Your Gift DOUBLES to Help Deliver Hope and Joy!

Will you become 1 of 583 donors needed today to save marriages and strengthen families this Christmas? Your gift will go twice as far to give families hope through trusted biblical resources!
583 donors still needed today! Choose the amount you’d like to give this holiday season!
$
Please enter a valid amount

Your Gift DOUBLES to Give Hope and Save Lives!

Will you become 1 of 56 donors needed today to save babies from abortion this Christmas? Your gift will go twice as far to give mothers and their babies hope in Christ.
56 donors still needed today! Choose the amount you’d like to give this holiday season!
$
Please enter a valid amount

Help Deliver Hope and Joy!

Your gift DOUBLES to save families this Christmas! Become 1 of 583 donors needed today!

Save Lives and Give Hope

Your gift DOUBLES to save lives this Christmas! Become 1 of 56 donors needed today!

HELP DELIVER HOPE AND JOY this Christmas!

Give families the biblical resources they need to thrive this Christmas season! Become 1 of 583 donors needed today!
Choose the amount you’d like to give
$
Please enter a valid amount

GIVE HOPE and SAVE LIVES
this Christmas!

Double your impact to save babies from abortion this Christmas season! Become 1 of 56 donors needed today!
Choose the amount you’d like to give
$
Please enter a valid amount

HELP DELIVER HOPE AND JOY this Christmas!

DOUBLE YOUR GIFT NOW! Become 1 of 583 donors needed today!

GIVE HOPE and SAVE LIVES
this Christmas!

DOUBLE YOUR GIFT NOW AND SAVE BABIES! Become 1 of 56 donors needed today!
Search

Home » Parenting » Protecting Children Online: Essential Conversations Every Parent Must Have

Protecting Children Online: Essential Conversations Every Parent Must Have

Do you know who your children are interacting with online?

Protecting Children Online: Jennifer’s Story

Jennifer’s son “met” a new friend while playing a video game on Xbox Live. I’m using the word “met” loosely because they didn’t meet face to face but in a virtual world, like millions of young people do each day, dialoguing with one another through game-speak.

The problem? Protecting children online is crucial because kids often don’t know who they’re really talking to. Such was the case with this young teen. But the two kept gaming together, and when this “friend” said, “I’d like to send you some money so you can upgrade your game system — what’s your address?” the young teen didn’t think twice about giving it.

Jennifer asked me, “What should we do?”

“Call the police,” I said without hesitation. “And lock your doors.”

Within 24 hours, their police department, which had a special unit for these situations, figured out that the “friend” wasn’t a fellow teenager and was in fact contacting their son from the home of a convicted pedophile.

Understanding Who Your Kids Talk To

Do you know who your kids are talking to? Sadly, many parents don’t because they don’t really know what their kids are doing on their mobile and gaming devices. Yes, it’s hard to keep up. But that doesn’t give anyone the license to give up.

You don’t have to become a media expert or put software on your kids’ phones to track their every move. But one thing you should do is the one thing every researcher and pediatrician agrees on: Talk to your children about the issue.

Four Critical Conversations to Have

Pictures They’re Posting

It happens all too often. Boy pressures girl to send a compromising picture. Girl sends picture. Boy and girl eventually break up. Boy sends picture to everyone he knows, along with derogatory comments. Girl is devastated.

Young people are often unaware of the permanence of their texts, posts, and chats. Perhaps they use an app that brags, “The pictures disappear,” and they interpret that as “no consequences.” It doesn’t take long for them to discover that a simple screenshot by anyone who views their picture transforms “temporary” into “permanent with consequences.”

Parents need to help their kids understand: Protecting children online means teaching them that nothing you post is temporary. So don’t post or send anything you don’t want your principal, grandma, or future employer seeing.

Their Privacy Settings

Whenever I’m addressing young people, I ask them, “Do you really know who is looking at your posts?”

Most young people don’t spend a lot of time considering their privacy settings — who sees their pictures, posts, and locations. They just quickly click agree 27 times so they can begin exchanging pictures. And some creepy, naked guy staring at a glowing screen loves that these kids didn’t pay attention to those details because now he can look at the pictures your daughter just posted of last Friday’s slumber party with her friends.

And if you don’t like the fact that I just mentioned he was naked — good! I hope that makes you uncomfortable — because this guy is a reality. Creeps like him get caught following minors all the time because too many young people make it easy for them.

To aid in protecting children online, help your kids take a few minutes to check their privacy settings so they know who is peeking at them.

Comments They’re Making

Whoever first said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me,” was lying. Words are powerful.

Many young people today have learned how much words can hurt. But sadly, they don’t often take the time to think about how their own words will affect others once they hit send.

Teach your kids to pause before they post. Encourage them to ask, “How would I feel reading these words?” Teach them the principles of Ephesians 4:29: “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

To help your kids determine whether a post would be appropriate, you might recommend they ask a few questions: Would my parents and grandparents approve of this post? Would someone find something here to hold against me? Does this put me or anyone else in danger? Is it escalating a bad situation instead of offering grace and mercy? Would this post give a future employer a reason not to hire me?

As your kids ask these questions, they are learning empathy and how to be safe online.

Affirmation They’re Seeking

It’s fun to be liked. Actually, it’s addicting.

Recent research reveals that ongoing social media interaction often increases the production of oxytocin and dopamine — powerful neurochemicals in our brain. This same release of dopamine takes place when people eat, are sexually aroused, or do drugs. And like many of those activities, it’s addictive.

That’s one reason why young people become so devastated when no one “likes” the picture they posted of their cat Mittens actually wearing mittens. As fun as it is to be liked, it’s even less fun not to be liked — for kids and adults. A recent study showed that among 19- to 32-year-olds, those who checked social media most often were more than twice as likely to show signs of depression than those who checked social media in more moderate amounts. Social media can undermine self-esteem, emphasizing the importance of protecting children online.

Back in November of 2015, Australian teenager Essena O’Neill, with more than a half million followers on Instagram, quit the platform because she said it required “contrived perfection made to get attention.” O’Neill confessed how she would frequently revisit her posts to see how many people liked them. She was always hungry for social media validation. After growing tired of this pressure to always appear pretty and witty, she quit social media to “focus on real-life projects.”

Help your kids understand that “likes” and “followers” don’t determine their worth. “Man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7). Affirm who they are on the inside — character, goals, and dreams — not only how they appear on the outside.

Whenever I talk with parents whose child has posted inappropriate pictures or engaged in a questionable online conversation, they can’t comprehend how their child could have done such a thing. Parents never think this will happen, so they don’t engage their kids in the necessary conversations.

Protecting Children’s Privacy Online

Have you had these conversations with your children? Remember that our kids won’t learn digital responsibility if we don’t teach them. And there is no better time to start than today.

For your teens’ safety, it’s a good idea to make sure their social media posts aren’t available for the whole world to see. Help your teens adjust the privacy settings on their phone and in each app they use:

  • Use the strictest privacy settings allowed by each app.
  • Be cautious when allowing apps to access information from other apps.
  • Don’t use the same password on multiple platforms or apps.
  • Use complete sentences as passwords, which are harder to crack.
  • Set social media platforms to share personal photos only with family or close friends.
  • Don’t let apps access your contacts or other information on your phone.

About the Author

Read More About:

You May Also Like

Flexible thinking is a valuable life skill for children. This little girl is leaning on a wall thinking deeply
Intentional Parenting

Raising Flexible Thinkers

Help your child cultivate flexible thinking as a valuable life skill