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Focus on the Family Broadcast

Developing Godly Character in Your Child

Developing Godly Character in Your Child

Korie Robertson, of A&E's TV show "Duck Dynasty," shares her heart for raising kids with strong, godly character as well as some fun family stories of the Robertson clan.

Opening:

Teaser:

Mrs. Korie Robertson:A lot of times on television, we see people who are good characters, but they’ve not necessary people of good character. And so, I think, sometimes our world kind of almost glamorizes good characters, but not necessarily people who have good character and have, you know, the character traits we talk about.

End of Teaser

John Fuller: That’s Korie Robertson and she’s with us today on “Focus on the Family” with Focus president and author, Jim Daly. Thanks for joining us. I’m John Fuller.

Jim Daly: John, many of us recognize Korie from A&E’s “Duck Dynasty,” you know, the Duck Commander crew. We’ve had Al and Lisa on the broadcast before and Korie has an amazing story, she and Willie, about family and the way they’re raising the kids and we’re gonna talk about that today, because we want you as a parent, to be as equipped as you can be with wonderful examples of raising children who are strong in the faith. And we’re gonna talk about Willie and Korie’s approach to parenting today.

John: And Korie keeps a busy household running and she, in addition to the TV appearances and all the family obligations, speaks and writes. And she’s got a book called Strong and Kind and Other Important Character Traits Your Child Needs to Succeed [FYI Tradebook:Strong and Kind: Raising Kids of Character].

Body:

Jim: Korie, welcome to “Focus on the Family.

Korie: Thank you. I’m so happy to be here.

Jim: Now we have watched “Duck Dynasty.” I’ve said this when Al and Lisa were on the program. The boys tuned in with it. I think they picked up a couple of the DVDs at Walmart and we started to watch it.

Korie: Yes.

Jim: We got addicted. It’s like eatin’ cotton (Laughter) candy. (Laughter) It’s so funny and you guys as a family are so entertaining.

Korie: And you know, so I married into the family. I was 18 (Laughter) when I married into the family and so, I could kind of still, you know, I’ve been in the family for 25 years, but I can still kinda see it from a distance. So, I told Willie before the show, I was like, “Your family’s not normal.” Like (Laughter) I think this could work, you know.

And yeah, whenever all of them are like, I don’t know who’s gonna watch us. What’s so interesting about us? I was like, “Y’all aren’t normal. This will be interesting. Uncle Si, for one. I mean (Laughter), just put him on the air.

Jim: Well, if you’re a normal-thinkin’ person and you married into that family, it’s gotta be hilarious havin’ squirrels for dinner. (Laughter)

Korie: Yes, now I did grow up in Louisiana, so my granddad did teach me how to skin a squirrel as a little kid

Jim: That’s just what you do in Louisiana.

Korie: So, that’s Louisiana, yeah. Now I don’t eat the brains, okay. Kay eats the squirrel brains. I leave those to Kay.

Jim: Okay, now all the vegetarians listening, including my wife are going, “What!?”

Korie: Yeah.

Jim: But you know, let me ask you though, it is kinda funny. It’s not that unusual for families to be different. I mean, every family’s a little different.

Korie: That’s right.

Jim: And it’s humorous in some ways, but it’s normal in some ways, too, isn’t it?

Korie: And I think that was kind of like what happened with our show. I think that A&E and you know, Hollywood, they thought people were gonna watch our show and be like, “Whoa! It’s so weird. You eat squirrel” and you, you know, you hunt ducks and all the weird things about our family or whatever that make us unique.

But really people related to our family. They watched and they were like, oh, just like me and my brothers. We argue about stupid things. But at the end of the day, we sit down and you know, forgive one another and sit down at the dinner table. So, I think people related to it in a way that nobody really expected, you know.

Jim: Right, let’s talk about your kids though, ’cause some people don’t even know “Duck ‘Dynasty” who are listening. Describe your family, you and Willie. How did you meet? How long ago? I think you just celebrated your 25th anniversary, right?

Korie: Twenty-fifth, yes. And actually last year we thought it was our 25th, which (Laughter) was, you know, I guess it’s what happens when you’ve been married that long.

John: Felt like 25, year.

Korie: Yeah and so, at some point, somehow like he was like, “Oh, this is [the] 25th.” And I was like, “Oh, yeah.” We took a trip to Colorado. It was like awesome and then we realized it was our 24th. (Laughter) So, we celebrated 25 two years in a row.

Jim: I think it’s a good thing.

Korie: That’s right, yeah, it’s not so bad. But yeah, we were 18 and 19 when we got married. We were very young and of course, my parents about had a fit. They were like, what in the world? Which they got married at 18 and 19, too, so they couldn’t really say a whole lot. (Laughter)

Jim: Did you remind them of that?

Korie: Exactly, yes, I did. But yeah and it’s just been, you know, a crazy ride, 25 years. We grew up together, got married and went to college. We got married on Saturday, started college on Monday and have just grown up together and we have six children now, plus.

Jim: Wow, yeah, talk about that.

Korie: Okay. So, Rebecca’s our oldest and she’s 28. Now she came to us when she was 16 as an exchange student from Taiwan, did not speak a word of English. I thought, oh, no, I’ve got like four little kids, like 2 to 6 and now I’ve got a 16-year-old that doesn’t speak English; what am I gonna do?

But we survived that first year and just fell in love with her and invited her back for her senior year. She came her senior year and it was somewhere in there that we just realized, I remember tellin’ somebody that I had four kids and one of my little ones said, “No, you don’t; you have five.” And Rebecca just became one of ours.

Jim: That’s amazing and the whole complication of trying to adopt from a foreign country.

Korie: Yes, so we have not officially adopted her. She just kind of has become ours.

Jim: She is part of the family.

Korie: That’s right. She has a mom in Taiwan.

Jim: And she lives with you.

Korie: Well, she’s married now. She got married in December (2016), but she has a mom in Taiwan. Her dad passed away when she was 11, but her mom has come to see her a couple times and she goes back to Taiwan sometimes.

Jim: That’s something.

Korie: But she just got married in December and Willie walked her down the aisle and was able to wear her dad’s tie as he walked her down the aisle, so that was a really, really special moment. But so, yes, so she’s 28. She’s our oldest. And then John Luke, oh this is gonna get me in trouble. I’ve gotta say everybody’s ages, John Luke.

Jim: Get close.

Korie: We have a lot of kids. (Laughter)

Jim: A mid-20’s child.

Korie: Oh, yeah, he’s 21, yes and he is married to Mary Kate and they’re in school at Liberty University in Lynchburg, Virginia and we just feel so fortunate for them to be there. It’s just a great school. And they’re doin’ amazing. And then Sadie is 19 and she just moved to Nashville, Tennessee.

Jim: And Sadie’s been on the show quite a bit.

Korie: Yes, uh-huh.

Jim: She’s kinda been in that spotlight a bit.

Korie: She has. She did “Dancing with the Stars.”

Jim: (Laughing) Right.

Korie: So she kinda had like a crazy moment. We were all in Hollywood for about three months there. It was nuts. It was the most fun. It was a really, really great experience.

Jim: And we want to say thanks to Sadie, too, ’cause we launched Brio last month, for all those that remember Brio magazine for teen girls. Sadie was our cover feature. We also did a radio program with her and we are so grateful for all of that. So, if you would like a copy of Brio magazine for teen girls, be sure to contact Focus,

Korie: Yeah, she’s doin’ amazing work. She actually started. She did the tour that all of our kids did this last fall called Live Original. And they did 16 cities around the country and it’s really just about understanding God’s purpose for your life and tryin’ to live His calling for you.

Jim: It’s gotta make you so proud. We’re gonna get to the other kids though, but just with that, with seeing your children embrace Christ and in a public setting like Sadie has particularly, to stand for those things that you hoped your kids would embrace. It’s gotta be rewarding.

Korie: Yeah, right, it’s been incredible, yeah, that’s of course the biggest reward.

Jim: That’s the goal, isn’t it?

Korie: Exactly, yeah.

Jim: Okay, keep movin’ through the family tree.

Korie: Okay, so then next is Will and Will is 15 and we adopted Will when he was 5-weeks-old and he is musical and talented and [when] we did the tour, that original tour, he was the DJ, which is super fun to see him kinda like come into his own and use the talents God has given him for somethin’ like that. So, he’s 15. And Bella is 14 and she can get along with anybody, anywhere, anytime.

Jim: Really, she’s charming.

Korie: She’ll make friends with, yes, she was sittin’ up in the audience. She’d make friends with everybody out there, yeah. (Laughter) And she’s great and also Willie’s the cook in our house. I am not. I’m terrible and so she’s gotten that talent from Willie; so that’s Bella.

John: It’s good to have a chef in training.

Korie: It’s really nice. It is really nice, ’cause when Willie’s out of town, we eat grilled cheese (Laughter) if I’m in charge. (Laughter) So Bella’s kinda of started takin’ that on. And then Rowdy is our newest and youngest and he’s 13 and we adopted him this last year, September 13th was his official adoption day.

Jim: Oh, it’s beautiful to see your heart for adoption. What motivates that? Is it your parents’ example?

Korie: So, yeah, I think first of all, I did grow up in a home where they never adopted, but we had foster children and lots of people in and out of our home always, very hospitable. My grandparents were that was, as well.

And then Willie’s family [is] the same way. They had a small house, two-bedroom house, but they always had someone sleepin’ on their couch and you know, always somebody there. But also, my senior year I was fortunate to go to a Christian school my senior year. And my Bible teach adopted and just really, really talked about how important it was and how that what God calls “true religion,” is taking care of widows and orphans and that imprinted on my heart then.

And Willie and I were datin’ at the time and I told him I wanted to adopt and he was all in from the very beginning. There was no hesitation on his part either. So, it was just somethin’ we felt called to do really early on.

Jim: You know, I love that expression. I mentioned before we came to the studio that I was in the foster system as a 9-year-old and Jean and I have done fostering. So, I’m so excited that, a family that has the public eye the way you do and you know, the affluence that comes with that, it’s not something you need to trouble yourself with, but it’s wonderful to see your faith in action to take on, you know, some kids that struggle and that have difficulty.

Korie: Uh-hm.

Jim: It’s a great example to the rest of us, so thank you for that.

Korie: Well, oh, you’re welcome. I mean, it wasn’t somethin’ we even, you know, thought it was gonna be like, oh, this is gonna be like our platform or this is what we’re gonna do. We didn’t even think about it. You know, you adopt and it’s part of your life; it’s your family.

And then when the show came out, Will is biracial, so he looks different than us, so everyone noticed and we’re like great. You know, who’s Will? Where’d he come from and all that, so we started talkin’ more about adoption. And the more I started talkin’ about it and the more I started learning about and learning about the kids, you know, in foster care and that sometimes age out of the system and don’t have a parent to call their own.

Jim: So many.

Korie: So, that’s become more and more a passion of our heart and you know, somethin’ that we feel like if we have this opportunity, God has given us this opportunity to speak and to talk and then let’s use it to do some good in the world.

Jim: Well, it’s wonderful and we have Wait No More and maybe at some point we can join forces and do more good in this community of foster care.

Korie: Yeah.

Jim: Let’s turn to how we raise the kids, which is the goal. And you’ve written this wonderful book called Strong and Kind, which are two of the characteristics you and Willie are tryin’ to instill in your kids.

Jean and I have had that discussion. You know, of all the attributes we could really concentrate on and there are several, which are the two, three that we should? And you’ve now written the book that illustrates that. So talk about coming to that point where you and Willie discussed this as your parenting approach and maybe even how it started with your mom and dad and the rules of your home growin’ up.

Korie: Okay. Well, first of all, I never thought I was gonna be writing a parenting book, especially (Laughter) like in the midst of parenting. It’s kind of like the jury’s still out here. It’s just a little bit of a scary task, so I never expected to.

When the show came out, it was kind of interesting. People started noticing that our kids said, “Yes, ma’am” and “No, sir” and you know, were respectful to their grandfather and things like that. And people started kind of noticing that and asking questions about that. And you know, I think it was kind of refreshing to see on television, like kids who like are respectful and obedient and that kind of thing, not that they’re perfect and not that they’re always that way, but people just kinda started noticing that and asking me and that’s why I ended up decidin’ to write a book about it.

But the Strong and Kind came whenever our kids were little. John Luke and Sadie were young and I went to a women’s Bible study. It was, you know, when your kids are young, you’re like, any women’s Bible study I’ll go to, to just be able to leave the kids at home.

John: It’s an hour of quieter time.

Korie: Exactly, (Laughter) like I can go, you know. So, anyway, I was at this women’s Bible study and someone said, “What are the values you want to instill in your kids?” And Strong and Kind just came to me that night immediately. And I remember saying it that night after women’s Bible study and I came home. I talked to Willie about it and I think “strong” was because, you know, I had lived long enough to realize that life wasn’t always easy, that there were gonna be ups and downs and hard times and you know, our faith and that strength, not in ourself, but in God and in knowing His power and knowing that He lives in us, so that whenever, you know, our kids do hit those rocky roads–they hit those tough times–they won’t break. They know that God is with them and He’s there.

Jim: Kind of resilience is in there, as well.

Korie: Yeah, resilience.

Jim: Strong and resilient. That’s a good attribute.

Korie: Uh-huh, right. That’s a big part of strength, uh-huh. And then “kind” was really just for other people, you know. I think kindness is, if we all were a little kinder in this world, we would be a much better place.

Jim: You know, Korie, let me ask you this. For the parent that struggles getting these attributes shared, I mean, these are characteristics that I believe are God’s characteristics, you know—kindness and strength and those things–but for the parent that’s struggling, why is character important?

Korie: Well, I think that for one, a lot of times on television, we see people who are good characters, but they’ve not necessary people of good character. And so, I think, sometimes our world kind of almost glamorizes good characters—

Jim: True.

Korie: but not necessarily people who have good character and have, you know, the character traits we talk about. One is humility, which is a tough one and a tough one in today’s world, you know and loyalty and patience and those character traits that really contribute to not necessarily success by worldly standards, but a successful life, meaning a life that honors God, glorifies Him and is one that He calls us to.

Program Note:

John: Well, that’s a good list and we’re talking with Korie Robertson of A&E’S “Duck Dynasty” TV show about her book, Strong and King and Other Important Character Trains Your Child Needs to Succeed [FYI Tradebook Title:Strong and Kind: Raising Kids of Character]. And you can order your copy of that book and a CD or download of this program with extra content at www.focusonthefamily.com/radio or when you call 800, the letter A and the word FAMILY.

End of Program Note

Jim: You know, another point you make in your book, which I thought was so good, you said you stress the importance of the family as a whole being more important than one of the children. All of us parents could benefit by that. What do you mean by that?

Korie: Well, I think that in our kind of individualistic society and all the talk about self-esteem and all this, sometimes you can get [that] each person is their own person and unique. And of course, we treat each child that way. But you know, you can’t let the one kid ruin the whole moment for everybody else, you know.

So, we always, you know, when our kids come out from a nap time and they’re still grouchy and cryin’ and fussy, then they’re just like, “Well, you can just go back to your room until you can come out and be pleasant for everybody else.” You know, so that’s kind of one way when they were little that we did that. You know, we taught them that when you’re able to come out and be pleasant for everybody, you can come out. But we’re not gonna, you know, ruin the mood of everyone else because you’re throwin’ a temper tantrum right now. You know, so, that’s as a little kid.

But as our children get older, you know, we did that with our show, with “Duck Dynasty.” We talked to them about how, this is now about us. It’s not about one individual person. It’s really about givin’ glory to God and pointin’ people to Him. So, we’re not gonna get our feelings hurt if somebody is on the show more or somebody gets to do this or someone gets this privilege or someone gets this.

You know, this is not about us anyway. And so, I think as a whole it’s really a lesson of we’re about pointin’ people to God. It’s really not about each individual person.

Jim: Yeah and then you exemplify that so well again with what we talked about a moment ago, just prayer on the show. And I’m sure with grandpa, talkin’ about Phil, being able to stand pretty strong in that space and strong for the faith and all the kids supporting him in that way. That’s a good example to the younger children to see, I think.

Korie: Uh-hm.

Jim: Let me ask you about consistency and discipline and being there in that way. I think it’s one of the greatest struggles for parents and Jean and I struggle.

Korie: It’s a hard thing.

Jim: I’m sure you and Dena, John, struggle that way.

John: Yep.

Jim: You know, consistency is tough because there [are] extenuating circumstances here. Let’s give Sadie a break. I think you were saying in your book, consistency’s critical.

Korie: Yeah.

Jim: How do you and Willie manage that as a couple?

Korie: It is and it is the hardest thing, I think. You know, one thing, having a spouse is to help; whenever you feel not so consistent, you know, the other one can kinda step in. That’s really critical. So, I really, you know, honor single moms and single dads out there who don’t have that, because that makes it even extra difficult, you know, whenever you don’t have another person to kinda lean on whenever you hit your breaking point.

Jim: Great point.

Korie: But yeah, consistency, I think is just so important for kids. And also, kids need that security, you know. They need to feel the boundaries. Boundaries are good for kids and they need to feel that. That helps them feel secure. And whenever things are not consistent, whenever like one day you yell at ’em for this and the next day you don’t or you just ignore it and then the next day, you know. It’s confusing and it’s confusing to kids. It’d be confusing to us if someone treated us that way.

Jim: You shared a story. In fact, you had surgery and you were down and you expected, like many moms would, you expected the family to kinda pick up the slack.

Korie: Yeah.

Jim: And it didn’t happen quite the way you expected.

Korie: Yes.

Jim: What happened?

Korie: Yeah, my kids still make fun of me for this moment and at the time it was not funny at all, but now I can definitely see the humor in it. But so, I was down. I was in the bed and I came out about 3 o’clock in the morning, ’cause I was thirsty and I needed water. And I mean, our house was like a frat party had happened in our house. (Laughter) It was literally like, milk was left out. There was ham, like deli ham left out on the counter and I was like, you left out the deli ham? Like that’s expensive, you know.

Jim: And it’s easy to put away.

Korie: Exactly, so easy to put away, how did you do that? And it was just like macaroni and cheese boxes. It was just a disaster in there and it just hit me. And all of a sudden in that moment at 3 o’clock in the morning, you think, how I’ve failed as a mom? You know, you think, what have I done? What have I not taught them about like being grateful for what you have and taking care of the blessings God gave you? And there are children starving in Africa and we’re leaving the deli meat out, you know.

Jim: Didn’t you text them like at 3 in the morning to say, “You guys are a bunch of slobs?”

Korie:So, yes, that was the text at 3 o’clock in the morning to our like family group message and it said, “I have raised a bunch of slobs.” That was the first line and then it went on to tell them, Sadie calls it the D word, “disappointed.” It went on to say [more]. The hardest things [for kids, they] don’t want the parents to be disappointed in them and I said, “I’m disappointed in you. I cannot believe you did this.” And I mean, I just laid it on them at 3 o’clock in the morning in a family group text, that normally like really positive and like, you know—

Jim: Correct.

Korie: –“I think you’re great. I love you.” You know, “Have a good night’s sleep.” And it was just, I mean, I laid into ’em. I was so furious. And the next day was Sunday. I said, “Go to church. Come home. Do not eat lunch and you know.” So, they get home and I was still mad. I was just like, I cannot believe it.

John: So, you stewed on it.

Korie: I had stewed on it, yes and I just gave them the speech. And their little faces are just like [sad]. They cleaned that house spotless that day, which was good. But then though, that night, you know, I kinda thought about it and I thought, you know, maybe this is the moment that I overreacted a little bit. And so, we had a talk with the family, you know. So, I think it’s important that like, yeah, we’re gonna lose it sometimes. There are gonna be times whenever your kids try to push you over the edge.

Jim: Now if we were to peel back the blind a little bit for you and Willie, what is something that you, as parents, where you have struggled together? You have different opinions on something where you’ve had, I don’t like to use the word “argument,” but you have a good disagreement about something. Can we get a little peek into that?

Korie: Yeah, well, we have arguments sometimes, (Laughter) you know.

Jim: I never want to assume.

Korie: We could not have grown up in more different families. I mean, you can see that our family and how they are. As a matter of fact, whenever we decided to get married and I was only 17 when we first did it and my parents were like, you know, gave us the five-point plan, you know, what you need to think through and how you need to you know, go to college and all that.

Jim: So, your parents were real thoughtful, real engaged.

Korie: That’s right, yeah. Phil said, “Well, you can get married at 16 in Arkansas. Well, what are you waitin’ on?” You know, so (Laughter), that was kind of the difference in the parenting styles. So, yeah, we’ve definitely had different parenting styles.

And so, I have one that is struggling in school right now and he’s very smart. It’s, you know, he is choosing to not do homework in my opinion, you know, that kind of thing.

Jim: We know that feeling.

Korie: Exactly (Laughter), yeah. And Willie is a little bit more laid back about that. He’s like, “Well, let him fail. It’s his choice. If he wants to fail, hey, he’ll fail and he’ll take it over again.

Jim: It’s so hard to do, isn’t it?

Korie: And I just can’t do that, you know. So, yeah, that’s one of those things that as parents, you gotta have the behind the closed doors meeting and come to figure out, okay, how can we work together and get the best solution here? Well, I don’t want to let him fail, so maybe we can get a tutor for him. Or maybe we can, you know, we’ll take away the electronics and see if that makes a difference, you know, do some punishment [and] see what makes a difference. Sometimes you know, as parents, it’s good to have both perspectives and come out work through that thing.

Jim: Well and I like what you said and this is where Jean and I sometimes will fail, where to be unified. Sometimes we’re discussion that unification right out in the open in front of the kids. (Laughter) That’s not a good place to have that discussion.

Korie: Yeah.

Jim: You really want to do it offline, so that when you come out of the bedroom, you are unified.

Korie: Right, yes.

Jim: And if there’s an area where Jean and I struggle, that’s probably it. We tend to think it through right there (Laughter) in the moment.

Korie: Well, you know, I think it’s good for your kids to see you disagree about other things—

Jim: Right.

Korie: –like our kids see us disagree a lot about work or politics or you know, lots of things that we don’t agree on. But as far as with the kids, we try to, you know, take that behind closed doors and then come out and present a unified front, ’cause they definitely know whenever they can pick off one over the other.

Jim: Sure.

Jim: Your parents had something called “The Howard Family Legacy of Principles for Living.” (Laughter) I don’t know if that [was an] acronym.

Korie: Well, a bit of a long title, yeah. (Laughter)

Jim: But it goes to what you were saying about your parents and the family of origin that you come from. It sounded very orderly and very concise, very thoughtful. What were these rules that you had in your home growing up?

Korie: So, every time when we would go on a family vacation, my dad would sit us all down and we would go through these principles of living. And it’s really just values that our family saw as important. And now that I look back on it, I’m so thankful that he did that.

And it’s things that, you know, it’s simple things like, one of ’em is, be the first to say you’re sorry, which is not so simple in the moment—

Jim: Right.

Korie: –but it’s a good reminder to go back or one is people are more important than things. And I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said that to our kids whenever one would break, the other one’s, you know, favorite toy, you know. I was like, “Well, people are more important than things,” you know and usually you go back to that.

So, it’s these just simple one-liners that we can go back to and remember whenever you don’t want to do the right thing, but you can remember, okay, this is important.

Jim: This has been so good, Korie. Thank you for making the time. Thank you for exemplifying Christian faith in a pressure cooker called “entertainment” and being on television the way you are with millions of people who follow you and millions of DVDs that are sold and we have bought them, as well. I think we have every season. My boys just so appreciate and love the humor of the family.

And what is amazing is, you in your family context, you’re teaching other families like ours about those principles. So, from a parent to a parent, thank you for doing it so well on “Duck Dynasty” and doing it with such fun.

Korie: Well, thank you. It’s been a fun, crazy fun ride.

Jim: Let me turn to you the listener. One of the great things we do here at Focus is to do research to ask you, the listener and those who support the ministry, how have we impacted your families. And over the last 12 months, 870,000 moms and dads credit Focus on the Family with helping them to build stronger, healthier and more God-honoring families. If you are one of those families that we were able to help, obviously, the work of God through the ministry here at Focus, I hope you can support the ministry to allow us to help others. That is the goal here.

We are listener supported, so as we work together, as we team up to help those in crisis, that is what we are doin’ here. So, I’d like to see a million parents helped next year and to do that, we need your donation. So, please support the ministry today. And when you give a gift of any amount, we’ll send you a copy of Strong and Kind by Korie Robertson, as our way of saying thank you for standing with parents to help them raise kids of godly character.

John: Yeah, you can donate and get resources at www.focusonthefamily.com/radio or call 1-800, the letter A and the word FAMILY: 800-232-6459. And certainly when you get in touch, ask about Korie’s book. We’ve got it. We’d be happy to send it to you, Strong and Kind and Other Important Character Traits Your Child Needs to Succeed [FYI Tradebook:Strong and Kind: Raising Kids of Character].

Jim: Korie, before we leave, people have hopefully had fun listening, but there is that parent, that mom or dad who is struggling raising their kids in this culture because they’re goin’ off to school. They’re learning and seeing things that go right against what they’re tryin’ to teach ’em. What’s a piece of advice for that parent who’s feeling the burden of parenting is just too heavy?

Korie: Yeah, you know, I think sometimes we lose that confidence and the Bible tells us to not lose our confidence, because our confidence is in Him. And He has given you those children. He has given you the tools and the things that you need to help them.

And you know, whenever you point them to Him, continually pointing them to Him, you know, He loves them even more than you do. So, I think that we can take heart in that, that you know, whatever mistakes we’ve made or whatever, you know, things that we’ve done that haven’t been the best for our children, our God loves them even more than we do and He is for them and He is with them and He is in them.

Jim: What I hear you saying there is, relax and love them.

Korie: That’s right.

Jim: Yeah, that’s good advice.

Korie: Yeah. That’s right.

Jim: Great to have you.

Korie: Uh-hm, thank you.

Closing:

John: And again, Korie Robertson has been our guest today on “Focus on the Family.” And to learn more about her book, Strong and Kind and to get a CD or download of this program which will include extra content, stop by www.focusonthefamily.comr/adio. Or call us and we’ll tell you more, 800, the letter A and the word FAMILY; 800-232-6459.

And be sure to join us tomorrow. We’ll have a special conversation with former President George W. Bush.

Excerpt:

Former President George W. Bush: These troops are a tremendous national asset for the future of our country. There are men and women who have gotten a Ph.D. in life at a very young age. And to the extent they need help, we need to give them help.

End of Excerpt

John: On behalf of Jim Daly and the entire team, I’m John Fuller, thanking you for listening and inviting you back next time, as we once again, help you and your family thrive.

Today's Guests

Strong and Kind

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Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff Cropped

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Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

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Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

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Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

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Are You Really Okay?

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Cover image of Kevin Thompson's book "Friends, Partners & Lovers"

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Headshot image of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Patti Giebink

Mrs. Patti Giebink

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Cover image of the book "Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life"

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Author Wendy Speake smiling as she holds up her book "The 40-Day Social Media Fast"

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Cover image of the book "The 40-Day Sugar Fast"

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Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

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Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 2

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

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Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 2

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

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Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. W. Lee Warren

Dr. Lee Warren

W. Lee Warren, M.D., is a brain surgeon , inventor, Iraq War veteran, and author of I’ve Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon’s Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know, winner of the Christian Book Award®. His previous book, No Place to Hide, was included on the 2015 U.S. Air Force Chief of Staff’s Recommended Reading List. Dr. Warren has appeared on The 700 Club and the CBS Evening News, and his writings have been featured in Guideposts magazine. His Dr. Lee Warren Podcast, which is heard in more than 60 countries, helps listeners use the power of neuroscience, faith, and common sense to change their lives.

Cover image of Dr. Lee Warren's book "I've Seen the End of You"

I've Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon's Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know

This gripping inspirational memoir grapples with the tension between faith and science—and between death and hope—as a seasoned neurosurgeon faces insurmountable odds and grief both in the office and at home.

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 1

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 1

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage Part 1

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 1

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 1

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

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Newest Release - Episode 1: The Truth About Life!

In this episode, we will tackle tough questions like, “When does life begin?” and “What does the Bible
say about Life?” You’ll discover and understand the stages of pre-born life and that babies are more than
just a clump of cells!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Thank you for committing to pray for the pre-born!

Sign up below for your free seven-day prayer guide. This daily guide will help give direction to your prayers for the pro-life movement. We will be praying with you! 

Focus on the Family

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