“Throw in the pickle and a spork, and this huge watermelon slice is yours!”
That may sound like a strange sentence… unless you’ve been to my cafeteria. Lunch at my school is not just about loading up on carbs and protein. It’s also a great time to work on your business skills.
We all start by dumping our lunches onto the table. Then the trading begins.
“I’ve got a deviled egg. Who wants to trade?” someone starts.
“I’ve got peanut butter crackers and an orange,” another kid might say. “Throw in that Twinkie, and it’s a deal.”
Then we all laugh, because a Twinkie is the $100 bill of lunchroom trades.
I love swapping lunches because you never know what you’re going to get. One day I started with a tuna sandwich and a bag of chips and ended up eating sushi and a cupcake. I know, I’m really good at this.
However, this week Mom was out of town visiting family. That put Dad in charge.
Dad packs my lunch using “the hunting method.” He hunts around for whatever looks or even smells healthy. Yesterday, I got three olives, an avocado and a half-eaten banana. (I guess Dad got hungry while he was packing my lunch.) He also included what was supposed to be milk but had turned into stinky cottage cheese.
“Anyone want to trade?” I asked nervously.
“I’ll give you my apple if you take that stuff outside,” Clay said, holding his nose.
Today was the strangest lunch yet. I opened my bag and found a rock and a bottle of water. The rock had a note on it: “Nothing smelled safe. Sorry.”
I couldn’t believe it. I had nothing to eat and, more importantly, nothing to trade!
When kids at my school forget their lunch, the cafeteria ladies give them a free cheese sandwich. Rumor has it, the school used to be a cheese factory in the 1800s. Evidently, some of the old cheese is still left. For the bread, I think they use the cardboard boxes the cheese came in. It’s nasty, but I had to eat something.
I stood up and slowly walked to the back of the lunch line. That’s when my dad burst through the door, holding a sack from Fat Larry’s Burgers.
“Hungry?” he asked. “Mom gets home tomorrow, so I thought I’d make the last lunch something special.”
We sat down. He pulled out a hot, juicy burger and fries. Kids came out of nowhere offering their yummiest snacks.
“No trades today!” I said between bites. I didn’t think lunch could get any better. Then Dad tossed me two Twinkies! Looks like I’m back in business.
