Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
Everything changes once your kids fly from the nest. Suddenly, you’re left with nobody in the house but this person you married decades ago. You find yourself squinting at them. Are they the same person they were when you last checked? Are you? It’s time to find out. As fresh empty nesters, you have a unique opportunity to connect with your spouse spiritually on a level you didn’t have time for before.
Table of contents
- Are You Still Connected to Your Spouse after All This Time?
- How My Friends Connect Spiritually as Empty Nesters
- 1. Thank God for Every Season Together
- 2. Ask Your Spouse to Explore Deeper Spiritual Connections with You
- 3. Choose Activities that Draw You Close to God
- 4. Dream Together as Empty Nesters
- Your Spiritual Connection as Empty Nesters Is Special
Are You Still Connected to Your Spouse after All This Time?
Simply mentioning the term “empty nest” at a social gathering can spark a wide array of reactions. Some couples respond with utter glee because they’re looking forward to the newfound freedom of not having kids around on a daily basis. Others express grief, dreading the thought of being alone. They wonder, do my spouse and I even know each other anymore?
Lately I’ve been watching many of my friends enter into the empty-nest stage of marriage. I’ve been fascinated by how each couple has adapted.
Although it will be awhile before my husband, Greg, and I have an empty nest, I’m taking notes and learning from my girlfriends’ wisdom about what to do and what not to do.
How My Friends Connect Spiritually as Empty Nesters
I began asking my friends, “What’s your secret for staying connected with your husband?” Here are a few of their responses:
- “We joined a small group. Even though it is difficult for my husband to talk in the group, he is warming up to them.”
- “We started attending a new church that offered activities for couples in our season. We’ve made a bunch of new friends and have had more fun since the last [child] left [home].”
- “We have started using our quiet mornings to pray together for each of our kids, our friends, and each other. It has brought a new level of intimacy into our marriage.”
- “We discovered that we both desired to serve in some sort of role together — maybe leading a small group of younger couples. … Just praying together and asking God for leading has brought us closer together spiritually in this new season.”
So if you have an empty nest, consider the following tips on how to grow closer to your spouse and deepen your spiritual relationship:
1. Thank God for Every Season Together
Whether you entered the empty-nest season with joy, grief, or any other feeling, Scripture says to “give thanks in all circumstances” (1 Thessalonians 5:18). So thank God for this season — amid tears or squeals of delight. It will draw you closer to Him.
2. Ask Your Spouse to Explore Deeper Spiritual Connections with You
Try to understand your spouse’s attitude toward growing together spiritually during this season. Be willing to listen to his or her thoughts and ideas about how you could connect spiritually — even if those ideas are significantly different from yours. You’ll probably learn about yourself and your expectations, too.
Reconnected
3. Choose Activities that Draw You Close to God
Regardless of what your spouse desires in spiritual intimacy, what can you do to abide in Christ (John 15:5)? You and your spouse have a special opportunity to connect spiritually as empty nesters, so pursue activities that honor God together!
Your spouse may not join in, but you might influence him or her just by your choices. This doesn’t mean that your spouse will show up doing cheer flips with pompoms, though his or her enthusiasm might surprise you.
4. Dream Together as Empty Nesters
One of Greg’s and my favorite things to do is to dream together. God has placed individual desires in our hearts. However, we believe that the Lord can use our marriage and oneness to bless others.
As newlyweds, you more than likely spent a lot of time dreaming about your future together. But many couples stop doing this due to distraction, conflict, or disconnection.
Return to dreaming! Know why you are together and how you can draw others to Christ through your marriage. “Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will act” (Psalm 37:5). Maybe you desire to:
- minister to a young married couple or couples.
- serve on a mission trip.
- open your home to foster children or provide respite care for families who foster.
- give financially to a nonprofit.
Your Spiritual Connection as Empty Nesters Is Special
Each empty-nest marriage will look different when it comes to the couple’s spiritual connection with the Lord. Continue to seek Him together in a way that feels good to both of you, knowing that He has plans for you both individually and in your marriage.
