Living in a Shades-of-Grey World

illustration of woman reading a book
Laura Perez

Christians often hear about the wise woman in Proverbs 31, yet fail to recognize her counterpart, the wild woman in Proverbs 7. She is described as loud and persuasive — as well as young, married and religious.

You may wonder how her story is relevant to married women in the 21st century. In both time periods, she's a wife who heeds the counsel of the world, rather than following the ways of the Lord. Among other things, her story serves as a warning to 21st-century women who embrace the media messages of the day.

Have you considered the advertising industry's message that "hot" is in? Or noticed the rise in popularity of romance novels called "mommy porn"? The current message of the world surrounding us can be damaging if we buy into its pressures and perversions.

When Christian women explain to me that reading Fifty Shades of Grey helped their marriage, it tells me they don't have a healthy understanding of God's view of sex. They're missing a vision for the beauty and the glory of who God created them to be — women who, together with their husbands, live as an expression of God's cosmic love story.

If your own love story is not going well, don't fill that hole in your heart with any form of pornography or temporary enticement. The life of a Proverbs 7 woman is duplicitous, and her path leads to brokenness. A culture of erotica may encourage you to pursue fleeting happiness, but the Word of God says there is a blessing when we choose to love sacrificially.

God's plan for marriage includes authenticity, hope and redemption. Commit to spending time in the Word, avoiding deceitful cultural trends and keeping your eyes on the bigger joy and authentic intimacy that God intended for marriage and for life.

Mary Kassian is an internationally renowned speaker, a distinguished professor at Southern Baptist Seminary and the author of  Girls Gone Wise in a World Gone Wild.
This article first appeared in the March/April 2013 issue of Focus on the Family's Thriving Family magazine and was originally titled " "Living in a Shades-of-Grey World."
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Copyright © 2013 by Mary Kassian. Used by permission. From the Focus on the Family website at

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