Dear Teacher,
Prepare yourself to be amazed, stunned with disbelief.
For I’m about to share with you the story of a thief.
Last night I did my homework. I folded it real flat.
I shoved it in my pocket and figured that was that.
Assignments were completed, I’d finished every chore,
Then Mother pointed out my dirty laundry on the floor.
I gathered up some blue jeans, a stained and muddy shirt,
Several pairs of stinky socks and gym shorts caked with dirt.
I tossed them in the washer, and after they were clean,
I dumped them in the dryer—that thieving old machine!
I crawled right into bed, worn out from a long day.
I slept until the morning… then trouble came my way.
Opening the dryer, I saw the mound of clothes.
I started searching for some socks, when suddenly I froze.
I’m telling you the simple facts—I’m truly not a liar.
I heard a voice begin to speak from deep within the dryer!
“Hey,” the dryer said to me, “I think we need to talk.
I’m confiscating homework now along with matching socks.
We dryers, as you surely know, eat stockings with great vigor.
But I am bored with plain old socks. My appetite’s much bigger.
I gobbled up some money; three dimes to be precise.
A rubber band, two cotton balls, a pebble that looks nice.
I’ve several tubes of lip balm, a shiny silver locket,
And now I have your homework. You left it in your pocket!”
I argued with the dryer, dear teacher, yes it’s true.
I tried hard to convince it the homework was for you.
I groveled and I pleaded, I offered a reward.
That dryer simply would not budge—my begging was ignored.
So as you see, I’m blameless. My homework has been snatched.
But on the bright side of this mess, my socks are nicely matched!
I know you’re understanding, a sympathetic soul.
Surely you’ll give me credit for what the dryer stole.
Sincerely,
Max
Dear Max,
I understand your problem, and I’m sure you’re not a liar.
I’ve also had some items go missing in the dryer.
Still, that’s no excuse for leaving homework in your pants.
You’ll have to do it over—I’ll give you one more chance.
And here is good advice from someone who is older.
I think that in the future you should use a homework folder.
Sincerely,
Your Teacher
