You’re to be commended and congratulated on the progress you’ve made in the battle against pornography addiction. Your success is a sign of hope for all who wrestle with similar addictions and who desperately want to know if it’s possible to be set free from their bondage. As you’re discovering, each and every one of us has the potential to become a new creation in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17) no matter who we are or what we’ve done. If it’s happening for you, it can happen for others as well.
That said, we feel it’s our responsibility to add that this healing process can be slow, painstaking, and incremental. To see it through demands a significant degree of commitment and dedication. You’re probably already very aware of this. Ultimate victory depends on accountability and lifelong maintenance of your decision to preserve the purity of your thought life. As we see it, this can only be achieved in partnership with other people – a spouse, a friend, a mentor, or a support group that can come alongside you and hold your feet to the fire when the situation demands it. You can’t expect to win this fight alone.
That’s because sexual addictions are rooted in the fundamental human craving for relationship. To put it another way, porn is powerful primarily because it offers a counterfeit form of intimacy and attachment. Because of this, we need to follow up our earlier congratulatory message with a word of caution: if your basic need for intimacy isn’t met in a legitimate way, the negative behavior will reassert itself despite your best efforts to resist it. Thirty, sixty, or ninety porn-free days do not necessarily prove that you’ve been “cured” of your addiction once and for all.
Our advice, then, is to keep your eyes open and your defenses up. Get professional counseling. Do everything you can to nurture deep, meaningful relationships with the “significant others” of your life. Whatever it takes, you must free yourself from the deception that depersonalized sex can ultimately satisfy the longings of the human heart.
Call us. Our staff would be happy to discuss these thoughts with you at greater length. They can also provide you with referrals to intensive counseling programs for porn addicts or a list of qualified therapists in your area who specialize in treating sexual addictions.
And if you haven’t already, we think it would also be wise to find some way of introducing a measure of accountability into your interactions with the web. While software programs of this nature aren’t necessarily the ultimate answer to the serious and complex problems that lie at the heart of pornography addiction, but we feel strongly that they can play an important role in helping you keep tabs on the entire family’s online activities.
If a title is currently unavailable through Focus on the Family, we encourage you to use another retailer.
Be Broken Ministries