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Singles and Sexual Desire

If I'm meant to live a single life, why do I have a sex drive? Let me explain why I'm asking this question. I'm a forty-something male, never married and with no kids. Through prayer and practical circumstances I've come to believe that it's God's will for me to remain single all my life. There's just one problem: He hasn't taken away my sex drive. What's the point of having a strong and healthy sex drive if I can't use it?

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You can find a pretty plain and straightforward answer to your question in the pages of Scripture. Both Paul and Jesus indicate that celibacy is a rare gift. God grants this gift only to a few special individuals (Matthew 19:10-12; I Corinthians 7:7). In our opinion, the challenge of living a completely asexual life is a difficult standard to achieve. That’s why we consider marriage as such an important part of the divine plan for the average believer (I Corinthians 7:2).

Paul in particular doesn’t pull any punches in this regard: “But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: it is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion” (I Corinthians 7:8, 9).

As far as we can see, these words apply directly to your situation. You didn’t describe in detail your reasons for believing that it’s God’s will for you to be “single all your life.” But if your sex drive is as powerful as you suggest, you may want to reevaluate your convictions on this point. If you have to fight too hard to suppress your feelings, it may be that your calling to the single life is not as genuine as you suppose.

If you feel a need to pursue this subject at greater length, don’t hesitate to call us for a free consultation. We have professional counselors on staff who would be more than happy to discuss your questions with you over the phone.

 

Resource

Your Single Treasure: Good News About Singles and Sexuality

They Were Single Too: 8 Biblical Role Models

Men: Maintaining Sexual Purity

Referrals
Boundless

Articles
Five Ways to Celebrate Singleness

Copyright © 2011, Focus on the Family.

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