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Making Peace With Unfulfilled Dreams

Air Date 03/08/2019

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If, when you were younger, you had big hopes and dreams for your life that haven't come true, author Chrystal Evans Hurst will encourage you to believe that it's never too late to re-discover your identity in God and reclaim those dreams from long ago.

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Episode Transcript

Opening:

Excerpt:

Chrystal Evans Hurst: You may think it’s too late, but if it’s still in you, it’s not. I think if we will just honor with what we know, even if it’s just one step, then God continues to light our path with what He wants to teach us after.

End of Excerpt

John Fuller: That’s Chrystal Evans Hurst. And she’s our guest today on Focus on the Family, with your host Focus president and author Jim Daly. And I’m John Fuller.

Jim Daly: You know, as a little girl, so many of you listening right now probably had big hopes and dreams for your life. You envisioned what you wanted to be when you grew up. You imagined what your spouse might be like and, uh, maybe even the number of children you’d have when you got married. And then one day, reality sets in, and those dreams no longer seem attainable; they’re out of your reach. Those aspirations disappear with everyday circumstances and responsibilities. And that heart of your inner child is swept aside as you grow up and take your place in the world with all the things that you do as an adult.

Today, we want to help you, uh, deal with those unfulfilled dreams and learn to rekindle your childhood aspirations by obeying God and making the most of everyday life. Um, the apostle Paul put it best in Philippians 4:11 where he said, “For I have learned in whatever situation I am in to be content.” And, of course, that’s a process. But Chrystal Evans Hurst is here to help all of us get on that path today. She’s been on that road of discontentment before, and she understands what you may be facing. And her insights and advice are going to be worthwhile.

John: Mmhmm. Chrystal is a gifted writer, a speaker, a worship leader. And, uh, she is the eldest child of our good friend Dr. Tony Evans and his wife, Lois. And, uh, Chrystal is married to Jessie. They have five children. And, Jim, she’s also a grandmother as well.

Body:

Jim: Amazing. Chrystal, welcome to Focus.

Chrystal: Thank you so much for having me.

Jim: We love, uh, your dad. He’s been on the program many, many times. And your mom - what a wonderful, uh, heritage that they have given you kids, I hope, but not without pain I’m sure, right? So give us a little secret insight into Dr. Tony Evans, being the daughter.

(LAUGHTER)

Chrystal: Well, you know, I always say is - it’s very true, and I - it’s - I’m not just saying this because, you know, it’s the right thing to say it’s true - he was always dad first before he was Dr. Tony Evans.

Jim: Yeah.

Chrystal: And because we really didn’t see, um, you know, a major difference between - or minor difference between who he was at church and who he was at home, um, he was always dad first. And he always put the commitment that he had to our spiritual health as a family, um, first. I mean, it was very clear that he was interested not just in the church.

Jim: Uh, what are you hearing from women about the unfulfilled dreams in their lives? Really, your book basis - She’s Still There.

Chrystal: Well, the main thing I would say is that there are women who feel lost. It’s not that there’s not good stuff happening in their life, or it may be bad, but the common statement is, “I’m kind of lost in the middle of my life,” uh, whether those be unfulfilled dreams, or “I started fulfilling them and got off track,” or “I never believed that the dreams that I had were capable - I was capable of fulfilling them.” And so, um, the hope that I wanted to offer women in this book was that, uh, loss does not mean that you’re without life. And if you still have life, if you still have breath, then it’s never too late to look at what God wants to do in and through you.

Jim: Let’s look at your life as an example of what you’re talking about. Um, what was it like in the early days? What were you dreaming about as a little girl?

Chrystal: You know what? I’m one of those people that probably had, like, 25 dreams, actually.

(LAUGHTER)

Jim: Twenty-five things you wanted to be.

Chrystal: Twenty-five things I wanted to be. But here...

(LAUGHTER)

Chrystal: Here’s the connective tissue.

Jim: That’s normal.

Chrystal: The connective tissue is that I’m firstborn, typical achiever type. And so, um, I definitely wanted to just go hard and far with whatever that thing would be. Actress, singer, writer, teacher, author - those were all on the list. Um, the challenge was, I just made some choices in my late teenage years, um, that rendered a lot of those - like, can I actually get up from that? And so that was kind of my lost feeling in life. Can I actually be the best at whatever God wants me to be given my circumstances?

Jim: Well, in that case, to fill that picture in a little bit, because I think a lot of women will relate to that experience, describe what was happening in your teenage years.

Chrystal: Sure. I - um, at 19, I had my first daughter. I was single. I was in college. And so the question then becomes, how can the daughter or one of the daughters of Tony Evans, um, you know, end up as a teenage mom? I remember actually sitting with my dad at the table, and we would watch shows on TV, and he would talk about statistics. And I remember him saying to me, “I just” - and saying to all of us - “I just don’t want you to be a statistic.” And I remember thinking that at 19 - how did I become a statistic? Um, the reality is it was just teenage love, and I was at college with the guy and did not handle that freedom well. Um, a lot of people will make assumptions that “Oh, yup, you know, those preacher’s kids, you know, they just are shut up, and then as soon as they get out, they go wild.” That actually wasn’t my story. I was actually a pretty good kid, wanted to do the right thing, um, was committed to my relationship with the Lord, but we all make mistakes.

So at 19, I had my first daughter. She’s 26 now. And while I worked hard to finish school because I’m an achiever, I do remember thinking, “Can I actually recover who I was supposed to be? Can I move forward in my life because of this?” And I felt lost for a long time because of that.

Jim: Yeah. I mean, and, again, I think a lot of women in that spot made mistakes, maybe not all in the sexual area...

Chrystal: Sure.

Jim: ...But certainly made mistakes in one way or another. How does that little girl inside you begin to die, I guess, in some ways? Because all of a sudden, now you have all this responsibility and big decisions to make. How do you cope with that? When you were 19, what - how did that conversation go with your mom and dad?

Chrystal: Oh, well, um, yeah, probably still to this day, that’s probably one of the hardest conversations - well, I’ll say it is the hardest conversation I’ve ever had to have. I think I called my house - has to have been seven or eight times.

Jim: Yeah, and hung up?

Chrystal: And my dad kept picking up the phone.

Jim: Yeah.

Chrystal: And I kept saying, “Where’s mom? Tell me when Mom’s gonna be home” because I was like, “I can’t tell my dad!”

(LAUGHTER)

Jim: Yeah.

Chrystal: Um, and when my mom finally called me back and she said “Chrystal, what’s wrong? Daddy said you’ve been calling all day. What’s going on?” - and I just started crying. And I didn’t even have to tell her. She said, “Are you pregnant?”

Jim: Oh.

Chrystal: And then she ended up handing the phone to my dad. And I could hear the big sigh in his voice, and then he just said, “Okay, well” - because this is typical Tony Evans - “Okay, well, you know, it’ll be okay. We’ll just have to figure out where we go from here.”

Jim: Wow.

Chrystal: He’s always moving forward. Um, so from that point on, it became about making sure that I was okay, making sure - um, “Can you continue school?” What can they do to help me continue in school? And we just kept moving forward. But I think the feeling of disappointment - the problem is - to answer your first question - the problem is, um, for us, as people, when we make decisions that align with someone we think we’re not, that creates an identity crisis. The person I think I am wouldn’t do these things. So if I’m doing these things, then I must not be that person. Well, then who am I? And if we’re not careful, whatever we think the person who took those actions would do, we might start identifying with that person instead.

Jim: It’s really well-said, Chrystal. How do you, at 19 - at that time, how do you process your relationship with the Lord? There’s gonna be many women that have gone through maybe an abortion or something else...

Chrystal: Yeah.

Jim: ...Something devastating that they never anticipated. They didn’t think they were that person.

Chrystal: Mmhmm.

Jim: They didn’t think they’d have to make that kind of decision.

Chrystal: Mmhmm.

Jim: How, as a believer in Christ, do you move through those things, much like King David? I mean, he would not qualify as an elder in the church today.

John: Hm.

(LAUGHTER)

Jim: Yet he was a man after God’s own heart.

Chrystal: Right.

Jim: Being the daughter of a famous pastor - your dad - how do you work through that? How do you get back on track and not allow the enemy to just keep you pinned down?

Chrystal: Well, that’s the reason why I wrote She’s Still There, because in Kingdom Woman, I grazed over the fact that I was a single parent. I didn’t want to spend a whole lot of time on it, didn’t think anybody was that interested in it. And because, um, that became actually one of the most frequently asked questions - so Kingdom Woman - “But wait a minute, you were a single parent. Oh, wait, you were a teenage mom. How did you bridge that gap between who God says you are and what your circumstances may have been telling you - who they were telling you you were?” And so when you say, “You know, how do we get through that, and how do we identify with what the Lord says?” I mean, that is the answer. It’s identifying. And by identify, I really mean rehearsing what He says about you - that if there are voices in your head based on what you see in your life that are telling you you’re something different than what He calls you, then you have to combat that with what He says about you.

Jim: Yeah.

Chrystal: He says we are fearfully and wonderfully made. He says we are loved. We are precious in His sight. There are so many Scriptures in the Bible that speak to how He sees us. And when we don’t feel that way, the problem only comes in when we let our feet be, uh, moved by our feelings and not by the facts of what God says.

Jim: Yeah.

Chrystal: So you literally do have to renew your mind - Romans 12 - with what the word of God says about you until you saturate your mind with what He says, and those saturations drip down to your heart and eventually affect what you do with your feet.

Jim: Well, and I think, you know, it is a process. We said that at the start of the program.

Chrystal: Yeah.

Jim: Sanctification is a process. I think in parenting, uh, one of the errors we can make is we expect our teenagers to be 40-year-old Christians...

(LAUGHTER)

Jim: ...Or 50-year-old Christians.

Chrystal: Right.

Jim: And they haven’t lived life yet. And you can see the mistakes. You can see the errors. I so appreciate your dad’s sigh. I think I would feel the same way - that sigh of, “Oh,” and then, “Okay...”

Chrystal: Yeah.

Jim: ...And then, “Let’s make right choices from here.”

Chrystal: Even more than the sigh, at some point later, he looked me square in the eye. We were sitting face to face, and he just said, “What did we do wrong?”

Jim: Ah, wow.

Chrystal: “What did we do wrong?” Like...

Jim: How did you answer that question?

Chrystal: Uh, I answered it the way I felt, which is the truth. I just said, “Nothing. Um, nothing. And I wish I could offer you some explanation, some connective tissue.” Now I can articulate that Adam and Eve had the perfect parent...

Jim: Yeah.

Chrystal: ...Um, perfect parents, which there are none. But perfect parents, if there is such a thing, don’t necessarily render perfect kids.

Jim: It’s not a formula.

Chrystal: There’s not a formula.

Jim: You know, in that context, you think about it - God gives everybody free will.

Chrystal: That’s right.

Jim: This is the big decision.

Chrystal: We get to choose.

Jim: When you’re a parent, you create life.

Chrystal: That’s right.

Jim: God’s given you the ability to create life. And you do that. And then this child comes, and there’s no stamp, there’s no formula.

Chrystal: That’s right.

Jim: And you can do everything really well and still have a child that, uh, doesn’t choose the direction you would want them to choose.

Chrystal: Listen; I was just telling my boys at the kitchen table - we - we home-school. And so every morning, they have to listen to me do a diatribe of whatever God...

(LAUGHTER)

Chrystal: ...Has been teaching me. And I said to them, “You know, listen; between - don’t take offense to this, boys, but between 15 and 25, those are potentially the dumbest years of your life. Literally, the frontal lobe is not formed until you’re...”

Jim: Yeah.

Chrystal: “...In your mid-20s. My prayer is that during what could be the dumbest years of your life that you would not make mistakes - because we all make mistakes - that would impact your life in a hugely negative...”

Jim: Yeah.

Chrystal: “...Way for the rest of your life. But the reality is I have to teach you what I know, pray over you and realize that you get to choose. My prayer is that you make wise choices.”

Jim: You know, before we move on in the story - and we will - um, here at Focus on the Family, we have a really successful program to save babies’ lives called Option Ultrasound. We’ve just hit a milestone of 425,000 babies saved. And we’re hoping, with the help of our listeners and supporters, to save many more. It takes only $60 to help a mom choose life and save her baby from abortion. In your situation, Chrystal, you chose life. Wrap that in a little bit of a bow for the woman listening, that mom listening, who might have a teenage daughter or maybe even that daughter who’s listening herself. Why was it good for you to choose life over the termination of that child?

Chrystal: Well, the Sunday that, um, a lot of the people at my church found out that I was pregnant, there was a friend of mine that came up to me, and she had been a youth worker - a voluntary youth program. She came up to me, and she hugged me. And she says, “I know it feels bad today, but it won’t feel like this forever.”

Jim: Right.

Chrystal: So now that daughter, uh, that I had at 19 is 26. That’s the same daughter who has had two children that has made me a grandmother. And I delight in that daughter, not only as my daughter, but also as my friend. So the thing is we have to look beyond. If you’re in that situation, then that’s a choice you get to make - look beyond today. The way it looks today is not the way it will be forever. But for the person who is not facing the choice but has made that choice, you have to understand that God knew not only who you would be but what you would do before He ever allowed you to live. He knew the outcome of all of your choices, and He still said the blood of Jesus would cover all of your sin - the little ones and the big ones.

Jim: That’s right.

Chrystal: You have to receive that.

John: Well, you’re gonna find more encouragement from Chrystal Evans Hurst in her book She’s Still There: Rescuing the Girl in You. We’ve got copies of that, and we have information about our Option Ultrasound program. You can donate to help us do that - um, details at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast, or call 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY.

Jim: Chrystal, um, moving into the story a little further - so you’ve had this little girl. Um, you eventually get married. Um, there was a time when your husband lost his job. And these are typical things that many of us go through that, you know, it feels like that little girl inside you, the dreamer, when you were 8, 9, 12, um, all of those big dreams become small or, poof, they’re gone. This was another moment in your life where you felt, like, a squashing of the dream. What happened with your husband? And what kind of pressure did you feel at that time?

Chrystal: Well, we - my husband had worked, and he traveled a lot for a living. Um, he actually had a series of health challenges that made it unable for him to continue in what he had been doing. And I remember sitting there looking at the numbers and looking at everything that was in the red in Excel, thinking, “Whoa, how is this gonna work?” But here’s the thing; the lesson that I learned in my 20s, which was that - because the majority of my 20s I was a single mom - which was that God actually does still love me. I learned that gradually. I learned how to identify with His care for me.

Jim: Yeah.

Chrystal: That was what I remembered to grab a hold of in my 30s faced with a different - so I felt the same panic, but I had the experience of God’s love for me and His - His willingness to rescue me from circumstances even that I created for myself. So I was able to feel the panic but then remember the trust that I can have in a God who promises to take care.

Jim: You know, you’ve touched on this, and it’s something I’m learning more and more every time I speak to a woman who has gone through difficulty. The capacity for women to look at their own hearts first, to, in some ways, wear the guilt of their circumstances, it’s an amazing thing. I think we men, we shove it off. Our egos are too big to say, you know, “Yeah, it was the other guy’s fault.” Women own it. They - they dwell on it. They think about it. Speak to the woman who is experiencing that kind of valley right now, and she’s feeling guilt. She’s feeling maybe shame that, you know, she and her husband or their family aren’t doing as well or whatever the circumstances might be. How does she rise above that and feel like a daughter of the king - you know, that these are just temporary, like you mentioned? But how does a woman truly get above the enemy’s taunt? You know, “Are you really special? I don’t think so.”

Chrystal: Yes. Well, here’s the thing. When you think about the enemy’s taunt, one of the things he taunted Eve with was “Did God really say?” So the antidote...

Jim: Yeah, that’s true.

Chrystal: ...For the lies of the enemy is, what did God say? So the first thing I always tell a woman is, “Be honest about how you feel,” first of all, ‘cause He already knows. There’s no shame in being scared, hurt, afraid, feeling ashamed, feeling guilty. Be honest. But then you have to go - what if the enemy asked the question, “What does God say?” So be honest. But then search the Scriptures. What does God say about guilt? What does God say about shame? What does He say about care of the ones that He loves? What does He say? Because then when you are able, again, to rehearse what He says in combat with your feelings, that’s where the victory is.

Jim: Yeah. You, uh, had a little bike ride across the Golden Gate Bridge...

(LAUGHTER)

Jim: ...That eliminated this for you.

Chrystal: Still have the marks to prove it.

(LAUGHTER)

Jim: Yeah. So what happened?

Chrystal: Well, I’m a little bit of an adventure seeker, and I crossed over the San Francisco Bay Golden Gate Bridge, started heading downhill. I had done it before. Um, and the brakes were a little tight, so when I tapped on them, I went flying over the bicycle...

Jim: Oh, man.

Chrystal: ...Hitting my head. But here’s the thing. I - I’m a determined person. I’m an achiever.

(LAUGHTER)

Chrystal: So I was like...

Jim: You’re firstborn.

Chrystal: “...We’re gonna make it. Put a Band-Aid on it, and let’s keep going.” And my daughter, who was with me, said, “Mom, I don’t think we should.” And I looked down and see the blood on my shirt and realize that my finger is misshapen, and I can’t straighten out my elbow.

Jim: Oh, jeez.

Chrystal: And even when the - when the paramedic arrives, I’m still trying to convince him, “Can you just follow me down the hill? And then when I get down there, then can you take me to the...”

Jim: Yeah, fix my broken bones.

Chrystal: But that’s what we do. So many of us won’t stop to say, “This hurts.”

Jim: Wow.

Chrystal: How can God heal what you won’t admit is painful?

Jim: But, you know, in that context, those physical symptoms are obvious. What about the spiritual and emotional...

Chrystal: Absolutely.

Jim: ...Signals?

Chrystal: Well, again, I did not realize until I looked - see, the - the issue is we don’t make the time to look. We are so busy, and we are so - if we feel the pangs of anything, we just push past it.

Jim: Yeah.

Chrystal: We have to create the space and the margin to look. Another great indicator is that when people who love you - your husband, your kids, your friends, your family - all start asking you, “Are you okay? Is there something wrong? You know, are you okay today?” That’s probably an indicator, too. But making the space to pay attention to your life is the key.

Jim: Yeah. You use an acronym in the book, She’s Still There. Uh, It’s GAIN. Let’s dig into that a little bit. What’s the acronym stands for, and what can women take away from GAIN?

Chrystal: Sure. The G is for gifts. A is abilities. I is for your interests. And N is for your nature or personality. Each one of us, we know we’re unique, we have a fingerprint, and there’s all these unique things physically about us. But we all have unique souls. And when we were born, God gave us gifts, the capacity for abilities, certain passions and personalities that are different. If we want to see what God wants to do with our life, the very first place we can look obviously is His word for His explicit instructions. But the second place is looking in you. What did He give you? Because we each are wired differently. We each are attracted to different things from a passion perspective, and we are naturally gifted at different things. So what did God set you forward to do in terms of just how He wired you? And how are you using what He gave you? And as you look at that, you gain new perspective on your life.

Jim: Yeah. You had a funny story in the book I loved - uh, reaching for - I think it was an almond Hershey chocolate bar.

Chrystal: Yup.

(LAUGHTER)

Chrystal: Dark chocolate almonds now but...

Jim: But the Lord uses...

Chrystal: ...Same thing.

(LAUGHTER)

Jim: He’ll use anything to teach us a lesson, right?

John: I think God uses chocolate a lot...

(LAUGHTER)

John: ...Frankly.

Chrystal: He uses chocolate a lot for me.

Jim: But in this case, I can so relate. And I think I’ve finally figured out how to solve this. But you are reaching for this bar in your car. Tell us what happened.

Chrystal: Well, I’m reaching and thinking, “I can reach it.” And in reaching for it, I did reach it, but the hand that was on the steering wheel shifted with the reach...

Jim: Right.

Chrystal: ...Which meant I ran off the road. And I was totally okay. But it wasn’t until a few miles later I realized that my car wasn’t okay because the exhaust pipe had been knocked into the median and was blowing smoke and - out of my car. At a gas station a few miles down the road, my car caught on fire because of all the heat...

Jim: Oh, my.

Chrystal: ...That was going into the bumper.

Jim: That’s an expensive chocolate bar.

(LAUGHTER)

Chrystal: Yes, it was. And I just remember thinking...

John: Probably.

Chrystal: ...Looking at my car, “Was the chocolate worth it?” Um...

(LAUGHTER)

Chrystal: But how many times do we wreck something in our life reaching for something that’s just not that important?

Jim: Well, and you related that to drift...

Chrystal: Yes.

Jim: ...Which I love.

Chrystal: Yes.

Jim: That idea that you - now, let me just say, the thing that I’ve learned is, just pull over...

Chrystal: Just pull over...

Jim: ...And reach over...

Chrystal: ...And get the chocolate bar!

Jim: ...And get the chocolate!

(LAUGHTER)

Jim: Then keep going. That’s...

Chrystal: Then keep going.

Jim: You know, that’s 50 years of experience there. But, uh...

Chrystal: There you go.

Jim: The point is in life we can drift, we can follow things that pull us away from God’s best. Describe that for us. What were you getting at? That’s my assumption...

Chrystal: Yeah.

Jim: ...Of what you were saying.

Chrystal: That’s absolutely it. We - there are things that we are allowing ourselves to be distracted by. They don’t have to be terrible. But if you’re not paying attention, you’ll look up and be totally - I mean, ‘cause all it takes is a, you know, 1- or 2-degree shift over a long period of time to end up somewhere you never intended to be.

Jim: For a woman, what does that look like? I mean, you’re talking to two husbands...

Chrystal: Sure.

Jim: ...Here.

Chrystal: Sure.

Jim: What does that look like for a woman? Where does she experience that drift?

Chrystal: Oh, well, I think - and, again, all drifts don’t have to be bad, but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t feel a little not great. I think every woman who stayed home with her kids looks up when her kids are grown and thinks, “Okay, now all the things that I meant to do - this was a good drift. It was an intentional drive. I wanted to be at home with my kids. But now that the last one has gone to school, now what am I - where were all the things I wanted to do?” And that feeling of, “I lost track of something.” But drifts can also happen obviously because of little decisions that we make over time, like, for instance, um, really wanting to be in a relationship. And then you look up two years later, you’ve put all this time into this relationship, maybe you were dating a guy, and then you don’t even remember what you were doing before you started giving up things in your life to have all this time to be available with him. That can be a drift. It can be a drift because you need to pay the bills, and there’s a passion that you have that you really want to chase. But because you had to take a job to pay the bills - and it was only supposed to be for a year. And 10 years later, you’ve got that job, you’ve got those benefits. Are you actually gonna get back to what you knew you wanted to do? So for a lot of women, um, it can manifest itself in different ways. The question is once you recognize that you’ve taken a drift to not just feel the sadness of how much time has passed and how far you’ve gone but to figure out what steps can you take to get back on track.

Jim: So for that woman, right at the end here, who, you know, may be saying, “That’s me. Chrystal’s describing where I’m at. I’ve given my life to something that now it’s over, and I don’t know who I am.” You know, I’ve mentioned this often, but, um, the greatest number of divorces are occurring with empty-nest couples because typically - not always, but typically - mom looks up and says, “What am I here for? What’s my purpose? What’s my meaning?” And motherhood seemingly is over at that point, and, uh, she doesn’t know what to do. And she doesn’t know her husband any longer. They’ve drifted, to your point. What can she do, not just in that circumstance...

Chrystal: Sure.

Jim: But what can that woman that this is rattling her right now - she’s saying, “Yeah, I used to have a lot of dreams, and now it’s just down to practicality, getting through the day...”

Chrystal: Yeah.

Jim: “What can I do differently in my routine that makes me feel closer to God, makes me feel passionate about God in my life?”

Chrystal: Yeah.

Jim: “What do I do?”

Chrystal: Well, the first thing is for the woman who is totally lost and has - feels like she has absolutely no clue, the first thing is there’s always usually one thing. There’s one thing. And it may seem tiny and small, but there’s one. So let’s say I don’t know what to do. If you go to church, there are many ministries probably at your church, and you can pick something that you feel like you have some acclimation towards. That’s one thing. As my dad likes to say, “God loves to hit a moving target.”

(LAUGHTER)

Chrystal: And many times...

Jim: That’s good.

Chrystal: ...We don’t get to the next thing because we won’t do the one thing that’s in front of us. Um, but just to refer back to what we said about gaining a new perspective, what passions did God give you that you let lay dormant? Well, get back to some of those. You may think it’s too late, but if it’s still in you, it’s not. I think if we will just honor with what we know, even if it’s just one step, then God continues to light our path with what he wants to teach us after.

Closing:

Jim: Chrystal, I so appreciate the insight and wisdom that you have brought to particularly women today, uh, to men, too, for that matter. Our lost dreams and things we wanted to pursue are still important. And when that day-to-day grind catches up with us, we tend to get discouraged. But this book, She’s Still There, is inspiring. And we’ll get the reader dreaming once more, together.

Again, I come back to how you set your dreams aside, chose life for your baby, and persevered as a single mom. That takes a lot of courage and determination. But it was the right thing to do. And I want to encourage you, our listener, to walk with us over the next few weeks as we lift up the value, the sanctity of human life. We have a whole campaign to better inform and equip you to take a stand for pre-born children, which will culminate with a big event in Times Square on May 4th. We’re calling it “Alive from New York.” And we’re planning to show a live, 4D ultrasound up there on the big screen because we want people to see clearly, the image of a 3rd trimester baby so they can see exactly what’s happening in a mother’s womb.

John: Yeah you can learn more about our Times Square event on May 4th and joining us - it’ll be fantastic, invite your friends and family, and join us in taking a stand for life.

Jim: Yes, and you can support our efforts here at Focus on the Family. And as I mentioned earlier, it takes only $60 to save a baby through our Option Ultrasound program. $60! Imagine saving a life for the cost of one meal out with your family. I’d say it’s worth it. And when you give today, your donation will be doubled thanks to some generous friends of this ministry who really believe in this effort. So your $60 will actually be $120 saving two babies! And as our way of saying thank you for standing for life and helping us save these babies, we’ll send you a copy of Chrystal’s book, She’s Still There.

John: Donate and get your copy of She’s Still There and learn more about the “Alive from New York” event on May 4th when you go online at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast. Or call us. Our number is 800-232-6459. 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY.

Jim: Hey, Chrystal, before we say goodbye, I also want to highlight your 90-day challenge. Why is 90 days significant? And can we really turn the ship in 90 days in terms of our perspective and our attitude?

Chrystal: You might be able to turn the ship in 90 days, but what you can definitely do is move the needle. And so what I say is if you can pick three things that are low-hanging fruit that would move you forward - they don’t have to be the end of the story, just move you forward - what you do is you build momentum, and you start to change the narrative about your own life - that you are a person who can move forward. And then you just keep moving in 90-day increments. To set a goal for a year, that’s long. To set a goal for a month, that’s a little short. Ninety days actually give you time to do it...

Jim: Yeah.

Chrystal: ...And time for you to convince yourself that you’re the person who can actually make changes in your life.

Jim: Yeah, you can make - get a quick win...

Chrystal: That’s right.

Jim: ...And keep winning.

Chrystal: That’s right.

Jim: I love it. Thanks so much for being with us.

Chrystal: Thank you for having me.

John: Well, join us next time as Deb DeArmond discusses the delicate balance of in-law relationships.

Teaser:

Deb DeArmond: And I tell mothers-in-law, “If you make them choose, and you’ve raised them right, he’ll choose his wife, and he’ll break your heart.”

Jim: Right.

Deb: “But if he chooses you, it’ll break God’s heart and perhaps his marriage.”

End of Teaser

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Guest

Chrystal Evans Hurst

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Chrystal Evans Hurst is a talented writer, speaker, and worship leader. As the eldest child of Dr. Tony and Lois Evans, she assists her mom in leading the women's ministry at their family's church, Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship. Chrystal shares her poignant reflections on her faith and day-to-day experiences on her popular blog, Chrystal's Chronicles, and she recently co-authored a book with her dad titled Kingdom Woman. Chrystal and her husband, Jessie, have five children. Learn more about Chrystal at her website, chrystalevanshurst.com.