Honor Your Father and Mother

honor your father and mother

What does it mean to honor your father and mother? What does it look like to honor yourย parents? Do we ever stop honoring them? These are good questions. The Bible has evenย better answers!

What Does It Mean To Honor Your Father and Mother?

The Bible is clear about how we are to treat our parents. The fifth commandment says,ย โ€œHonor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that theย Lord your God is giving youโ€ (Exodus 20:12). This commandment, and the blessingย attached to it, are repeated throughout the old and new testaments.ย 

But what does it mean to โ€œhonor thy father and mother?โ€ Theย Oxford English Dictionaryย says honor means โ€œto regard with great respect or high esteem.โ€ It also describes honor asย โ€œsomething regarded as a rare opportunity and bringing pride and pleasure; a privilege.โ€ย Both of these describe what it means to honor your parents.ย 

So, when honoring our parents, itโ€™s essential that we show them respect, accept theirย authority, obey them, and appreciate them.

Why Is It Important to Honor Our Parents?

Jesus said: โ€œIf you want to enter life, keep the commandmentsโ€ฆ Honor your father andย mother and love your neighbor as yourselfโ€ (Matthew 19:17,19). He also said inย Matthew 15:4, โ€œFor God commanded, โ€˜Honor your father and your mother,โ€™ and,ย โ€˜Whoever reviles his father or mother must surely die.โ€ย 

Proverbs 30:17ย says, โ€œThe eye that mocks a father and scorns to obey a mother will beย plucked out by the ravens of the valley and eaten by the vultures.โ€ย 

These are some scary consequences for not honoring your parents! But why is this such aย serious issue?

Why Does God Want Us to Honor Our Parents?

First of all, God is invested in relationships. He desired a relationship with each of us. Toย illustrate the structure of the relationship,ย He created the family. The way we respect ourย parents says a lot about how we show respect to God. Honoring our father and ourย mother teaches us how to honor our Heavenly Father better.

Remember that others are observing the way you honor your parents and God. Yourย siblings and friends will learn from your example. And someday, when you are a parent,ย your children will learn how to treat you by watching how you treat their grandparents.ย 

Not only is respect for our parents important in showing respect to God, but it alsoย teaches us respect for authority. Tim Keller says, โ€œItโ€™s respect for your parents that is theย basis for every other kind of respect and every other kind of authority.โ€ Honoring ourย father and mother teaches us that God has placed people in authority over us. Honoringย them also teaches us how to respect that authority and be respected by those we haveย authority over.ย 

Most importantly, showing honor to our parents demonstrates the love of Christ. Itย creates strong bonds in our families, can heal broken relationships, and helps us grow asย Christians. Honoring your father and your mother can be an incredible opportunity toย share the love of God.

Do We Ever Stop Honoring Our Parents?

Your relationship with your parents will change as you get older. How is yourย relationship with your parents different now than when you were a child? An infant?ย What will your relationship be like when you become an adult?ย 

As both you and your parents grow older, youโ€™ll find that you have the privilege of caringย and providing for them. Paul wrote to Timothy, โ€œBut if anyone does not provide for hisย relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and isย worse than an unbelieverโ€ (1 Timothy 5:8).ย 

Even as we grow into adulthood, we never stop honoring our parents.ย 

“What If My Parents Don’t Deserve Honor?”

Parents are meant to love, protect, instruct, and discipline their children. Paul wrote inย Ephesians 6:4, โ€œFathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in theย discipline and instruction of the Lord.โ€ย 

Unfortunately, the reality is that not all parents treat their children well. Sometimes aย parentโ€™s behavior can be unhealthy and harmful to their kids. The Bible instructs us toย honor our parents, but it does not command us to stay in harmโ€™s way. If you or anotherย teen that you know is facing abusive or dangerous situations, get help right away. Call aย counselor if you need help navigating the relationship with your parents. If you are inย immediate physical danger, call 911.ย 

If your parents behave in hurtful ways, do you still have to show them honor? The Bibleย says yes. But how can you do that?ย 

First,ย forgive them. Jesus said forgiveness wouldnโ€™t be easy. Peter asked Jesus, โ€œLord,ย how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?โ€ย Jesus said to him, โ€œI do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven timesโ€ (Matthewย 18:21-22). Paul tells us inย Ephesians 4:32, โ€œBe kind to one another, tenderhearted,ย forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.โ€ย 

Second, pray for your parents and ask the Holy Spirit to help you speak well of them. Third, demonstrate to your parents what healthy love looksย like. Show themย the love of Christ. And lastly, as you grow into adulthood, endeavor toย be the person or parent they werenโ€™t. Break the cycle of heartache and fill the cracks withย Godโ€™s love and restoration instead.ย 

What Does It Look Like To Honor Your Parents?

If you are looking for some practical ways to honor your father and mother, here is a list of 20 ideas to get you started. What other ways can you think of to honor your father and mother?

20 Ways To Honor Your Father and Mother

1. Tell Them You Love Them

A simple โ€œI love youโ€ can go a long way!

2. Show Appreciation

Let your parents know that you understand what they do for you and your family.

3. Do a Chore for Your Parents

If you can, choose one they dislike the most and do it without them knowing.

4. Show Love to Your Siblings

Make an effort to get to know and understand each other and get along as often as possible.

5. Plan a Family Game Night or Adventure

Your parents will appreciate your creativity and will be excited to spend time with you and the rest of your family.

6. Take an Interest in Their Hobbies

Show interest in something your parents love. Take the time to learn a new skill or do those activities with them.

7. Listen to Their Stories

Ask your parents to tell you about what life was like when they were a teenager.

8. Share Your Stories with Them

Communicate with your parents. Tell them about your day, dreams, struggles, and aspirations.

9. Ask Them for Their Opinion

Your parents have a lot of experience and wisdom to share. Asking for advice not only shows them that you value their insight but helps you grow as well.

10. Tell the Truth

Always be honest with your parents. This will build trust between you.

11. Don’t Talk Back

When you disagree with your parents or are feeling emotional, itโ€™s easy to be disrespectful. Make a conscious effort to control your words and body language, and be respectful.

12. Speak Well of Your Parents

Whether in public or private, make sure to keep your parents in high esteem by the things you say about them. Honor your father and mother by only speaking highly of them.

13. Ask About Their Day

Take an interest in the events that happened to your parents that day. If there was an important event, remember to ask them about it.

14. Organize a Family Bible Study

Independently or with your siblings, organize a Bible study with your family. Make it full of worship, prayer, and reading the Word together.

15. Research Your Geneology

Investigating your familyโ€™s history with your parents can be an excellent way to learn about your relatives and unearth some incredible family stories.

16. Compliment Your Parents

Give your parents a sincere compliment, and be sure to tell them often that they are doing a good job.

17. Serve Others with Them

Serving others might include going grocery shopping, shoveling snow, doing yard work, or putting together a care package to show love to others.

18. Be Aware of Your Reactions

When you feel frustrated, angry, and emotional, itโ€™s so easy to react strongly. Stay aware of your tone of voice, volume, and actions when you feel this way. Try to behave in calm and respectful ways when you disagree with your parents.

19. Be Teachable

Ask your parents to teach you a new skill or hobby. When they offer you advice, be intentional about learning from their stories.

20. Plan Time with Your Parents

Schedule time on the calendar to spend one-on-one with your dad or your mom. Put the phones and devices away and use that time to get to know each other, share a few laughs, and encourage each other.

Further Reading

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Emerson Collins

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