Earning Their Trust

By Laurie Irons
Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on pinterest
Share on print
Share on email
Courtesy of the Irons family

The Irons' children found healing in the knowledge that their family is never going to leave them.

We began our adoptive journey the same way many parents do – we wanted children, but we struggled with infertility. We adopted our first son, Jeremiah, as an infant. A few years later we were living in Haiti, so we adopted a 4-year-old boy, Wesly, from an orphanage.

Adopting a little boy was different from adopting an infant. Wesly had been supervised, but not parented, so he had developed an aggressive “pack” mentality to deal with orphanage life. We invested a lot of time teaching Wesly how to play nice – no grabbing toys out of another child’s hands or browbeating others into doing what he wanted.

At the orphanage, Wesly was only given two meals a day, usually rice and beans. When he arrived home, Wesly often wanted to raid the kitchen after bedtime. We had to teach him that his needs would always be met, that there was no longer any reason to hoard food or overeat.

Years later — our hands still full parenting active boys – we considered a third adoption: a pair of teenage sisters who had spent nine years in a Mexican orphanage. The government was pressuring the director to move the girls into a home, and there was concern that they might be adopted for the wrong reasons. These girls needed to be rescued. We talked it over as a family. Surprisingly, the boys were excited about the idea.

Having never experienced protective and loving authority figures before, Margarita and Maria were very suspicious of adults. They would often lie to us, or, when angry, say they wanted to go back to the orphanage. We’ve had to painstakingly build these girls’ trust in us as parents. We keep stressing to them that we are in this for their sake, that we are their family. There are still difficult days, but our daughters’ hearts are healing by the knowledge that their family is never going to leave them.

 

Focus on the Family’s Wait No More program prepares hearts and homes for kids in foster care – whether for a season or a lifetime. Everyone who feels called to foster, adopt or support a foster/adoptive family can get involved through our nationwide events and resources. Every day, we help kids in foster care experience the love of family, no matter how long they’ve waited. Learn more at WaitNoMore.org.



© 2010 by Laurie Irons. Used by permission.

Share:
Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on pinterest
Share on print
Share on email

Thank you [field id="first_name"] for signing up to get the free downloads of the Marrying Well Guides. 

Click the image below to access your guide and learn about the counter-cultural, biblical concepts of intentionality, purity, community and Christian compatibility.

(For best results use IE 8 or higher, Firefox, Chrome or Safari)

To stay up-to-date with the latest from Boundless, sign up for our free weekly e-newsletter.


If you have any comments or questions about the information included in the Guide, please send them to [email protected]

Click here to return to Boundless

Focus on the Family

Thank you for submitting this form. You will hear from us soon. 

The Daily Citizen

The Daily Citizen from Focus on the Family exists to be your most trustworthy news source. Our team of analysts is devoted to giving you timely and relevant analysis of current events and cultural trends – all from a biblical worldview – so that you can be inspired and assured that the information you share with others comes from a reliable source.

Alive to Thrive is a biblical guide to preventing teen suicide. Anyone who interacts with teens can learn how to help prevent suicidal thinking through sound practical and clinical advice, and more importantly, biblical principles that will provide a young person with hope in Christ.

Bring Your Bible to School Day Logo Lockup with the Words Beneath

Every year on Bring Your Bible to School Day, students across the nation celebrate religious freedom and share God’s love with their friends. This event is designed to empower students to express their belief in the truth of God’s Word–and to do so in a respectful way that demonstrates the love of Christ.

Focus on the Family’s® Foster Care and Adoption program focuses on two main areas:

  • Wait No More events, which educate and empower families to help waiting kids in foster care

  • Post-placement resources for foster and adoptive families

Christian Counselors Network

Find Christian Counselors, Marriage & Family Therapists, Psychologists, Social Workers and Psychiatrists near you! Search by location, name or specialty to find professionals in Focus on the Family’s Christian Counselors Network who are eager to assist you.

Boundless is a Focus on the Family community for Christian young adults who want to pursue faith, relationships and adulthood with confidence and joy.

Through reviews, articles and discussions, Plugged In exists to shine a light on the world of popular entertainment while giving you and your family the essential tools you need to understand, navigate and impact the culture in which we live.

Have you been looking for a way to build your child’s faith in a fun and exciting way?
Adventures in Odyssey® audio dramas will do just that. Through original audio stories brought to life by actors who make you feel like part of the experience; these fictional, character-building dramas use storytelling to teach lasting truths.

Focus on the Family’s Hope Restored all-inclusive intensives offer marriage counseling for couples who are facing an extreme crisis in their marriage, and who may even feel they are headed for divorce.