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Parenting

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Approaches to Childrearing: Law vs. Grace

Should I raise my kids under a philosophy of law or grace? Since the Gospel is all about grace, doesn’t this suggest that it’s a mistake for Christian parents to raise their children according to a lot of rules and regulations? Paul even tells us, in Galatians 3:24, that the law was nothing but a …

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Our Daughter Is Marrying a Non-Christian

As a Christian father, should I give my daughter away at the wedding if she’s marrying a non-believer? Over the more than twenty years of our marriage we’ve worked hard to raise her in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Her decision has come as a great disappointment to us. We love our daughter, …

Boy reading Bible with sunset in background

What the Bible Says About the “Age of Accountability”

At what point does a child become personally responsible for his or her actions before God? This is not just an academic question; as I see it, your answer will affect how I choose to discipline my children. I know that we’re all born with an inherited sin nature, but I’m not sure what the …

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Child’s Friend Has Questionable Parent

Should I be nervous about letting my elementary-school-age daughter visit a friend’s house? Normally I wouldn’t hesitate to say “yes” since her friend is a sweet and respectful girl. Her father, however, seems overly eager for our daughter to come over. How should we evaluate and respond to this situation? Do you have any advice

boy sitting on chair in hallway

Dealing With an Uncooperative School-Age Child

Is there a way to put a stop to the constant state of conflict I’m in with my school age child? I’m spending a lot of time trying to promote harmony and maintain a little order in our home, but when I ask my son to pitch in, I get either passive indifference or outright …

mom working on couch while daughter jumps on it

Evaluating a Possible Diagnosis of ADHD

How can I tell if my child really has ADHD? She is struggling in school, and her teacher has told us that she exhibits some of the symptoms of ADHD. I have serious concerns about the over-diagnosis of this condition and the over-medication of many kids today. Do you think I should take the teacher’s …

mom dad and child reading on bed with dog

Mom and Dad Have the Same Discipline Approach: Is This a Problem?

When a husband and wife discipline their children the same way, is there a need for a more balanced approach? I’ve heard that one of the ways male-female differences crop up in marriage and parenting is in sex-distinct approaches to child discipline: fathers supposedly emphasize justice, fairness, and duty (based on rules), while mothers are …

old photos hung on wall polaroid past

Parents Sharing Past Moral Failings With Kids

How much do my children need to know about my past? I’m a strong Christian and a dedicated parent, but during adolescence and young adulthood there was a time when I chose to “walk on the wild side.” Is there any reason to be completely open with them about the moral failings of my early …

graduation hat and piles of money

Strategies for Covering the Cost of Higher Education

What should we do about paying for college? This is our son’s senior year in high school. We have yet to discuss specifics, but he obviously assumes that we’ll be footing the entire bill. Though he’s only an average student, he seems to be making some pretty big plans and entertaining some extremely high hopes …

scrabble tiles spell out "rules"

Teen Discipline Strategies

How useful are rules as guidelines for adolescents? As our children move into the teen years it’s becoming more difficult and confusing to govern their behavior by this method. It certainly doesn’t work the way it did when they were younger. For example, I can’t get my middle son to keep his room clean no …

toddler climbing on baby gate

Making Your Home Safe for Toddlers

Can you give me some basic tips and pointers for “child-proofing” my house? Our toddler is highly energetic, extremely curious and unbelievably mobile. I’m wearing myself out just chasing her from room to room, trying to keep her from hurting herself.

cranky toddler boy sitting on blanket

Teaching Toddlers to Obey

How do I get my toddler to listen to me and do what I say? He’s right in the middle of the “terrible two’s,” and his favorite word is no. It seems he knows exactly what it takes to drive me up the wall. How should I handle this?

hand of preschooler touching or taking toy

Preschool Kleptomaniac

How can we stop our four-year-old from stealing? It seems like everywhere we go – church, stores, museums, friends’ houses – he walks out with something that doesn’t belong to him. I have a feeling that he’s just being irresponsible-that he puts things in his pocket and then forgets about them. My husband and I have talked …

Mom talking to scowling daughter

Parents Perplexed by Change in Teen’s Personality

Can you help us understand and deal with the shift in personality and temperament that has come over our daughter since she entered puberty? She used to be a ball of sunshine – compliant, obedient, and pleasant – but she has changed significantly since hitting the teen years. She’s irritated, moody, and secretive about insignificant …

mom and adult daughter on blanket on beach

Deciding to Let an Adult Child Move Back Home

Before we agree to allow our adult child to move back in with us, are there some key things we ought to consider or any safeguards we need to put in place? Our thirty-year-old daughter has just completed drug rehab and we’re giving careful thought to the option of letting her come back home until …

boy sitting on dad's lap with phone scowling

Questions About Spanking

What are your thoughts on corporal punishment as a method of child discipline? Do you think spanking is an appropriate and effective way to correct undesirable behavior? As first-time parents, we want to be certain that we’re doing what’s best for our child. Can you offer us some guidelines?

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Dad Wants Relationship With Children He Abandoned

How can I reconnect with my children after divorcing their mother and abandoning them? I regret to say that I walked out on my wife and family several years ago. Since then, I’ve found the Lord and realized my mistake. Now I’d like to get back in touch with my kids, but they don’t want …

mom eating and cooking pasta with two young kids

Unmarried Mom With Kids Feels “Second Class” Around Christians

How does your ministry view unmarried moms and their kids? I’m raising a couple of kids on my own. Up to this point my search for a church home hasn’t been too encouraging – I get a strong impression that some Christians don’t approve of women like me and our “illegitimate” children. What’s your perspective?

Dad talking to teen sons mom in background

Drug-Proofing Your Kids

Why do kids start (and continue) using drugs and other intoxicants? What steps can I take to protect my children against the dangers of substance abuse?