What Fear Robs From Your Marriage

Illustration of a married couple holding hands
Lena Podesta

My family was buried under a heap of medical debt, and my husband's new job opportunity seemed the only option for our financial survival. So we decided to move. My husband was ready for the challenge. Even our three little boys squealed with excitement as we packed our things. They all anticipated a great adventure, like camping in the wilderness. But I was afraid. We were about to move hundreds of miles away from everything I knew.

Fear upstages joy

Someone once said that a known captivity is more comfortable than an unknown freedom. Was I captive to this feeling of fear? I sat down with my Bible and read the familiar passage from Psalm 27:1, "The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?"

My husband, Kevin, and I both knew that God was leading us to make this move. But my fear upstaged my joy. I pulled on Kevin. Begged him to assure me that everything would be OK. He was ready to step out in faith; I was ready to climb into a hole. He tried to be patient with me, but I could see it in his eyes: My fear was taking a toll on him. Instead of being united in purpose, we were divided by my fear.

Looking back on that time of transition, I realize that we eventually came together and found God to be faithful every step of the way. Now I have to wonder, how many "joy moments" have I allowed fear to steal from me? From us?

God will deliver

All these years later, God still reminds me that Kevin is not my source of security — He is. I've come to learn that I'm more able to truly love and enjoy my husband when I find my hope in God.

Have you struggled with recurring fears? Fear of rejection, fear of financial troubles or fear of the future? Persistent fear is a spiritual battle. Although our husbands can love and comfort us when life is hard, God alone is our deliverer. Read this powerful verse from Psalm 34: "I sought the LORD, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears."

Now consider the following tips to face your fears:

• Identify your fear — give it a name.

• Pinpoint how fear affects your marriage — ask your husband.

• Determine to overcome fear — it's a choice.

• Memorize Joshua 1:9 and read it aloud — faith comes by hearing.

• Pray for yourself — that you would become a woman of faith.

Pray for your husband — that he would be motivated by faith.

• Pray for your marriage — that it would be strengthened by faith.

Don't let fear have the last say. God cares about your fears, and He'll deliver you. Trusting Jesus can change your life and your marriage. 

Susie Larson is a radio talk-show host and author.

Focus on the Family has resources and counseling to help you and your family. You can contact us Monday through Friday from 6 a.m. to 8 p.m. (Mountain time) at: 855-771-HELP (4357) or help@FocusOnTheFamily.com.

A portion of this article appeared in the March/April 2014 issue of Focus on the Family's Thriving Family magazine. If you enjoyed this article, read more like it in Focus on the Family’s marriage and parenting magazine. Get it delivered to your home by subscribing for a gift of any amount.

Copyright © 2014 by Susie Larson. Used by permission. From the Focus on the Family website at FocusOnTheFamily.com.

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