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Gary Thomas

Gary Thomas is pastor, speaker, and award-winning author who has written over 20 books including Pure Pleasure, Sacred Pathways, Sacred Marriage and Sacred Parenting. He has also authored numerous articles for several prominent national magazines. Gary and his wife, Lisa, live in Colorado and have three grown children. You can learn more about Gary by visiting his website, www.garythomas.com.

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Enjoying the Earth Without Loving the World

Is it wrong to experience pleasure? Many Christians assume “pleasure” and “sin” are synonymous. Others define godly pleasure so narrowly that they drastically minimize the powerful and Holy role that pleasure can play in their lives. Still others feel guilty even thinking about how to build a life of pleasure. Pastor Gary Thomas invites Christians to embrace a life of true pleasure as a pathway to obedience, worship, and service. Gary provides a theological and inspirational framework to help us cultivate the kind of life that pleases God.

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Celebrating the True Meaning of Advent

Gary Thomas explains the meaning of Advent, “God with us,” by using a true story about a visit to a ranch where he saw a great word picture: a lone horse and a lone sheep who wouldn’t leave each other’s sides. The rancher explained that there used to be an entire flock of sheep, but they were all picked off by coyote. This one sheep figured out that as long as he stayed near that big horse, he was safe. And he remains there to this day. And we, like that sheep, are safe because of Advent – “God with us.”

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Drawing Closer to God and Each Other (Part 2 of 2)

Gary Thomas, author of A Lifelong Love, discusses how to worship God to bring you into unity as a couple, how to allow God to rub away your own selfishness and how couples can intentionally pursue oneness in marriage. He explores how to reduce expectations for your spouse, how to find your confidence in God, and how to seek first the Kingdom of God as a couple. (Part 2 of 2)

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Drawing Closer to God and Each Other (Part 1 of 2)

Gary Thomas, author of A Lifelong Love, discusses how to worship God to bring you into unity as a couple, how to allow God to rub away your own selfishness and how couples can intentionally pursue oneness in marriage. He explores how to reduce expectations for your spouse, how to find your confidence in God, and how to seek first the Kingdom of God as a couple. (Part 1 of 2)

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Soulmates or ‘Sole’ Mates?

Don’t get swept away with the exciting notion that your soulmate has arrived. Check what the Bible has to say about soulmates first.

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Use Your Time Wisely When You Become Empty Nesters

Many options are open to couples whose kids have moved out. Here are some tips on how to use time wisely during the empty-nest years.

Balancing Act - June/July 2023 Focus on the Family magazine

Balancing Act

Prioritizing your marriage during the parenting years is a balancing act

Affirming Mothers Every Day

Wives and mothers desire expressed and demonstrated respect rather than the mere avoidance of disrespect.

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Cherish Your Spouse, Change Your Marriage (Part 2 of 2)

Author Gary Thomas describes what it means to truly cherish your spouse, offering practical advice to help you build a more satisfying and fulfilling marriage. (Part 2 of 2)

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Cherish Your Spouse, Change Your Marriage (Part 1 of 2)

Author Gary Thomas describes what it means to truly cherish your spouse, offering practical advice to help you build a more satisfying and fulfilling marriage. (Part 1 of 2)

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Best of 2022: Improving Your Sex Life to Improve Your Marriage (Part 2 of 2)

Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta help couples understand and experience mutually fulfilling sexual intimacy in marriage. Our guests describe God’s design for sex and how many couples don’t recognize its great value within marriage. (Part 2 of 2)

The Very Best Christmas Money Can’t Buy

When your oldest child is 30, and you ask him or her, “What’s your most treasured Christmas memory?” what do you want to hear?

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Best of 2022: Improving Your Sex Life to Improve Your Marriage (Part 1 of 2)

Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta help couples understand and experience mutually fulfilling sexual intimacy in marriage. Our guests describe God’s design for sex and how many couples don’t recognize its great value within marriage. (Part 1 of 2)

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Fortifying Your Marriage For the Storms of Life (Part 2 of 2)

Gary Thomas offers practical help for couples about dealing with fear, overcoming anger in conflict, staying connected with your spouse, the importance of community for your marriage, and taking your marital concerns to the Holy Spirit first instead of complaining to your spouse. (Part 2 of 2)

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Fortifying Your Marriage For the Storms of Life (Part 1 of 2)

Gary Thomas offers practical help for couples about dealing with fear, overcoming anger in conflict, staying connected with your spouse, the importance of community for your marriage, and taking your marital concerns to the Holy Spirit first instead of complaining to your spouse. (Part 1 of 2)

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Discovering God’s Plan for Your Parenting (Part 2 of 2)

Author Gary Thomas explains how parenting can lead to spiritual transformation in a discussion based on his book, Sacred Parenting: How Raising Children Shapes Our Souls. (Part 2 of 2)

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Discovering God’s Plan for Your Parenting (Part 1 of 2)

Author Gary Thomas explains how parenting can lead to spiritual transformation in a discussion based on his book,Sacred Parenting: How Raising Children Shapes Our Souls. (Part 1 of 2)

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Discovering Freedom In Your Faith

In this inspiring conversation, Gary Thomas describes the joy-filled pursuit of growing in the virtues and becoming more like Christ. Tune in to hear how foundational virtues like humility, surrender, and detachment can shape your family and relationships.

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Improving Your Sex Life to Improve Your Marriage (Part 2 of 2)

Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta help couples understand and experience mutually fulfilling sexual intimacy in marriage. Our guests describe God’s design for sex and how many couples don’t recognize its great value within marriage. (Part 2 of 2)

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Improving Your Sex Life to Improve Your Marriage (Part 1 of 2)

Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta help couples understand and experience mutually fulfilling sexual intimacy in marriage. Our guests describe God’s design for sex and how many couples don’t recognize its great value within marriage. (Part 1 of 2)

Unhappy-young-couple-turned-from-each-other-in-bed-with-mismatched-libidos

The Best Way to Deal with Mismatched Libidos in Your Marriage

It’s not unusual for spouses to have different levels of sexual desire. Learn how to manage your mismatched libidos and make your sex life a blessing.

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Cherishing Your Spouse Every Day

Do you love your spouse, or do you truly cherish them? Gary Thomas encourages couples to make a daily effort to go beyond the ‘duty’ of love, and combat the natural inclination to drift apart by choosing to see the best in their spouse.

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Breathe Spiritual Life Into Your Marriage (Part 2 of 2)

Gary Thomas encourages married couples to seek selflessness and spiritual purpose for their relationship in a discussion based on his book A Lifelong Love: Discovering How Intimacy With God Breathes Passion Into Your Marriage. (Part 2 of 2)

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Breathe Spiritual Life Into Your Marriage (Part 1 of 2)

Gary Thomas encourages married couples to seek selflessness and spiritual purpose for their relationship in a discussion based on his book A Lifelong Love: Discovering How Intimacy With God Breathes Passion Into Your Marriage. (Part 1 of 2)

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How to Be a Better Lover

Do you want to have better sex with your spouse? Then try becoming a better person.

gratitude-A husband and wife smiling at one another, holding each other close.

Gratitude With Purpose in Marriage

Appreciating your spouse will strengthen your marriage — and change you

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A Fresh Look at Dating (Part 2 of 2)

Author Gary Thomas discusses several issues within the modern dating scene – character vs. romantic attraction, the neurological impact of infatuation, the idea of soulmates – while encouraging singles to be intentional in their pursuit of a godly spouse. (Part 2 of 2)

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A Fresh Look at Dating (Part 1 of 2)

Author Gary Thomas discusses several issues within the modern dating scene – character vs. romantic attraction, the neurological impact of infatuation, the idea of soulmates – while encouraging singles to be intentional in their pursuit of a godly spouse. (Part 1 of 2)

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What Does Your Spouse Really Want for Christmas?

Give the best gift you’ll ever give, which is what your spouse really wants, and you want to give . . . whether you know it or not.

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The Goal for Every Married Couple

Learning how to bless your spouse is a wonderful thing. But what if you served him or her without expecting anything in return? John and the Smalleys discuss how to maintain a servant’s heart through the changing seasons of marriage.

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Making Simple Investments in Your Marriage

What if your marriage is only a step or two away from going to the next level? Erin, Greg and John talk about simple things you can do to keep the passion strong in your relationship.

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Embracing God’s Desire for Your Marriage (Part 2 of 2)

In a discussion based on his book Sacred Marriage, Gary Thomas describes how God uses marriage to make us holy, not just happy. (Part 2 of 2)

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Embracing God’s Desire for Your Marriage (Part 1 of 2)

In a discussion based on his book Sacred Marriage, Gary Thomas describes how God uses marriage to make us holy, not just happy. (Part 1 of 2)

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The Overlooked Benefits of Marriage

The personal benefits of marriage are enormous. Marriage can benefit couples in three important areas: personal healing, happiness and growth in holiness.

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How to Find a Good and Godly Spouse

Author Gary Thomas outlines some important, biblically-based character attributes which singles should look for in a future spouse.

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Drawing Closer to God and Each Other, Part 6

Every marriage walks through flourishing times, and times where it feels cold. No matter what season your marriage is in, you and your spouse need a healthy foundation. John, Greg and Erin share how you can build true intimacy with your spouse, regardless of the season you’re in.

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Drawing Closer to God and Each Other, Part 5

Your spouse may be amazing, but he or she still falls short from time to time. John, Greg and Erin share some practical ways to encourage your spouse, even when he or she disappoints you.

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Setting Boundaries in Toxic Relationships (Part 2 of 2)

In a discussion based on his book When to Walk Away, Gary Thomas explains why it’s okay to disengage from people who relish negativity, control, and hatred, and he offers practical, biblically-based advice for doing so. (Part 2 of 2)

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Setting Boundaries in Toxic Relationships (Part 1 of 2)

In a discussion based on his book When to Walk Away, Gary Thomas explains why it’s okay to disengage from people who relish negativity, control, and hatred, and he offers practical, biblically-based advice for doing so. (Part 1 of 2)

Good Parents, Prodigal Kids

Can you be such a good parent that your children won’t ever stray?

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Drawing Closer to God and Each Other, Part 4

Keeping even little secrets from your spouse can create issues. Greg and John talk about how to remain transparent in your marriage. Featuring Gary Thomas. Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY

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Drawing Closer to God and Each Other, Part 3

Keeping even little secrets from your spouse can create issues. Greg and John talk about how to remain transparent in your marriage. Featuring Gary Thomas. Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY

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Drawing Closer to God and Each Other, Part 2

Loving your spouse starts with knowing that God already loves you more than anyone ever will. Featuring Gary Thomas. Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY.

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Drawing Closer to God and Each Other, Part 1

Loving your spouse starts with knowing that God already loves you more than anyone ever will. Featuring Gary Thomas. Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY.

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How to Positively Influence Your Husband (Part 2 of 2)

In a discussion based on his book Loving Him Well, Gary Thomas offers wives practical advice for influencing their husband when he seems unwilling to change. (Part 2 of 2)

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How to Positively Influence Your Husband (Part 1 of 2)

In a discussion based on his book Loving Him Well, Gary Thomas offers wives practical advice for influencing their husband when he seems unwilling to change. (Part 1 of 2)

What Cherishing Your Spouse Really Means

For 20 years, I had loved my wife — serving, sacrificing, persevering. But I had conveniently forgotten to consider what it meant to cherish her. To do that, I had to figure out what cherishing meant.

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The Spiritual Impact of Healthy Living (Part 2 of 2)

Gary Thomas emphasizes physical health and fitness as important spiritual values for Christians to steward appropriately for God’s service. (Part 2)

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The Spiritual Impact of Healthy Living (Part 1 of 2)

Gary Thomas emphasizes physical health and fitness as important spiritual values for Christians to steward appropriately for God’s service. (Part 1)

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Nine Spiritual Temperaments

There are at least nine distinct spiritual temperaments that determine how a person worships and relates to God. See if you can recognize yourself (and your spouse) in these descriptions.

Your Spiritual Temperament Quiz

How do you relate to God? Take this quiz and find out which of the nine spiritual temperaments best describes you.

Differing Faith Expressions

Scripture and Christian tradition present a wide variety of worship approaches, all equally acceptable because God makes us with different dispositions and personal preferences.

Am I a Bad Parent?

I could do better, and I make mistakes. But does that make me a bad parent?

How You May Be Betraying Your Wife

Every husband has inside information on his wife — a health issue, something from her past, a secret fear. We must hold that vulnerability as a sacred trust.

God’s Presence in Your Marriage

When we remember that God is always present, all the Scripture verses about how to treat each other take on an added importance. With His presence at the center of our homes, we can transform our marriages.

Passion and Pleasure

A couple can build such a satisfying sexual relationship, getting to know each other so well, growing in such intimacy, that the thought of an affair holds little appeal.

More Than Conquerors

If you want to grow together beyond your natural limitations, consider adopting spiritual practices that can lift your marriage above its natural limitations.

A Marriage Worthy of Our Calling

Building a marriage “worthy of our calling” means that we recognize our enlistment in the most glorious work ever known: the advancement of God’s kingdom.

Spiritual Connection: Having a Proverbs 31 Marriage

The Proverbs 31 woman and her husband exemplify godliness and earnest commitment to God and to each other.

Studying the Bible as a Married Couple

When couples read and study the Bible together, they increase spiritual intimacy and a general sense of togetherness.

Finding Purpose in Everyday Life

Family is important, but have you ever wondered how you reflect its importance as you live out your life day to day?

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Anyway Love

To love anyway is to love like God – and to learn about God’s love for us.

Searching for a ‘Sole’ Mate

Our culture has embraced the absurd notion that there is just one person who can ‘complete us.’