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Embracing Imperfections in Your Marriage (Part 2 of 2)

Embracing Imperfections in Your Marriage (Part 2 of 2)

Based on their book No More Perfect Marriages, Mark and Jill Savage openly discuss the marital struggles they've had, sharing valuable lessons for other couples who want to avoid the same mistakes. (Part 2 of 2)

Opening:

Teaser:

Jim Daly: Talk about that moment when he actually came to you and said, “I can’t. I’m walkin’ out the door.”

Mrs. Jill Savage: Uh-hm.

Jim: How did that happen?

Jill: I was crushed. I mean, I really thought he would never go that far, but I also didn’t realize how dark it was inside of him, the hopelessness that he was experiencing, the desert that he was walking in spiritually, emotionally, relationally.

End of Teaser

John Fuller: That’s from a conversation that we had a number of years ago with Jill Savage about a very difficult time in her relationship with her husband, Mark. Now the good news is, Mark and Jill are here today with us on “Focus on the Family” And they have some insights and excellent advice and encouragement for couples to restore and reconcile their marriages. And your host is Focus president and author, Jim Daly. I’m John Fuller.

Jim: John, we hear from so many couples who have come to the end of their rope. They don’t see any hope for their marriage. Maybe there’s been infidelity or some other trust broken or whatever it might be. There’s a cooling of the relationship. The one that catches my attention is when people say, “We just fell out of love.” I mean, that’s so unfortunate. What I like to say is, “Well, that’s because you weren’t working at it.” Marriage takes discipline. It takes effort. It doesn’t just happen. It’s not, you know, just coming out of the ground and you’re loving each other endlessly. It takes effort.

And it such a tragedy in our culture today that we have removed God from His plan for marriage. I mean, He’s the one that designed it. I often smile because man, He’s got a knack for pulling opposite people together. I mean, He has wired us that way. Introvert meets extrovert. “I love you.” And you’re looking for something that’s different from you and I think that’s inherent in us. It’s what God placed there.

And rightfully, the question is, why did He do that? I think the answer is so you could become more like Him, because it’s gonna require selflessness to be successful in that marriage. And He’s smilin’ goin’, “I’ve done a good thing, ’cause you’re gonna learn more about who you are and become more like Me, if it works.”

John: Well, sometimes those differences really don’t work out and couples find themselves in trouble. This quick reminder that here at Focus on the Family, we have resources and tools. We have counselors and we have our Hope Restored marriage intensive. We have a lot to offer couples who either need some minor tune-up with regard to the relationship or major overhaul, because those differences are becoming more and more profound. And so, let me encourage you to call us. Our number is 800-A-FAMILY or stop by www.focusonthefamily.com/radio to learn more.

Body:

Jim: If you didn’t hear the conversation last time with Mark and Jill Savage, I recommend you get the download or CD. Get the app on your Smartphone, whatever you need to do. It was terrific. I mean, it talked about the way we think as human beings, the vulnerability of us. You will appreciate what we have done there in order to set up today.

And today we’re gonna talk about deeper pain and those things that were causing difficulties in the Savage’s marriage. To give a little bit of background, they were in public ministry. Jill was the founder and CEO of Hearts at Home. Mark was a pastor for 20 years. They would write and speak on family issues, helping save the marriages of others and at the same time, their marriage was crumbling.

Let me welcome both of you back to the broadcast. What an introduction, right? Your marriage (Laughter) was crumbling. But you know what’s so good about it and we’re gonna get there, here you are today.

Mr. Mark Savage, Mrs. Jill Savage: Uh-hm.

Jim: You’re at the table.

Mark: Absolutely.

Jim: You’re together.

Jill: That’s right.

Jim: You’re still married.

Mark: Yeah.

Jill: That’s right.

Jim: And I just give you so many accolades for fighting through that and doing what the Lord would want done, even in difficult circumstances.

Mark, we left off last time where you were just beginning to share 28 years into your marriage, you were burned out. You left the pastorate. You’re depressed really. I mean, that’s what it sounded like to me. You were in a mid-life crisis. Jill, years before had, had this heart flutter for a coworker. She came to you and said, “I’m experiencing this.” You responded with gentleness, with wisdom. Let’s fix this. We gotta get it take care of. Jill left her job, got out of that situation, but now years later, you’re the man. As Nathan said to David. You’re the one.

Mark: Yes.

Jim: Describe briefly what took place and then we’ll go to the healing portion.

Mark: What took place was my disillusionment and mistrust of God was at the core of all of this. And it played out in experiencing or believing out of my own brokenness, that my marriage was just too hard. Life was too hard. It wasn’t worth it. I to start over. I needed something new. I took the steps to pursue something new. I found a new relationship. I left Jill and my kids and (Emotional) I’m sorry. Wow. I left Jill and my kids, believing that, that new relationship was gonna be the cure-all.

But the problem was, I took somebody with me and that was me. In pursuing this new relationship, what I am so grateful for is, that God just kept pursuing me. And the door opened for me to realize how powerful my flesh had been and that I hadn’t learned how to really deal with the flesh and also, how much God wanted me to be free of me.

Jim: Jill, turning to you. I mean, wow, this is tough stuff. This is probably the arrow that pierces a wife’s heart the deepest, the most profoundly. It’s the trust factor. It’s violation. I can feel that in the letters we read here at Focus or the e-mails. It just devastates, because what does a woman think when this happens? You turn it to yourself. Where did I fail?

Jill: Uh-hm.

Jim: What was my problem?

Jill: Uh-hm.

Jim: I mean, it’s a beautiful thing, but man, it crumbles you.

Jill: Uh-hm, yeah, you really do naturally think what am I not providing? What do I need to change, all of that. And I would say that probably filled my mind for probably the first two months after discovery.

But there was a turning point for me where I moved it in my head and my heart from being about me to recognizing the confusion that he was in. And I think honestly, that’s what allowed me to stay in the game for a while because I began, instead of seeing [it] and making it about me, I began to have compassion upon him.

Jim: That fork in the road though between finding and growing in compassion, versus the bridge of bitterness, when you’re standing there, I mean, it’s not like a stoplight. It’s coming from within.

Jill: Scary, uh-hm.

Jim: Some people have said, “I couldn’t control that bitterness. I was angry.” He violated me in so many ways.

Jill: Absolutely.

Jim: How do you choose to follow God through this dark path?

Jill: The No. 1 thing you do is pour your heart out to God. I mean, you lay it out there and you express your anger to Him. I mean, Many times [I] just was in a heap on the floor, of tears, bawling my eyes out, crying out, begging God to bring back the husband I knew that was in there, but was so lost.

And so, I think part of it is, you’ve got to express that and I had a handful of friends that were safe for me to be able to express that to and to process that with, as well. So, I think part of it is, you know, being honest with God. And that doesn’t mean [it’s easy]; it’s not a clean process. It’s messy. It’s really messy.

Jim: And don’t pretend in that process. Don’t feel one way about your spouse and then turn to God and act a different way.

Jill: Um-um, no.

Jim: Bring that over. Talk to the Father about that.

Jill: You don’t have to get cleaned up before you talk to Him. You just lay it out there. He knows.

Jim: Yeah, He wants your heart.

Jill: And not only that, but Christ was betrayed. I mean, you talk about somebody understanding betrayal. Your God gets it.

Jim: Hm.

Jill: And so, just even remembering that, it’s not lost. The pain of that is not lost on Him.

Jim: Jill, you meet with many women who have been wounded in this way and I can imagine you get the whole spectrum of response. “I’m not gonna let him treat me like a doormat.”

Jill: Uh-hm, uh-hm.

Jim: “That’d be the wrong thing to do, to be tender and to have compassion for him.” Speak to that woman particularly, who has all these voices ringing in her head at that moment, where you’re choosing especially with kids in the home, I mean, you are choosing some big decisions here.

Jill: Uh-hm.

Jim: How do you settle your heart down? How do you think through, without giving a free pass—

Jill: Uh-hm.

Jim: –to your spouse to say, that’s okay, so that it might happen again without any consequence, that’s not healthy.

Jill: Right.

Jim: But how do you balance all that? Just speak to the spectrum of voices of women that you’ve heard from, from hardcore: “I locked him out of the house; he’s never gonna see his kids again!” to the other end where really was your response of, “How do I fix this, Lord? What can You do through me?”

Jill: Yes, I would say mine wasn’t all the way over there. (Laughter) Because the other thing, you know, we were seeing a counselor when all of this happened. And he stopped going to counseling. I continued to go and my counselor was helpful in me trying to figure out the balance between grace-filled love and boundary-filled love. And there had to be both. So, for instance, when he left, one of the things I did is, I changed the locks on the house. And he couldn’t come back in without calling me, making arrangements.

Jim: That was under that “boundary” category.

Jill: It was a boundary category because our kids were absolutely crushed and I couldn’t have him just show up and then have them drug through the emotions of a dad walking in the door and then not being prepared for that.

Jim: Right.

Jill: So, that was one place where I had to draw some boundaries, but at the same time to do it in as much of a loving way as possible.

Jim: As you could muster.

Jill: Right.

Jim: I mean, let’s be truthful.

Jill: And right and there were moments that I was not loving. I remember one night when shortly after he left, one of the boys overflowed the toilet on the second floor and it overflowed into the kitchen and down into the basement. And I was alone at home, trying to figure out what to do. And I’m gonna tell you, I was not very happy with him at that moment and I was not very kind. (Laughing) I mean, let’s be honest.

Jim: Right.

Jill: It was ugly that night.

Jim: Right, if everything was normal, if you didn’t, “fill in the blank.”

Jill: Uh-hm.

Mark: Yeah.

Jill: Exactly.

Jim: You would be here to help us right now at our point of need.

Jill: Exactly, so [I] didn’t do that perfectly in any way, but at the same time, tried very hard when we did set those boundaries, when I did set necessary boundaries, to do it in as loving way and with as much compassion as possible.

John: Our guests today on “Focus on the Family” are Mark and Jill Savage and they’ve shared very candidly here on the air and in their book, No More Perfect Marriages. You can find the book and a CD or a download of our conversation at www.focusonthefamily.com/radio. Call us if you need resources or you’d like to talk to one of our counselors. Our number is 800-A-FAMILY.

And Mark, you kinda pretty much in your mind decided, I am divorcing Jill and yet, you did still meet together. You still had conversations. And something happened in the course of what were, I’m sure, very tense get-togethers. God started to do something, right?

Mark: He did. I asked Jill to meet on a regular basis so that we had kids. We had to know how to have conversation about the kids and during that time, Jill’s love was what we now call or have coined “unhumanable.”

Jim: Unhumanable, that’s good!

Mark: Unhumanable and when we were at dinner and I asked her, “I’ve done so much to you, why are you so nice?” And then she said, “Well, all I can say is it’s “unhumanable’” and I started to laugh, not at her, but that just sounded so odd and kinda cute. And we learned that, that, that is the love that God gives us for the compassion and grace and boundaries to just keep movin’ forward in the way that He wants, not in the way that the world would say.

Jim: Mark, had you ever experienced that kind of love that was unconditional and not from the flesh? Again, I’m thinking probably not.

Mark: No.

Jim: ‘Cause you only had aggression in your home growin’ up.

Mark: Yeah.

Jim: And here your very wife is demonstrating [to] you the attitude of Christ, maybe for the first time.

Mark: Yeah, uh-hm.

Jim: You could feel it.

Mark: I could feel it and see it and so, that was happening and then God was cleaning up my own disillusionment and helping me to see the mess for what it was. And I was quite overwhelmed with all of that, that what it did was, it led me to a powerful decision in my life and that was surrender, which is way deeper than submission.

But I found myself in a place where I couldn’t fix it. Jill’s high profile was huge, so I wasn’t really reconciling only with Jill and my kids, but the thousands of women that she ministers to and the Scarlet A that I felt that I wore on my chest. And that took a tool that we identified in our book of courage–courage to surrender fully to God and do whatever He says, no matter what.

Jim: When you look at it and I want to get to some of the tools that you discovered and implemented to bring your marriage back together, the “fades,” you call them and we’ll get there in just a second. But when you as a pastor, thinking of the 20 years you pastored and Jill, what you do through your ministry to women, how many of us don’t surrender? And it takes the crushing blow of sin and failure and brokenness to come to the Throne without pretentiousness, without thinking we’re better than the other person.

I mean, it kind of is God’s design, isn’t it? Not that you need to go through this. You don’t want to go through this, but if it happens, to ask the thing, the very first thing, “God, what can I learn about You?” And Jill, as I hear your testimony and your heart and to be able to lay down that kind of, what Mark saw as unconditional love, that’s not coming from your flesh.

Jill: Um-um.

Jim: That’s ’cause the flesh response, the human response is, “I’m gonna get you.”

Jill: Uh-hm.

Jim: “And I’m gonna stay mad at you for the rest of my life. And I will be bitter towards you. And it’s not my fault; it’s your fault. You violated me. You left me.”

Jill: Uh-hm.

Jim: “You deserted me.” You can hear it. That’s the flesh talking.

Jill: Oh, it is.

Mark: Yes.

Jill: It is and that’s the feelings. I mean, those feelings are there.

Jim: And we gravitate toward those, but God’s quiet voice says, “Wait a minute, daughter. Wait a minute.” And fill in what He said to your heart to allow you to act like that toward Mark.”

Jill: Oh, I can remember the day I was literally begging God. I was on my knees and then eventually flat on the floor face down, like I was home alone. My kids were at school and I was just absolutely broken. And I kept saying to God, “You have to tell me what to do. I don’t know what to do. You have to tell me what to do. Tell me what to do!” (Laughing) And I got quiet for a few moments after that and I heard God whisper to my heart, “I want you to love him.”

And I remember immediately I protested. And I said something to the effect of, “I don’t know if You’ve noticed lately, but he’s not real lovable.” And I heard God whisper back to my heart and it wasn’t an audible voice, it was just His truth.

Jim: I know what you mean.

Jill: “You know what, Jill, sometimes you aren’t either.” And I thought, oh, my goodness. “Okay, Lord, You love me when I’m unlovable. So, You’re gonna have to show me how to do this, ’cause I got no clue.”

Jim: Wow.

Jill: I had no clue. And eventually, God took me to Romans 12:9 through 21, very powerful verse. It now has in my Bible, I have the word “unhumanable” written out beside it because it really talks about how to love the hard people in your life. And I’ve returned to that on many occasions outside of my marriage, because there are other places where there are hard people to love.

But that was a very powerful moment. That was the transition for me, where I really felt like, all right, Lord; I’m gonna love him. I don’t know how this is going to turn out, but I am determined that I will do whatever I can do to be the person You want me to be and to save my marriage if it’s possible.

Jim: That’s powerful. Man, it really is powerful. Listen, I want to put some tools in the hands of the folks who are going, “You’re touching my heart. This is me. I’m in that marriage right now. I can either call him or her tonight and say, ‘It’s over,’ or I can try to ask God to give me that kind of love for my spouse.”

You mention in the book, seven “fades” in marriage and these were things that you, I’m sure, were already aware of, but now you’re having to apply them on the battleground.

Mark: Uh-hm.

Jill: We weren’t already aware of ’em.

Jim: So, these are things you learned in the process?

Jill: Because here’s the deal; we were doing all the right things. We knew each other’s love languages. We were going on date nights. We were taking time away for just the two of us. We were doing all the right things and yet, infidelity became a part of our story. And what we realized is, it wasn’t the big things that were robbing us of intimacy. It was the little things, the things that were under the surface, things that were untapped, things that were “untalked” about. And those were pulling our hearts away from each other one centimeter at a time.

Jim: Wow.

Jill: So, you don’t see that. You don’t feel that, but one centimeter becomes two and two becomes three.

Jim: And worse, you feel spiritually healthy.

Jill: Yes.

Jim: You didn’t feel unhealthy necessarily until the breach, to [when] the dam broke.

Jill: Yeah.,

Jim: Let me mention the seven and we’ll post these with your permission on the website, as well.

Jill: Uh-hm, sure.

Jim: And you can pick one or two and I want to get to a couple of other things that you discovered. But unrealistic expectations, that’s a killer, not accepting your spouse as they are.

Jill: Uh-hm.

Jim: –okay, that’s a big one.

Jill: Huge.

Jim: Defensiveness another one.

Jill: Uh-hm.

Jim: These are all so good. Avoiding emotional intimacy.

Jill: Uh-hm.

Jim: I think men particularly struggle with that, particularly men with bad backgrounds, ’cause we’ll just [act like] we’re Marines, right.

Mark and Jill: Uh-hm.

Jim: We’ll just [say], “Hey, we don’t need to talk about it. We’ll just keep movin’.” Minimizing what matters to your spouse, disagreement and simply naiveté, the last one—not protecting your marriage.

Jill: Uh-hm.

Jim: Those are good. They’re almost self-explanatory. I mean, you know what they are when you say them. Give us one that you two struggled with.

Jill: I think minimizing is probably huge. And what we identified is, we are two different minimizers. We’ve identified that there are external minimizers and internal minimizers. External minimizers tend to minimize the thoughts and feelings of others and that tended to be where I sat. I was quick to tell Mark why his feelings were wrong or his concerns were not important. So, I would minimize that.

Mark: I struggled with internal minimizing and what that is, is that core belief that what you think or feel ultimately you aren’t important, so just bury it. And I thought that I didn’t understand that I was truly minimizing. I felt that I was, in not saying anything or doing anything, I was in a sense, keeping the peace.

Jim: Doing the right thing.

Mark: Doing the right thing. It’s really not that big of a deal.

Jim: Right.

Mark: But they compounded to the point that fueled this inner lie that I wasn’t important.

Jim: That’s a real critical one, I think.

Jill: Well, and I love one of the sentences you wrote in the book is, “I thought I was letting it slide, but it wasn’t sliding; it was pooling.”

Mark: Correct, yep.

Jill: And that ultimately caused that distance and that place where he said, “You know what?

Mark: Right, I’m done.

Jill: “I’m done.” And that, I think that’s what happened and that’s the danger of “fades.” That’s why we wanted to write No More Perfect Marriages for all marriages, not just marriages that are in trouble, because we all need to understand those places where our hearts are being separated in a way that we don’t recognize it.

Jim: Right.

Jill: And the more we can do that and turn those “fades” around, with the God tools, the powerful God tools that God gives us, the healthier are our marriages.

Jim: You know, again, we’re out of time. There [are] so many great tools in here—pride, the recognition of what pride does to you in your marriage. These motivations, these statements, these attitudes are coming out of pride, even though we mask them so well in the Christian community to where everybody around us doesn’t know it, but we do.

Mark: Yes.

Jill: Yep.

Jim: Hope is that thing that people, when they lose it, it’s despairing.

Jill: Uh-hm.

Jim: And it’s hard to get up. It’s hard to move forward. And so often with couples that are coming to our Hope Restored intensive counseling effort, that’s the question. Do you believe there is hope that God can restore your marriage? And if they have no hope, it’s hard to work with those couples. So, the key is, even in your grief, in your darkest area, whatever that might be, do you have hope in your heart that God is God, that your circumstances don’t dictate your hope?

Jill: It is.

Jim: It’s hard because we live in our circumstances. We live in the moment with our eyes and ears.

Jill: Uh-hm.

Jim: But God lives in everything and that, too.

Jill: Uh-hm.

Jim: And He’s saying, “Can you trust Me? Can you put your hope in Me? Not your spouse, put your hope in Me.” And Jill, you did it! And Mark, you did it, too in different ways.

Mark: Uh-hm.

Jill: Absolutely.

Jim: You don’t need the scarlet letter. We all wear that.

Mark: Oh, I know.

Jim: And God has taken care of that fact.

Jill: You’re past that point.

Jim: Yeah. (Laughter) Well, and Jesus died for all of us, ’cause we’re all sinners.

Mark: Yes, He took that on, yep.

Jim: And I just want to say thank you for that vulnerability. You’re really good at that as a couple and how many people you will help through this program. And if you’re living in that spot right now, you don’t know what to do, call us. We said it throughout the program. We have kind, caring Christian counselors here. They’ll start the process for you. If you need that deeper intensive counseling, we have Hope Restored. They have an 84.7 post two-year success rate.

Jill: I love that.

Jim: That’s pretty good.

Jill: That’s powerful.

Jim: It’s excellent and it’s just equipping you to do better in knowing your own heart, knowing your flesh, knowing God’s hope for you in Him and then giving you those tools to live life better. And I’m excited for that and thanks to all the folks that help support us, who make it all possible. Thank you.

John: And you can learn more about our counseling team and Hope Restored when you call 800-232-6459; 800, the letter A and the word FAMILY or visit www.focusonthefamily.com/radio for more details. We’ll also have further information about Mark and Jill’s book, No More Perfect Marriages and that list that they described of slow “fades” and you can also get the CD or download of our two-day conversation at the website.

When you get in touch, please consider supporting Focus on the Family. If you’ve been encouraged by a program like this one or a resource that you’ve gotten from us, please help us by kinda paying it forward to help another family or individual in need. Your financial gift today makes this kind of ministry possible, so please give generously today and we’ll say thanks by sending a complimentary copy of Mark and Jill’s book. Donate when you call that 800 number. It’s 800-A-FAMILY or at www.focusonthefamily.com/radio.

Jim: Mark and Jill, thank you for your transparency, your vulnerability. Many, many couples are gonna be touched by this and it’s because you’ve been able to share so honestly about who you are, because honestly, you’re just like us.

Jill: Uh-hm.

Jim: And I appreciate that so much. Thanks for bein’ with us.

Jill: Thanks for havin’ us.

Mark: Thank you.

 

Closing:

And coming up next time on “Focus on the Family,” Dr. Meg Meeker will urge men to connect with their kids.

Excerpt:

Dr. Meg Meeker: Your child is screaming at you every single day, “Dad, please come out. I need you.” “Dad, whatever you have, please give it to me. I need you.”

End of Excerpt

John: I’m John Fuller and on behalf of Focus president, Jim Daly and the entire team, thanks for listening. Join us again next time, as we once again, help you and your family thrive in Christ.

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Unexpected Choice is told from the perspective of a doctor who actually performed abortions through Planned Parenthood. The book chronicles her journey from being a pro-choice physician to someone speaking on behalf of the pro-life movement.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 2

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

Cherishing Your Spouse Every Day

Do you love your spouse, or do you truly cherish them? Gary Thomas encourages couples to make a daily effort to go beyond the ‘duty’ of love, and combat the natural inclination to drift apart, by choosing to see the best in their spouse.

Mr. Gary Thomas

Gary Thomas is an international speaker and best-selling, award-winning author whose books include Married SexSacred Marriage and Sacred Parenting. He has also written numerous articles for several prominent national magazines. Gary and his wife, Lisa, reside in Texas and have three children. You can learn more about Gary by visiting his website, www.garythomas.com.

cherish front cover

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

“Most marriages survive by gritting teeth and holding on. But marriages can and will not only survive but thrive when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another.” Those are the powerful words of bestselling author Gary Thomas in his newest book–Cherish. And in a world desperate for marriage redemption, it is needed now more than ever. Thomas shows that although there are a countless number of marriages consisting of two people just going through the motions, there are real ways this pattern can be reversed: when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another in proven, loving, and everyday actions and words.

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 2: Heroes Providing Hope

Discover the amazing work our PRC’s Directors, Nurses, and Volunteers are making in their communities! You’ll see firsthand testimonies of a PRC in action, and that there are other options outside of abortions! You’ll also discover how your family can support your local PRC!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 4: Sometimes the Choice is Hard

Hear real life stories of parents who have made the decision to choose life even though the circumstances were overwhelming. You’ll see why “ALL” life is precious to God and why choosing life is always the right decision!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 3: The Power of a Picture

Have you ever wondered what a baby looked like in the womb? With today’s technology, Moms and Dads can see the baby’s heartbeat, facial expressions, and movements! You’ll find out why more women choose life once they hear their baby’s heartbeat and realize it’s a real living human!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 5: It’s Going to be Amazing!

After a couple has chosen life, hear the heartwarming stories of children that culture would have cast aside, yet are making tremendous impacts in their communities. Whether the diagnosis was adverse or the circumstances were difficult, these stories will inspire you to come along side of families who have chosen life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 6: Families Helping Families!

So, after all you’ve seen through the SeeLife ‘21 Episodic journey; what can you do now? We’ll share how you can partner with some amazing organizations that are making significant impacts in the pro-life movement! You want to Celebrate Life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 2

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Effective Habits to Embrace in Parenting

To be an effective parent, you must be a leader in your child’s life, guiding with a gentle hand and setting a solid example. Dr. Randy Schroeder provides the insight you need to be a leader-parent. As he explores the foundational Rs—relationship, routines, responsibilities, and rules—you’ll better understand the role you play in your child’s life. You’ll learn great phrases to employ such as “Either/Or/You Decide” and “When You/Then You”. While there is no perfect parent, this nuts-and-bolts material will equip you to lead your child in a loving, confident manner.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder has spent more than four decades writing, counseling, speaking, and teaching. For nearly 25 years, he was Vice President of Student Personnel Services, Dean of Students, and a professor of pastoral counseling at Concordia Theological Seminary in Fort Wayne, Ind. He’s also led a successful counseling practice helping individuals, couples, and families to thrive in their lives and relationships.

Cover image of Dr. Randall Schroeder's book "Simple Habits for Effective Parenting"

Simple Habits for Effective Parenting

Effective parenting is now within your grasp! With this inspiring how-to comprehensive book, achieve extraordinary results in raising a child to be self-assured, self-reliant, and responsible! You will be able to successfully lead and lovingly encourage your child toward a Godly life!

The Spiritual Battle for Your Marriage

God designed marriage to reflect His love to the world; and because of this, the enemy wants to destroy God’s beautiful design. Based on his book, Defending Your Marriage, Dr. Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff share about the reality of spiritual warfare against marriages, and how to combat the enemy’s lies with the truth of God. Couples will be encouraged that they’re not alone in the fight for a godly marriage and better equipped to be a shining example for the world around them.

Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff Cropped

Dr. Tim and Mrs. Noreen Muehlhoff

Dr. Tim Muehlhoff is a professor of communication at Biola University in La Mirada, California where he teaches classes in family communication, interpersonal communication, apologetics, gender, and conflict resolution.  Tim and his wife, Noreen, are both on staff with Biola’s Center for Marriage and Relationships  where he is a co-host of The Art of Relationship podcast. 

Defending Your Marriage

Is your marriage under attack? Sometimes it can feel like the world is trying to tear your marriage apart. Internal conflicts or external pressures might make you wonder if something sinister is going on. How can you tell if you’re facing spiritual opposition? And what can you do about it? Tim Muehlhoff provides a straightforward resource for protecting your marriage from the threats of the evil one. He looks at what Scripture says about spiritual warfare and how our everyday struggles have deeper spiritual realities. And he provides practical steps for guarding our marriages with the whole armor of God.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 1

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 2

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 2

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage - Part 2

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 2

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Embracing Your Role as a Spouse

As a spouse, you have three roles to play—a friend, a partner, and a lover. On this one-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Pastor Kevin A. Thompson explores those different roles and challenges you to live them out by investing emotionally, physically, and mentally in your relationship. As friends, he suggests we learn to play and laugh together. As partners, he equips us with solid ways to handle conflict and communication. As lovers, he offers some thoughts on how to bring back the sizzle. He shares five keys to saving your marriage: humility, respect, mercy, communication, and resilience. You’ll be encouraged to intentionally invest in your marriage.

Headshot of Kevin Thompson

Pastor Kevin Thompson

Kevin A. Thompson (MDiv, Beeson Divinity School) is lead pastor at Community Bible Church, a growing multi-site church with four locations in western Arkansas. Every year he meets with nearly one hundred couples with a range of needs, from pre-marital counseling to navigating the most serious betrayals. A marriage and parenting conference speaker, he and his wife, Jenny, have two children and live in Fort Smith, Arkansas. He blogs at kevinathompson.com.

Cover image of Kevin Thompson's book "Friends, Partners & Lovers"

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

With engaging stories and clear, simple language, pastor Kevin Thompson shows how to live out three distinct roles in marraige. Using solid biblical principles, he helps you and your spouse grow your friendship, be supportive partners through the good times and the bad, and develop a healthy and satisfying sex life.

Sharing Your Faith with Grace and Purpose

You can confidently and lovingly share your faith—you just need to learn some new tactics to do so! In this Focus on the Family Daily Broadcast, apologist Greg Koukl outlines the “Columbo” tactic of asking questions, the “self-defeating argument” tactic to find holes in your opponent’s arguments, and other specific methods for engaging in faith-building conversations with others. Greg pulls from his over 30 years of experience debating atheists and agnostics to help you share your faith with grace and truth.

Mr. Greg Koukl

Greg Koukl is a writer, public speaker and talk show host who’s spent 30 years advocating for and defending the Christian worldview. Greg has written or contributed to 15 books, including The Story of RealityTactics, and Precious Unborn Human Persons. Greg has published nearly 230 articles and has spoken on 80 college and university campuses in the U.S. and abroad.

Tactics front cover

Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition: A Game Plan for Discussing Your Christian Convictions

In a world increasingly indifferent to Christian truth, followers of Christ need to be equipped to communicate with those who do not speak their language or accept their source of authority. In Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition, Gregory Koukl demonstrates how to artfully regain control of conversations, keeping them moving forward in constructive ways through thoughtful diplomacy. You’ll learn how to stop challengers in their tracks and how to turn the tables on questions or provocative statements. Most important, you’ll learn how to get people thinking about Jesus.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 1

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Giving up Sugar, Tasting God's Goodness

As a latchkey kid, Wendy Speake turned to sugar for comfort. Every Friday, she would pedal to the candy show and use her allowance to fill her bag with candy. And one day, when she was older and a mom of three young boys, she came to realize that she was still “pedaling” away from her stress and using sugar as comfort, instead of turning to Jesus. She was joyless, worn out, tired, and in need of a change. In this interview, Wendy will challenge Christians to take 40 days to focus on fasting from something they turn to instead of Jesus for comfort. She invited people to break free from a dependence on sugar and taste the goodness of God.

Author Wendy Speake smiling as she holds up her book "The 40-Day Social Media Fast"

Mrs. Wendy Speake

With a background in Hollywood as a trained actress, Wendy Speake ministers to women as a bible teacher by applying the power of drama, poetry and comedy to the study of Scripture and real-life application of biblical truths. She has co-authored two books with Amber Lia titled Triggers: Exchanging Parents’ Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses and their latest, Parenting Scripts: When What You’re Saying Isn’t Working, Say Something New. Wendy is also the co-author (with Kelli Stuart) of Life Creative: Inspiration for Today’s Renaissance Mom.

Cover image of the book "The 40-Day Sugar Fast"

The 40-Day Sugar Fast: Where Physical Detox Meets Spiritual Transformation

Welcome to the 40-Day Sugar Fast, a fast that begins with us giving Jesus our sugar and ends with Jesus giving us himself–the only thing that can ever truly satisfy our soul’s deep hunger. On this 40-day journey you’ll learn how to stop fixating on food and other things you use to fill the voids in life and instead fix your eyes on Christ. Anyone who runs to sugar for comfort or a reward, who eats mindlessly or out of boredom, who feels physically and spiritually lethargic, or who struggles with self-control will discover here not only freedom from their cravings but an entirely new appetite for the good things God has for us.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 2

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 2

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

Reconciling Faith and Science in a Medical Crisis

Dr. Lee Warren is a neurosurgeon who has faced many heavy challenges in his life – from serving in the Iraq War to removing deadly brain tumors to experiencing the loss of a teenage son. He’ll share about his difficult quest to find answers to some of life’s toughest questions, while holding onto his faith in God and the sure hope of heaven

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. W. Lee Warren

Dr. Lee Warren

W. Lee Warren, M.D., is a brain surgeon , inventor, Iraq War veteran, and author of I’ve Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon’s Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know, winner of the Christian Book Award®. His previous book, No Place to Hide, was included on the 2015 U.S. Air Force Chief of Staff’s Recommended Reading List. Dr. Warren has appeared on The 700 Club and the CBS Evening News, and his writings have been featured in Guideposts magazine. His Dr. Lee Warren Podcast, which is heard in more than 60 countries, helps listeners use the power of neuroscience, faith, and common sense to change their lives.

Cover image of Dr. Lee Warren's book "I've Seen the End of You"

I've Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon's Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know

This gripping inspirational memoir grapples with the tension between faith and science—and between death and hope—as a seasoned neurosurgeon faces insurmountable odds and grief both in the office and at home.

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 1

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 1

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage Part 1

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 1

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 1

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

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Newest Release - Episode 1: The Truth About Life!

In this episode, we will tackle tough questions like, “When does life begin?” and “What does the Bible
say about Life?” You’ll discover and understand the stages of pre-born life and that babies are more than
just a clump of cells!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!