Focus on the Family
Search

Juli Slattery

Dr. Juli Slattery is a clinical psychologist, author and the co-founder of Authentic Intimacy, a ministry dedicated to reclaiming God’s design for sexuality. In addition to speaking, she hosts the weekly podcast Java with Juli.  In 2020, Juli launched Sexual Discipleship®, an online platform to equip Christian leaders for gospel-centered conversations about sexual issues. Juli served at Focus on the Family from 2008 to 2012 as a writer, teacher and co-host of the Focus on the Family Broadcast. She’s the author of 12 books, including God, Sex, & Your Marriage; Rethinking Sexuality; and Sex & the Single Girl. She and her husband live in Akron, Ohio, and have three grown sons.

A woman sits in a dark hallway covering her face in shame in the glow of a computer screen. Wives addicted to pornography are not alone.

To Wives Addicted to Pornography: You Are Not Alone

Women aren’t supposed to struggle with porn, especially Christian women. But if you’re addicted to pornography, you’re not alone.

A young couple embrace each other in a cornfield. Masturbation in marriage might be problematic if it sabotages intimacy.

Is Self-Stimulation in Marriage Wrong?

Sexuality in marriage is a complex journey of intimacy. There are times when self-stimulation fosters this intimacy and times when it destroy its. Author Juli Slattery looks at the difference between the two instances.

Bucking the Entitlement Trend

Do your teens have unrealistic expectations of what they deserve? If so, you may be training them to feel entitled. Break habit parenting habit of giving them privileges without responsibility.

God does care about virginity. Here is a girl flirting

Why Should I Say “No” to Sex if I’m Not a Virgin?

When virginity is lost, you might be wondering, what’s the point of abstaining from sex?

Focus on the Family Broadcast logo

Learning to Dream Together

Do you and your spouse take the time to talk about your dreams for the future? This program features an episode of the new Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage podcast, hosted by Greg and Erin Smalley.

sexual behavior

Talking With Your Teen About Sexual Behavior

Learn how to approach awkward conversations about sexual behavior with your teen. Explore some tips and strategies for these conversations so you can prioritize your relationship over “getting it right.”

working moms sitting together smiling.

Working Moms Need Friends, Too

Mothers who work outside the home need friendships with other women.

Close-up of mom smiling as she's hugging her young son

The Myth of the Perfect Mother

Super mom, and all of her perfection is a complete myth. Being “good enough” in God’s eyes is real.

For Wives: How to Overcome a Pornography Addiction

The Christian life is a lifelong journey of surrender and becoming more like Christ. Apply that specifically to your struggle with pornography. What does it practically look like for you to surrender your sexuality to the Lordship of Jesus Christ?

Focus on the Family Broadcast logo

Best of 2022: Encouraging Your Husband to Be a Hero (Part 2 of 2)

In this best of 2022 broadcast, Dr. Juli Slattery describes a wife’s power to help her husband became the hero God has called him to be. She explores the core needs of men and women, corrects misconceptions about submission, and offers practical advice to help couples overcome barriers to physical intimacy.

Focus on the Family Broadcast logo

Best of 2022: Encouraging Your Husband to Be a Hero (Part 1 of 2)

In this best of 2022 broadcast, Dr. Juli Slattery describes a wife’s power to help her husband became the hero God has called him to be. She explores the core needs of men and women, corrects misconceptions about submission, and offers practical advice to help couples overcome barriers to physical intimacy.

Focus on the Family Broadcast logo

Rethinking Godly Sexuality in Your Marriage (Part 2 of 2)

Dr. Juli Slattery recognizes that many couples possess a poor foundation for understanding God’s design for intimacy — that our sexual relationship is a metaphor for the intimacy God longs to have with each one of us. Therefore, God is very interested in our sexuality and, in fact, designed sex for our pleasure. She encourages married couples to have “covenant love” rather than contractual love. (Part 2 of 2)

Focus on the Family Broadcast logo

Rethinking Godly Sexuality in Your Marriage (Part 1 of 2)

Dr. Juli Slattery recognizes that many couples possess a poor foundation for understanding God’s design for intimacy — that our sexual relationship is a metaphor for the intimacy God longs to have with each one of us. Therefore, God is very interested in our sexuality and, in fact, designed sex for our pleasure. She encourages married couples to have “covenant love” rather than contractual love. (Part 1 of 2)

unhappy-husband-and-wife-in-bed

Forget Duty Sex: What You Really ‘Owe’ Your Spouse

Getting stuck in a cycle of “duty sex” will sabotage true intimacy. Learn how to change that pattern and deepen your relationship.

Sad couple in bed. Your sexual backstory affects your sex life.

Your Sexual Backstory Affects Your Sex Life

Your sexual backstory is not just the things that happened to you in the past but how those experiences shaped how you think about sex.

Focus on the Family Broadcast logo

Encouraging Your Husband to Be a Hero (Part 2 of 2)

Dr. Juli Slattery describes a wife’s power to help her husband became the hero God has called him to be. She explores the core needs of men and women, corrects misconceptions about submission, and offers practical advice to help couples overcome barriers to physical intimacy. (Part 2 of 2)

Focus on the Family Broadcast logo

Encouraging Your Husband to Be a Hero (Part 1 of 2)

Dr. Juli Slattery describes a wife’s power to help her husband became the hero God has called him to be. She explores the core needs of men and women, corrects misconceptions about submission, and offers practical advice to help couples overcome barriers to physical intimacy. (Part 1 of 2)

Unhappy-married-couple-sitting-on-bed-not-facing-each-other

How Important Is Sex in a Relationship?

How important is sex in a relationship? To answer that question, you need to understand the difference between sexual activity and sexual intimacy.

Why I Care About Your Sex Life … And so Should You

Healthy sexual intimacy correlates with an overall strong relationship. But it’s about more than you and your spouse having a good time in bed. It is a central aspect of a holy metaphor.

Focus on the Family Broadcast

Equipping Christians to Understand Sexuality

Psychologist and author Dr. Juli Slattery explains how the Christian view of sex has been subtly and negatively influenced by our culture, and urges us all to gain a proper understanding of God’s design for sexuality, especially so that we can help bring about God’s restoration in the lives of non-believers who are struggling with the consequences of sexual brokenness.

Speaking Highly of Your Husband

A wife can talk about and treat her husband as either an incompetent dad or a wonderful father. Are you willing to frame your husband as a “hero” to your kids?

Drawing of a married couple under the covers

Sex Is a Creative Process

Most marriages experience some obstacle in physical intimacy. But the Lord asks you and me to view sex as a gift of creating. Just like a LEGO set, the joy is found in building.

‘Working Out’ My Faith

How might your walk with the Lord change if you took spiritual discipline seriously for 90 days? Your most important work, really your only work, is to be a worshiper and lover of the almighty God.

Java with Juli: Priorities in Marriage

Engaging in productive and even spiritual activities can ultimately take us away from the higher calling of being a wife. Here are three ways to keep your marriage a priority in during busy times.

Java With Juli: Love Your Husband by Loving Your Mother-in-Law

By building a good relationship with your husband’s mom, you can show your husband that you love him. Here are some ways you can reach out to your mother-in-law and create a peaceful family bond.

Java with Juli: Fighting Fair

All couples disagree at times — money, in-laws, sex, the laundry. Conflict seems to be a necessary evil in marriage. But did you know that how you fight is more important than what you fight about?

Close up of a smiling wife's face as she's hugging her husband with a Christmas tree in the background

Christmas Expectations

The best gift you can give each other is the gift of grace. Extending grace begins with prayer and intentionally communicating about your expectations, anxieties and hopes for this holiday season.

Happy, smiling, young wife tightly hugging her husband as they stand outside

Are You Looking for the Hero in Your Husband?

Wives have the power to frame husbands as either failures or as heroes. Every choice, every word, every response has the potential to build or to tear down.

Mom and dad playing with toddler in field

Torn Between Being a Wife & a Mom

Almost every married mom can relate to the dilemma of whether to spend time with the kids or time with her husband. There’s angst when they feel like they have to choose between those they love.

teens exposed to pornography

Teens Exposed to Pornography

Equip your teen to deal with the temptation and peer pressure related to pornography.

Healthy Cellphone Boundaries

Consider all the facts before you allow your kids to have a cellphone.

Focus on the Family Broadcast logo

Enjoying Intimacy as a Newlywed

Psychologist and author Dr. Juli Slattery offers advice to newlywed couples for overcoming and avoiding common challenges to sexual intimacy.

Optimistic Love

When you look at marriage from a new perspective, you can see the miracle of a spouse who knows you inside and out, yet still loves you. You can view imperfections as a priceless exhibition of God’s grace.

Baggage in the Bedroom

True healing occurs when sexual baggage is no longer ignored but is understood and integrated into the larger truths of who you are and who God is.

Artistic illustration of couple lying in bed, facing away from each other, suggesting marital troubles

Rekindling Intimacy

Sexual intimacy can be complicated. Most couples bring some kind of baggage into marriage. Reclaim and redeem the beautiful gift of sexual intimacy in your marriage.

Focus on the Family Broadcast logo

Exposing the Lure of Romance and Erotica (Part 2 of 2)

Dr. Juli Slattery and author Dannah Gresh talk about the cultural fascination with erotica that’s been largely spawned by the popular novel and now movie Fifty Shades of Grey and other sexually explicit media. Our guests explain why such material especially appeals to women, and the danger it poses to marriage and families. (Part 2 of 2) Listen to Part 1

Focus on the Family Broadcast logo

Exposing the Lure of Romance and Erotica (Part 1 of 2)

Dr. Juli Slattery and author Dannah Gresh talk about the cultural fascination with erotica that’s been largely spawned by the popular novel and now movie Fifty Shades of Grey and other sexually explicit media. Our guests explain why such material especially appeals to women, and the danger it poses to marriage and families. (Part 1 of 2) Listen to Part 2

Focus on the Family Broadcast logo

Pursuing Passion in Your Marriage (Part 2 of 2)

Psychologist Dr. Juli Slattery and author Linda Dillow address common questions women have about God’s design for sex and describe how wives can enjoy greater intimacy in their marriage. (Part 2 of 2)

Focus on the Family Broadcast logo

Pursuing Passion in Your Marriage (Part 1 of 2)

Psychologist Dr. Juli Slattery and author Linda Dillow address common questions women have about God’s design for sex and describe how wives can enjoy greater intimacy in their marriage. (Part 1 of 2)

A woman stands at the ocean with her arms open wide.

Finding Freedom from Erotica

How can you break free from the entrapment of erotica? Here are five steps.

Woman looking intensely over a black covered book.

Erotica, Women and Marriage

We may stereotypically think of sexual temptation as a man’s problem, but women are not immune to the lure of romance depicted in new and graphic forms of entertainment.

unhappy-couple-in-bed

Black and White vs. Shades of Grey

If God’s Word is clear about some basic black-and-white sexual issues, what’s a believer to do with the shades of grey that are redefining sex in our culture?

Focus on the Family Broadcast logo

Teaching Your Kids About Forgiveness

Jim Daly, Dr. Juli Slattery and John Fuller discuss age-appropriate methods to correctly model forgiveness and empathy to children.

Intimacy Requires Effort – and Creativity

Perhaps you have been surprised, even disappointed, to find that sex isn’t the ready-made gift you were anticipating. It takes a lot of effort – and a bit of creativity – to make it work.

Emotional and Relational Barriers to Sex

You cannot underestimate how injurious it can be for your husband to find himself unable to perform sexually or to become the victim of a nonexistent libido.

When Your Husband Isn’t Interested in Sex

Almost all marriages go through periods when the man has a lower sex drive than his wife. While these periods are disconcerting or frustrating, they pale in comparison to the pain and conflict caused when this is a couple’s consistent pattern of sexual intimacy.

What Is ‘Normal’ Sexual Desire?

Every couple has a unique sexual relationship. Accept yours for what it is and enjoy working toward wholeness as a couple. You can have a very fulfilling sex life even though you may not be functioning like the average married couple.

Sex Does Not Define Your Marriage

Friendship, seasoned love, and shared history are often enough to maintain a marriage in which sex is no longer possible.

The Impact of Pornography on Marital Sex

One of the devastating effects of pornography and other sexually explicit material is that it sabotages the ability to enjoy normal sex.

Black and white close up of man and woman face-to-face with their eyes closed and foreheads resting against one other

Intimacy Requires Vulnerability

For emotional intimacy to grow, each partner must be willing to meet the other’s deepest needs and protect the other’s greatest vulnerability.

A married couple kisses in the snow.

Great Sex Doesn’t Just Happen

Without effort, time and attention, sex can easily and quickly become mundane and predictable and can even turn into a dreaded necessity to place on the ‘to-do’ list.

Woman looking pensive with man in background looking sad and frustrated

Addressing Unmet Sexual Needs

One of the keys to growing beyond the frustration you now feel is learning to accept the many ways your husband is likely showing you love.

couple cuddle laugh smile in bed

Sex Is a Relational Need

The lack of regular sex is a significant barrier to emotional connectedness and intimacy for men.

Middle-aged-woman-smiling-at-her-older-husband-lying-in-bed

Men’s Sex Drive After 50: What Wives Need to Know

Your husband’s sex drive changes as he ages, and illness can also affect it. But an encouraging wife can make a big difference.

married-couple-in-bed-sex-and-intimacy

Intimacy and Sex: How Men and Women are Different — and Why

Couples often argue about sex, but they rarely talk about it. Try to talk and pray together about your sex life at least once a month to learn more.

A couple's bare feet poking out from under the covers

Developing a Healthy Sexual Relationship

If you want a deeply satisfying sex life, you must become a student of your spouse.