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He sorted through the mail, pressed the latest bill on the table, and looked at me with compassion in his eyes. My husband, Kevin, knew full well that our medical debt stirred up huge amounts of anxiety within me—not exactly something for which I was giving thanks.
“We’ll get through this,” he assured me.
I wasn’t so sure.
What happened to us? How did we get here? And how would we ever cope with this financial stress?
The truth is, we had encountered one crisis after another through no fault of our own. And, I have to admit, we had become hit-and-miss tithers. All because of fear.
But when is fear ever a good motivator for a Christian?
Believing God’s promises
Right in the midst of our storm, we decided that we either needed to live like God’s promises were true or we needed to stop referring to ourselves as believers. If we could trust Jesus with our eternity, surely we could trust Him with our finances, right?
Honestly, we’d seen time and time again throughout our marriage how unbelief impacted our relationship. When we feared our circumstances more than we trusted God’s promises, we pulled inward and even away from each other—never with a good result. And, when we fixed our eyes on what we wanted instead of thanking God for what we already possessed, we missed the wonder of His goodness in the here and now. Our small-mindedness made us cling to all the wrong things.
Reasons to give thanks
We needed to pause and simply remember that Jesus opens His hands and promises provision for us. We have every reason to give thanks, and His goodness makes us grateful.
I looked around and saw evidence of God’s kindness right in front of me. The more I thanked Him for the blessings in my life, the more clearly I saw my life from His perspective. I realized that ingratitude binds me and blinds me, whereas thankfulness frees me to see more clearly what’s actually true about God’s involvement in our circumstances.
So, in that place of financial hardship and instability, Kevin and I got down on our knees, bowed our heads, and asked God’s forgiveness for allowing our fears to get in the way of our obedience. Then, we resolved to live with gratitude and never hold back the tithe.
God whispered to both our hearts, “I want you to keep an eye open for those around you. There will always be someone within your reach you can help. You always possess more than you know, and I intend to meet some of the world’s needs through you.”
Living with gratitude
That moment, all those years ago, changed everything for us. Kevin and I got up from that place with grateful hearts and a renewed perspective. We determined we would give thanks to God as a way of life, and we would be on the lookout for those who were in need of what God had given us.
After 30 years of marriage, we’ve experienced many of the benefits of living a grateful life. Choosing an attitude of gratitude and awe in marriage changes so many things.
We’ve learned that:
- Gratitude brings a godly perspective.
- Gratitude is good for your health (physically, emotionally, and spiritually).
- Gratitude is contagious.
- Gratitude pleases the heart of God.
- Gratitude inspires generosity.
The holiday season is a perfect time to count your blessings and offer thanksgiving to our good God. See if your heart change doesn’t impact your mood, your relationships, and your perspective. You may even be surprised to find that expressing gratitude to God will make a difference in your marriage. Go on—give thanks!
Using your blessings to be a blessing to others
I host a daily talk show on Faith Radio. A while back, Andy Crouch, author and executive editor of Christianity Today, joined me on the show. He talked about the importance of stewarding the power that God has entrusted to us.
He explained how some who hold positions of influence use their power in corrupt ways. They leverage their position to benefit themselves even though others may pay a price. But Jesus did the exact opposite. He leveraged His power, and it cost Him everything so we might gain eternity. What amazing love!
Once Andy clarified in our interview that he believes we all have power and influence to varying degrees, he posed a question that’s never left me. He said we must dare to ask ourselves: Who flourishes because I have power?
Another way to say this might be, Who flourishes because God has been good to me? Who do I bless because I have been blessed?
Whether we’re talking as individuals or as married couples, it can be easy to commit the sin of comparison and then feel that we lack compared to those who seem to have it all. Honestly, we’re all more blessed than we know or realize, and we have the potential to be more influential than we can imagine.
And that’s where living a life of gratitude makes a difference. When we’re grateful, we can more clearly see how rich we really are. As we take note of God’s goodness in our own lives, we can be a blessing to others. Have you and your spouse committed to giving God thanks on a regular basis? Could thanksgiving be a new way of life for you? Have you agreed together to be on the lookout for those who are in need of what God has given you?
May we all reject attitudes such as ingratitude, self-pity, fear, and envy. Instead, may we embrace a grateful heart—today and every day. May we choose to be a blessing to others out of the blessing God has shared with us. May we live generously and wholeheartedly because we serve a God who is so very good to us.
