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Focus on the Family Broadcast

Embracing the Various Seasons of Marriage (Part 2 of 2)

Embracing the Various Seasons of Marriage (Part 2 of 2)

Best-selling author Gary Chapman explains how couples go through four seasons of marriage – spring, summer, fall and winter and how couples can thrive through each of those seasons. (Part 2 of 2)
Original Air Date: September 20, 2016

Preview:

Dr. Gary Chapman: When you focus on the negative and you say negative things and critical things to your spouse, there’s something inside of him that wants to run from you. Just get away from you. So this whole thing of looking for the positive and choosing to think about the positive, it in itself has a way of moving you back towards spring and summer.

End of Preview

John Fuller: That’s Dr. Gary Chapman, and he’s describing one way that you can positively impact your marriage. And you’ll hear more from him on today’s Focus on the Family with your host, Focus President and author, Jim Daly. and I’m John Fuller.

Jim Daly: Hey John, last time we had a great discussion about the, uh, cyclical nature of marriage and how our marriage transitions from winter, spring, summer, and fall, and we find ourselves in any one of those four seasons at any time in our marriage. And, uh, Gary Chapman, our guest, has done a beautiful job, like he always does, just capturing complex human relationship ideas and then putting them into, uh, more bite size formats. And we are gonna continue that discussion with Gary today to talk about what season your marriage is in and how to get to a good place.

John: And let me just say here at the start, if you are struggling in your relationship, we do have counselors here on staff, caring Christians who can have an initial discussion with you about where you’re at. It may be that you’re doing pretty well, you just want a resource. And, uh, Dr. Chapman’s book, The Four Seasons of Marriage is a great tool. We’ve got our counseling team and resources like this book available to you when you call 800-A-FAMILY, 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY.

Jim: You know, so often people will say, you know, I’m praying for Focus on the Family, uh, we’re supporting you. What else can we do, uh, to engage the ministry of Focus. I’ll tell you, one of the great things you can do is right here in this area of marriage. Be in tune with your neighbors, be in tune with your friends at church. Uh, what may be on the outside may not be the whole story. So keep your ear to the ground. And if you’re in that good place, join us in ministry, turn people toward Focus on the Family to help them in their marriage. Let them know you know of great resources where people can plug in. And you know what? I don’t believe we’ll disappoint your good advice to your friends.

John: Mm-hmm.

Jim: I think if they come, uh, through the doorway here, we will do everything we can, uh, to help them in their marriage journey. So have that confidence and it’s a great way to help people in their life. And, uh, with that, Gary, let me say welcome back to Focus on the Family.

Dr. Chapman: Well, thank you. Good to be back again.

Jim: You must experience that, where, uh, friends are saying, “Gary, I’ve got a buddy you need to meet and straighten out.” (laughs).

Dr. Chapman: Oh, yeah. Oh, yes.

Jim: Does that happen to you?

Dr. Chapman: Oh, yes. And sometimes it really is a buddy.

Jim: (laughs).

Dr. Chapman: And sometimes it’s them.

Jim: (laughs).

Dr. Chapman: They’re talking about themselves, you know.

Jim: I’ve got a friend.

Dr. Chapman: I’ve got a friend. Yes. And all of us have friends. And sometimes it’s easier to try to get an answer for a friend than it is to reveal that this is where I am, you know, in my relationship. But it’s okay. Wherever people start-

Jim: Yeah.

Dr. Chapman: … at least it’s a step.

Jim: You know, and last time, uh, and if you didn’t hear it, you gotta get the download or go to the website and listen, um, we talked about three of the seasons, winter, spring, and summer. And what I’d like to do, if you could just give us that recap on those three. And then we’re gonna talk about fall and move into some strategies to help, uh, couples get to a good place.

Dr. Chapman: Well, winter is cold and bitter and harsh. Okay? It’s not a good place to be in your marriage. And then spring of course, is an exciting time. You’re anticipating things. You almost always start off in spring, and life is going to be wonderful. You’ve got great plans and things you’re gonna do together. You have visions of really a happy marriage. And then summer is you really do have a happy marriage. I mean, things are really going well. You’re solving conflicts. You’ve accepted some things that you used to be irritated about. Uh, you’re enjoying, discussing life with each other. You’re reading books together. You’re growing spiritually together. Summer’s a good place. And then the fall, which is the one that we will focus on here, things look good on the outside, but really inside, there’s a lot of apprehension, some fearfulness, maybe even sadness. Uh, things that just don’t feel quite right in the relationship. No one else sees them yet. Uh, but uh, we may feel unappreciated in a fall marriage, not verbalizing it. Uh, we- we’re uncertain about where things are going. And we also kind of tend to start blaming our spouse. They’re not doing what they should be doing.

Jim: In fact, you, you talk about the number one cause of fall marriages is neglect.

Dr. Chapman: Yeah.

Jim: Describe that. Neglect can be so many different things.

Dr. Chapman: Yeah.

Jim: Um, how do we neglect each other in the marriage?

Dr. Chapman: I think it’s failing to connect on a regular basis. We’re involved in so many other things, you know, it may be work, it may be children, it may be church, it may be good things in the community. We’re involved in good things, but we’re not connecting with each other. We’re not sharing those things with each other. We’re neglecting the primary relationship in a family. And that’s the relationship between the husband and the wife.

Jim: Uh, Gary, you counsel thousands of couples and I’m sure this is probably coming from 999 of them. Uh, Dr. Chapman, I mean, life is busy, do you notice?

Dr. Chapman: Yeah.

John: Mm-hmm.

Jim: And I’m busy. And the wife is saying I’m quite busy too, we’ve got three kids in their teens.

Dr. Chapman: Yeah.

Jim: Um, so that, is it an excuse or is it a legitimate issue of life that I’m so busy, it’s number four or five or 12 on my list to connect with my spouse. That’s like the last thing I can get to.

Dr. Chapman: Yeah. And if that’s our attitude, we’re too busy.

Jim: Hmm.

Dr. Chapman: You know, God would not have ordained marriage, and the marriages produced children and thus families, if there wasn’t time to do it all.

Jim: Yeah.

Dr. Chapman: There has to be time to raise children, and have a healthy marriage, and have a job. Because God also ordained work, there has to be time to do it. And if we don’t have time to keep the marriage relationship growing, then we need to look at our lives, and there’s some things we maybe are doing that we don’t need to be doing. We’re neglecting the most important to do something that seems important.

Jim: Now, you can take a very drastic, uh, change in your life to correct that.

Dr. Chapman: Yeah.

Jim: Uh, what are you suggesting? If my vocation is really consuming me, it’s 80 hours a week, and yeah, I don’t really have time to spend on my marriage. And she knows, I love her ’cause I told her that when we got married, but she’s not gonna get a lot more out of me. What do you say to that guy?

Dr. Chapman: I think there is a time to assess. In fact, there should be many times in a marriage to assess where we are. And if we continue on the path we’re now on, where are we gonna be in five years or 10 years? And I think there are times to make drastic changes and many couples have made those changes. You know, I know couples where one of them, for example, a father has decided to be a stay-at-home, you know, caretaker for the children. Because the mother’s got a job, she’s making three times what he’s making.

Jim: Right.

Dr. Chapman: So they just together agree, this will work, and we can have a family, you know. And, and it may be the other way around, is, a mother may decide, I’m gonna be a stay-at-home mom and, for a season in my life. Maybe you have a vocation that you really, really love, but you’re gonna choose to stay at home for a season. And then later on you can pick back up your vocation. So some of those big decisions can be made, but many times it’s more the smaller decisions, it’s looking for time and making time to stay connected with each other.

Jim: That’s the easier pathway.

Dr. Chapman: Yes.

Jim: I was gonna ask you with those couples, uh, when you see them two, three years down the road, are they in a majority of them, maybe 80, 90%, are they in a better place, and they were grateful for making the tough choices they made?

Dr. Chapman: They are because they have, they’re enjoying life together.

Jim: Huh.

Dr. Chapman: They’ve made time to enjoy life together. And if you don’t make time to enjoy life and you spend all the time making money and going, doing this, that, and the other thing, it’s gone before you know it. You know, the kids are gone and now we don’t have a life together.

Jim: One of the strategies you encourage in your book to get to a better season in your marriage is to identify past failures.

Dr. Chapman: Yeah.

Jim: Uh, that could be hard. I mean, we don’t like looking in the closet saying, “Yeah, that was wrong.” Uh, what’s the importance of that?

Dr. Chapman: Yeah. We don’t like looking back. We would hope that time would just erase the effects of our failures, but time does not erase the effects. You know, the scriptures are very clear, “If we confess our sins, God is ready to forgive our sins.” Same principle applies in human marriages, human relationships. If we are willing to acknowledge that I failed you in this, and this and this, most of the time, our spouse is willing to forgive us. But the very fact that we bring it up and say, “I’ve been thinking about us. I’ve been reflecting on our lives. And I realize that I, I failed you in some si- really significant ways,” and you kind of spell them out and ask for forgiveness. And even if it’s deep hurt and been there a long time, your spouse may not immediately forgive you, but they walk away thinking in their mind, wow, never thought I’d hear this.

Jim: Right.

Dr. Chapman: You know, and three days later, they may well come back and say, “I’ve been thinking about what you said the other night, and I realized I haven’t been the perfect spouse either.” And maybe they share some things and then you forgive each other. It’s a huge step in moving forward to recognize and deal with past failures.

John: I, I don’t think I would be, um, speaking out of turn, when, when we came up to this part of the conversation, I immediately thought of a past failure in our relationship. And I won’t go into details, but I said something very, very hurtful to Dena. This was many, many years ago. And I think we’ve resolved that. But, um, I’m not sure, maybe we haven’t.

Dr. Chapman: (laughs). Yeah.

John: So when that one pops into my mind, should I let that maybe be a little prompt from God to go back to her to say, “Do you remember that time?” ‘Cause I don’t want to go there.

Dr. Chapman: Yeah.

John: I mean, that was, I caused such pain. I’d like to keep the door closed on that one.

Dr. Chapman: Yeah. Yeah.

John: Is there value to going back just to make sure?

Dr. Chapman: I think if you have a question, it would be worth your while to say to her, “We were discussing this today and this popped back in my mind, I just wanna make sure that that’s all clear.”

John: Mm-hmm.

Dr. Chapman: And, and she may well say, “Honey, it’s clear. I don’t know why you even thought about it.” Or she may say, “You know, it does bother me once in a while too.”

Jim: Gary, you talk about a three-step process for working through those past failures that we’re alluding to. Give us an example of how you’ve, uh, walked a couple through the process in your counseling, if you can.

Dr. Chapman: One, is to ask God, just take an hour away and sit down alone with God and ask God to bring back to your mind, all the places where you failed your spouse in the past.

Jim: And just write them down.

Dr. Chapman: And just write them down.

Jim: Mm-hmm.

Dr. Chapman: And God will do that because God wants us to deal with our failures.

Jim: Hmm.

Dr. Chapman: Then you go to your spouse, and you tell them, “You know, I sat down with God the other day and I asked him to tell me where I have failed you in the past. And he gave me a pretty good list. And if you’ve got a few minutes, I’d like to share these with you either now or later and see if you could forgive me.”

Jim: Hmm

Dr. Chapman: Wow! Your spouse is listening, and chances are they’ll make time to let you read the list.

Jim: That right there is probably worth the two days of listening to this program.

Dr. Chapman: (laughs).

Jim: I mean, I think that could make a dramatic difference in your marriage.

Dr. Chapman: Yeah.

Jim: Man, try that and then let us know the difference it made in your marriage a week or the next day. I would love to hear from you.

Dr. Chapman: Yeah.

Jim: If that piece of advice right there made a difference for you.

Dr. Chapman: Yeah.

Jim: Wow. Gary, that’s powerful.

Dr. Chapman: Yeah. And if your spouse happens to say, once you read the list, “I’d like to forgive you, but I don’t know if I can,” give them time.

Jim: Don’t press.

Dr. Chapman: Just say, just say, “I’m not, I don’t wanna pressure you for forgiveness, but I hope that you can eventually find it in your heart to forgive me because you deserve more and I want to be what you deserve,” and let it ride. I can tell you, there’s a good chance now you start being kind and changing your behavior that they’re gonna forgive you and may come back and confess their own failures.

Jim: Gary, as you described that, the word that jumps into my mind, like a neon sign is humility.

Dr. Chapman: Yeah.

Jim: And vulnerability.

Dr. Chapman: Yeah.

Jim: And again, what is it in us as human beings that that’s so hard a place to get to? That vulnerability to, to be able to do that. Which, I mean, I think a lot of people are exhaling going, “Ah, if we could only do that, it would be different.”

Dr. Chapman: Yeah.

Jim: Why can we not get there? What is it in us that we don’t wanna be that vulnerable? We’d rather sit in the muck of our marriage-

Dr. Chapman: Yeah.

Jim: … than do that.

Dr. Chapman: I think it’s the work of the enemy in our hearts and in our minds. He doesn’t want us to confess our failures. He doesn’t want us to experience forgiveness and anything he can do to keep us from getting there, he will. I think also we are self-centered; we are prideful and yes, it’s hard to acknowledge your failures, especially in a close relationship like marriage. But when we do, we’re freed. You know, even if they don’t forgive you, you feel better because you, you laid it on the table. And it’s so biblical, I mean, God, doesn’t just forgive everybody, he forgives people who confess their sins. And that principle is true here. We don’t just expect our spouse just to forget all this stuff, we, but if we confess it, then they can forgive. And now we can, we got the wall torn down, now we can begin building our marriage, or rebuilding our marriage.

Jim: Let me ask you in that context though, that scripture where the disciples and the Lord are talking, and Jesus is saying, “Forgive 70 times seven.”

Dr. Chapman: Yeah.

Jim: Um, you can interpret that in a lot of different ways in a marriage conflict. And the husband who for the umpteenth time is coming back saying, “Please forgive me for that.” What’s the healthy approach in that?

Dr. Chapman: Yeah.

Jim: I mean, if you’re thinking forgiveness anytime, cheap forgiveness, it may not mean enough.

Dr. Chapman: Yeah.

Jim: In a marriage, what should it look like?

Dr. Chapman: Well, I think Jesus was saying most of all, we should always be willing to forgive and have no limits on forgiveness. Having said that, I think what you describe when they come back with the same failure over and over and over and over again, that there is a place for us to confront and to say, “You know, honey, I, I, I think you’re sincere, I believe you’re sincere, but why don’t we talk about how we can change the behavior and let’s come up with a plan where you won’t do this again.”

Jim: Yeah.

Dr. Chapman: And most of the time the spouse will be open to thinking about a plan. And one lady said to me, she said, “Dr. Chapman, uh, my husband just kept doing the same old thing over and over. And finally we, I challenged him that let’s think about this. You know, he would lose his temper with the kids and with me. And so we got a plan that was very simple, that if he felt like he was about to lose his temper with me or one of the children, he would say, “Honey, I’m hot. I gotta take a walk. And I knew what it was all about. And he would take a walk and cool down. And then come back and say, “Okay honey, I’m back. What can I do to help you? He plugged back in.”

Jim: Right.

Dr. Chapman: She said, “Dr. Chapman, he seldom loses his temper now.” And she said, “He takes quite a few walks.

Jim: He’s healthier.” (laughs).

Dr. Chapman: But, but he, but, but he’s not losing his temper. So I think that’s the way you handle that.

Jim: Gary, you’ve touched on those three key components of identifying your failures and confessing those to your spouse and then seeking forgiveness.

Dr. Chapman: Yeah.

Jim: Um, those are all biblical approaches to human relationship, particularly in marriage. Let me, uh, ask you about another part of the strategy that caught my attention. That is to, um, have a winning attitude toward your spouse. And I, I mean so many wives and husbands are going, “Yeah, but you don’t know my spouse.” (laughs).

Dr. Chapman: (laughs).

Jim: So what is it to have a winning attitude? And where does that come from?

Dr. Chapman: Well, it’s the opposite of having a negative attitude. The negative attitude is, you know, it’s never gonna be any better, it’s gone on too long, too much has happened, nothing can ever be better. If you keep that attitude, nothing will be better. You will stay in a winter marriage. But if you began to think in terms of, there’s gotta be something good here in our relationship, and you start focusing on the positive. You know, this is what Paul encouraged us to do in Philippians Chapter four, when he said, you know, “If there’s anything good and holy and right,” and he listed a whole thing of things, and he said, “Think on these things. Think on the positive things.”

Jim: Yeah.

Dr. Chapman: You start looking for positive things in your spouse, and then you start verbalizing those things to them. Look at them the way God looks at them.

Jim: Huh.

Dr. Chapman: Your spouse is somebody made in the image of God, they’re gifted by God, they have the ability to do things. And you start walking down that road and you’ll begin to see some good things in your spouse. And then you verbalize it. It may be simple things. It may be little things. But you begin to verbalize the positive things in the relationship. And when you verbalize the positive to your spouse, there’s something inside of them that wants to be better. Every time you commend them for something or point out something about them that you really like, they wanna be better. I remember when my kids were little, my wife would tell the children what a good father I was.

Jim: Right.

Dr. Chapman: And I knew sometimes she was going way beyond reality.

Jim: (laughs).

Dr. Chapman: But every time she told them how good I was-

Jim: Yeah.

Dr. Chapman: … it made me wanna be as good as she said I was, you know. And, and the conversely, when you focus on the negative and you say negative things and critical things to your spouse, there’s something inside of him that wants to run from you.

Jim: Yeah.

Dr. Chapman: Just get away from you. So this whole thing of looking for the positive and choosing to think about the positive it in itself has a way of moving you back towards spring and summer.

John: And, and the power of these positive words, and the, the positive attitude is not necessarily going to create instant change in a relationship, is it? I mean, because there could be years of negative things going on.

Dr. Chapman: Not necessarily. Yeah. Yeah. Not necessarily quickly, but they do move you in the right direction. They begin to thaw the ice, (laughs), and they begin to move you back towards spring.

Jim: Gary, you talk about the Dead Sea people and the Babbling Brook people. (laughs).

Dr. Chapman: (laughs).

Jim: I thought that was pretty funny. What in the world are you getting at there?

Dr. Chapman: I’m talking about our personality when it comes to talking. Some of us are Dead Seas. You know, the sea of Galilee flows south by way of the Jordan River into the Dead Sea. And the Dead Sea goes nowhere. That’s why we call it the Dead Sea. Some of us have that kind of personality. We can receive thoughts, feelings, experiences throughout the day. We have a large reservoir where we store all of that, and we’re perfectly happy not to talk. If you say to a Dead Sea, “What’s wrong? Why aren’t you talking tonight?” A Dead Sea will say, “Nothing’s wrong? What makes you think something’s wrong?” It’s just that they can be content not to talk. Now the other personality type is what I call the Babbling Brook.

Jim: (laughs).

Dr. Chapman: And that’s the personality that whatever comes in the eye gate, or the ear gate comes out the mouth gate. And normally there’s not 60 seconds between the two.

Jim: (laughs).

Dr. Chapman: In fact, if no one is at home, these people will call someone on the telephone, “You know what I just saw? You know what I just heard? They have no reservoir. And usually these two people marry each other.

Jim: (laughs).

John: (laughs). Usually.

Dr. Chapman: (Laughs) And the, and the Babbling Brook will complain that her spouse doesn’t talk. And often that spouse is a husband. He just won’t talk. I just have to keep asking him questions. He can sit down for a whole meal and not say a word about what happened today.

Jim: Well, but, and the difficulty is you don’t bring a bulldozer in to make the Dead Sea a Babbling Brook. What do you do though, to find some compromise?

Dr. Chapman: Yeah. You’re never gonna change the basic tendency, but you can both learn to grow toward the middle. The Dead Sea can learn to speak more than he would nor- or she would normally speak. The Babbling Brook can learn to slow the flow, ask more questions and become a better listener.

Jim: Hmm.

Dr. Chapman: And I say to the Babbling Brook, don’t ever expect the other person to talk as much as you talk, but if you’ll ask questions, they may give short answers. So you ask another question just to follow up and don’t get annoyed. Just keep asking questions and they will respond to questions. It’s easy for a Dead Sea. It’s easier if you ask me questions. Because otherwise you just say, “I wish we’d talk more,” And I’m thinking, about what?

Jim: And why? (laughs).

Dr. Chapman: Yeah. Why? Wh- wh- wh- what do you mean talk more? But give me a question, I can respond to the question.

Jim: Developing that empathetic ear to listen. I mean, I think unfortunately in marriages, that’s where we lose our ability to do it so quickly.

Dr. Chapman: Yeah.

Jim: Maybe after year two or maybe month two-

Dr. Chapman: Yeah.

Jim: … uh, we tend to not stay in touch with that ear to listen to each other.

Dr. Chapman: Yeah.

Jim: How do we maintain that as a good, healthy part of our relationship?

Dr. Chapman: You know, I never heard the word empathy when I was growing up. And it’s a psychological word, but really, it’s simple. It means putting yourself in the shoes of the other person and trying to look at the world through their eyes. So when they’re talking, what you’re trying to do is look from their perspective, what are they saying? What are they thinking? What are they feeling? And you ask questions to clarify it, to make sure you understand what they’re… “Honey, is this what you’re saying? Sounds to me like you’re saying this.” And give them a chance to clarify. That’s empathetic listening. It’s really trying to look at their perspective. And if you do this, then a little way into the listening, you can honestly say, “Honey, I think I hear what you’re saying.” And you tell them, and they say, “Yeah, that’s what I’m saying.”

Jim: Do you find that one gender… I mean, we laugh about that. That sounds exhausting.

Dr. Chapman: Yeah. (laughs).

Jim: I mean, most guys will probably go, “That’s right, Jim. That sounds exhausting.” And we even laugh like that.

Dr. Chapman: Yeah.

Jim: Do women, do they tend to be better listeners than men?

Dr. Chapman: You know, I, I don’t wanna put men in a category, but I do think that at least the men I’ve encountered, (laughs), have more difficulty doing this than do their wives.

Jim: And then how do we get beyond the joke of that? That it’s exhausting. How do we say, “Okay, it’s exhausting, but I’m gonna do it.”? Uh, what kind of triggers do you use to say. “Okay, calm down, Jim.”

Dr. Chapman: Yeah.

Jim: “Listen to what Jean is saying.”

Dr. Chapman: If you have to set time limits, then you can set time limits. See some guys say to me, “Dr. Chapman, I don’t wanna get into conversation with her at night, ’cause it’s gonna be three hours.”

Jim: And I’m exhausted.

Dr. Chapman: “And I’m exhausted already. You, see? And, and the wife is just crying for more conversation.” And I say to both of them, “Okay, let’s back off and let’s not try to cram it all into a three-hour period. Let’s give her 15 minutes each night.”

Jim: Yeah.

Dr. Chapman: And if she knows there’s gonna be another 15-minute conversation tomorrow night, she can learn to accept that. Because she knows it’s not going to build up and become a three-hour conversation. So I think finding out what works for you as a couple, but we have to listen to each other. If we don’t listen, we will never understand each other.

Jim: Yeah.

Dr. Chapman: But if you listen long enough, you can say, “Honey, I think I hear what you’re saying and here’s the other line. And it makes a lot of sense.”

Jim: And it makes a lot of sense.

Dr. Chapman: And it does. From their perspective, it always makes sense. And when you say that you are no longer an enemy, you are a friend.

Jim: Yeah.

Dr. Chapman: And then you can say, “Let me share my side, honey.”

Jim: Gary, this has been fantastic advice both today and last time. Uh, probably the last question I need to ask is a final word from you. Okay, you’ve identified the four seasons and I am living in winter. I don’t know where my spouse is living, but I’m living in winter. People that feel stuck in that place, what can they do when they get home today? What can they do to begin to change it, to find spring or summer, or at least fall?

Dr. Chapman: Yeah. Do something different from what you did last night. Don’t do the same thing or you’ll be at the same place tomorrow night. And maybe that means simply saying, “Honey, I haven’t told you this in a long time, but I appreciate the fact that you work so hard to provide for us.” or something else that’s positive. Just say something positive tonight. Something you haven’t said in a while to your spouse.

Jim: That’s a good place to start. Dr. Gary Chapman, author of the book, The Four Seasons of Marriage: Secrets to a Lasting Marriage. It has been great to have you with us.

Dr. Chapman: Thank you, Jim. Always good to be with you.

John: Well, what a meaningful conversation we’ve had with Dr. Gary Chapman today on Focus on the Family.

Jim: Well, I hope you’ve been encouraged to work on your marriage regardless of the season you’re in. And you know, this is why Focus on the Family exists. We want to help you have the best marriage possible. And of course, challenges arise. We get that. Those are the winter seasons. But we can help. We have caring Christian counselors on staff that will listen to you, pray with you and offer some insight on how you can move forward.

John: And beyond that, our Hope Restored marriage intensives are really outstanding. Um, a couple of years ago, Dena and I had the opportunity to attend one, it really changed our relationship for the better.

Jim: Well, lots of couples who have gone through those intensives say the same thing, John. I love hearing about the marriages that have been saved through Hope Restored. God is doing some amazing things in that program. I’m so proud of it. Uh, couples on the brink of divorce come back stronger and better than ever. And when we do our two year follow up survey, 80% of those couple’s report that they are still together, still married and have a higher level of marriage satisfaction. That’s excellent. That’s the goal. So if you need help in your marriage, uh, get in touch with us today. Today may be the day that everything changes for you. And we also have Dr. Chapman’s great book, The Four Seasons of Marriage: Secrets to a Lasting Marriage. Uh, you can order that directly from us and the proceeds all go back into ministry here at Focus on the Family, we don’t pay shareholders. Uh, when you sign up for a monthly pledge of any amount today, we’ll send you a copy of that as our way of saying thank you for being part of the ministry. And if that monthly commitment is too much, we get that, we can still send it out for a one-time gift of any amount. No amount is too small when it comes to saving marriages and helping families to thrive. We hope you’re hearing how much we appreciate you. And we’re thankful that you chose to do your ministry through Focus.

John: Yeah. Donate today as you can. Learn more about Hope Restored. And, uh, get your copy of the book, The Four Seasons of Marriage. You’ll find us online at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast. Or call 1-800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY, 800-232-6459. Well, plan to join us again tomorrow, we’ll have an amazing story of how baseball brought three generations together.

Preview:

Jason Benham: Well, he joined us in our journey, and we had a shared goal, we had a shared dream, a shared vision together. Our dad actually got down into our world and he helped birth this dream, but then he helped massage it for us.

End of Preview

John: On behalf of Jim Daly and the entire team, thanks for listening today to Focus on the Family. I’m John Fuller, inviting you back as we once more help you and your family thrive in Christ.

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Fortifying Your Marriage For the Storms of Life (Part 1 of 2)

Gary Thomas offeres practical help for couples about dealing with fear, overcoming anger in conflict, staying connected with your spouse, the importance of community for your marriage, and taking your marital concerns to the Holy Spirit first instead of complaining to your spouse. (Part 1 of 2)

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Abortion Pill Reversal

Rebekah Buell Hagan shares her powerful story of pursuing a chemically-induced abortion and then experiencing a change of heart which led to saving her baby’s life. Dr. Bill Lile, a pro-life OB/GYN, explains how the abortion pill works, how its effects may be reversed, and how this option is being provided to women and teen girls who have second thoughts about having an abortion.

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Living For an Audience of One (Part 2 of 2)

Karen Ehman’s journey as a recovering people-pleaser began when she realized she was seeking others’ approval more than God’s. In this conversation, Karen shares practical guidance on healthy boundaries and encourages you to serve God intentionally in the areas he’s called you to serve.

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A Legacy of Music and Trusting the Lord

Popular Christian vocalist Larnelle Harris reflects on his five-decade music career, sharing the valuable life lessons he’s learned about putting his family first, allowing God to redeem a troubled past, recognizing those who’ve sacrificed for his benefit, and faithfully adhering to biblical principles amidst all the opportunities that have come his way.

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Accepting Your Imperfect Life

Amy Carroll shares how her perfectionism led to her being discontent in her marriage for over a decade, how she learned to find value in who Christ is, not in what she does, and practical ways everyone can accept the messiness of marriage and of life.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 2

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

Cherishing Your Spouse Every Day

Do you love your spouse, or do you truly cherish them? Gary Thomas encourages couples to make a daily effort to go beyond the ‘duty’ of love, and combat the natural inclination to drift apart, by choosing to see the best in their spouse.

Mr. Gary Thomas

Gary Thomas is an international speaker and best-selling, award-winning author whose books include Married SexSacred Marriage and Sacred Parenting. He has also written numerous articles for several prominent national magazines. Gary and his wife, Lisa, reside in Texas and have three children. You can learn more about Gary by visiting his website, www.garythomas.com.

cherish front cover

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

“Most marriages survive by gritting teeth and holding on. But marriages can and will not only survive but thrive when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another.” Those are the powerful words of bestselling author Gary Thomas in his newest book–Cherish. And in a world desperate for marriage redemption, it is needed now more than ever. Thomas shows that although there are a countless number of marriages consisting of two people just going through the motions, there are real ways this pattern can be reversed: when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another in proven, loving, and everyday actions and words.

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Newest Release - Episode 2: Heroes Providing Hope

Discover the amazing work our PRC’s Directors, Nurses, and Volunteers are making in their communities! You’ll see firsthand testimonies of a PRC in action, and that there are other options outside of abortions! You’ll also discover how your family can support your local PRC!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 4: Sometimes the Choice is Hard

Hear real life stories of parents who have made the decision to choose life even though the circumstances were overwhelming. You’ll see why “ALL” life is precious to God and why choosing life is always the right decision!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 3: The Power of a Picture

Have you ever wondered what a baby looked like in the womb? With today’s technology, Moms and Dads can see the baby’s heartbeat, facial expressions, and movements! You’ll find out why more women choose life once they hear their baby’s heartbeat and realize it’s a real living human!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 5: It’s Going to be Amazing!

After a couple has chosen life, hear the heartwarming stories of children that culture would have cast aside, yet are making tremendous impacts in their communities. Whether the diagnosis was adverse or the circumstances were difficult, these stories will inspire you to come along side of families who have chosen life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 6: Families Helping Families!

So, after all you’ve seen through the SeeLife ‘21 Episodic journey; what can you do now? We’ll share how you can partner with some amazing organizations that are making significant impacts in the pro-life movement! You want to Celebrate Life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 2

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Effective Habits to Embrace in Parenting

To be an effective parent, you must be a leader in your child’s life, guiding with a gentle hand and setting a solid example. Dr. Randy Schroeder provides the insight you need to be a leader-parent. As he explores the foundational Rs—relationship, routines, responsibilities, and rules—you’ll better understand the role you play in your child’s life. You’ll learn great phrases to employ such as “Either/Or/You Decide” and “When You/Then You”. While there is no perfect parent, this nuts-and-bolts material will equip you to lead your child in a loving, confident manner.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder has spent more than four decades writing, counseling, speaking, and teaching. For nearly 25 years, he was Vice President of Student Personnel Services, Dean of Students, and a professor of pastoral counseling at Concordia Theological Seminary in Fort Wayne, Ind. He’s also led a successful counseling practice helping individuals, couples, and families to thrive in their lives and relationships.

Cover image of Dr. Randall Schroeder's book "Simple Habits for Effective Parenting"

Simple Habits for Effective Parenting

Effective parenting is now within your grasp! With this inspiring how-to comprehensive book, achieve extraordinary results in raising a child to be self-assured, self-reliant, and responsible! You will be able to successfully lead and lovingly encourage your child toward a Godly life!

The Spiritual Battle for Your Marriage

God designed marriage to reflect His love to the world; and because of this, the enemy wants to destroy God’s beautiful design. Based on his book, Defending Your Marriage, Dr. Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff share about the reality of spiritual warfare against marriages, and how to combat the enemy’s lies with the truth of God. Couples will be encouraged that they’re not alone in the fight for a godly marriage and better equipped to be a shining example for the world around them.

Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff Cropped

Dr. Tim and Mrs. Noreen Muehlhoff

Dr. Tim Muehlhoff is a professor of communication at Biola University in La Mirada, California where he teaches classes in family communication, interpersonal communication, apologetics, gender, and conflict resolution.  Tim and his wife, Noreen, are both on staff with Biola’s Center for Marriage and Relationships  where he is a co-host of The Art of Relationship podcast. 

Defending Your Marriage

Is your marriage under attack? Sometimes it can feel like the world is trying to tear your marriage apart. Internal conflicts or external pressures might make you wonder if something sinister is going on. How can you tell if you’re facing spiritual opposition? And what can you do about it? Tim Muehlhoff provides a straightforward resource for protecting your marriage from the threats of the evil one. He looks at what Scripture says about spiritual warfare and how our everyday struggles have deeper spiritual realities. And he provides practical steps for guarding our marriages with the whole armor of God.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 1

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 2

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 2

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage - Part 2

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 2

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Embracing Your Role as a Spouse

As a spouse, you have three roles to play—a friend, a partner, and a lover. On this one-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Pastor Kevin A. Thompson explores those different roles and challenges you to live them out by investing emotionally, physically, and mentally in your relationship. As friends, he suggests we learn to play and laugh together. As partners, he equips us with solid ways to handle conflict and communication. As lovers, he offers some thoughts on how to bring back the sizzle. He shares five keys to saving your marriage: humility, respect, mercy, communication, and resilience. You’ll be encouraged to intentionally invest in your marriage.

Headshot of Kevin Thompson

Pastor Kevin Thompson

Kevin A. Thompson (MDiv, Beeson Divinity School) is lead pastor at Community Bible Church, a growing multi-site church with four locations in western Arkansas. Every year he meets with nearly one hundred couples with a range of needs, from pre-marital counseling to navigating the most serious betrayals. A marriage and parenting conference speaker, he and his wife, Jenny, have two children and live in Fort Smith, Arkansas. He blogs at kevinathompson.com.

Cover image of Kevin Thompson's book "Friends, Partners & Lovers"

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

With engaging stories and clear, simple language, pastor Kevin Thompson shows how to live out three distinct roles in marraige. Using solid biblical principles, he helps you and your spouse grow your friendship, be supportive partners through the good times and the bad, and develop a healthy and satisfying sex life.

Sharing Your Faith with Grace and Purpose

You can confidently and lovingly share your faith—you just need to learn some new tactics to do so! In this Focus on the Family Daily Broadcast, apologist Greg Koukl outlines the “Columbo” tactic of asking questions, the “self-defeating argument” tactic to find holes in your opponent’s arguments, and other specific methods for engaging in faith-building conversations with others. Greg pulls from his over 30 years of experience debating atheists and agnostics to help you share your faith with grace and truth.

Mr. Greg Koukl

Greg Koukl is a writer, public speaker and talk show host who’s spent 30 years advocating for and defending the Christian worldview. Greg has written or contributed to 15 books, including The Story of RealityTactics, and Precious Unborn Human Persons. Greg has published nearly 230 articles and has spoken on 80 college and university campuses in the U.S. and abroad.

Tactics front cover

Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition: A Game Plan for Discussing Your Christian Convictions

In a world increasingly indifferent to Christian truth, followers of Christ need to be equipped to communicate with those who do not speak their language or accept their source of authority. In Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition, Gregory Koukl demonstrates how to artfully regain control of conversations, keeping them moving forward in constructive ways through thoughtful diplomacy. You’ll learn how to stop challengers in their tracks and how to turn the tables on questions or provocative statements. Most important, you’ll learn how to get people thinking about Jesus.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 1

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

How a Former Abortion Doctor Became Pro-Life

As an abortion doctor at Planned Parenthood, Dr. Patti Giebink believed she was helping women. Later, she began reading scripture and God gradually changed her heart on the abortion issue. Patti tells the story of her long journey from abortion doctor to pro-life and encourages listeners to share the message of life with compassion.

Headshot image of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Patti Giebink

Mrs. Patti Giebink

Dr. Patti Giebink is an OB-GYN who serves on the board of the Alpha Center, a well-known pregnancy center located in Sioux Falls, S.D. She also travels intermittently to work in mission hospitals in Pakistan and other countries. After completing her medical training, Dr. Giebink worked for Planned Parenthood from 1995-1997, during which she was the only abortion-provider in the state of South Dakota. She eventually experienced a radical change of heart on the issue of abortion after receiving God’s grace, forgiveness, and love, and she is now a passionate advocate for the pro-life movement.

Cover image of the book "Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life"

Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life

Unexpected Choice is told from the perspective of a doctor who actually performed abortions through Planned Parenthood. The book chronicles her journey from being a pro-choice physician to someone speaking on behalf of the pro-life movement.

Giving up Sugar, Tasting God's Goodness

As a latchkey kid, Wendy Speake turned to sugar for comfort. Every Friday, she would pedal to the candy show and use her allowance to fill her bag with candy. And one day, when she was older and a mom of three young boys, she came to realize that she was still “pedaling” away from her stress and using sugar as comfort, instead of turning to Jesus. She was joyless, worn out, tired, and in need of a change. In this interview, Wendy will challenge Christians to take 40 days to focus on fasting from something they turn to instead of Jesus for comfort. She invited people to break free from a dependence on sugar and taste the goodness of God.

Author Wendy Speake smiling as she holds up her book "The 40-Day Social Media Fast"

Mrs. Wendy Speake

With a background in Hollywood as a trained actress, Wendy Speake ministers to women as a bible teacher by applying the power of drama, poetry and comedy to the study of Scripture and real-life application of biblical truths. She has co-authored two books with Amber Lia titled Triggers: Exchanging Parents’ Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses and their latest, Parenting Scripts: When What You’re Saying Isn’t Working, Say Something New. Wendy is also the co-author (with Kelli Stuart) of Life Creative: Inspiration for Today’s Renaissance Mom.

Cover image of the book "The 40-Day Sugar Fast"

The 40-Day Sugar Fast: Where Physical Detox Meets Spiritual Transformation

Welcome to the 40-Day Sugar Fast, a fast that begins with us giving Jesus our sugar and ends with Jesus giving us himself–the only thing that can ever truly satisfy our soul’s deep hunger. On this 40-day journey you’ll learn how to stop fixating on food and other things you use to fill the voids in life and instead fix your eyes on Christ. Anyone who runs to sugar for comfort or a reward, who eats mindlessly or out of boredom, who feels physically and spiritually lethargic, or who struggles with self-control will discover here not only freedom from their cravings but an entirely new appetite for the good things God has for us.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 1

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 2

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 2

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

Reconciling Faith and Science in a Medical Crisis

Dr. Lee Warren is a neurosurgeon who has faced many heavy challenges in his life – from serving in the Iraq War to removing deadly brain tumors to experiencing the loss of a teenage son. He’ll share about his difficult quest to find answers to some of life’s toughest questions, while holding onto his faith in God and the sure hope of heaven

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. W. Lee Warren

Dr. Lee Warren

W. Lee Warren, M.D., is a brain surgeon , inventor, Iraq War veteran, and author of I’ve Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon’s Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know, winner of the Christian Book Award®. His previous book, No Place to Hide, was included on the 2015 U.S. Air Force Chief of Staff’s Recommended Reading List. Dr. Warren has appeared on The 700 Club and the CBS Evening News, and his writings have been featured in Guideposts magazine. His Dr. Lee Warren Podcast, which is heard in more than 60 countries, helps listeners use the power of neuroscience, faith, and common sense to change their lives.

Cover image of Dr. Lee Warren's book "I've Seen the End of You"

I've Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon's Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know

This gripping inspirational memoir grapples with the tension between faith and science—and between death and hope—as a seasoned neurosurgeon faces insurmountable odds and grief both in the office and at home.

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 1

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 1

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage Part 1

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 1

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 1

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

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Newest Release - Episode 1: The Truth About Life!

In this episode, we will tackle tough questions like, “When does life begin?” and “What does the Bible
say about Life?” You’ll discover and understand the stages of pre-born life and that babies are more than
just a clump of cells!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Thank you for committing to pray for the pre-born!

Sign up below for your free seven-day prayer guide. This daily guide will help give direction to your prayers for the pro-life movement. We will be praying with you!