen

Article

Our Blessed Marriage Can Become a Blessing

Susie Larson

Have you and your spouse committed to giving God thanks on a regular basis? When we're grateful, we can more clearly see how rich we really are and we can be a blessing to others.

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married couple praying before a holiday meal

Article

Giving Thanks Together

Susie Larson

The holiday season is a perfect time to count your blessings and to offer thanksgiving to God. See if your heart change doesn't impact your mood, your relationships and your perspective.

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married couple separated by a wall

Article

Fight for Your Marriage When Your Spouse Is Emotionally Distant

Greg Smalley

When we feel threatened, we build emotional walls that don't allow our spouse into the deepest parts of our hearts and minds. The emotional distance can cause marital problems.

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husband, wife and child on a couch cheering for football

Article

Get Through This Year’s Football Season With Your Spouse

Greg Smalley

It's that time of year again — changing leaves and cooler temperatures. Football season is here. Does your spouse feel like a football widow?

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game pieces from Sorry

Article

When Your Apology Falls Flat

Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas

People have different apology languages just like they have different love languages. A person may apologize, but the apology is not perceived as sincere because it's spoken in a different language.

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wife and husband actively listening

Series

L.U.V.E. — A Five-step Communication Process for Conflict Resolution

A big step in your journey to healthy conflict is to communicate using the L.U.V.E. talk method. This is a five-step communication process that stands for Listen, Understand, Validate, Empathize (and Apologize).

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wife and husband resolve conflict

Article

Understanding is the Second Step to Conflict Resolution in L.U.V.E.

Greg Smalley

Instead of judging or ignoring your spouse's emotions, you have the opportunity to be curious about his or her feelings. Curiosity leads to understanding.

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wife and husband actively listening

Article

Listening is the First Step to Conflict Resolution in L.U.V.E.

Greg Smalley

True listening requires you to be fully present — clearly and intentionally focused on your spouse. Intent focus shows that your whole heart, soul, mind and body are present.

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husband and wife modeling validation

Article

Validation is the Third Step to Conflict Resolution in L.U.V.E.

Greg Smalley

Validation is safely allowing your spouse to share his or her thoughts and feelings. The message is that it's OK to think and feel the way he or she does.

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wife with hand on husband's heart modeling empathy

Article

Empathy is the Fourth Step to Conflict Resolution in L.U.V.E.

Greg Smalley

Empathy is more than feeling sorry that your spouse is burdened or troubled. Empathy takes place as you carry your spouse's burdens.

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young married couple embracing after an apology

Article

Apology is the Fifth Step to Conflict Resolution in L.U.V.E.

Greg Smalley

Forgiveness is vital in marriage. The key is to seek an apology after we truly understand our spouse's heart. Here's a four-part process to a sincere apology.

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Focus on the Family Broadcast

Episode

Arguing Well in Your Marriage

Dr. Scott Stanley offers couples practical advice on establishing patterns of healthy conflict in their marriage.

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wife and husband looking frustrated about communication

Article

How Birth Order Affects Your Marriage

Kevin Leman

Because of birth order, the place in their families of origin, spouses have different experiences growing up, and that shapes behavior, personalities and relationships with each other.

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