Opening:
John Fuller:ย Today on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly, we’re going to take a look at teamwork in marriage. I wonder, what does that look like in your relationship? Now, maybe you can resonate with some of these comments:
Teaser:
Man:ย It is very important to function on a team when making decisions when youโre married. Itโs your partner.
Woman:ย Yeah.
Man:ย You canโt do without them. Thereโs no point in doing it without them. If you try to do things alone at that point, whatโs โฆ what are you even in the relationship for?
Woman:ย Itโs really different. Um โฆ so heโ made me more organized and Iโve made him able to come to things like an opera taping.
Man:ย To be a team, I think a husband and wife needs to communicate. They need to be a team. You gotta โฆ thatโs your best friend. Thatโs your โฆ your everything and you need to preserve that relationship, that commitment … uh… because thatโs gonna be the strongest bond you have, you know, for the rest of your life.
End of Teaser
Jim Daly:ย John, I donโt know what marriage has to do with opera, but I am hoping that Jean never forces me to go to an opera. I know many of you like opera, but they say you either like it or you hate it. And uh โฆ today we do want to talk about teamwork, because it can be a challenge for couples to work as a team.ย Sometimes Jean and I do that well. Sometimes we donโt and Iโm lookinโ forward to learning more today about how to do that better. Um, we have gender differences. I hope everybodyโs aware of that. Weโve come out of the 70โs now where everybodyโs the same. We actually have MRI scans, you know, just like other medical technology, showing there are differences between males and females. I think these are God-given things and weโre gonna explore that today and better understand how we can each be, I think, more selfless in our relationship and put our spouse first. That does not come naturally, but itโs the way to have a successful marriage.
John:ย And to help us do that we have, Dr. Joshua Straub and his wife, Christi. Theyโve been here before talking about parenting, but today, obviously, the topic is marriage.
And Josh and Christi are going to share what theyโve learned through their own experiences and also what they have gleaned from counseling other couples.
They do a lot of speaking and writing about marriage and family, and they have a podcast called โFamous at Home.โ
Body:
Jim:ย ย Josh and Christi, welcome back to Focus on the Family.
Mrs. Christi Straub:ย Thanks for having us.
Dr. Joshua Straub:ย Thank you.
Jim:ย Itโs always fun to talk about other peopleโs marriages. (Laughter)
Christi:ย Right. (Laughter)
Jim:ย So, weโre gonna to that today. Youโre gonna โฆ youโre gonna tell us a bit about why marriage works and why marriage doesnโt work right, sometimes. In fact, you had an โah-haโ moment in your relationship. Hopefully most couples hit that point where theyโre learning. What was your โah-haโ moment?
Joshua:ย Itโs funny, uh. You know, we are counselors. We have counseling backgrounds and โฆ and education. But you can help other people when youโre the third party, but when youโre in it yourself and you realize uh โฆ whoa; wait a second here. Iโm not gettinโ what I teach other people. Iโm not even gettinโ it.ย And I had that moment. I was โฆI came in one day. I was out at a coffee shop. I was writing or I was doing something, but I was working from a coffee shop and it was right after we had our son, Landon, our firstborn.ย And I came home and I walked in and I was telling Christi all about my day and all the fun things that were going on. And I looked at her and now granted, to โฆ to kinda set the stage here, sheโs in sweatpants. She has no makeup on. Itโs the end of the day.
Jim:ย Iโm feelinโ uncomfortable here.
Joshua:ย And (Laughter) sheโs not โฆ
Jim:ย I โฆ Iโm feeling like saying, Josh, donโt go there! (Laughter) Pull back.
Joshua:ย And โฆ and sheโs like and โฆ and all of a sudden, I just get โฆ and she just looks at me and just, I mean, tears just well up in her eyes and she just starts crying. And she just says, โWhy donโt you ever ask me about me?โย And it was one of those moments where we had realized that our wedding vows, I mean, uh โฆ we wrote our wedding vows and I said, um โฆ I will fight for you and not with you. And her wedding vow back to me was, you are my teammate. You know, we love sports. We both played sports. We’re has beens, but we um โฆ but โฆ but we used that analogy in our marriage and here I was not even realizing it, working completely, playing completely out of a different locker room and part of that was because she was losing her identity.
Christi:ย But again โฆ but to your defense, Josh, I would say I didnโt even know how lost I was at that time. It really wasnโt until that day, that moment. I โฆ I remember it like it was yesterday. It was true. I was still in sweatpants, you know, hair in a ponytail, no makeup on, spackled in banana and sweet potato, โcause we were teaching our son how to eat solid foods.
Jim:ย And that is a word picture. (Laughter)
Christi:ย Right, but itโs like โฆlike vivid in my mind and he comes in the house, wafting like some delicious-smelling latte that he probably had and talking about all the great projects he had going on. And it was all this … all these exciting things and I was lost . And I think my exact words to you were, โWhy donโt you ever ask about my heart?โย But I didnโt know until that moment how lonely I was or really how lost I felt. But that was a huge moment for us and it kinda set the catalyst, I think, for us to start communicating in a very different way.
Jim:ย Christi, before you go further, Josh on that, so many women just leaned into what you were saying. You described probably literally millions of women that just heard you make that statement. Having that feeling, having that emotion, what was the first rung of the ladder that you could grab to say, okay, Iโm not gonna live in this despair?
Christi:ย Yeah.
Jim:ย What was that? What did you grab to say, help me get out of this pit?
Christi:ย And itโs so funny you use that analogy, because that is exactly how I felt. I describe it as the bottom rung of life. I just remember being there. We had very difficult kids and just babies that were just colicky and screaming and not sleeping. And I donโt think thatโs maybe a normal situation, but it doesnโt โฆ I donโt think it matters. When you get thrust into this, you have no idea what to expect. This is all brand new.ย And for me, it was the actual communicating. I โฆ I had to literally get to the place where I could put words to how helpless and how alone and I think how invisible I felt. And once I could finally put that into words, because I think thereโs so much shame that covers that, because we have so many dear friends who are struggling to have babies.ย I โฆ we โฆ we were able to. And this is a blessing, right? Like shouldnโt this be a blessing? You โฆ you shouldnโt complain about this. This is a gift. And also, shouldnโt this be natural? Shouldnโt you know how to be a mother? And I had no idea.
Jim:ย And so, Josh comes home.
Christi:ย Um-hmm…
Jim:ย Youโre the โฆ youโre the man of the moment. Youโre the expert, Josh. Did you know that? (Laughter) And what did Mr. Expert do here to say, โDa, da, da, da! Iโve arrived!โ
Joshua:ย Yeah and I mean, for me, so in the โฆ thereโs two things. Thereโs what I did and then whatโs going on in my brain. Uh โฆ what I did, because I had no โฆ this isnโt because Iโm like umโฆ I knew what I doing. I just didnโt know what else to do in the moment. I just held her and โฆ and just let her cry on my shoulder and I just .. I remember โฆ I remember very vividly where we were standing in the moment and just holding her and just saying, โLetโs figure this out.โย In the back of my brain Iโm going, โI gotta fix this thing.โ Itโs that man, that โฆ that male likeโ
Jim:ย You got two conversations going on. (Laughter)
Joshua:ย –yeah, right, so in the back of my brain Iโm going, okay, what do I gotta do to fix this to get my wife to be happy again, so that we can all be happy?ย But the reality was, I had to be โฆ it was important for me in that moment to realize, I had to be emotionally safe for her. I had to help her, as โฆ as one flesh, as her partner, as her teammate, I had to figure out a way to sit with her, โcause I knew I couldn’t fix this. This was something we had to fix together.
And I donโt even know that โfixโ is the right word. Itโs a journey we had to take together to help her rediscover her identity and โฆ and โฆ and figure out our identity as a family and how I support her and how I pursue her heart. We โฆ we get so focused on the Proverb that says, you know, โGuard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.โ
As teammates in marriage, we look at that verse and going, as one flesh, we have one heart in marriage. And how do we guard that heart? So, how am I gonna guard โฆ her heart is as connected to mine as mine is to hers. How do we guard our marital heart?
And therefore, I have to listen to her. I have to understand her. And to be very fair, itโs been a mutual โฆweโre talking something she went through. Sheโs done the exact same thing for me in a lot of great ways, as well.
Jim:ย Well, what youโre describing is that โฆ that move from โmeโ to โwe,โ which you highlight. Thatโs a beautiful explanation of it. And I think as married couples, we tend to vacillate doing that well at times and doing it not so well at times, moving from โmeโ to โwe.โ ย And everything in our flesh is pulling on us to be, hey, be all about you. (Laughing)
Christi:ย Exactly.
Jim:ย Forget the โwe.โ
Joshua:ย Well, and the culture does, too.
Jim:ย Yeah and the cul โฆ
Joshua:ย The culture tells us the same thing.
Jim:ย The sin of our flesh, I mean, the enemy of our soul. There are all those voices saying, โHey, this is about you. Youโre important. Why canโt she give a little more to what you need?โ and vice versa. Um โฆ but weโve gotta get to the โweโ page. Describe how you begin to move from that โmeโ to โwe.โ
Christi:ย Yeah, I โฆ can I โฆ and I can say I have another vivid memory. We were visiting my family. Iโm from Canada. We were there for Christmas and Josh looked at me and said, โI just want my wife back.โ
Jim:ย Huh.
Christi:ย And it wasnโt until that moment that I really realized I was gone. Like the me โฆ the me that used to be, even the me in like the โweโ we had cultivated before children was gone.
Jim:ย Huh.
Christi:ย And I โฆ Iโm not sure.
Jim:ย Did it scare you?
Christi:ย Yeah. Oh, my goodness. That was a really pivotal, I think, point. And thatโs where I think I started to cling to that ladder, like I have got to move up one rung. Like, I cannot stay in this place for my marriage. I canโt stay in this place for my kids or my family.ย And so, I think what โฆ I โฆ Iโve had to boil it down to three things and Iโll speak on behalf of myself and maybe women. I wonโt speak on behalf of men, but um โฆ I โฆ I feel like these are three things that have been really core into my coming back. And that was to be seen, to be known and to be invited.
Jim:ย Uh-hm.
Christi:ย And that works in community. That works in marriage, but I think that was one thing that Josh has done really well is, we started having conversations where it was recognizing that he sees me, right? Like he sees the โdailinessโ of heโs off doing these great exciting things and by the way, you know, just so happens to speak on marriage and parenting, which is awesome, right? And coming home to this wife whoโs like in shambles.
Jim:ย Gives you a certain amount of accountability.
Christi:ย Yeah (Laughter), right and um โฆ but itโs โฆ he said I โฆ I see you and I see what youโre sacrificing in our home. But also, I know you. So I want to know your heart. I want you to tell me those deeper things and that kind of led us into โฆ we started doing this thing of, we call it โ15 minutes,โ how 15 minutes saved our marriage. And I donโt know if you, Josh, want to talk a little bit of how we got into doing that, but I feel like those were the first rungs that we started to climb out.
Joshua:ย Yeah and I think as โฆ as youโre talkinโ, like itโs that, you know, you talk about how we go from โmeโ to โwe,โ that โmeโ to โweโ uhโฆwasโฆ began with listening. It began with โฆ with seeing and knowing her. But โฆ but thereโs a depth there that she couldnโt even use words to describe where she was at. So โฆ so for me to jump in and try to fix something or for me to try to figure it out was impossible because she couldnโt even โฆ so, it โฆ it โฆ it becomes a journey together of โฆ of discovering who we are and โฆ and how to grow closer to Jesus. Andโฆso one of โฆ we really focused. We talk a lot about emotional safety, and you know, for me, it was pursuing her heart. It โฆ I have to guard her heart, but therefore, I have to pursue it.
Josh: And so we started just taking โฆ took about how 15 minutes changed our marriage, we started taking, โcause atโฆ at the end of the day after the kids are down, youโre so exhausted that you just want to go your separate ways. You know, you might, you know, might turn Netflixโ
Jim:ย Recover it.
Joshua:ย –on. Yeah, itโs like (Laughter) that mindless activity. Itโs Netflix or Facebook or, you know, Instagram, whatever it is. Or maybe itโs going back to work. But we decided to say, hey, weโre gonna take 10 to 15 minutes at the end of every day and weโre gonna just โฆ weโre gonna focus on each other and weโre gonna use feeling words. Weโre not gonna talk about, you know, all these, you know, things that we have going on or weโre not gonna talk about kids, but weโre going to focus on feeling words. So, I felt angry when this happened today or โฆ
Jim:ย Can I โฆ โcause we โฆ we hear thisโ
Joshua:ย Yeah.
Jim:ย –and we talk about it. Let me hear the two of you go through an evening. We โฆ we wonโt take 15 minutes. Just give us a minute of what that picture conversation would look like. Just pick a time or pick a subject that we can eavesdrop in on your discussion on the couch at home. Kids are in bed. Youโre gettingโ together.
Christi:ย Yeah, well, even like, I mean, can โฆ we can go back to that day. And it was that very day where you walked in and I realized I โฆ you donโt see me. Why donโt you ask about me? And so, I think what our conversation ended up being that day was that I โฆ I need to know that Iโm valuable. Right and I need to know that Iโm (Whispering very low) doing a good job.
Joshua:ย And to go back, Iโm gonna go to one that was just last week. Because that whole โgood job,โ um …that, for me, I wouldnโt have known that. I have known.
Jim:ย Right.
Joshua:ย She does such a great job as a mom that I take that for granted.
Jim:ย You think she knows.
Joshua:ย I think she knows, so I donโt highlight those things. I donโt focus on those things. So, for me, now I can say to her in those evenings, uh โฆ I was grateful today when you helped Landon learn to draw, write his name.
Jim:ย So, something specific–
Christi:ย Yes.
Joshua:ย Something ve โฆ oh, you gottaโ
Jim:ย –which is important.
Joshua:ย –be very specific. So positive and โฆ and you know, you hear the five positives to every negative. We have to know our spouse and what they need to hear.ย Just the other night I โฆ to go to the negative, one โฆ we love the TV show, โThis Is Us.โ Uh โฆ and you know, itโs one of our shows that we watch at the end of the day. And we donโt double screen in our home. We have an electronic nuptial agreement in our marriage. We have an e-nup, so we know when weโre allowed to be on our phones and when weโre not, right?
Jim:ย I like that.
Joshua:ย And so, uh โฆ we just found that it helps with the technology conversation. But the other night we were watching โThis Is Usโ and for a moment, this โฆ itโs mindless activity, but itโs somethinโ we do together. Weโre present, but she happened to pick up her phone and there was a moment that was an awesome moment and we didnโt get to share it together because she was texting.
And I was a โฆ so, part of our 15 minutes that night after that was and โฆ and itโs become now โฆ itโs become so natural for us to have this conversation, that in that moment I was able to say, โIโm frustrated that you picked up your phone and we didnโt get to share that moment together.โ And of course, we rewo โฆ it was on DVR, so we rewound it and we watch โฆ we watched it. But I was able to say, โIโm frustrated that you were double screening. You broke our e-nup.โ But it โฆ and it frustrated me because I want to share this moment with you. I โฆ I wa โฆ
Jim:ย Right.
Joshua:ย I want to be with โฆ present with you and โฆ and so, it gets to the depth. It gets to the underlying motivation of โฆ of being on the same team and โฆ and desiring presence โฆ her presence with me.
Jim:ย Well, and part โฆ part and Christi, I just love your emotion. I mean, man again, itโs just like, uh. But part of me as โฆ as a man when I hear that, putting Jean in your placeโ
Christi:ย Yeah.
Jim:ย –if sheโs saying that to me, Iโm like traveling in first gear, maybe second gear, โcause Iโm thinkinโ of all these other things, you know–
Christi:ย Exactly.
Jim:ย –that I gotta do.
Christi:ย Yeah.
Jim:ย And all of a sudden, youโre in fourth gear.
Christi:ย Yeah.
Jim:ย And I donโt even know how to move into that gear.
Christi:ย Right.
Jim:ย And how โฆ how would you help husbands better understand when your wife is communicating like that, find fourth gear? Go there with her. I think a lot of times in marriages, we assume weโre just all truckinโ along fine and you know, you know youโre great, right? You know, youโre doinโ a great job, but you donโt.ย And then how โฆ how does a man, a husband, when he sees a clue like your tears, how can we go there with you? Whatโs the next right thing to say? โCause I think we get so fearful, we backup.
Christi:ย Exactly.
Jim:ย Weโre going, โUh, did you get the shopping done? Can I help with the dishes?โ
Christi:ย Exact โฆ oh andโ
Jim:ย What do we do?
Christi:ย –donโt we all want to avoid that, โcause itโs negative emotion, right. We donโt know what to do with that.
Jim:ย We want to avoid it.
Christi:ย And our culture โฆ our culture says, we just donโt do a very good job of sitting with one another in negative emotion and just being with one another. And I โฆ I would say, doing this15 minutes a day has really helped us, โcause I know it can sound super corny. It really can to say like, โusing your feeling words.โ I mean, that sounds, you know, but this has become something thatโs now more natural to us, so that I think it avoids some of those really emotional buildups that we get to the place where weโre bursting into tears and the husbandโs in first gear and the wifeโs in fourth gear and having no idea where sheโs coming from. So, this has really helped us sort of play offense a little bit, that weโre getting less of those.
But I would say for me, um โฆ when Iโm in those places of โฆ because I think, you know, just like for Jean, too, thereโs often things we just canโt put words to.
Jim:ย Right.
Christi:ย We need someone elseโs help and I would โฆ thatโs my teammate. I mean, thatโs Josh. Thatโs โฆ heโs โฆ heโs the one who walks closely beside me more than anyone else and I need him to help me put language to what Iโm experiencing.
And so, what weโve found too, is itโs helpful to even call out in the other person those things. โI notice when, you know, when youโre with Landon, um โฆ that you get really frustrated or you get โฆ you seem really exasperated like, what โฆ whatโs goinโ on there? Like whatโs โฆ?โ And itโs again, we do a very bad job of being aware of ourselves.
Jim:ย Well, and one of the things โฆ I appreciate that transparency, one of the things are the hurdles, especially with uh โฆ you know, having kids or having other thingsโhigh stress, vocation, whatever it might be–lots of travelโyou know, people listening, they have all these obstacles and I can even say that, you know, Jean and I could find it hard on some days to find 15 minutes to sit down together, because her pattern is at night when the dinnerโs done, weโve had a good time, we take a long time at dinner. Weโll spend 30, 45 minutes together around the table tellinโ stories, havingโ fun, laughing–
Christi:ย I love that.
Jim:ย –which is good.
Christi:ย Yeah.
Jim:ย But then itโs kick-in mode. Sheโs very task oriented so sheโs got her list in her mind and weโll go off and start doing other things and to get back together after the boys are down or whatever is hard sometimes. And it โฆ but it is what you need to do. How do you create the discipline, I guess is my long-winded way of asking? How do you get the discipline to be regular on this? Maybe itโs not gonna be every night, but three to five times a week where youโre connecting emotionally, intimately like this.
Christi:ย Exactly and I think itโs so much less legalistic than we think it has to be. Like this is โฆ what… what weโre โฆ we learned is to just start to integrate it so it becomes a natural part of your day, right. The natural part of your dance with one another and how um โฆ weโve learned and sometimes he โฆ he does travel a fair bit and so, that is a struggle for us. Especially for me, who as a wife and Josh works a lot with military wives and families, as well, uh โฆ who feel left at home, right? And itโs finding those times during the day. Often, weโre texting or โฆ or you know, calls during nap time or lunch time or while the kids are at school, things like that.
Joshua:ย And โฆ and we started it as the 10 to 15 minutes, because thatโs what we needed. We needed to make sure that we found that time to begin this level of conversation. And just as โฆ as Christi mentioned, you know, there are times where sh โฆ Iโm able to call out on her โฆ โYou seemed frustrated, but I noticed you were frustrated at โฆโ And she can do that to me. Itโs become such a natural part of our conversation.ย However, it takes time, because the natural โฆ our natural tendency is to defend ourselves. We feel attacked and for us, thatโs โฆ even thatโs been part of becoming teammates, better teammates, is communication. About the communication. Iโm not trying to attack you. What Iโm trying to do here is, I โฆ I want to get deeper into โฆ I donโt want you to be frustrated. I want you to be more present with our kids. I want you to be more present with me, like I desire. Itโs that โฆ that โฆ that our motivation is positive and that we have conversation about that, so that we see those motivations.
Jim:ย There is the couple, when you hear that you go, โHm, yeah, heโs right.โ And you can give way to that, โcause you know heโs right.ย Sometimes in marriage those idiosyncrasies, those moments where a little bit of a chip has been knocked off of your love rock (Laughter), if I could say it that way. And then you begin to respond with, โYeah, heโs right, but you know what? I didnโt like that anyway. Thatโs just not right.โ And then, bam! Youโre into a conversation, an aggressive conversation–
Christi:ย Ah-ha.
Jim:ย –where the edge is not so defined. Speak to that moment when a couple, youโre just irritated.
Christi:ย Yeah.
Jim:ย And you โฆ youโre tired of it. I โฆ you know, if I want to look at my phone, Iโm gonna look at my phone, okay, Josh? Are you okay with that?โ (Laughter)
Christi:ย I think thatโs probably how I responded (Laughter) that day. Iโm not pos โฆ (Laughter)
Joshua:ย Yeah, yeah.
Jim:ย But โฆ but speak to that moment where itโs not, โAh, youโre right. You got me. Iโm so sorry.โ
Christi:ย It is so seldom that.
Jim:ย Okay.
Christi:ย Itโs true. Yeah, it is most often โฆ I mean, that is our first instinct as humans, is it not? Defend ourselves.
Jim:ย It is the truth.
Christi:ย And youโre attacking me and Iโm gonna stand up for myself, darn it. (Laughing) And thatโs something that especially me, I will say with just personality wise, I โฆ I โm an โฆ I attack. I do and so โฆ
Jim:ย Youโre not unique in that.(Laughter)
Christi:ย Yeah and um โฆ Josh is more passive-aggressive. We can โฆ we know that about one another at least. Um โฆbut those are very difficult things. Weโve learned to, I guess, take a step back. What? What were you gonna say?
Joshua:ย I was just gonna say, itโs because if I am aggressive, I know what Iโm gonna get back, so I have to try to passively (Laughter) help her understand what sheโs not doing a good job at. (Laughter)
Jim:ย Well, and these things, these are good things to know each other.
Christi:ย Yeah.
Jim:ย Thatโs what weโre describing. I love the playfulness of this, because this โฆ if you can talk about it, youโre in a much better place. But itโs those years of erosion.
Christi:ย Right.
Jim:ย And when you can no longer laugh about your differences, where you canโt be โwe,โ Iโm gonna be โmeโ, thatโs why I think divorce courts are filled up, โcause we just run out of patience withโ
Christi:ย Yeah.
Jim:ย –with each other. If you think about it, if we had good communication skills, we had the long road in mind, that we want to end life together, I want to be there for you and I know you want to be there for me, isnโt that the most beautiful story?
Joshua:ย And what I โฆ what I love is, um โฆ you know, the only other covenant relationship apart from marriage is โฆ is the relationship that we have with our kids. And โฆ andโฆur โฆwhen youโre raising kids, youโre not getting mutual affection back and forth, right?
Jim:ย (Laughing) Definitely not in the teen years.
Joshua:ย Right, yeah or โฆ or the early years. (Laughter) I mean, youโre just pouring in and youโre pouring in and youโre pouring in, yet your love for them grows.
Jim:ย Yeah.
Joshua:ย You certainly donโt โฆthereโs moments you donโt like your kids, but your love continues to grow and it continues to grow. And I think the same thing in the context of marriage. When we press into some of those negative emotions and we call them out on the table, um โฆ and again, doing it sensitively but also being able to just say, โHey, Iโm feeling sadโ or โฆ but being able to use emotion and pressing in to those emotions, over time โฆ we might not like each other in certain moments, but when thatโs resolved, we know that that conflict when itโs resolved in โฆ in a healthy way, it builds intimacy over time.
Jim:ย Yes.
Joshua:ย And your love for that person deepens and thatโs a greater feeling than just liking somebody.
Jim:ย So true. And thatโs where you get to the โwe.โ Which is the whole point of the conversation today. This has been fantastic. I so appreciate your vulnerability in there and Christi, thanks for your tears about what โฆ when you said that, I felt it when you said, โI just want to be known.โ Um โฆ my heart went out to you and Iโm thinkinโ of Jean. You know, I could hear Jean easily saying that to me at different moments of our marriage, so thank you for expressing that.
And uh โฆ letโs face it, marriage is difficult. Um … human relationships are tough. Itโs been true since Adam and Eve and weโve gotta relax a little and want โฆ and desire to be โweโ instead of โme.โ But only the Spirit of God is gonna pull you in that direction. It will not be your flesh. Itโll not be your own nature and it certainly isnโt the nature of the enemy of our soul. He wants to divide usโ
Christi:ย Thatโs right.
Jim:ย –especially Christian marriages and Iโm grateful for you guys being here, talking about this today and I hope people have benefited today.
Closing:
John:ย Yeah, and I’ll add my thanks, Josh and Christi, for your vulnerability in …uh … sharing about your marriage story with us. It’s been so helpful.ย As a listener, you can contact us here at Focus on the Family for resources to help you become that “we” team, as a husband and wife. For example, we have a free download of the electronic nuptial agreement or the “e-nup” that the Straub’s mentioned. And then a book by our own Dr. Greg Smalley, and his wife, Erin. The title isย Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage: Twelve Secrets for a Life Long Romance. And you can request your copy of that and a CD of today’s program when you 800-the letter “A” – and the word FAMILY. Or stop byย focusonthefamily.com/radioย for those resources and the audio download, as well.
Jim:ย John, let me put a punch on that, because folks, this is what Focus on the Family does. We help restore marriages. That is a privilege to be there in the gap for you. Donโt feel that youโre so messed up that youโll be embarrassed calling us. Let us work with the Lord in helping you.
And that can take on a variety of impact. It could be a โฆ a resource, a tool, a book, but it could also be our Hope Restored program, a four-day intensive where you go and spend four hard days learning to better communicate. If youโre in that spot where youโre desperate, call us, as John has indicated. Donโt hold back. Itโs worth your investment.
John:ย Yeah. We’re here to rescue and strengthen marriages, but we need your help. And if you’ve benefited from a Focus program or resource in the past, let me invite you to pay it forward a bit by donating to the ministry today so we can encourage other families.
And when you make a generous financial gift of any amount today we’ll send a complimentary copy of that book by Greg and Erin Smalley,ย Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage, as our way of saying “Thank you.” Donate at https://www.focusonthefamily.com/radio or when you call 800-A-FAMILY.
Coming up next time on Focus on the Family- All Star baseball player Daryll Strawberry explains how God transformed his marriage from broken to healed.
On behalf of Jim Daly and the entire team, thanks for listening to Focus on the Family! Iโm John Fuller, inviting you back next time as we once again help you and your family thrive in Christ.
Teaser:
Mr. Daryl Strawberry:ย ย But I realized that โฆ and I kept seeing it and kept seeing it, and I realized that it was the joy of the Lord that had become her strength, and it wasn’t me anymore. And โฆ and that re. . .I really got jealous of that.โ
End of Teaser
โ









