Get Over Yourself

By Phil Hodges
Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on pinterest
Share on print
Share on email
Pascal Campion

I had an EGO problem — with EGO standing for edging God out. I'd been promoting and protecting myself out of fear and pride, rather than focusing on God as my source of security and self-worth.

The righter she sounded, the madder I got. That’s the best way to describe what happened whenever my wife, Jane, and I spoke about the investment I’d poured our funds into. When the deal started to sour, I pressured Jane into committing more funds to try to save it.

Jane finally asked if I’d prayed about it. I hadn’t. You might say I had an EGO problem — with EGO standing for edging God out. I’d been promoting and protecting myself out of fear and pride, rather than focusing on God as my source of security and self-worth.

Trusting God

As the investment continued to fail, I felt defeated — and isolated from my family. Then I came across Philippians 4:6 — “In everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”

I realized God wanted to hear about my troubles, including my shaky investment. So I humbled myself and began talking to Him. My investment didn’t make a miraculous turnaround, but I regained my peace, and I learned a valuable lesson about trusting God.

Understanding pride and fear

What can we do about our EGO problem and the resulting bad decisions that can harm our families? Here are some suggestions:

Identify times when pride and fear are likely to pop up. Both can stem from comparison. For example, at a parent-teacher conference, you may find yourself fearing your child isn’t up to the level of other kids. Or you may find your child is a top student — inflating your pride. Instead of allowing emotions to take over, try going to the conference to learn and grow as a parent.

Take the “so that” test. How can you know if pride or fear is motivating your actions? Weigh decisions using the “so that” test to help identify motivations: “We’re considering private school so that we’ll be respected in our community” (pride); “We want him to do better on test scores so that we won’t look like failures to other parents” (fear).

Fathers and husbands who understand the roots of their pride and fear can move from a life that edges God out, to one that embraces the peace that comes from trusting Him.

Adapted from Lead Your Family Like Jesus by Ken Blanchard, Phil Hodges and Tricia Goyer, published by Focus on the Family and Tyndale House Publishers.

Copyright © 2013 by The Center for Faithwalk Leadership/Lead Like Jesus. Used by Permission. From the Focus on the Family website at FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Learn How to Cherish your Spouse and Have a Deeper Connection

Do you cherish your spouse? Couples who cherish each other understand that God created everyone different, and as a result they treasure the unique characteristics in their spouse. We want to help you do just that. Start the free five-part video course called, “Cherish Your Spouse”, and gain a deeper level of connection with your spouse.

Book Cover: Aftershock A Plan for Recovery

Aftershock: Overcoming His Secret Life with Pornography: A Plan for Recovery

This book is for women who have discovered their husband’s struggle with pornography and other sexual infidelities. Based on biblical principles and psychologically sound advice, Aftershock is designed to help women heal, grow, and receive restoration for themselves, their husbands, and their marriages.
Share:
Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on pinterest
Share on print
Share on email

How useful was this article?

Click or Tap on a star to rate it!

Average Rating: 0 / 5

We are sorry that this was not useful for you!

Help us to improve.

Tell us how we can improve this article.

About the Author

You May Also Like

Focus on the Family President Jim Daly shares about asking his kids to grade his parenting. When done right, this can be a meaningful and growing experience for you and your kids.
Attachment & Bonding

Go Ahead – Let Your Kids Grade Your Parenting

Focus on the Family President Jim Daly shares about asking his kids to grade his parenting. When done right, this can be a meaningful and growing experience for you and your kids.

Insert CTA Content in New Section Below