Helping a Spouse Overcome Addiction to Pornography

What can I do to help my spouse overcome his obsession with pornographic and sexually explicit material? All the signs indicate that he's addicted. I've been suspecting something like this for a long time, and now my fears have been confirmed: the other night I walked in and discovered him viewing hard-core porn on the Internet. He denies that it's a serious problem, but I disagree. What should I do?

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Perhaps it will encourage you to know that you and your spouse are not alone. Sexual addictions of all kinds have become widespread in contemporary society. In fact, contrary to the common stereotype, this is not just a male problem. It affects men and women, boys and girls, from every age group and all walks of life. Because it is rooted in the basic human craving for relationship, sexual addiction is tenacious and progressive in nature. To put it another way, porn is powerful because it offers a counterfeit form of intimacy and attachment. It’s important to keep these things in mind when seeking to help a loved one who has fallen prey to the deception that de-personalized sex can ultimately satisfy the longings of the human heart.

The good news is that effective help is available. We suggest that you and your spouse begin by seeking professional counseling, and we highly recommend that you do this together. The most successful course of treatment takes a family systems approach that involves an initial program of intensive therapy, followed by regular and ongoing counseling sessions. Also key to recovery is identifying a trusted friend or group of individuals who will provide an environment of support and accountability. Our staff would be happy to provide you with referrals to helpful programs of this kind or a list of qualified therapists in your area who specialize in treating sexual addictions. You can contact our Counseling department for a free over-the-phone consultation.

In the meantime, you and your husband might consider installing some accountability software on your computer. Please be advised that software programs of this nature are not the ultimate answer to the serious and complex problems like those your spouse is facing, but we feel strongly that they can play an important role in helping you keep tabs on the entire family’s online activities.

For further help, our main website provides a series of informative articles on
Pornography and
Virtual Infidelity. Below are a number of other resources and referrals that should prove useful in your efforts to help your spouse find healing and release from the bondage of sexual addiction.

 

Resources

The Last Addiction: Why Self-Help Is Not Enough

False Intimacy: Understanding the Struggle of Sexual Addiction

Breaking Free: Making Liberty in Christ a Reality in Life

Nothing to Hide: Hope for Marriages Hurt by Pornography and Infidelity

Digital Pornography Addiction: What You Need to Know and Where to Find Help

Referrals
Hope Restored® marriage intensives

Be Broken Ministries

Net Nanny

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