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Focus on the Family Broadcast

Grabbing Hold of God

Grabbing Hold of God

Kim Meeder shares her powerful testimony of how God used the steady love of horses to help her heal from the murder-suicide of her parents, and how she and her husband started a ranch to help troubled youth by pairing them with abused horses for mutual healing.
Original Air Date: September 16, 2021

Preview:

Kim Meeder: All I knew was in that moment, there was a pop in my heart, and ignition of hope. And from that little, tiny flame came a voice that said, “You will get through this. You will survive.”

End of Preview

John Fuller: Well, Kim Meeder has encouragement for anyone in difficult circumstances. Today on Focus on the Family, your host is Focus president Jim Daly, and I’m John Fuller.

Jim Daly: Many of our listeners are familiar with Kim Meeder. She’s been on this broadcast several times, and she always has fascinating stories to share from her ranch, where rescued horses and hurting children find hope and healing. Uh, today, we have a speech from Kim that is very powerful. She’s going to share a terrible, uh, trauma from her childhood and explain how the Lord used those circumstances to equip her to minister to others. In addition to her work at Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, Kim is a top-level Nordic skier, a biathlete, uh, an outdoor adventurer, and is the author of six books. I don’t know how she finds time (laughs) to do all that.

John: Mm-hmm.

Jim: Including, uh, Hope Rising: Stories from the Ranch of Rescued Dreams.

John: And we have that book here at Focus on the Family. Get your copy when you call 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY, or you’ll find it at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast. All right. Here’s Kim Meeder speaking at Hope Fellowship in Frisco, Texas at their Mother’s Day service on today’s episode of Focus on the Family.

Kim: Welcome to the Mother’s Day service. And so in my time of praying over what Jesus Christ would wish for moms to hear today, his answer came back unequivocally what he desires to give to moms today is found is Galatians 5:1. And it simply says this: “It is for freedom that Jesus Christ has set us free.” It is for freedom. Jesus Christ did not come to this earth and endure the cross so that any one of us would live outside the power of his loving freedom. There is not a man or a woman here today who is not experiencing right now an attack from the enemy. If Jesus Christ is the Lord of your life, you are under attack. That’s how that works. And the enemy wants to move into the land of your heart, a heart that Jesus Christ gave his life to redeem. And he comes in in so many insidious ways. He comes in through fear and he comes in through anxiety, depression, guilt, shame, doubt, frustration, anger, bitterness, unforgiveness. You don’t know what they did to me. I will never forgive them. Unforgiveness rots the container that holds it. Jesus did not endure the cross so that you and I would live in a no man’s land of lukewarmness for Him. He is not going to share your heart with anybody. He doesn’t want to heal a part of your heart. When you only give God part of your heart, that’s the only part he can heal. That’s like giving him part of your cancer. He doesn’t want to heal part of your cancer. He wants to heal all of it. He doesn’t want to lead part of you. He wants to lead all of you. I can tell you with certainty, as a rancher, unless all that horse decides to come with you, you’re not going anywhere.

Audience: (Laughing).

Kim: And, and it’s a lot like us and Jesus Christ. He doesn’t want to lead part of us. He wants us to be wholehearted for His glory. And in that wholeheartedness, everything that he is, he wants to fill our hearts with him. On this Mother’s Day, the, a-, as good as flowers and brunch are, he wants to give you his best. And that is the full freedom of his presence in you. Happy Mother’s Day.

Audience: (Laughing).

Kim: And so when it comes to freedom, freedom happens the same way in every heart. Jesus Christ says in, in John 8:32 that, that you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. You want more freedom? Know more truth. It’s right here. And that he is the way, the truth, and the life and no one comes to the Father but through the love of Jesus Christ. And a lot of people have trouble with that, “Well, that’s kind of exclusive.” And God in his grace has made eight billion ways to know the love of Jesus Christ. That’s how many people there are in the world today. He loves us that much. How his freedom enters a life is when we ask the author of freedom and hope to move in and become the Lord of our hearts. That’s where freedom starts. And that journey started in this life when I was nine years of age. And at nine years of age, I would look at my mom and think, “I just want to grow up and be just like her.” And my dad was a wild child of the wilderness, and he was a downhill ski instructor on Mount Shasta, which is the biggest volcano in the lower 48. And, and we would go to the top and ski right off the top, and he would hold me under my armpits and I would just hang on to his kneecaps and be like, “Okay, Daddy. I’m good.” And, and we would just go. And I was never afraid because my dad had me. And in my young heart, I just knew that my dad wore a cape and could fly. He was a superhero, and there was nothing that he couldn’t do. And I grew up in the combined castle of their love for me. And it was during that season that my dad’s best friend came to my little grade school and picked me up and put me in the back seat of his car along with my two older sisters, and he wouldn’t speak to us. And I knew that something horrific had happened and no one will tell me what it is. And we started to drive in silence, this long, familiar road out to my grandparents’ house. And I just felt like I was being choked by unseen hands around my throat that, eh, I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe. I just know something terrible has happened. And as we drove down my grandparents’ driveway, there were just cars parked everywhere and you could feel grief just coming from the house. And for the first time in my young life, I did not want to go into a home where I ever only felt love, because I was afraid. I was afraid.  And I was just taken by my shoulders and just pushed into the house, and it was full of all these grieving, wailing people. And I was pushed into the arms of a woman that I, I recognized. I didn’t know her name. And she was crying so hard that she sounded like she was choking. And she just kept going around and around in this nauseating vortex of, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Sorry. I don’t know how to tell you. I’m sorry. I’m just sorry. I don’t know what to say. I’m so sorry. Your dad has just murdered your mom and he’s taken his life, and sorry. Sorry.” And I remember thinking, “Wait a minute. My dad loves my mom and he loves me, and he would never do that. You’re a liar,” and just popped off her chest and ran out the back door in a child’s effort to outrun the unthinkable. The unthinkable. And just ran and ran and ran in, in this child’s effort to just escape. And I had been running through an orchard that had just been overturned, and, and I remember just falling face down in the dirt, in this soft earth, and was screaming and gasping and inhaling dirt and choking and retching. And, and I could hear what I thought were animal sounds, and I didn’t even recognize the sound of my own voice. And I could hear myself say, “Jesus. Jesus. Will you help me? I need you now. Jesus, will you help me?” I didn’t even know who Jesus was. I wasn’t raised in the church. I’d been to church maybe twice in my life. All I knew about Jesus was that I think he’s the guy on the cross. And what I now know, I, I didn’t understand the power of Romans chapter one that declares, “Every human heart has within it the capacity to know the God who created it.” And when our heart is being crushed by pain, we know intuitively to turn to the only one who could heal it. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you were taught to believe or what culture you were raised in. When our heart is being destroyed, we know to turn to the only one who can heal it. And that’s the one who made it. I did not know the power of verses like Romans 10:13 that declares, “Everyone, everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” Everyone. Jesus has done everything so that you and I can know his freedom. I didn’t know any of that. All I knew was in that moment, there was a pop in my heart, an ignition of hope. And from that little, tiny flame came a voice that said, “You will get through this. You will survive. Everything’s going to be okay. You’ll see.” And I knew in a way that I cannot explain that I was no longer alone. That’s all I knew. On that day, my sisters and I moved in with my grandparents, three broken little girls moving in with the parents who just lost a child. Broken, broken, broken. And right now, I just need to take them aside and say, “All you grandparents, thank you. Thank you that you’ve not only raised your kids and your kids’ kids and your friends’ kids and everybody’s kids. You are the glue in our imploding nation of going after the orphans that are falling through the cracks.” And I just want to say thank you to all of you. Your love matters more than you will ever know. Please receive that encouragement from a former orphan who was redeemed by the love of grandparents. Thank you. My precious little grandmother, who was about this big and I used to carry her around under my arm (laughs), and the older I get, the wiser she becomes. And she had the wisdom to buy a little horse for me. And I would run all the way home, run through the front door, out the back door, running to get to this horse, because I knew that there was no better place than to cry than on my horse’s neck. And I would just get on her back, bareback, just with a rope around her neck, and just gallop and gallop, jumping over creeks and logs and ducking under limbs. And how I didn’t die, I, I’ll never know. And that I, I always envisioned my pain was never fast enough to keep up. And when I finally felt safe is when we would pull down to a walk, and that’s where the truth of God’s words started to find its way into this wild child’s heart. And just for clarity’s sake, I was not saved by a horse. I was saved by Jesus Christ on the back of a horse. Big difference. Big difference. And what I didn’t know is finding hope in Jesus Christ in the presence of a horse, that the Lord was at work and he was building something beautiful.

John: You’re listening to Kim Meeder on Focus on the Family. And you can get Kim’s book Hope Rising, along with a CD of this entire presentation, when you call 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY. That’s 800-232-6459. Or you can donate and request those resources at our website focusonthefamily.com/broadcast. Let’s go ahead and return now to more on Focus on the Family from Kim Meeder.

Kim: Our pain has a purpose, all of it. God will use every single day of the pain that you and I endure. And when we’re in pain, we just can’t receive that. And it, it just makes us mad. You don’t know what I’m going through. How dare you tell me everything’s going to be all right? You don’t know. But he does. And what we feel doesn’t change the power of what’s true. Verses like second Corinthians one, three, and four says, “Don’t you know that God’s going to comfort you in your time of need? So when others go through something similar, you can give them the comfort that he’s given you.” Your pain has a purpose when you give it to him. He’s the God of the phenomenon of Genesis 50:20, what Satan meant to destroy you by. I’m going to take that very thing and have that be what I give you, life. And not only you, but everyone you give it to. That’s how that works. If you will trust me with your pain and keep walking through that valley of the shadow of darkness, nowhere in here does it say to camp out and live there. Nowhere in here does it say to go find yourself. Everywhere in here it says find Jesus. And that’s the shortest journey you will ever make, because he is with you right now, offering you everything that he is, all his hope, all his joy, all his love. If you and I don’t have those things in abundance in our heart, it’s for one reason only. One. We are believing a lie. We have been lied to, and the enemy has moved right in and is setting up a camp in this heart. And our focus is no longer on him. It’s come around like a black boomerang. And now, I’m just caved in and focused on everything that’s hurts. And I’m never going to be more than this. I’m never going to get through this. God can’t fix this. Friend, if I knew who you were, I would look right in your face and say, “I love you. But how you feel is not what is true. Jesus Christ can heal everything that is broken and hurting in your heart today.” He can heal everything, except one thing and only one thing. And that, my friends, is the pain that you will not give him. And that’s just pain that kills. And that’s on us. The Lord of all creation is reaching for you now, beloved. Matthew 11:28, “Come on. You can give that to me and I will take it. And I’m going to heal your heart. But you have to want to give that pain to me, and I will transform it from my glory.” Met and married my husband. We moved to the eastern slope of the Cascade Mountain Range. I live on the ring of fire on a volcano. And we bought ridiculous, broken property. I literally had … It’s up the hillside, eight, uh, 8.9 acres of rock pit. The whole upper half has been mined for cinders, which is volcanic glass. I bought a hole in the ground. My husband and I did. (Laughs). And, and it was so destroyed, no one else wanted it. No trees, no grass, no dirt. That’s pretty poor if you don’t own dirt. We didn’t.

Audience: (Laughing).

Kim: And, and yet we filled this broken property with all these broken trees. My husband was a landscape contractor at the time, and he started bringing them home. And then we rescued the first two broken horses. One was missing a third of her normal body weight. If you did the math on you, you would die. And the second horse from the same location, I saw the former owner beat her so badly that he needed to call a vet to come and sew up her face. My horse has an eight-inch scar between her eyes to this day. And that was the beginning of the ranch, which is a, a hole in the ground, broken property with this broken life filled with broken trees and broken horses. And as only Jesus Christ can, he took all those broken pieces and said, “Now watch this.” And he refit them together to become the perfect place to heal the hearts of broken kids. And the kids started coming. And they weren’t coming for what they could get. The horses weren’t trained. They weren’t strong enough. They weren’t rideable. These kids were coming for what they could give. And we started seeing, in their efforts to make the horses better, that the kids themselves started getting better. And one day, in a sideways snowstorm, I saw a mute young woman speak freely to a horse, years and years of words that no one had ever heard. This horse could go where no one was allowed. And that’s when I heard the voice of my Savior say, “Do you see what I’m doing down there? She’s finding me just like you did. Now, does it make sense why I allowed you to walk through that valley of the shadow of darkness? Because I’m calling you to help others find their way, too.” That was 24 years ago. And in 24 years, God has been so hard at work. In 24 years, we’ve rescued more than 300 horses. We serve m-, about 5,000 visitors a season, mostly kids, all free of charge, because God’s not poor. And when God is in something, he’s the one who lays it on the hearts of men to provide. Only God can do that. That’s a version of what his freedom can look like through anybody who just gives him everything. He doesn’t want our parts and our pieces and our hokey pokey. Got my heart in. Oh, no. My heart’s out. No, no. Okay. Now you can … No, no. I don’t trust you. He wants us to be all in for me. All in. If you are suffering today and you’ve got pain, anger, grief, guilt, all, all that whole blacklist, everyone who’s honest would raise their hand. You are under attack. And I came today to tell you there is freedom. How do we gain that freedom in Jesus Christ? Ephesians 5:1 says that we are to imitate Jesus in everything we do. When Jesus was confronted by Satan through Peter in Matthew 16:23, here’s what he said: “Satan, get behind me, because our Lord has no backup in him at all. He is moving forward, deeper into the will of God, and he’s taking back the land that Satan has encroached on.” That’s what our Lord is doing. How do we do that? Again, we do exactly what Jesus did. When Jesus fasted for 40 days and he was in the wilderness, of course, that’s when the enemy came, when he was at his absolute physical weakest. And here’s what Jesus didn’t do. Well, here’s all my vast experiences. Here’s my amazing education and all my certifications and degrees. Here’s my logic. And for women, here’s what he really did do. This is how I feel. Ladies, our feelings lie to us every day. Our feelings have no bearing on the power of this. This is the same yesterday, today, and forever. And you can build a life on it. Here’s what Jesus did do. He quoted God’s word. He quoted his dad. And that instantly defeated Satan then, and it instantly defeats him now. You want more freedom? We need to know God’s word. John 8:32 says, “You’ll know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” Need more freedom? Know more truth. That’s how that works. To know more truth, I’ve often thought … I’m so visual in learning and I’ve often thought, “Wouldn’t it be awesome to just tattoo God’s word all over your arms?” And then you could be like, “How about that one today?”

Audience: (Laughing).

Kim: And the Lord has let me know, “Honey, as good as that might be, I really want my word to be tattooed here and here, because then it’s going to come out here and here. I want my word to be tattooed in you, because that’s what transforms the world around you.” And of the verses, God’s word is so powerful. Single lines can change everything when we apply them. One of those that’s just rocking my world is first Corinthians 16:13. And it simply says this: “Stand guard. Be on guard. Stand true to what you believe. Be courageous, strong, and loving.” They just fall like hammer blows. You want to defeat the enemy in your life? Start practicing that and tattoo that on your forehead. Be on guard. Stand true to what you believe. Be courageous, strong, and let everything you do be done in love.

John: In the interest of time, we’re going to have to stop this message, uh, right there from Kim Meeder. But later in this presentation, she shared a story about a hike she took right here in the mountains of Colorado. And she had a face-to-face encounter with a mountain lion. It’s a remarkable account. Uh, so stop by the website to hear that. That’s focusonthefamily.com/broadcast.

Jim: Kim is an amazing storyteller, isn’t she? Uh, and she always brings a spiritual application that is spot on. Uh, we are really grateful for her friendship and, uh, support of Focus on the Family over the years. And what an incredible woman of God and what a great reminder that our Lord can redeem any situation, such as the tragic murder-suicide of Kim’s parents, and use it for his good. Kim is living proof of that. And if this message brought up some painful memories for you, uh, please give us a call. Our staff would count it a privilege to hear your story and pray with you. And if needed, they can set up a call back from one of our caring Christian counselors.

John: And help is just a phone call away. It’s 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY, 800-232-6459.

Jim: Uh, you know, our counselors are very talented. And many of them are specialists in specific areas like childhood trauma, addiction, marital issues, and so on. And we are able to provide these consultations for free thanks to the generosity of our donors. Here’s a success story we received from Bonnie. She wrote, “I started listening to Focus on the Family as a lonely and overwhelmed young mom and found the parenting tools I needed. At one point, I was really struggling in our marriage and reached out to a Focus counselor. What a great service. The help and prayer went beyond what I imagined. I’m happy to say that now my husband and I are celebrating 40 years of marriage. Because of that one desperate phone call that I made, God gave me the tools to lead a bible study, encouraging women to seek God and heal their marriages. The impact of that outreach continues today. Praise God for his work through your ministry.”

John: I love hearing stories like that and how God, uh, takes what little bit we can do and, and makes such a big change in someone’s life.

Jim: Yeah. It’s wonderful. And if you have a heart for this ministry, let me just say you can do ministry through Focus on the Family. We already have the staff and the bible-based materials. We just need your financial support, what I call the rocket fuel, to continue the work. We are a nonprofit organization and we rely on your participation and contributions. The best way to help us is by becoming a monthly donor. It doesn’t have to be a large amount. It’s the consistency that really helps us month to month. And when you make a monthly pledge of any amount, I’d like to send you a copy of Kim Meeder’s book Hope Rising: Stories from the Ranch of Rescued Dreams. It’s a fascinating read about the work she does at her ranch with wounded horses and troubled children. And if you can’t commit to a monthly gift right now, we get that. Uh, we’ll send you the book for a one-time gift of any amount. It all helps. Join us as we partner with the Lord to help families thrive.

John: And you can reach us when you call 800-A-FAMILY, 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY or donate online and request the book Hope Rising at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast. Next time on Focus on the Family, Doctors Les and Leslie Parrott offer some life-changing insights on how to have a stronger, healthier relationship.

Preview:

Leslie Parrott: The best gift I could ever give my relationships is to work on who I am within them. And as I change, the transformation isn’t a private one. It begins to ripple out to every bond I build.

End of Preview

John: On behalf of Jim Daly and the entire team, thanks for joining us today for Focus on the Family. I’m John Fuller, inviting you back as we once more help you and your family thrive in Christ.

Today's Guests

Cover image of Kim Meeder's book "Hope Rising"

Hope Rising: Stories From the Ranch of Rescued Dreams

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