How important is a father’s involvement with his son who has ADHD?

ADHD is much more common in boys than in girls. And, in our society we are living with an epidemic of dads who don’t spend both quality and quantity time with their kids. When we look at the rash of shootings on school campuses today, boys are almost exclusively involved. When we look at campus violence, it’s almost always the boys who are doing these things.

In his book Bringing Up Boys,¹ Dr. James Dobson discusses the fact that many experts believe that one of the key causes of all this is the absence of fathers in the lives of their children — especially the boys. In the absence of paternal leadership and guidance, families are more likely to experience problems. Boys are made — created — to depend on their fathers, to listen to their fathers, to be molded by their fathers. That’s the way God made them. You take men out of the lives of children, especially boys, and bad things usually happen.

Some experts feel this phenomenon is even more crucial for the ADHD child. These boys and girls need their dads in their lives. For kids with impulse control problems, strong adult leadership — especially male leadership — appears to be crucial to model and teach that control.

For single moms with ADHD kids, getting one or more significant male role models in your kids’ lives may be crucial. For the rest of you, Dad needs to be more involved. This will cost him time, no question about it. It may cost the family income or mean significant sacrifice and schedule change. But it will be an investment with magnificent returns. Quality time with kids, and especially ADHD kids, can only come inside of quantity time.

Endnotes
^{1. Dobson JC. Bringing Up Boys: Practical Advice and Encouragement for Those Shaping the Next Generation of Men. Tyndale House. Chicago, IL. 2002.}