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Focus on the Family Broadcast

Nurture Your Wife, Stay Married for Life!

Nurture Your Wife, Stay Married for Life!

In this ‘classic’ Promise Keepers message, Dan & Jane Seaborn take the stage together to provide a fun look at the differences between men and women. Then Dan delivers a serious, passionate message encouraging men to nurture their wives, avoid the dangers of pornography, and commit to staying married for life.
Original Air Date: September 8, 2022

Preview:

John Fuller: Men and women are just different.

Jane Seaborn: I like to eat at restaurants like The Olive Garden.

Dan Seaborn: I like to eat at restaurants like Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Audience: Yeah. (Applause)

Jane: I like frozen yogurt.

Dan: Yogurt is a joke.

Jane: And-

Audience: (laughs) (Applause)

Dan: It’s a joke.

End of Preview

John: (laughs) Dan and Jane Seaborn will explain some more contrast today between men and women and how those differences can impact your marriage. Uh, thanks for joining us. I’m John Fuller and our host is Focus on the Family President, Jim Daly.

Jim Daly: John, this is a great presentation from a Promise Keepers’ event recorded back in the 90s. And here’s why we’re airing this timeless message today. Uh, Dan is challenging men to really think about what it means to follow the biblical admonition to nourish and cherish your wife, in spite of all of the differences that you have in your relationship. Uh, let me quickly set up the visuals for you. Dan is speaking at a large stadium filled with men. And on stage he has a candle burning. And the flame represents the marriage. Later on you’ll hear him use a squirt gun and fire (laughs) extinguisher as he explains how that marriage flame can be extinguished.

John: Yeah, Dan is very creative on the stage.

Jim: Yeah.

John: And Dan Seaborn, for that reason, is a much sought-after speaker. He’s an author and the founder and president of Winning at Home. Uh, Jane Seaborn is a former math teacher who enjoys coaching women to love their husbands in practical ways. And here now are the Seaborn’s on today’s episode of Focus on the Family.

Dan: I wan- I wanna tell you guys that yesterday, um, I’m gonna do a little confession before I start. Yesterday I wasn’t a good husband. My wife and I flew down here, I’ve been traveling Alabama and other places. She’s sitting right here, she’s gonna do, do something in a minute with me. You’ll meet her, Jane. This week I’ve been up, three or four nights this week to 1:30 dealing with issues. I’m tired. I’d like to go home and not have issues for a few days. And some of you’re sitting here, and you got, like, big burdens about your fa- you’d love to bottle up what you felt this weekend and take it home. And didn’t start out there, did it? I mean, see, I remember thinking and hearing about marriage and family and going, “Oh man, when we get there, that’s gonna be fun and easy.” Oh my goodness.

Audience: (laughs)

Dan: Because I remember the first girl I ever dated. I thought I was gonna marry. I, that’s the unity candle that represents unity. I thought I was gonna get the unity candle with the first girl I ever liked. She was, she was a pretty girl, man. Sanja, her name is Sanja. And she, she could kiss good. I remember her really good. You kids are, you, your teens and kids here, remember that first one? And, and I remember I, uh, I, well, I liked her a lot and I struck the match. I struck the match with her that I thought was gonna get to the unity candle. I thought I was gonna marry that girl. I struck that match and it started burning and it burned out. I didn’t get to the unity candle with her. Didn’t make it. And then I left first grade and, uh…

Audience: (laughs)

Dan: And then, and in third grade I met Tina Harrison, little Tina Harrison. I grew up in South Carolina. She was a little South Carolina girl. I lit that match. And man, she was prettier than Sanja. And I thought I was gonna get the unity candle with, with Tina, but, uh, I didn’t make it, it burned out. And I kept striking matches just to watch them burn, country song. And, uh…

Audience: (laughs)

Dan: And, you know, I didn’t know it at the time, but a girl named Jane was striking matches too. And finally one day, I’m gonna tell you how I met Jane, ’cause I… one of the things I, I want you guys to know is I’m one of you. Uh, you sometimes see speakers get up your own stage and you probably have this thought like, “Oh, he wrote a book.” Let me say something about people that write books, whoopty doo. It just means that somebody did something, helped them get it there, okay? That don’t make you squat. But I want you to know, I am just like you. I struggle just like you. That’s what I want you to see. And so I, I wanna tell you how I met my wife because, you know, you’re probably looking you go, “Oh, oh, I bet he was out praying, and the Lord brought her walking up to him.” Nope. We were in college and she, uh, she was at a vending machine and I, I couldn’t even see her front side. She was at the vending machine, and she had put her money in and obviously the thing wasn’t working and it, it, it didn’t do it right. And it dropped it… You know, when it gets hung up in there? And the first time I saw her, she was…

Audience: (laughs)

Dan: She was reaching up like that right there. And I walked up, my buddy David Hyatt was wal-, it is a true story. I don’t lie when I speak, okay? I’m walking with my buddy, David Hyatt. Lives in Picking South Carolina. I was walking with David. I say, “Whoa, whoa, whoa.” And I looked over and she, the, this girl, I didn’t know who it was at the time, but she was standing there getting that thing outta that vending machine. And I said to David, “I’m gonna go over there and help that girl. And if the front matches the back, we’re good to go.” That’s what I said.

Audience: (laughs)

Dan: Yeah. Yeah. So, so don’t walk up to me and say, “Oh, Mr. Spiritual guru.” Uh, uh.

Audience: (laughs)

Dan: I didn’t start out spiritual. And I struck that match, man, that girl, I talked her into it. We went out on a date. She didn’t really, she didn’t want a date. She said, you’ve heard this. She said, “I just wanna be friends.” I hate that man. But I tricked her finally and got her to liking me and we struck a match, and we lit our unity candle. I want you to know this, this summer it’s been burning for 25 years, a little over 10,000 days.

Audience: (Applause)

Dan: The problem is, the problem is we’re not alike. You know, I just can’t get her to see that she’s got some areas she’s got to really change for us to be alike.

Audience: (laughs)

Dan: And see, we are, we are really, really, really different people. In fact, I’m asking my wife to join me out here for a second. Help me welcome Jane. I wanna just show you how different we are. Come on out, babe. Uh, this is my wife Jane, 25 years. She’s a math teacher. So she uses her math part of her brain. I don’t even get math. I always say to people when X plus Y equals Z, it’s over, you know what I mean? I don’t, I don’t get that.

Audience: (laughs)

Dan: But what we’ve done here for your sake to help you understand how much like us and, you know, you are, and we are like you, we made a list of our differences. We did this, how long do you think 10 years ago we started doing this, and people enjoyed it. So I wanna just kind of show you some of our differences. Let’s do it, babe.

Jane: To start with I’m more of an introvert and being in front of you is not very comfortable for me.

Dan: Yep. That’s right.

Jane: Okay.

Audience: (laughs)

Jane: Uh-

Dan: But I told her if she’d do this, I’d take care of her later. So she’s willing to do it.

Audience: (laughs)

Dan: Just kidding. Just kidding, just kidding.

Audience: (laughter)

Jane: I like hot tea.

Dan: I like sweetened iced tea.

Jane: I don’t like to be sweaty.

Dan: Oh, I love to sweat.

Jane: To me, yellow lights mean you’re supposed to stop.

Dan: To me and yellow lights mean floor it, baby, floor it.

Audience: Yes. (Applause)

Jane: He drives way too fast.

Dan: She drives way too slow.

Jane: And I keep both eyes on the road when I’m driving.

Dan: I keep both my eyes on her when I’m driving.

Audience: (laughs)

Jane: And Dan drives too close to the car in front of him and too close to the center line when he’s driving.

Dan: And Jane drives too close to the center of every pothole in the stinking road when she drives.

Audience: (laughs)

Dan: You got a life like that? I’m like, “honey, didn’t you see it coming?”

Audience: (laughs)

Jane: I like grilled chicken.

Dan: I like my chicken deep fried in Crisco oil and covered in shake and bake.

Audience: Yeah. (Cheering)

Dan: We gotta do a women’s conference sometime so all the women will cheer for your stuff. (laughs)

Audience: (laughs)

Jane: I like d- whenever I stand in front of the mirror, it’s to primp and get ready.

Dan: I’m flexing, man. I’m checking it out, you know.

Audience: (laughs)

Jane: And I like for things to stay the same.

Dan: Yeah. I, I change something every day. It’s just my style.

Jane: Yeah. And when we disagree, he wants to just talk it to death.

Dan: And she, she’s the one that gets really quiet. And that just drives me crazy.

Jane: Um, when we golf, I’m patient with groups in front of us if we have to wait.

Dan: I like to sting the ball right off their forehead, man. Hey.

Audience: (laughs)

Dan: That ticks me off. Hurry up, hit the ball. You’re no good, that’s why you’re so slow.

Audience: (laughs)

Jane: I like to sleep in warm nighties.

Dan: I prefer to sleep in the buff.

Audience: (laughs)

Jane: And I, I enjoy watching movies like Sleepless in Seattle.

Dan: I fell asleep watching the movie Sleepless in Seattle.

Audience: (laughs)

Jane: Yeah.

Dan: (laughs)

Jane: I like quiet music.

Dan: Give me something with a beat.

Jane: Yeah. I like to eat at restaurants like The Olive Garden.

Dan: I like to eat at restaurants like Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Audience: Yeah. (Applause)

Jane: I like frozen yogurt.

Dan: Yogurt is a joke.

Jane: And-

Audience: (laughs)

Dan: It’s a joke.

Jane: I wouldn’t say I’m good, but I’m okay around the house with a tool.

Dan: You’re, you’re very, she’s very good with tools. I’m actually not good with tools. You’re good with tools.

Jane: Yeah. I prefer a good massage.

Dan: I like to be very lightly scratched.

Jane: And I think it’s important to look nice to, when you read-, lea- when you leave the house.

Dan: It does not matter how you look when you leave your house.

Audience: (laughs)

Jane: (laughs) Um, I like the color fuchsia.

Dan: Blue.

Jane: I like for my undergarments to be neat and clean.

Dan: Holes, baby. Big holes.

Audience: (laughs)

Jane: (laughs) I prefer to shower alone.

Dan: I prefer to shower together.

Audience: Yeah. (Cheers)

Jane: I think kittens are cute.

Dan: Dead.

Audience: (laughs) (Woot, woot!)

Dan: Thank you.

Jane: I always iron my clothes.

Dan: Wrinkles are cool.

Audience: (laughs)

Jane: (laughs) I, I love to watch shows like CSI.

Dan: I love to watch shows like ESPN.

Audience: Yeah. (Cheers)

Jane: I prefer small groups.

Dan: I like a big crowd.

Jane: And I would never, ever yell at a ref at a ball game.

Dan: You know, somebody’s gotta tell those clowns when they’re wrong, you know?

Audience: (laughs) yeah.

Dan: Sometimes if we’re at a game and, like, I’m yelling at a ref or something, you know? I hardly ever do it, when I do it, uh, Jane will be like, “Honey, they recognize your voice, you know?” Cause I do radio and stuff. And so I’ll go, “You ref, you’re an idiot. Get outta here”

Audience: (laughs)

Dan: Change your voice, you know? If you’re a ref you’re, God bless you, thanks for your ministry by the way.

Audience: (laughs)

Jane: When I see a sign, I follow the rules.

Dan: I don’t even see the signs.

Audience: (laughs)

Jane: When I’m sick I don’t whine.

Dan: I don’t mean to, but I need her when I’m sick.

Jane: I, I don’t think that physical intimacy needs to be such a big focus in a marriage.

Dan: I agree. I think once a day’s plenty.

Audience: (laughter)

Dan: Okay. I don’t have a lot of time. It’s gonna be your afternoon if we get out of here late.

Jane: But sometimes his parents drive me crazy.

Dan: Ditto.

Jane: I will stop and ask for directions.

Dan: God has blessed me with an internal compass. (laughs)

Audience: (laughs)

Jane: And in spite of all of these and many, many more differences I still love this man.

Dan: Yeah, I love you too, babe. You’re awesome. Thank you.

Audience: (Applause)

Dan: Take that. Thank you. Well, I, I share that with you on purpose because I want you to know before I say what I’m about to say about this candle, before I tell you how to keep it burning. Before I tell you, what Satan’s trying to do to put yours out. I want you to understand you’re not looking at a couple that just get in their home and just everything flows along. Like no, not at all in the Seaborn home. I told you I was up three or four nights this week to 1:30, okay? You get it? I got a 21-year-old, a 18-year-old, a 16-year-old, am a 12-year-old. We got issues in our house. You get it? Okay?

Audience: (laughs)

Dan: So I’m trying to help you understand I relate to your life. And so, what I have to do is instead of saying, “Dan’s got the answers.” Instead of saying that I wanna show you, I wanna show you what’s happening in our society. I want you as a group of guys to step back for a second and I want you to look at your life, ’cause some of you are 12 and you’re striking matches. Some of you are 21 and you’re thinking about that girl, you’re dating her, and you’re really close to asking her. Some of you have been through five divorces. I don’t know but somebody here’s been divorced five times and you’re going, “What’s wrong with me? How can I do it?” Well, the first thing I want you to know is that candle that’s burning up there, I want you to get this, this is real important. You gotta step back and see it. We think that marriage is about us like me and Jane, it’s not. When God designed marriage, he looked down from heaven and was like, “Okay. I gotta somehow, um, have these people understand what heaven’s supposed to look like. So if I can get a man…” And this is all throughout the scripture, Revelations, Ephesians. “I-if I can get a man to act like Christ and a woman to act like the church, um, I’ll put them together and I’ll have a little piece of heaven on earth.” And God goes, “Oh, that’s what I’ll do. I’ll design a man and a woman to stay married for life and I’ll give them… Oh, then the kids growing up in that house, they’ll be like, “Oh, this is like heaven.”” And so Satan said, you know what I’m gonna do? I’m gonna cause divorce and I’m gonna tear this family to shreds and I’m gonna help kids learn what it is to grow up in hell on earth. And let me just ask you guys a question here, okay? Li-listen, would you say that your home, as you look at it, would you say it’s more like heaven or more like hell? I’ll be honest with you and tell you, there are days I feel like mine, just a little piece of hell. But my goal is as a man, listen to me, you guys sitting in this room, li-listen to me. You are the owners of the responsibility of loving your wife and children in awesome and crazy ways, okay? And I’m gonna show you right now. I’m out to do it really quick here.

Audience: (Applause)

Dan: Up here on this thing, now I want you to look. We got a candle burning. And I wanna show you what’s happening in our society. Let me tell you why I see some of you men do it. You’re doing it right now in your houses. You did it before you came here. Some of you have put, like, this globe over your marriage candle, and you’re snuffing your own marriage out. You’re not honoring your wife. You’re not celebrating her. You’re not lifting her up. You don’t encourage her. You don’t say things to her like, “I cherish you. I love you. I wanna be a good husband to you.” And you’ve put out the candle. There’s no oxygen to give candle flame to this thing. See? It’s out. And it’s just a little puff of smoke left. If I, if I light this candle and I get it going. And it gets to burning there’s enough oxygen in this place right here that it’s not going out as long as that wick is there. And you as men need to understand a lot of you go, “Why am I having so much trouble in my family? Why am I struggling with my children? Why is my marriage not doing well?” Because you are snuffing it out by the way you live. Yesterday I was snuffing out my marriage. I was being critical. Jane couldn’t do anything right on the plane down here. I’d be like, “Well, why are you doing that?” And she finally just looked at me and said, “Can I do anything right?” She was right. I had to turn to my wife yesterday and say, “Baby, I’m wrong. I’m being terrible.” I said, “Here I am going down there to speak to all these guys and as the husband right now, I mean, I’m not doing good at all. I’m just terrible.”

John: You’re listening to Focus on The Family and that’s Dan Seaborn being very transparent. And, uh, we have a CD of this program with extra content available to you for a gift of any amount to the ministry. Just call 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY. 800-232-6459 or donate and request the CD at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast.

Dan: Let me tell you something else that’s going on in our society. Oh, yeah. They’re kind of shooting at that candle. And they’re saying, you know what? Marriage isn’t a man and a woman. Marriage is a man and a man. Marriage is a man and adultery. And marriage is a man having a couple of women to sleep around with. Marriage is a man with his girls at the bar. And they’re shooting at your candle saying, “Oh, go ahead and put it out, man. It’s silly. Just put it out.” Society’s trying to redefine marriage. Let me just say this really bold and really strong. And you get in trouble for this in our nation. So I’m getting in trouble right now. Marriage was designed by God; you didn’t come up with it and I didn’t come up with it. God came up with it. If he came up with it, don’t mess with it. Don’t mess with it.

Audience: (Applause)

Dan: So, so while, while society shoots at it, you keep yours burning. Keep teaching your children that marriage is got manmade, marriage is God made. And the next thing, oh, Satan, man. He’s sneaky. He’s walking around looking for some couple he can just blow out of the water. Oh yeah. He’s ready. He’s walking around going, “Boy, if I can put that flame out.” I’ll tell you how he does this. He does this with, um, uh, adultery, pornography. (fire extinguisher sound) A lot of you right now know that in your life (fire extinguisher sound) Satan’s shooting pornography all over you. Tried to shoot it at me last night, I stayed right here in the Marriott with my wife, Jane, laying in bed last night late. Tried to shoot it at me, man. Some trash came on television. I said, “Jane, gotta turn it off, babe. I gotta turn it off.” And I’m telling you, get some protection ’cause Satan wants to use that trash to knock down your marriage. And you boys who are here that are 12, 13, 14, 15, 11, 10, 9, 8, when I was your age, I started seeing it and it messed me up. Even as a young boy, I didn’t realize it, but Satan was putting that stuff (fire extinguisher sound) in my life, and I let myself look at it and it messed me up. Took me years to work out of it and I still have to be careful. You say you cu- I, I remember one time talking to my grandpa, he was 80 rocking on his front porch. And I said to him, “Boy, grandpa, I can’t wait till I’m your age and don’t struggle with seeing women and all that stuff.” He was rocking. He stopped on his rocker up on the front and the little porch and six miles south. He rocked up on the front and he goes, “What are you talking about, boy?” He’s 80.

Audience: (laughs)

Dan: I’m like, “grandpa, you, like, see a woman that still messes with you?” And he was like, “Whoa boy, whoa boy.”

Audience: (laughs)

Dan: So I’m figuring this never stops. So what am I gonna do? What am I gonna do in a world when you walk in the malls, pretty much the women are nude in the pictures? Well, the Bible says as men you’re to go home and you are to love your wife, Ephesians chapter five verse 25, as Christ loved the church. You need to go home and love her that way. And it starts, it starts with you praying for her. It’d be awesome if some of you’d walk through the door and the first thing before you say anything you say, “Babe, come here a second. The Lord’s spoken to me this weekend. We’re gonna pray together that all the stuff he’s put in my heart, the, the Lord will guide me through it.” ‘Cause you gotta know like, like as soon as you hit these exits, as soon as you hit, see these exits, Satan’s sitting out there in the parking lot going, “Come on out, boy. (fire extinguisher sound) Come on out. I’ve been waiting for you to dismiss so I can dis-” And he’s waiting for you. And you gotta go, “No, Satan. I claim through the blood of Jesus Christ that I can go home and love my wife, love my kids like Christ loved the church.” That’s what you gotta do.

Audience: (Applause and cheering)

Dan: And then, and then I’m gonna challenge you guys to do something. And I wanna tell you, like, listen. I gotta tell you why it matters. It gonna take me a second. I gotta tell you a story to set up why it matters. When my boys were six and three, when they were six and three, um, I started doing something with them. We didn’t have very much money at all, but I, I’m a, I’m a big NBA fan, man. I love, I love it. And I wanted to buy basketball cards, little packs of them when I was like, you know, young married, etc. But we didn’t have a lot of money. And, you know, we had kids two boys, six and three and, and, you know, Jane didn’t like me spend that money. So I couldn’t buy them from me. So I started buying them for the kids. You can justify it, you know? I, like, “Jane, I had to get these for the boys, you know?” And then I took them away from them, you know?

Audience: (laughs)

Dan: And then, and then we, we, uh, we started doing this. And when they were little, I’d tuck them in bed, I’d pray over them and then I would say, um, “Did, did you guys look under your pillows?” And they’re like, “What do you mean, Dad?” I said, “Look under your pillows.” And that, that first night they reached back, and they pulled out from under their pillows, little pack of NBA cards. And man, we would run over, we went on Allen’s bed, and we opened those cards up and it was, it was a festival. I, it was like, “Did you get a Michael Jordan?” It was a big thing, getting a Jordan, you know? So we opened those cards up, pull them out. We looked through them and if you got a Jordan, it was like, couldn’t even sleep, so excited. So we did this for a long time. And for years, those boys are six and three and I did it for years and years and years. And I did that on bed when they had tough days, I’d put them a little pack of cards. I’d play all kind of games with them. But to make the story short, I, the other week, uh, had a really, really tough couple of weeks. Uh, that deal I was telling you, I stayed up to 1:30 wasn’t going so good. And, and I, I had one of those days. I don’t know if you’ve ever had this. I actually went to bed early, like about 8:00, 8:30. I went to bed early so nothing else bad could happen that day. You ever had one of those days?

Audience: Yeah.

Dan: I said to Jane, “I’m going to bed. If the phone rings don’t tell me.” So I went to bed, I’m laying in bed. I’m trying to go to sleep. I’m, I’m restless. You’ve been there. And I’m laying in bed and, and, um, my sons came in that night to, to tuck us in. We have reached an age in our life where our kids tuck us in. I ask for cookies; I tell them I gotta pee. I do all kind of stuff.

Audience: (laughs)

Dan: And that’s sad, but that is true. But I, I finished, you know, Alan came in, I should say and he, he went over to his mom. He’s 21. He prayed for his mom and gave her a good night kiss. Then he came around to my side of the bed and I was at, at in/out stage, you know? And I was there just kind of, “Hey, Allen.” He goes, “Hey, Dad.” And he, he gave me a kiss on my head, and he goes, “Dad, I love you. I know you’ve been having a hard time.” And said, “I pray for you. You’re a good dad.” “Thanks son. Good night.” “Good night. And he started to walk away. And he was leaving the room. He looked back and he said, “Hey, Dad. Did you check under your pillow?”

Audience: (laughs)

Dan: No lie. And I went, don’t mess with me, man. Don’t, don’t mess with me. He goes, “No, seriously.” And I reached my hand back behind my pillow and I, I honestly started crying. And I pulled that little NBA pack out from behind my head. And he had written a note on it and said, “Hey dad, I know you’ve been having a tough couple week. I wanted you to know that you’re an awesome dad and I love you. P.S. Don’t ever forget to check under your pillow.” It’s what the little note said. I started crying like that. I mean, it was awesome. And I said, “Well, come on. Sit on the bed with me. Let’s open them up. So he came and he sat on the bed with me. When we opened it up, didn’t get [inaudible] And, and, uh, we sat there.

Audience: (laughs)

Dan: But you know what, it didn’t, it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter. Now, here’s why I told you that little story. Listen to me very carefully. Four weeks ago, that 21-year-old boy stepped on a bus and moved to South Africa. I won’t see him for one year. He is going to work with AIDS orphans. And he got on that bus and, and I started crying. A big bus came through, several people going, drive them to the airport. And I’m, I’m standing here crying like a baby. I, I had, by the way, snuck a pack of NBA cards in his suitcase.

Audience: (laughs)

Dan: He didn’t get anything.

Audience: (laughs)

Dan: And, um, so, so he’s standing on the bottom ledge of the bottom step to get on that big bus to go. And I’m, I’m out here standing by the car and I’m waving and I’m crying. I’m crying hard. My wife, Jane, the one you just met. She walked up, she put her arm through my arm. She’s crying like crazy. And then she said this to me, “Honey, we’ve tried to stay married and give him a good example. We’ve loved him all these years and we’ve worked for 21 years to give him to God. Let’s let him go.” And we cried together.

Audience: (Applause)

Dan: And I said, I said to my wife, I said, “Baby, we’ve given him a lot of things. I’ve given him cards. We’ve given him this. We’ve support him to go to Africa. But I think probably one of the greatest gifts we ever gave him,” you ready, “that flame’s still burning.”

Audience: (Applause)

Dan: And today, I’m not stupid, I know some of you are single parents and you’d love for your flame to still be burning. I want you to understand that your witness as a parent, even through a divorce, is huge. Single parents are some of the greatest examples of Christ I’ve ever seen. And I wanna tell you today, and my challenge for you as the Lord would help you, listen to me, the Lord would help you, go home and be men who keep the candle burning. Listen, stay married for life.

John: Well, we’re gonna have to end right there with a great message from Dan Seaborn and his wife, Jane. And our thanks to our friends at Promise Keepers for letting us share this message with you today.

Jim: Yeah, we’re running out of time, so let’s wrap up with some follow up resources for your marriage. I’d encourage you to get a CD of this presentation from Dan Seaborn. It’ll have some extra content that we weren’t able to include on the broadcast side. We’ll send it out to you for a donation of any amount as you join us in our mission to help marriages thrive. If you can visit us online, you’ll find a free marriage assessment that you can take. It’s about a 10-minute survey that will help you, uh, see the strengths and weaknesses in your relationship and then will lead you to resources that will help you improve those weaker areas. It’s a great learning tool designed by our own Dr. Greg Smalley. So look for the marriage assessment when you visit the Focus on The Family website. And then finally, if your marriage is in serious trouble, I’d encourage you to consider attending a Hope Restored four day intensive. Our talented counselors will help you get to the root of your issues and learn a better way to communicate as a couple. It’s an incredibly effective program with an over 80% success rate when we survey those couples two years later. Remember, Focus on The Family is here to help you. So please reach out to us.

John: And we’re just a phone call away. Uh, our number is 800-AFAMILY. 800-232-6459, or we can donate online and request your CD and, uh, take that marriage assessment and learn more about Hope Restored. It’s all at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast. And next time you’ll hear the remarkable reunion of a birth mom and her son 48 years later.

Preview:

Nina Hendee: And when I thought of the baby, I had such peaks because of choosing life. And then God said, “And here he is.”

End of Preview

John: On behalf of Jim Daly and the entire team, thanks for listening today to Focus on The Family. I’m John Fuller inviting you back as we, once again, help you and your family thrive in Christ.

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Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Randy Schroeder

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Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff Cropped

Dr. Tim and Mrs. Noreen Muehlhoff

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Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 2

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

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Revival Rising

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Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

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Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

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Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

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Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

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Headshot of Kevin Thompson

Pastor Kevin Thompson

Kevin A. Thompson (MDiv, Beeson Divinity School) is lead pastor at Community Bible Church, a growing multi-site church with four locations in western Arkansas. Every year he meets with nearly one hundred couples with a range of needs, from pre-marital counseling to navigating the most serious betrayals. A marriage and parenting conference speaker, he and his wife, Jenny, have two children and live in Fort Smith, Arkansas. He blogs at kevinathompson.com.

Cover image of Kevin Thompson's book "Friends, Partners & Lovers"

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

With engaging stories and clear, simple language, pastor Kevin Thompson shows how to live out three distinct roles in marraige. Using solid biblical principles, he helps you and your spouse grow your friendship, be supportive partners through the good times and the bad, and develop a healthy and satisfying sex life.

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Mr. Greg Koukl

Greg Koukl is a writer, public speaker and talk show host who’s spent 30 years advocating for and defending the Christian worldview. Greg has written or contributed to 15 books, including The Story of RealityTactics, and Precious Unborn Human Persons. Greg has published nearly 230 articles and has spoken on 80 college and university campuses in the U.S. and abroad.

Tactics front cover

Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition: A Game Plan for Discussing Your Christian Convictions

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Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

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Headshot image of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Patti Giebink

Mrs. Patti Giebink

Dr. Patti Giebink is an OB-GYN who serves on the board of the Alpha Center, a well-known pregnancy center located in Sioux Falls, S.D. She also travels intermittently to work in mission hospitals in Pakistan and other countries. After completing her medical training, Dr. Giebink worked for Planned Parenthood from 1995-1997, during which she was the only abortion-provider in the state of South Dakota. She eventually experienced a radical change of heart on the issue of abortion after receiving God’s grace, forgiveness, and love, and she is now a passionate advocate for the pro-life movement.

Cover image of the book "Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life"

Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life

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Author Wendy Speake smiling as she holds up her book "The 40-Day Social Media Fast"

Mrs. Wendy Speake

With a background in Hollywood as a trained actress, Wendy Speake ministers to women as a bible teacher by applying the power of drama, poetry and comedy to the study of Scripture and real-life application of biblical truths. She has co-authored two books with Amber Lia titled Triggers: Exchanging Parents’ Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses and their latest, Parenting Scripts: When What You’re Saying Isn’t Working, Say Something New. Wendy is also the co-author (with Kelli Stuart) of Life Creative: Inspiration for Today’s Renaissance Mom.

Cover image of the book "The 40-Day Sugar Fast"

The 40-Day Sugar Fast: Where Physical Detox Meets Spiritual Transformation

Welcome to the 40-Day Sugar Fast, a fast that begins with us giving Jesus our sugar and ends with Jesus giving us himself–the only thing that can ever truly satisfy our soul’s deep hunger. On this 40-day journey you’ll learn how to stop fixating on food and other things you use to fill the voids in life and instead fix your eyes on Christ. Anyone who runs to sugar for comfort or a reward, who eats mindlessly or out of boredom, who feels physically and spiritually lethargic, or who struggles with self-control will discover here not only freedom from their cravings but an entirely new appetite for the good things God has for us.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 1

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 2

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 2

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

Reconciling Faith and Science in a Medical Crisis

Dr. Lee Warren is a neurosurgeon who has faced many heavy challenges in his life – from serving in the Iraq War to removing deadly brain tumors to experiencing the loss of a teenage son. He’ll share about his difficult quest to find answers to some of life’s toughest questions, while holding onto his faith in God and the sure hope of heaven

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. W. Lee Warren

Dr. Lee Warren

W. Lee Warren, M.D., is a brain surgeon , inventor, Iraq War veteran, and author of I’ve Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon’s Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know, winner of the Christian Book Award®. His previous book, No Place to Hide, was included on the 2015 U.S. Air Force Chief of Staff’s Recommended Reading List. Dr. Warren has appeared on The 700 Club and the CBS Evening News, and his writings have been featured in Guideposts magazine. His Dr. Lee Warren Podcast, which is heard in more than 60 countries, helps listeners use the power of neuroscience, faith, and common sense to change their lives.

Cover image of Dr. Lee Warren's book "I've Seen the End of You"

I've Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon's Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know

This gripping inspirational memoir grapples with the tension between faith and science—and between death and hope—as a seasoned neurosurgeon faces insurmountable odds and grief both in the office and at home.

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 1

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 1

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage Part 1

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 1

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 1

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

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Newest Release - Episode 1: The Truth About Life!

In this episode, we will tackle tough questions like, “When does life begin?” and “What does the Bible
say about Life?” You’ll discover and understand the stages of pre-born life and that babies are more than
just a clump of cells!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Thank you for committing to pray for the pre-born!

Sign up below for your free seven-day prayer guide. This daily guide will help give direction to your prayers for the pro-life movement. We will be praying with you!