Focus on the Family Broadcast

Lynsi Snyder: Part of my purpose and calling is just seeing the captives set free, healing the broken-hearted, you know, breaking the chains. Just all of these different … I just, I could just hear, you know, all of these verses in my head and felt like yeah, that’s, that’s what we have to do.

John Fuller: Mm. Lynsi Snyder describing how God got ahold of her life and gave her a passion to serve others who are struggling as she did for so many years.

This is Focus on the Family with your host, Focus president and author, Jim Daly. And I’m John Fuller.

Jim Daly: Now John, last time we shared a powerful conversation that you and I recorded with Lynsi Snyder. Uh, she’s the president and owner of the popular In-N-Out Burger restaurant chain that’s headquartered in Southern California. They have several hundred, uh, restaurants scattered over the western part of the United States and, uh, recently they’ve opened a handful of restaurants here in Colorado.

John: We are very glad about that, aren’t we?

Jim: (laughs) I, yeah, I tell you my son Troy and I … It’s probably too often we say, “Hey, you wanna go get In-N-Out?”

John: (laughs)

Jim: “Yeah, dad. Let’s go.” Uh, but what most people don’t know is about the incredible challenges Lynsi faced as a girl, as a teenager, as a 20-something. And it started with the death of her beloved father when she was 17 years old and how that led to a downwards spiral in her life pursuing relationship after relationship in search of that true love.

And I know many people listening to us right now can relate to that. Maybe you have that checkered past that you’re not proud of and you wonder if God can ever truly forgive you for the mistakes and bad decisions, uh, that you’ve made along the way.

And if that describes you, I urge you to contact us here at Focus on the Family. We have caring Christian counselors who want to give you a different perspective, a godly perspective about how you can experience forgiveness and restoration and new hope for the future just like Lynsi did.

And if you missed the program last time, boy, let me encourage you to get the CD from us or the download, uh, the smartphone app. However, you can do it. It was so encouraging and inspiring.

John: It really was. So we urge you to check that out and contact us if you, um, need more details or if you’d like to speak to one of those Christian counselors that Jim just referenced. Our phone number is 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY. Or stop by focusonthefamily.com/broadcast.

Now today we’re gonna share part two of our conversation with Lynsi Snyder and about halfway through we’ll introduce you to her husband, Sean.

Jim: Man, we have talked about some really tough stuff and, uh, the Lord … Uh, the, I think the amazing thing in all of your story is just, uh, God’s grace, right? And it, it reminds me of something that somebody said to me just the other day. That God’s love for us is unchanging.

Lynsi: Mm.

Jim: He loved you when you were not close to him the same as you are close to him. That’s hard to fathom-

Lynsi: Yeah.

Jim: … that God’s love is that consistent and we just don’t realize it, right? Uh, let’s go back, um, to that point where you were struggling. I think you described it as kind of being in that pit and you’d already, um, you know, had a couple of marriages, uh, and now you felt trapped in this third kinda toxic relationship. And I think you described your spirit as just being crushed and, you know, crying out; quietly I’m sure. And in the middle of that pain is where you felt like that is where the Lord met you.

There’s people listening that are in that very spot right now. Different circumstances-

Lynsi: Yeah.

Jim: … but their encounter with the Holy One may be just around the corner. So in that regard, tell us your experience and I’m sure people are gonna lean in and say, “I’m right there.”

Lynsi: You know, I’d really been trying to get my walk back on track and I was so distracted and, uh, troubled with the marriage and, and just wanting it to work and wanting to have, you know, just one week of peace and-

Jim: Wow.

Lynsi: … and getting along (laughs) and having things be okay. And so it really, you know, pushed me to just pray constantly. And I was crying out and it wasn’t always quietly. It was, you know, on my face, on the floor, you know, crying out to God. And, um, I think that, uh, you know, there was time I took alone, um, and went off and just would pray and, and talk to him and listen. And so yeah, it was, it was really hard. And I just had already separated before and, and we’d back together and try, and try, and try.

And it’s kinda crazy how it happened because I- I found out, um, more in the marriage, you know? Um-

Jim: Yeah.

Lynsi: And, you know, and I’ve had to tell myself, okay, God … Divorce isn’t the one thing God hates, you know? He hates lying lips, he hates people that rush into evil, that shed innocent blood. Like I … You know, all these other … People that cause dissension and-

Jim: Sure.

Lynsi: …and all these other things. And so, um, I think that I don’t ever wish that on someone and I try to counsel people and save their marriage-

Jim: Yeah.

Lynsi: … in every situation I can unless of course there’s very obvious, um, things and, and a lack of repentance too, you know?

Jim: Yeah.

Lynsi: ‘Cause if someone does something you can forgive them and you can, you can move forward but, um, there was time over time over time. A long period of time of just there was not gonna be, uh, repentance there, so.

Jim: Yeah. Well, and in that regard I think this is one of the, uh, most difficult things, you know, when I’m speaking about my own childhood and somebody will come up and say, “I had an alcoholic father,” or, “I had your type of dad. How did you let go of that bitterness?” And I think in that way how did God … what did God ask you? That’s probably the better way to say it. I think I have a little insight here. He asked you, in your heart you felt a question that God had asked you. “Can I come in?” Is that fair?

Lynsi: What it was for me is letting him be enough-

Jim: Right.

Lynsi: … because I was always searching for that tangible person. You know whether it was when my dad wasn’t in my life as much, there was the, the need there.

Jim: Yeah.

Lynsi: And then, you know, just that fear of loss of love and trying to use a relationship to fill that void. And so it was, it was really letting the Lord be enough and make me whole. And I think that that was the turning point for my life. You know, I, I hadn’t had that, um, I guess, just peace of being okay alone, um, until then. And, um, and I was happy. I was so happy. You know, I felt set free, I felt like he was protecting me. I felt like, um … You know, I don’t know. It was just, it was great.

Jim: I, and I can relate to that.

Lynsi: Yeah.

Jim: It’s almost like a different gear-

Lynsi: Mm-hmm.

Jim: … spiritually.

Lynsi: Mm-hmm. Yes.

Jim: Like a deeper relationship. I remember in my 20s, you know, feeling like I was, you know … (laughs) Things that I should do, I didn’t do and the things I shouldn’t do, I did. That kinda thing. And I just remember then coming to that realization that, “Lord, wow, this … I’m not living for you the way I should be living for you,” in that experience for me. And it just was a deeper gear.

Lynsi: Yeah.

Jim: It was, I’d say, an integration where your faith really does begin to shape who you are-

Lynsi: Yeah.

Jim: … in a deeper way. But it’s- it’s so tough. I think it, it, it’d be good to just move to, you know, the things that we covered last time, the tough things.

Lynsi: Mm-hmm.

Jim: And now today, where you’re at and the wonder of it. I mean, it’s a good place. It seems like you’re in a really good place now. But, but speak to that. Um, I guess the importance of sharing faith. I mean, right now in the country it seems like it … You- you go one of two directions. You either just hold back ’cause you don’t wanna put it out there or you do put it out there and there’s consequences for that. You seem, again, very comfortable. “This is who I am. This is what I’m about. And that’s okay.”

Lynsi: Yeah. Um, well I think the … you know, we’re supposed to let our light shine before men so I think that, um, you know, I wouldn’t wanna put it under a basket but I also don’t, um, wanna just, you know, be, be out there and I don’t wanna make it about me. I wanna make it about, one, on the work side about what an amazing company and amazing people, you know, I work with. And I think that God’s blessed the company so much.

Jim: Yeah.

Lynsi: He’s had his hand over the company through so many different tragedies and-

Jim: Oh, yeah.

Lynsi: Um, and different really tough situations. But, you know, he’s, he’s just definitely protecting and guarding the company. I can feel that. And then, you know, on the other hand it’s like my life has been pretty crazy and I want to be able to reach others and help others by-

Jim: Yeah.

Lynsi: … you know, sharing my testimony or offering up, you know, different counsel or words and, and just hope that, that God can just receive, you know, all the glory in that.

Jim: Yeah, do you know one thing, it strikes me about you and it’s so refreshing is just that authentic faith. You know, I think one of the errors of Christian leadership has been trying to project some kind of perfection that they don’t possess. That no human being can possess, right? ‘Cause we’re not perfect.

Sean Ellingson: Right.

Jim: And you do such a great job of acknowledging, um, just being authentic. You know, “This is where I fall down and this is where I got up and this is where the Lord met me.”

Lynsi: Yeah.

Jim: So many people need to hear that because they’re looking at leaders-

Lynsi: Yeah.

Jim: … going, “Well, I- I can’t be like that.” And the reality is you can’t.

Lynsi: Yeah.

Jim: It’s not, it’s not something special.

Lynsi: Mm-hmm.

Jim: We just have different assignments. Let me ask you with In-N-Out Burger. Um, I think your uncle, Rich, and your grandmother, Esther, started the In-N-Out Foundation.

Lynsi: Mm-hmm.

Jim: What’s the goal of the foundation?

Lynsi: Uh, so they started it in the 80s and, uh, my uncle kinda came to the realization that, um, he had been an abused child. And he went to my dad and my dad was kind of like, “No kidding. You’re just now putting this together?”

John: Mm.

Lynsi: Um, they’re opposite personalities, um, but my dad had … you know, was very honest and, um, and real. My uncle was sweet, sweet guy but functioned in maybe a little more denial and-

Jim: Yeah.

Lynsi: … and stuff. So I think that, you know, they dealt with it differently. But when my uncle finally realized, “Wow, guy, we were abused as children” my dad, uh, (laughs) kinda was almost upset that he finally realized that. But my mom was really feeling passionate about it and she actually joined with them and they helped start the foundation-

Jim: Oh my goodness.

Lynsi: … with my grandmother. And, um, you know, so it’s to stop child abuse, to, um, prevent it to, you know, really … And it’s grown over the years, you know, from different foundations, different organizations, just a few to hundreds and, and even catching the ones that age out of the foster system-

Jim: Yeah.

Lynsi: … and all that because, you know-

Jim: Yeah.

Lynsi: … they need, they need help and-

Jim: It’s a … And I’ve said this before. Of course we have Wait No More. It’s a foster adoption effort. We’ve probably had roughly about 5,000 kids adopted out of that program or through that program. And it really is an area of chaos. You know, you wanna see chaos in the world go to the foster care system. And Lord knows we need more Christians involved there.

Lynsi: Yeah.

Jim: You know, at whatever level of commitment people can provide. But I so appreciate what you do and what the foundation of In-N-Out does to help those kids, which I was one-

Lynsi: Ah.

Jim: … at nine years old.

Lynsi: Yeah.

Jim: I was that foster kid and it was-

Lynsi: Yeah.

Jim: It was a mess. Sean, I wanna get you in here. Welcome to the Focus on the Family program.

Sean: Thank you for having us.

Jim: Oh, you bet. I wanna talk a little bit about you two ’cause you two met, you, you know, started yeah, like catching each other’s eye, I’m sure.

Lynsi: (laughs)

Jim: But you did something really great which you decided to kinda base your relationship on prayer. Describe that.

Sean: So I think from the very beginning, um, we, we both, uh, had been praying for somebody, you know, to come into our life and, um, I had always … You know, I had started praying. I just left the military. I started praying for a family. I realized after coming back from military how hard it was to just go about life with, um-

Jim: Mm.

Sean: … just the expenses and, um, it just seemed far-reaching to be able to have a family and support a family. Um, and so I, I was praying that God would just show me who I was and build me up to be a provider and a man, uh, to have a family. And to have kids and, uh, those were the things that were just deep inside of my heart.

And I think … So when I saw God answer that prayer it was like, okay, from the very beginning it’s like let’s, you know, let’s go to God about this, and this, and this, and this, and get confirmation. And, um, just really aside from prayer, but also include other, other believers for counsel and, uh, elders and, um … So it’s … Our faith has been, um, established from the beginning. We’ve obviously struggled and had our, um, issues, um …

Jim: Wait. You guys have issues? Oh.

Sean: (laughs)

Lynsi: (laughs)

Jim: (laughs) Jean and I have been married 35 years and guess what? We still have issues.

Sean: (laughs) Yeah.

Lynsi: (laughs)

Jim: It happens.

Sean: It does.

Jim: But that idea of, of right from the beginning to, to set your relationship in prayer is really … especially for young people-

Sean: Yeah.

Jim: … that’s a, that’s a noble thing to do.

John: Mm.

Jim: It doesn’t come easily.

Sean: Right.

Jim: And that was a great thing to do.

Sean: Yeah.

Jim: Who suggested it?

Sean: She-

Jim: (laughs)

Sean: She, uh, she-

Lynsi: My-

Sean: … definitely suggested it in the beginning.

Jim: Yeah. That’s good.

Sean: I, I wasn’t, um, where I am now today in my faith, uh, when we first met. I, I was raised with a background of faith with my family. Uh, my great-grandfather founded a church in Los Angeles in the 30s and, and so it’s been in my family, um, and so I was raised that way. And I veered off very far-

Jim: Yeah.

Sean: … and came back. And so when we met I had really just after serving in the military realized that I didn’t want it to be in vain, the effort that I, you know, put out there. And, um, I just was really hoping that God would just show me why he created me. And, um-

Jim: Wow.

Sean: Yeah.

Jim: It’s a big question-

Sean: Yeah.

Jim: … that a lot of people have.

Sean: Yeah. For sure.

Jim: What was the answer?

Sean: Well, uh, to, to-

Lynsi: (laughs)

Sean: … be in ministry. (laughs) No-

Jim: Yeah. (laughs)

Sean: But, um, you know, I, I think with the way he’s uniquely created us, uh, myself in, in the army, my personality and my heart for people and I, I definitely see him use those things, uh, for the sake of the Kingdom and for really setting people free. Um, I, I care about people and I, you know, I wanna see them, uh, not suffer with addiction or um, uh, human trafficking. And, um, you know, I, I wanna, I wanna go in and I wanna grab those people. I wanna take ’em out of that life and show ’em that God has so much more for them, in store for them. Uh, just joy-

Jim: Yeah.

Sean: … and fulfillment. There’s so much there.

Jim: I was gonna ask you. We- we’ve kind of really, uh, you know, cracked the can open for you, Lynsi. You’ve been so generous last time talking about your life, how we started today. So Sean, I got to-

Lynsi: (laughs)

Jim: … put a little pressure on you. I mean, you did have-

Sean: (laughs)

Jim: Um, you know, you leaned into drug addiction.

Sean: Mm-hmm.

Jim: How did God pull you out of that? There’s so many people that are there.

Sean: Yeah.

Jim: Whether it’s alcohol abuse, drug addiction.

Sean: Yeah.

Jim: People are looking to medicate some issue. So what, w- what was that theme for you? The brokenness in your family I heard.

Sean: Yeah.

Jim: And then how did God say, “Sean, you’re mine?”

Sean: Mm-hmm.

Jim: “We’re getting outta here.”

Sean: So I … You know, I think you can come … You know, the drug addiction come up- can come about quite a few different ways, you know, from traumatic experiences in our past and our childhood. Um, even from the womb, um, there could be some generational things that we’re dealing with.

Jim: Sure.

Sean: And it can just be from, um, just thinking that you’re gonna have fun and going out making the wrong decision. And it can spur off from there. So uh, I, I got pretty much sucked into that life and, uh, by my own choices and the people I surrounded myself with.

Jim: Sure.

Sean: And just a very toxic environment. But I started, um, doing cocaine and many other drugs. And, uh, long story short, after suffering through that just constantly, you know, the- the internal fight that-

Jim: Oh, yeah.

Sean: Wanting to be … Uh, wanting to get rid of that out of my life. I wanted to be done with it, um, but being sucked back in, uh, through the chemical addiction. And, um, it was, it was tough but I started to pray and I knew that, I knew that that was the answer. And, um, one day, um, as I … Maybe you’ve heard but it was my birthday and I had done too much and, um, I was feeling like I was absolutely on my deathbed.

John: Mm.

Sean: And-

John: Which birthday was that, Sean?

Sean: Oof. I think it was 26.

John: Yeah.

Sean: Yeah, 26 at the time. And, um, I just reached out to God. And laying there, feeling my heart racing, racing, pumping. Like feeling like it’s gonna burst out of my chest. I was scared to death and, um, I just prayed. And I felt like a light opened up in the top of the room and it just gave me such a glimmer of hope that, um, God was truly there and, and, was … He, I mean, he was just there for me.

And so, uh, the next day I made a phone call to my grandparents and, um, explained the situation and, uh, they allowed me to come live with them. And so it was-

Jim: They played a really important role in your life, didn’t they?

Lynsi: Mm.

Sean: They, they have. Yeah.

Jim: Your grandparents.

Sean: Yeah. For sure. Yeah, so the … You know, they weren’t … You know, they wanted the kids out of the house at that time and, um, my brother and I … my older brother and I lived with them growing up due to my parents being divorced and some of that going on in my- my home. So they, they wanted, they wanted to have an empty home. And so by them allowing me to come back I, I saw that as God’s hand in a, in them just immediately saying yes without even, without-

Jim: Wow.

Sean: … any hesitation.

Jim: Mm.

Sean: And in that time I, um, I just kinda got away from everybody and everything in my life and my grandfather kept pouring scripture into me and arguing … We’d get into arguments and I would have my worldly view on, on different things and he would come from a Biblical point of view and he never backed down and he fought-

Jim: Yeah.

Sean: (softly crying) Thank you. Uh, yeah. He just, he fought for me.

Jim: It’s amazing when someone does that, huh?

Sean: Absolutely. And, you know, the interesting thing is, you know, he, he … My grandfather, uh, is, is not my, my blood, okay? So he, he raised my father. Uh, he came in to lead a family and a home and as his own. And in the same way, uh, he did that for me. And so I just saw the importance of, of doing that for other people regardless of if they’re blood or your family. I think we get so caught up in, in just, um, isolating ourselves to, to reach out and help only family. And it’s like there’s, there’s so many other people to there that need our help and …

Jim: Yeah.

Sean: Yeah, so it … It was that process that got started, uh, shortly after my brother had passed away from Oxycontin and Xanax.

Jim: Mm.

Sean: Um, and it was just a little bit too late. I … Once I had to start, when I, once I started to clean up my life I went back and tried to reach out to him and, you know, was trying to help him get out of that life and, and then he ended up overdosing. And, uh, he was in the hospital and he was telling everybody, you know, the only person that he wanted to see at that time was me. And so, um, I went and saw him and, um, prayed with him and I talked with him and, um, just kept trying to tell him, uh, you know, God was his answer to get out. And, uh, about three or four months later he ended up passing away. And so-

Jim: Mm.

Sean: I have a- another younger brother.

Jim: How old was he?

Sean: Uh, he was 22 when he passed away.

Jim: 22.

Sean: Yeah. Yeah. And then I have a, I had another, uh, younger brother that spiraled outta control from that uh, uh, incident and, um, he ended up on the streets, homeless, on heroin-

Jim: Oh my goodness.

Sean: … and meth, so-

Jim: And where is he today? Is he-

Sean: So today, uh, he’s, uh … He’s gone back-and-forth. Uh, he acknowledges that, that the Lord is the answer for sure and he is currently in a program and he’s about to finish. I think he has about a- less than a month left in the program that he’s in and, um, yeah. I’m, I’m excited to see. So he, he’s in a-

Jim: Yeah.

Sean: He’s in a very good place right now.

Jim: Yeah, and, and that back-and-forth, that yo-yoing. So many of us know that either through our own experiences or through family members or friends that have gone through that and that’s … You know, it’s just the heavy part of life, right?

Sean: Yeah.

Jim: And again, I, I just so appreciate your realness, both of you. I mean, this is where many people live. In-

Sean: Yeah.

Jim: … the pit they’re trying to climb out of.

Lynsi, I do, and Sean jump in to, but Slave 2 Nothing and the other work that you’re doing here through In-N-Out and the foundations, plural, that you’ve set up. Describe them for the listeners and what’s happening. What are you accomplishing through those things?

Lynsi: Yeah. Slave 2 Nothing is, uh, two parts. Uh, hence the name Slave 2, the number two, nothing. And the first part is helping, uh, with fighting addition. So whether it be prevention again or, you know, different rehab centers, different … You know, there’s a lot of different great organizations that are, you know, out there to fight substance abuse and addiction. So we support many of those like the Children’s Foundation. This is set up to support other foundations. Um, organizations that are, that are boots on the ground, you know, helping people.

And uh, the other part is human trafficking.

Jim: Yeah.

Lynsi: You know, it’s, it’s huge. I think a lotta people … I think more people realize now but, you know, five years ago when we started, um, I think there were a lot of people that thought that was a third world problem and that it wasn’t here.

Jim: Yeah.

Lynsi: But it’s, it’s huge, you know. It’s, it’s-

Jim: Absolutely.

Lynsi: … huge and, um … So I think, you know, us being able to spread the awareness, um, in our stores with the can drive. Both causes. You know, we have information out and then being able to, you know, support these different organizations that are fighting to prevent and fighting to rescue and set people free.

Um, you know, that was part of the vision God gave me for our Army of Love ministry, um, and just part of my purpose and calling is just seeing the captives set free, healing the broken-hearted, breaking the chains. Just all of these different … I just, I could just hear, you know, all of these verses in my head and felt like yeah, that’s, that’s what we have to do. That’s what-

Jim: No, I-

Lynsi: (laughs) That’s what we are doing.

Jim: And it’s-

Lynsi: So we’re on the same page with that.

Jim: And it’s so beautiful b- to be able to do that. I mean, to take the hard work of 30,000 people. Think of that. 30,000 people working hard every day at In-N-Out Burger and then with a portion of those profits you’re helping others. That truly is the Christian message, right? Take what you can to help others, uh, get through this life and hopefully to meet the Lord in the process.

Lynsi: Yes.

Jim: That’s the core, so that change can occur.

Sean: Yeah.

Jim: And I, I just, l so admire that. I really do and I appreciate you both. Thank you for being with us.

Lynsi: Yeah.

Jim: This has been so good. And again, thank you for your openness about who you are and what God’s done in your life.

Lynsi: Ah. Yeah.

Sean: Yeah. Thank you so much for having us.

Lynsi: Yeah.

Jim: Mm. Thanks.

Lynsi: (laughs) Thank you.

John: And that’s how we concluded our conversation with Lynsi Snyder and her husband, Sean, on this episode of Focus on Family.

And Jim, it really is inspiring to hear how God brought both Lynsi and Sean full circle using the pain and the brokenness of their past to equip them for a really vibrant ministry today.

Jim: And it’s a good reminder to all of us in the Christian community that no one, no one, is beyond the reach of God. In human terms, it’d be easy to write Lynsi and Sean off as hopeless cases. Uh, they’ve made too many mistakes, you might think, and nothing good will come outta their lives. You might be thinking about that with your own prodigal child. Um, but God can and does work miracles and we’ve certainly heard that these past two episodes.

And if you or someone you know is in that wayward state, they’re the prodigal wandering far afield from following the Lord, there’s still hope for redemption and restoration in that life. In your life! And we’d love to be part of that process. And we can connect you with one of our caring Christian counselors who will listen to your story, pry with you and provide resources to get you back on track. And we can introduce you to the love and forgiveness that Lynsi was talking about in Jesus Christ.

John: Mm. Yeah. Please, uh, give us a call. Our number is 800, the letter A, and the world FAMILY. That’s 800-232-6459. Or we have more information for you at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast.

Last time we mentioned a book that Lynsi has written called, The Ins and Outs of In-N-Out Burger: The Inside Story of California’s First Drive-Through and How it Became a Beloved Cultural Icon. Make a donation of any amount to the work of Focus on the Family today and we’ll send that book out to you. That’s our way of saying thanks for being a part of the support team and helping us to strengthen families.

Coming up tomorrow, marriage and family coaches Dave and Anne Wilson share tips on how to have healthy conflict in any relationship.

Anne: Satan’s strategy is to always cause division. We’re passionate about this ’cause it drives us crazy that you go to school all these years to learn a profession but how many years have you spent learning how to have great relationships? How to love each other.

John: Oh, behalf of Jim Daly and the entire team, I’m John Fuller. Thanks for listening to Focus on the Family. Join us next time as we once more help you and your family thrive in Christ.