Day One:
Preview:
Woman #1: I get anxious when I’m going into a situation that I feel like I am not prepared for.
Woman #2: What really stresses me out are awkward silences, especially when you’re dealing with your boss or something like that. Sometimes I just don’t know what to say.
Man: Something that makes me feel stressed is when I feel like I have a lot of things to do and not enough time to get it done.
Woman #3: I get really anxious when things feel out of control or I feel like people are perceiving me wrong.
End of Preview
John Fuller: Well, there are plenty of things in this world that can cause us to be anxious, and I’m sure you could add your own anxiety-inducing circumstances to that list. On today’s Focus on the Family with Jim Daly, we’re going to help you confront your anxiety and get moving in a positive direction to find hope and healing. Thanks for joining us. I’m John Fuller.
Jim Daly: John, uh, being anxious is just part of being human, and this is something that we have different degrees of, and some people, uh, struggle far more with anxiety than others, and we want to talk about this. Even within the church, we know the scripture says, “Don’t be anxious.” It’s easy to hear that. Sometimes it’s difficult to put that into practice.
John: Mm-hmm.
Jim: And I’m excited for the next couple of days to talk to, uh, Gregg Jantz, Dr. Gregg Jantz about, um, how we go about managing anxiety, especially for those that sometimes can be crippled by it.
John: Mm-hmm.
Jim: And, uh, this will be a big help if you or a loved one is dealing with anxiety. I think it’s going to give you great tools, uh, to identify it, and then what to do to work with the Lord to, uh, get a hold of it.
John: Mm-hmm. Yeah. And Dr. Jantz is the founder of The Center • A Place of HOPE, that’s located in Edmonds, Washington, and, uh, it’s a renowned treatment center for anxiety and depression. He’s a mental health expert and a pioneer in whole-person, holistic care, and, uh, he’s got a book on this topic that is really just, uh, terrific. It’s a primer that covers so much. It’s called The Anxiety Reset: A Life-Changing Approach to Overcoming Fear, Stress, Worry, Panic Attacks, OCD and More. And you can learn, uh, more about our guest and this terrific resource when you stop by our website, and that’s focusonthefamily.com/broadcast.
Jim: Dr. Gregory Jantz, good to have you back.
Dr. Gregory Jantz: Oh, it is always good to be with you and-
Jim: And you brighten a room. I so appreciate your-
Dr. Jantz: Well, I, uh-
Jim: … effervescence.
Dr. Jantz: I’m telling you, I wanna say, just to begin with, there’s hope for anxiety-
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: … and this is affecting large numbers of folks.
Jim: Well, let’s hit that. It’s one in five adults and one in four teenagers are suffering from anxiety.
Dr. Jantz: And likely higher. We live in a-
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: … culture of great fear. Uh, every day we wake up and there’s something else to be afraid of. Lots of fear.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: Lots of anxiety.
Jim: What’s happening in the culture that’s creating that kind of increase in anxiety?
Dr. Jantz: Well, Jim, we have a lot of unknowns. People wake up, they don’t know, they don’t know what to believe, they don’t know what’s true, what’s not, and, uh, so we’re seeing that since post-pandemic, uh, anxiety has become the number one diagnosis in our country.
Jim: Yeah.
John: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Jantz: So let’s, uh, let’s just say that again. It’s the number one diagnosis.
Jim: For mental health issues.
Dr. Jantz: Well, uh, you-
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: … go to your physician, you go to your doctor, and they ask you questions that they’re required to ask now. A lot of those are related to depression and anxiety-
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Jantz: … because it is such a problem.
Jim: Wow, that’s amazing, but it’s true. Let’s, uh … Uh, for those that may not (laughs) experience it.
Dr. Jantz: Yes.
Jim: Let’s describe it so people can get a handle on it. What does anxiety look like, and how is it different from depression?
Dr. Jantz: Sure. Well, or worry. You know-
Jim: Or worry.
Dr. Jantz: Um, worry … Think of worry as it’s our thoughts. It’s the cognitions. Worry is a mental process. I may have worried this morning, “Did I wear the right clothes? Did I say the right thing?” We worry, and wi- it’s something we do to ourselves.
Jim: Right.
Dr. Jantz: Okay? But anxiety takes on a life of its own. Anxiety has a physical side to it. You feel it in your gut usually, and then it, it’s like, “Where do you feel all that fear?” And you … It’s m- my whole body eventually. So we know that fear gets a stronghold in our life. So anxiety always has a physical component. Could be a headache, could be sleep disturbances, anxiety, could be, um, you feel it in your gut, your appetite seems off, uh, you wake up during the night and you’re like, feel like you’re wide awake, but you’ve just woken up, well, it feels like a panic attack, that’s anxiety.
Jim: Okay.
Dr. Jantz: You wake up in the morning. And there’s something kind of free-floating that seems to follow you (laughs) around, and you can’t seem to shake it off. Uh, that’s anxiety.
Jim: What’s that line where that tips into depression, just to identify it? We’re not-
Dr. Jantz: Sure.
Jim: … going to talk about depression-
Dr. Jantz: So anxiety and depression can live together. Um, depression is going to be different in that it is an o- oppression that is upon you, that you lose, you have apathy, you lose all motivation. You’ll have some similar symptoms. Uh, and just like depression, anxiety comes in different degrees.
Jim: Okay.
Dr. Jantz: There’s mild anxiety to quite severe anxiety.
Jim: Now, you and your wife, LaFon … LaFon’s here in the studio.
Dr. Jantz: Yes.
Jim: Hey, LaFon, good to see you. She’s out in the gallery. Um, you did experience, uh, some turbulence in your life with a cancer diagnosis, and it really, uh, gave you some insight into that anxiety issue. What happened?
Dr. Jantz: And I’d … I’ll just add, all of us will have some anxiety at some time and maybe multiple times in our life. If you’ve been given a medical diagnosis, uh, that can create some anxiety. You have a loved one, in my case, LaFon, a cancer diagnosis. And so the first thing that happens is all the unknowns. Wu- what’s going to happen? And we go to an immediate fear response. So in our situation, uh, my anxiety was very real. Um, I didn’t know, “Where is this going to go?” We have two young boys. Uh, ultimately, you know, mom doesn’t look so good. She’s going through treatments, and you have your kids asking you, “Is mom okay? Is mom going to live?” And so those kinds of things-
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Jantz: … add to the anxiety.
Jim: And you both walked through that together, and, uh … But it was sleepless nights and other things-
Dr. Jantz: Oh, abs-
Jim: … that you describe in the book. I mean it’s-
Dr. Jantz: Oh, absolutely.
Jim: … it’s like a shockwave-
Dr. Jantz: Uh, uh.
Jim: … to the norm.
Dr. Jantz: I want you to know I’ve walked through anxiety. And of course, we run a facility where we’re working with people that come with anxiety. I-
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: … see the reality of it. I know how paralyzing it can be. Uh, and I know that people can try to go, “I’ve tried so many different things, and I still have this anxiety. Has God forgotten me?”
Jim: Hmm. Okay.
Dr. Jantz: So those are very real questions.
Jim: And people are going to wonder, uh, “How’s LaFon?” So tie a bow-
Dr. Jantz: Oh.
Jim: … on that story.
Dr. Jantz: So, yes-
Jim: We don’t wanna end with-
Dr. Jantz: … how’s LaFon? Well, she’s here today. She’s with us today, uh, and, and she’s well. And she’s an example of what it’s like for all of us, as a family, to walk through unknowns, to walk through anxiety, to have those sleepless nights, to have all those questions that come up. Um, “What’s gonna happen to my loved one?” So …
Jim: You say in The Anxiety Reset, your book, that some anxiety can be good.
Dr. Jantz: Sure.
Jim: Now, people with anxiety are going, “Are you crazy?”
John: Mm-hmm.
Jim: What do you mean by good anxiety?
Dr. Jantz: Well, there could be a motivating anxiety.
Jim: Hmm.
Dr. Jantz: I need to take care of something. Anxiety could be a signal that, “Oh, um, I need to address some things in my life. I’m not sleeping well, my appetite’s off, I don’t want to be with people, I want to isolate.” Well, that’s all a sign. “What is it I need to address?” So anxiety can be communicating to you and need to address something. Now, I don’t want it to get so intense that you can’t think straight, ’cause, you know, anxiety takes all that blood flow from our brain, the way God designed us, and it goes, the blood goes in the back of that primitive part of the brain. And, you know what? We have something … And I’m pointing here in my forehead, because we have our executive function. This is where we’re supposed to make good decisions, but if you’re filled with anxiety, you can’t think. And so this is why we’ve got to look at this and go, “Okay, this affects the whole person.”
Jim: Yeah. You know, there’s, uh, uh … And maybe, again, clinically, you can help me, but, uh, there seems to be degrees of anxiety.
Dr. Jantz: Yes.
Jim: Some people can be so riddled with anxiety, that they’re actually frozen. They can’t make decisions like you just said.
Dr. Jantz: Right.
Jim: They can’t take that initial step. And I think sometimes we, as believers particularly, that don’t experience that in the same way, uh, are trying to say the right thing, but we’re probably adding a lot of weight-
Dr. Jantz: (laughs) Wow.
Jim: … to them. So just describe-
Dr. Jantz: Yeah.
Jim: … that, um, awareness that we need to have to say, “Come on, you can do it. It’s just this,” and what that sounds like to somebody with deep anxiety.
John: Hmm.
Dr. Jantz: And somebody with deep anxiety, I believe they would have, uh, done whatever they need because nobody wants to live in anxiety. So the word, grace comes to mind, and we want to believe in that person that has anxiety. Okay. Look at this from the whole person. There’s going to be solutions. There are missing pieces to the puzzle. We’re gonna pray for great wisdom, um, but there are missing pieces to the puzzle. So they need us to come alongside them versus judge them real heavily.
Jim: Right.
Dr. Jantz: Uh, um, and, uh, you know, i- it’s hard to live with somebody with anxiety, or even depression. It’s hard to know what to say, ’cause you really do love them. You really do wanna help. And if you have a teenager that’s got anxiety, uh, and- and you’re seeing this in your kids, that can be very challenging.
Jim: Right. And again, some things that you might say actually add weight to it rather than relieve it.
Dr. Jantz: Right.
Jim: Like, “Come on, you can do this”-
Dr. Jantz: It’s-
Jim: … and going-
Dr. Jantz: And it’s all out of good-
Jim: … “Dad, I- I can’t.”
Dr. Jantz: It’s all out of good intention.
Jim: Yeah. Gregg, let me insert this because we have many listeners, and they have different, um, theologies. You know-
Dr. Jantz: Sure.
Jim: … we all believe in Jesus, but then we have a lot of tributary rivers-
Dr. Jantz: Right, right.
Jim: … from (laughs) that point.
John: Uh.
Jim: But for the people that may struggle with the idea that, uh, some, uh, medicine can help somebody-
Dr. Jantz: Yes.
Jim: … with anxiety. Well, you know if the Lord is really in you, and you love Him, and He loves you, I don’t see why you would need medication. I’m not proposing that. I’m just saying-
Dr. Jantz: Right.
Jim: … some people may have that attitude. Just, uh, set the record straight about how physiology, pharmaceutical, and the Lord all can work together (laughs) to help somebody.
Dr. Jantz: Oh, and it all needs to work together.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: And that’s why we’re not gonna look for the magic pill, we’re gonna look at the whole person. “Do I need something to help me carry me over that bridge for a short period of time? Do I need that? Uh, and is that coming in the form of a medication?” Sometimes I need to change my diet. When you’re anxious, you love a lot of sweet food.
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Jantz: Uh, when you’re anxious, uh, you- you may be doing the 10 cups of coffee a day, and that may not be helpful. (laughs)
Jim: Is this under the lifestyle, uh, rubric that you talk about?
Dr. Jantz: Right.
Jim: Is lifestyle part of that?
Dr. Jantz: Well-
Jim: Too much coffee, too much … What, what are the lifestyle-
Dr. Jantz: Sure.
Jim: … contributors to anxiety?
Dr. Jantz: Well, if you’re living a life that’s been chronic stress, okay, you’ve had a lot of worry, uh, there’s been a lot of stress, you will develop, at some point, some anxiety, ’cause your body is gonna cry out. Your body is gonna say, “I’ve had enough.” Um, just like-
Jim: What, what are those signs, though? Because again, uh, you know, for the layperson who hasn’t-
Dr. Jantz: Yeah.
Jim: … uh, earned their PhD, um, uh, what does that look like? Wu- Uh, just so I-
Dr. Jantz: Sure.
Jim: … can be self-aware. Maybe I’m thinking I might have anxiety, but I don’t know.
John: Hmm.
Jim: And that makes me anxious. (laughs).
Dr. Jantz: (laughs) That makes me anxious.
Jim: But what, uh-
Dr. Jantz: Yeah.
Jim: You know, what are those-
Dr. Jantz: And-
Jim: … things we should be looking for?
Dr. Jantz: And we do wanna be … I’m so glad you mentioned that, because we wanna be careful. We’re not just putting a label on us.
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Jantz: You know, “Oh, I have anxiety disorder. That’s why I’m this way.” No, I don’t want you to do that. Um, you may be struggling with anxiety. Let’s come up with a plan that’s going to help you with that and get you through that. Okay. Some of the signs that I may be really struggling, well, you’re gonna probably eventually see it in your sleep. Um, sleep’s not going to feel restful, uh, you-
Jim: I thought that was age.
Dr. Jantz: (laughs).
Jim: (laughs) Okay.
Dr. Jantz: Yeah.
Jim: I got, “Okay”-
Dr. Jantz: Okay.
Jim: “… tick that box.” Well-
John: (laughs).
Jim: (laughs)
Dr. Jantz: As you get older, you may, um, take, uh, uh-
Jim: (laughs)
Dr. Jantz: … uh, or sleep a little bit less.
Jim: It seems like-
Dr. Jantz: Yeah.
Jim: … that’s my pattern, but-
Dr. Jantz: Yeah. And so- (laughs).
Jim: … I don’t know about you guys.
Dr. Jantz: But, but we’re talking about a disruptive sleep.
Jim: Okay.
Dr. Jantz: We’re talking about a sleep that doesn’t feel restful when you wake up, and you wake up with that sense of-
Jim: Burden.
Dr. Jantz: … something, burden.
Jim: Okay.
Dr. Jantz: Something’s in your gut, you feel something, it’s hard to label what it is. Uh, people with anxiety may have headaches, they may have aches and pains, they have a hard time focusing. Things that were easy for you before, now with anxiety, it’s like, “I can’t even concentrate.” You go, “I’m trying to read the Bible, but I’m reading that same verse or chapter over and over”-
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Jantz: “… and I can’t even remember what I just read.” So that’s anxiety.
Jim: Family conflicts, uh, doing the normal routines of life, paying the bills. Are those things that, uh, that if they give us too much anxiousness, is that a, a sign that maybe we have some anxiety?
Dr. Jantz: Well, if I have an exaggerated response, I become hypervigilant.
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Jantz: Um, things that normally … I could just handle those. Now like, I feel like I can’t handle anything. So you’re gonna have a lot of self-doubt. Okay. I’ve got self-doubt. And here’s, here’s something I really wanna speak to. You may end up feeling unlovable.
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Jantz: It’s like, “I just don’t feel people really love me, I don’t feel appreciated, I don’t feel God loves me.” So you can have that sense of just feeling … Anxiety lies to you. Anxiety tells you things about yourself that is not true. That’s why we say fear can get a stronghold, a spiritual stronghold in a person’s life. It will lie to you.
Jim: Hmm, that’s powerful.
John: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Jantz: Mm-hmm. So keep that-
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: … in mind.
Jim: Yeah.
John: This is Focus on the Family with Jim Daly, and our guest today is Dr. Gregory Jantz, and we’re exploring some of the concepts in his book, The Anxiety Reset. It is a terrific resource full of great, uh, chapters, that cover so much related to this topic. Get a copy from us here at Focus on the Family. We’ve got a link at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast, or call 800, the letter A, and the word, FAMILY.
Jim: Gregg, we’ve had Dr. Chang here, and he wrote a book called The, uh, um, Anxiety Opportunity.
Dr. Jantz: Yes.
Jim: And his thesis-
Dr. Jantz: I like that.
Jim: … was, um, you know, Western medicine. We tend to want to take a pill and get rid of it-
Dr. Jantz: Right.
Jim: … or find ways to get rid of it. And his realization is you are going to be able to moderate it to minimize it. But ye- uh, people with anxiety, the expectation there needs to be how to manage it. Is that-
Dr. Jantz: And I believe we can go from managing to, “Okay, Lord God, give me the wisdom to know what needs to be addressed in my life.” If I’ve had significant trauma or emotional abuse, and I have things in my life that really are unresolved, um, that could be following me and creating anxiety.
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Jantz: And so I want to look at, uh, “What’s the root causes of this?” We mentioned lifestyle can be one.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: Uh-
Jim: That was my next question-
Dr. Jantz: Yes.
Jim: I’m going to, so in that context. Again, I just want to provide people with a perspective on, “What does it mean to live with anxiety?” And I like that idea of minimizing it, but if your expectation is eliminating it, that may be, um, a really difficult task for people with anxiety.
Dr. Jantz: Well, um, you’ll find that you have, with God’s help, power over that anxiety.
Jim: Correct. Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: Yes.
Jim: That’s fair. That’s a good point. Let’s move to those, uh, root problems-
Dr. Jantz: Okay.
Jim: … when you are taking a look at it.
Dr. Jantz: Sure.
Jim: And just so folks know, we’re gonna spend a couple of days with Dr. Jantz-
Dr. Jantz: Okay.
Jim: … so we’re not gonna get all tucked in today-
Dr. Jantz: All righty.
Jim: … because there’s more to talk about. But for day one here, what are some of those root causes of anxiety?
Dr. Jantz: Well, I mentioned trauma, early childhood trauma. Uh, and this is difficult to talk about, uh, but there could have been significant abuse, there could be betrayal. Um, there could have been … Maybe it was, uh, your family moved a lot and you never really anchored in and had close friends, and so there was a lot of uncertainty in your life.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: So trauma comes in different forms.
Jim: You know what’s interesting with that? And I don’t know, John, if you’ve had this experience, but, um, so often, uh, if you don’t, uh, struggle with anxiety and you have a family member-
Dr. Jantz: Right.
Jim: … a friend who does, and you hear those situations, some are obvious, like someone who was abused-
Dr. Jantz: Yes, yes.
Jim: … physically, sexually, whatever. Your heart goes out, and you’re instantly connected to that-
Dr. Jantz: Mm-hmm.
Jim: … and there’s got to be a lot of healing-
Dr. Jantz: Right.
Jim: … for that person. But somebody that moved around a lot, you’re starting going, “Well, okay, that seems pretty light”-
Dr. Jantz: So-
Jim: But we have to be equally as intense-
Dr. Jantz: Well, we do.
Jim: … about that experience that they had because we don’t … We’re not living it with them.
Dr. Jantz: And maybe they feel like they never had a friend, um-
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Jantz: … or relationships never lasted.
Jim: So we don’t know all the connecting factors to-
Dr. Jantz: Right.
Jim: … that description, is my point-
Dr. Jantz: Mm-hmm.
Jim: … and for us to be sensitive about that.
Dr. Jantz: Correct.
Jim: You had, uh, a story in the book about Diane. I’m sure that’s not-
Dr. Jantz: Yes.
Jim: … her real name, but it was a patient of yours and she’s given you permission, obviously-
Dr. Jantz: Yes.
Jim: … to use this. But what was Diane’s story with trauma?
Dr. Jantz: Yes. Diane was a executive at a very large software company, and she worked in the legal department.
Jim: There’s a little bit of stress.
Dr. Jantz: Uh, that … Right there, right?
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: And, um, she also had two kids, and her husband also had a career where he was traveling a lot. And what happened was, you know, it’s just managing the schedule. How do you manage the kids and the schedule? And the “executive stress” got to be too much.
Jim: I think her mom is also suffering with dementia.
Dr. Jantz: Her mom had Alzheimer’s.
Jim: It’s like everything was folding-
Dr. Jantz: Yes.
Jim: … in on her, right, around her.
Dr. Jantz: Right. And it was probably her, uh, felt that she had to carry it all.
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Jantz: So, and she was, up to a certain point. But then, we get- began to break down for her, couldn’t sleep. She would describe situations where during the night, wake up 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning, and everything’s on her mind. Her mind is racing. She’s trying to solve work-related (laughs) problems in, in the legal department, and she’s got the kids, and things are not going well with the kids. She has one teenager who’s particularly acting out. So it’s pretty complex. And of course, she wakes up in the night and her husband happens to be on a trip, and it just reached a breaking point.
Jim: And what did that look like for her?
Dr. Jantz: So for her, her breaking point was she even had panic attacks.
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Jantz: So her body was crying out. You know, uh, by the way, a panic attack is a form of anxiety.
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Jantz: So it’s the person after a while, their body says, “I’ve had enough,” and the body’s gonna respond, and you’re gonna have … It feels like you’re dying, but you’re gonna have a panic attack. Um, so there’s a physical reason for that.
Jim: Huh.
Dr. Jantz: So her body, there was the physical responses to this. So you know what she wanted to do? She wanted to isolate, run away, and never (laughs) come back. (laughs).
Jim: Sounds rational.
Dr. Jantz: That’s what anxiety does.
Jim: (laughs). Mm-hmm.
Dr. Jantz: Yeah.
Jim: But, uh, uh, in the end, uh, what was her, uh, you know-
Dr. Jantz: In the end, she- she sought help, but we had to begin to create a more realistic schedule. She had to learn what it … “What’s self-care really looked like? How do I really take care of myself?”
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: And she had to get family support. She had to get others involved in her life. And, you know, ultimately, it did involve the husband-
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Jantz: … um, some marital counseling, coming up a different plan to manage our lives.
Jim: Yeah. And that’s so good, and that’s part of the process and why we want to encourage people to get a copy (laughs) of your book as a starter-
Dr. Jantz: (laughs)
Jim: … but then, to engage with-
Dr. Jantz: Yes.
Jim: … Christian, good Christian counseling that can help-
Dr. Jantz: Ab- Absolutely.
Jim: … particularly the believers to be able to live, uh, a life that’s empowered and can get ahold-
Dr. Jantz: And I-
Jim: … of anxiety.
Dr. Jantz: I can tell you, I’ve seen some really difficult situations, and, Jim, you- you can live a different life.
Jim: Well, that’s also hopeful that, uh, people can get there.
Dr. Jantz: Yes.
Jim: And that’s important.
John: Mm-hmm.
Jim: Uh, Gregg, let me ask this as well. We’ve talked a lot about the science of anxiety.
Dr. Jantz: Yes.
Jim: Um, but what are some of the ways that Jesus speaks to us in the scripture about anxiety?
Dr. Jantz: Well, we hear, and what the first thing that comes to our mind is, is the word, two words, fear not. (laughs).
Jim: Right.
Dr. Jantz: Okay. There’s a lot of scriptures around fear, okay? I use, uh, 2 Timothy 1:7 as my foundation when I’m dealing with anxiety.
Jim: And that says-
Dr. Jantz: It says, “For the Lord did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and I like this, a sound mind.”
Jim: Yeah. (laughs)
Dr. Jantz: Okay?
Jim: (laughs)
Dr. Jantz: So, uh, what we’re doing when we’re dealing with anxiety, we’re working on building that sound mind. How do we build it? With the whole person. I gotta look at my life spiritually, I gotta look at my, “Do I have a relationship in my life that’s creating (laughs) a lot of anxiety?” You know, look, I need to look at everything. “Do I have some really poor lifestyle issues that’s creating anxiety? Do I have a secret addiction? Am I so anxious that I’m drinking alcohol every night”-
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Jantz: “… in order to deal with anxiety, then I’m creating more anxiety?” So this requires a whole person assessment.
Jim: Mm-hmm. That’s good. Uh, let me ask you this, anxiety will affect nearly, you know, every part, as you’re saying, of a person’s life.
Dr. Jantz: Yes.
Jim: Um, what are some of those common areas where anxiety diminishes our well-being? I mean, you’ve mentioned that like with alcohol, but again, it’s kind of an assessment.
Dr. Jantz: Sure. Well, it will … You’ll want to escape from people, so you’ll also probably want to do escapism behaviors. You get home at night and you go, “I deserve that ice cream.” And you sit down and have that half gallon of ice cream. (laughs).
Jim: Is that, is that a problem with that or-
Dr. Jantz: (laughs)
John: Uh, only-
Jim: I never realized that was a problem.
John: … if it’s every night. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Jim: (laughs)
Dr. Jantz: (laughs) Uh, so you get into patterns where we look for comfort.
John: Mm-hmm.
Jim: Isolation?
Dr. Jantz: So-
John: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: Yeah. And I can also choose digital-
Jim: Right.
Dr. Jantz: … social media over real people.
Jim: So it’s a coping skill?
Dr. Jantz: So I’m looking for comfort.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: Uh, but, s- most of the things we choose create more discomfort, and in the end, create more anxiety.
Jim: Yeah.
John: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Jantz: Uh, but we- we’re looking for that relief.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: Yeah.
Jim: Well, and that’s another good sign if you’re, uh, snagged by anxiety and you’re isolating yourself, you’re gaming, I mean, in abundance.
Dr. Jantz: I just need to look at, “What am I doing?,” and have an honest conversation with yourself. “What am I doing that could be contributing to more anxiety?”
Jim: Yeah, that’s so good. Let’s wrap up here. We’ll pick up next time-
Dr. Jantz: Sure.
Jim: … like we talked about, but, um, some of those practical steps again. Some people are just coming in the last half of this program. What are some of those practical steps to, uh, heal a person that is, uh, suffering with anxiety? Practical steps.
Dr. Jantz: Well, one of the practical steps that we can do is … And I love three by five cards. Can I show you something?
Jim: Yes, yes.
Dr. Jantz: Okay, we-
Jim: You got them in your pocket? (laughs).
Dr. Jantz: I got them in my pocket.
Jim: It’s always good.
Dr. Jantz: Okay.
Jim: Evidence.
Dr. Jantz: No, no, because, um … A three by five card. Okay. Uh, here’s a blank one. So, um, is I need you to write down, “What are all, all the issues that’s creating anxiety for me?” Just write it down. But I said a three by five card because I don’t want you to write a legal pad full.
Jim: Right.
Dr. Jantz: Okay. Just the top. Maybe it’s top eight or 10 things that are creating anxiety. Write them down. Okay. Of those, um, some of those, I can interest, but some of those, I need other people to help me with.
Jim: Hmm.
Dr. Jantz: Okay. Is it work-related? Um, and then, look at the predominant emotions. “Am I carrying around a lot of anger”-
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Jantz: “… frustration?” Um, is that a big issue, ’cause I’m probably gonna have some anxiety.
Jim: Right.
Dr. Jantz: So, um, but I want you to be honest. This is creating awareness.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: Next is action.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: So, and the action may come, uh, “O- okay. Um, I’m not making good decisions. I need to get some help.” And being honest. “I need”-
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: “… to get some help with this.”
Jim: What, uh … I was gonna say, and not to cut you off, but I’m thinking of the person who might call here at Focus on the Family.
Dr. Jantz: Yes.
Jim: And we wanna encourage people to call. We’ve got free counseling that you can take-
Dr. Jantz: Oh, yes.
Jim: … advantage of.
Dr. Jantz: And do take advantage of it.
Jim: Yeah, it’s an awesome opportunity.
John: Mm-hmm.
Jim: Then, we can refer you to a pre-qualified-
Dr. Jantz: Yeah.
Jim: … counselor in your area. We have, I think about 1,500 counselors on our referral list. So it’s a good-
Dr. Jantz: Yes.
Jim: … uh, mechanism to get help. So don’t hold back.
Dr. Jantz: Mm-hmm.
Jim: Get a hold of us, and John will give those details in a moment. But I’m thinking of that person when you mention the word, anger. I’ve heard this-
Dr. Jantz: Yeah.
Jim: … more than a dozen times from people. You know, I really do struggle with anger, but, you know, it’s kinda how God made me. It’s just, I don’t have a dose of patience.
Dr. Jantz: Sure.
Jim: You can’t stay there. (laughs)
Dr. Jantz: You can’t stay there because that goes to unforgiveness and that goes to resentment and bitterness.
John: Mm-hmm.
Jim: Yeah, that’s like a person who’s unwilling to work toward the fruit of the Spirit. You know, that’s how God made me. I don’t really have a lot of patience.
Dr. Jantz: Right.
Jim: It’s not, uh, a restaurant menu. I mean, these are things that you need to be growing in-
Dr. Jantz: Well, and here’s what we know.
Jim: … as believer.
Dr. Jantz: That anger … Maybe another word for anger could be hurt. It’s gonna make you really toxic.
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Jantz: You’re gonna feel emotionally toxic, and you’re gonna be toxic to all the people around you. So one of the areas we always look at with anxiety is, “Are there any areas of unforgiveness in your life?”
Jim: Oh, that’s another good idea.
Dr. Jantz: That’s a big one.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: Okay. Do I-
Jim: You write that down on a three by five?
Dr. Jantz: Um, yes. Do I need to look at, um, bitterness and resentment in my life?
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: That’s gonna create anxiety.
Jim: Yeah. Wow, this is so good. Dr. Gregory Jantz, this is the start. This is day one, but we’re gonna come back and have another day with you to talk about your great book, The Anxiety Reset, and I’m looking forward to it. Thanks so much-
Dr. Jantz: Yes.
Jim: … for being here today.
Dr. Jantz: So good to be with you.
Jim: Folks, if, uh, this is striking a chord with you, and you’re going, “Man, I need this. I know somebody that needs this, my family member needs this,” get ahold of us. If you can make a gift of any amount, we’ll send you the book as our way of saying thank you for being part of the ministry. You can do that monthly. That’s how Jean and I support Focus. You and Dena do it that way, John?
John: We do.
Jim: And, uh, you know, it’s just a fun way to get some help or provide help for a friend or family member, and then also, be part of the ministry. You know, only about 1% of the listeners actually support the ministry.
Dr. Jantz: Mm-hmm.
Jim: So 1% are making it possible to do this broadcast. We’d love-
Dr. Jantz: Wow.
Jim: … to move that to 2%. So if you can, just make a gift of any amount, and we’ll send you, uh, Gregg’s great book, The Anxiety Reset.
John: Yeah. Donate generously as you can, either a monthly pledge or a one-time gift when you stop by focusonthefamily.com/broadcast, or call 800, the letter A, and the word, FAMILY. And we mentioned our counseling services. Our, uh, donor community makes it possible for us to offer you a free phone consultation with one of those caring Christian counselors. Call today, 800, the letter A, and the word, FAMILY. And on behalf of the entire team, thanks for joining us today for Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. I’m John Fuller, inviting you back as we once again continue the conversation with Dr. Gregory Jantz, and help you and your family thrive in Christ.
Day Two:
Dr. Gregory Jantz: I use, uh, 2 Timothy 1:7 as my foundation when I’m dealing with anxiety.
Jim Daly: And that says-
Dr. Jantz: It says, “For the Lord did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and,” I like this, “a sound mind.”
John Fuller: That’s Dr. Gregory Jantz with insights on anxiety, which impacts so many of us today, young and old. He’s back to offer hope and healing on today’s episode of Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. I’m John Fuller.
Jim: John, we had a great discussion last time. If folks missed it, you, you can get it through the app for your phone and you can look at all the episodes of Focus on the Family. Download it at the website or you can look at it on YouTube.
John: Catch it again. Yeah.
Jim: So it’s available in all those places, but I thought it was exceptionally helpful for those that have anxiety and for those who don’t, but have loved ones who do suffer from anxiety. And it was so helpful to give people handles on how to begin to identify it and address those issues in their life. We talked about kind of the holistic approach where you have to exercise, get plenty of water, and, and begin to work on those things that are causing you anxiety. And we’re going to continue that discussion today with Dr. Gregory Jantz.
John: Yeah. And Dr. Jantz is the founder of The Center • A Place of HOPE which is located in Edmonds, Washington. It’s a treatment center for anxiety and depression. Uh, he’s a mental health expert. He’s written a number of books, including one that really covers this topic so well. The Anxiety Reset: A Life-Changing Approach to Overcoming Fear, Stress, Worry, Panic Attacks, OCD and More. And you can learn, uh, more about our guests in this book at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast.
Jim: Dr. Jantz, welcome back to Focus.
Dr. Jantz: Yes. Today, more anxiety.
John: Yeah (laughs) no kidding.
Jim: You know, I, I think what I wanted to kick off with on day two here is more of the spiritual context.
Dr. Jantz: Yes.
Jim: Of what we’re talking about. You know, this really gives great emphasis to the burden the Lord has carried for us, you know?
Dr. Jantz: Mm-hmm.
Jim: When we think of how we were meant to be.
Dr. Jantz: Right.
Jim: Perfect. And then how sin entered the world and how that expresses itself in so many different ways. We are not the perfect people we were created to be. That’s the whole point of Jesus’ redemption and us being able to confess our sin.
Dr. Jantz: Right.
Jim: And have forgiveness in Christ, become Christian, et cetera. But it’s kind of an interesting place to start-
Dr. Jantz: Right.
Jim: When we talk about things in the mental health space that hold us back and we seem to treat that differently than other things.
Dr. Jantz: Sure.
Jim: I mean, disease, we weren’t meant to have disease, Right? In the perfect garden.
Dr. Jantz: Right.
Jim: So when we look at it, we in some ways spiritually, we need to understand that God is forgiven all and He takes the burden us. And this is just part of this broken life.
Dr. Jantz: It is part of the broken life. And sometimes we inadvertently are adding to anxiety, probably unintentionally.
Jim: How do we do that?
Dr. Jantz: Maybe by faulty beliefs. If I was only a good enough Christian, God would or I wouldn’t suffer from this. And we, we start to (laughs) rewrite our theology a little bit.
Jim: Wow. That’s interesting. Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: So, so what we believe is really important.
Jim: So when we say Jesus is sufficient, God is sufficient. We need to believe it?
Dr. Jantz: We need to believe it, and we need to have a system in our life where we’re renewing our mind.
Jim: Hmm.
Dr. Jantz: Okay. So if I’m six hours a day into social media, that’s probably not renewing my mind.
Jim: Wow. Okay. Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: Right?
Jim: Right.
Dr. Jantz: Um, so have a system for renewing your mind, which simply means putting God’s truth in.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: You got to keep putting God’s truth in. Is that the instant cure for anxiety? No, but it’s building the foundation that will be.
Jim: Well, that’s good. Now you take that holistic approach. I mentioned it in the setup.
Dr. Jantz: Yes.
Jim: And I mentioned drinking water.
Dr. Jantz: Yeah.
Jim: And uh-I read that in the book. I thought that was amazing. But just speak to that holistic approach. What does it mean when it comes to diet, exercise?
Dr. Jantz: Absolutely.
Jim: Doing the other foundational things on top of the great foundation of scripture and knowing the Lord.
Dr. Jantz: Right. Well, we’re so used to just wanting to have the magic cure, the magic pill, you know, it’s like, “Just give it to me. I’ll take it. Everything will be fine.” And that’s really not-
Jim: That sounds like a type A person, doesn’t it?
Dr. Jantz: You know, right. And that’s really not the way it works. Give me the simple, quick answer.
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Jantz: You know, God could be taking anxiety in your life and taking us through a journey we may be, uh, needing to learn some things. Okay. When my wife had the cancer diagnosis and there was anxiety and anxiety in our family, anxiety in me. Okay, there is a journey of faith and growth. I’m not the same person today that I was then.
Jim: Hmm.
Dr. Jantz: Okay? And things that used to cause maybe some anxiety (laughs) are pretty mild now. (laughs) Right?
Jim: Yeah. Right. In comparison.
Dr. Jantz: So in comparison.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: It puts things in perspective. So as you look at anxiety in your life, look at every area of your life. Do I have a relationship? Are my relationships, do I have some toxic relationships that really are creating a lot of anxiety?
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Jantz: Do I have maybe a poor lifestyle of poor nutrition? Um, and I have worked with people who have had exceedingly poor nutrition and we start to change a few things. And as we change a few things, they start to feel better. As you start to feel better, you start to receive information better. So remember, anxiety takes my ability to concentrate, and then I can’t concentrate, I can’t focus. So, um, I could be having a counseling session with you and, and working with you, but if you’re so anxious you can’t even remember a thing I’m saying, that’s not going to help much.
Jim: Hmm.
Dr. Jantz: That’s why anxiety has to be treated in the whole person.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: That’s why we want to ask the Lord to come and guide our conversation. Show us what needs to be addressed and give us the ears to hear.
Jim: Yeah. Those are good, good thoughts. You share a story about a patient named Alan who experienced childhood trauma, uh, because of a swimming pool incident.
Dr. Jantz: Oh, yes.
Jim: When he was a child. I kind of, you know, my heart went out to this story, but explain it for the listeners and viewers.
Dr. Jantz: Okay, absolutely. I think Alan was in the sixth grade. Um, he was kind of afraid of water. They went on a… It was a school event actually. And of course kids were teasing him and he ended up in the deep end and he… He had a lot of anxiety. Okay. Wasn’t confident in any ability to swim. So he actually was pulled out of the pool by the lifeguards. They actually gave him CPR.
Jim: Yeah, he got in trouble. Right?
Dr. Jantz: He got in trouble.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: And, um, he’s in sixth grade.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: So that created… Can you imagine the fear that created for him?
Jim: Hmm.
Dr. Jantz: Um, that he carried his whole life, but that fear rippled into other areas of his life. It made him feel uncertain about himself. He didn’t feel confident. Um, so it wasn’t just swimming or water. It affected his entire life.
Jim: Right.
Dr. Jantz: That’s what anxiety does.
Jim: Right. That manifestation in different ways. How do we take an assessment to really think, are there things that happened to me that are the triggers that we’re acting out today as adults that we haven’t stopped to say, “You know what, when I think back, maybe my fear of this started there.”
Dr. Jantz: And there’s usually a starting point. There usually is.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: So we can keep it real simple. And I’m like you, Jim, though I’m in the mental health field, I don’t like psychobabble.
Jim: Right.
Dr. Jantz: And there’s a lot of things that I don’t agree with that’s in the mental health field.
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Jantz: Okay? We’ve got to be very sound in our Christian principles as we approach this. So there are some things I would never suggest. (laughs).
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: Alright. So, but one thing I would suggest is take out a piece of paper and save, 15 minutes and Lord God, show me anything that I need to be aware of to address. Maybe that happened long ago. Don’t make a huge deal out of it. Just keep it easy and, and just write down for 15 minutes, whatever comes to mind.
Jim: Right.
Dr. Jantz: And just see what the Lord brings out for you.
Jim: And that’s what you had Alan do actually. Right?
Dr. Jantz: So-
Jim: You had him list things.
Dr. Jantz: Just list what. Yeah. And so, as I just want you to look at what were the events that shaped fear in your life?
Jim: You had another story, uh, about a woman. And this one again is, uh, boy, it’s going to connect with so many women.
Dr. Jantz: Yes.
Jim: But she was assaulted as a teenager and that was extremely difficult for her. What were some of the things that she put in place to protect her heart?
Dr. Jantz: So, um, she was sexually assaulted in high school. And I’m just going to say this is more common than what one would realize.
Jim: Right.
Dr. Jantz: So I know we’re speaking to some folks today that yeah, something happened, could have been a rape, some form of sexual assault. And that changed something for you.
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Jantz: It put fear in your life. It began to change what God’s design for sex and sexuality is. And that fear has been present. And you’re hypersensitive, you’re… Have hypervigilance, you’re easily startled about anything. So seeds of fear were planted. Now there’s redemption and healing for that, but it had a real effect in your life.
Jim: Mm-hmm. You know, when someone hears that, there’s, there’s redemption, it may feel far away.
Dr. Jantz: It may feel far away.
Jim: Like you’re looking down a tunnel and that seed of redemption is thousands of feet from you. And it would be hard to imagine I can make that journey.
Dr. Jantz: Yes.
Jim: How does a person… I mean, there’s no simple answer to this. I get it. But what is the hope of that journey that you can actually get to the end of the tunnel?
Dr. Jantz: Oh, yes. And there is, and I’m going to say there’s hope for all anxiety and fear journeys.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: Okay. Remember the Lord said He didn’t give us a spirit of fear. So we don’t have to carry the fear. Okay. There’ll be some normal anxieties. There’s things that happen in life. We’ve been talking about a diagnosis. You get a diagnosis. The initial response is… Is fear and anxiety. You just can’t stay parked there.
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Jantz: We cannot dwell in anxiety.
Jim: Don’t be crippled by it.
Dr. Jantz: Because it will take us where we don’t want to go. In other words, redemption could be healing. So my body has been accustomed to dealing with in a certain way. And so your body has to be retrained. Maybe that sounds funny, but you have immediate nervous system response to something. Well, our body can be retrained. Maybe you’ve learned, um, to always your what-if is you always go right to the worst possible thing every time. And maybe you’re misjudging people, maybe you look over there and you see that person and they go that and you make judgments. So there needs to be a, if you will, a cleansing of maybe critical judgments. There needs to be a whole new place. And you need to see yourself as God sees you.
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Jantz: Now, I don’t mean that to sound super simple. Ultimately, it is. (Laughs) And you can, I just want to say you can get there.
Jim: Yeah. That’s good.
John: Hmm. Uh, Greg, forgiveness is such a big part of-
Dr. Jantz: Yes.
John: This kind of a, a healing journey. Um, I imagine it’s very difficult if the person that did something to you, let’s go back to the-
Dr. Jantz: Right.
John: Woman that was, uh, assaulted in high school. She may not have any clue where those people are.
Dr. Jantz: Right.
John: Or that individual is. How can she seek forgiveness for someone she can’t see or, or talk to? How can that happen?
Dr. Jantz: And I have to tell you, this is an incredibly important piece to the healing. So, and we need to go forgiveness doesn’t mean I need to see them or talk to them. Um, but forgiveness is a decision I am making because I no longer want to be poisoned by what happened to me. Uh, and my poison is resentment. My poison, is it still affecting my relationships today. I want freedom from that. And so sometimes it’s forgiving. Some people don’t even know who or where the person was or is. Sometimes it’s forgiving the event. It’s forgiving what happened because I no longer am going to carry that into my present relationships.
John: Hmm.
Dr. Jantz: That’s a powerful decision. And one of the things that begins to happen, you know if you’ve crossed that threshold, if you start to have gratitude in your life.
John: Hmm.
Dr. Jantz: There’s a newfound gratitude. When people start to get healed from anxiety, they start to have this gratefulness. It’s really powerful. It’s hard for anxiety and gratefulness to live together.
Jim: Wow. That’s a statement.
Dr. Jantz: So I can be great… In an odd way, I can be grateful for some of the painful journeys that I’ve come on because I’m a different person now and I’m probably going to be influential to help others, which is powerful. So, but I see this in the lives of folks that come to us for help. There’s a threshold they cross and they start to have gratitude for people in their life. And they start to want to be of service to others.
John: Hmm. This is Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. And our goal for you is for you to be able to thrive in Christ.
Jim: Mm-hmm.
John: And, uh, whatever we’re touching on here, if you want to go deeper, get a copy of the book from Dr. Gregory Jantz, The Anxiety Reset. We’re call in and speak with one of our caring Christian counselors. We’ll set up a time for them to give you a call back and have a free over the phone consultation. Our number is 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY where you can find details at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast.
Jim: You explain in the book, anxiety is kind of like being in a concrete barred cell and that you need to create the jailbreak.
Dr. Jantz: Yeah.
John: Mm-hmm.
Jim: So describe what the jailbreak-
Dr. Jantz: The jailbreak.
Jim: And people that have anxiety know exactly what you’re talking about out of the book. That it feels like you’re locked in.
Dr. Jantz: You’re locked in. And that’s that spirit of fear that holds you back. When we talk about anxiety, there’s the spiritual side and then there’s the relationship side. There’s the whole person side. So we want to look at it. So the breakout is also a decision, I’m not going to live this way anymore. I’m committed to working through whatever I have to, to have healing. I’m not going to be bound by this. And there’s a decision we make and maybe at first it’s because you’re so locked into living with anxiety, it’s almost normal. It’s not a healthy normal, but you’re used to it.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: And if you say to a person, “No, you don’t have to live that way.” They’re going to go, “What? No, I don’t get that.” So-
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: So we need to teach a new way to live.
Jim: Right.
Dr. Jantz: And I know that it can be done.
Jim: It, it can sound like, I want to make sure that you’re differentiating for the listener who might be struggling with anxiety.
Dr. Jantz: Yes.
Jim: That you can simply will yourself out of it. And people with anxiety sometimes-
Dr. Jantz: No.
Jim: That’s a no.
Dr. Jantz: Right. No. And remember, hope comes when there’s a plan. So we’re putting together a plan for that jailbreak.
Jim: Okay.
Dr. Jantz: It’s a plan. Okay?
Jim: What does it look like? The plan.
Dr. Jantz: So, and that’s where I’m going to… Okay. Is there that early childhood trauma, is there chemical issues? Do I have a secret hidden addiction? You know, what is going on in my life? Have I developed another form of anxiety is obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Jantz: Have I developed some faulty beliefs around, uh, who God is or, um, God’s love for me? We start to believe things that are not true. Remember, anxiety is one of the ways that the enemy comes to what? Kill and destroy. We do that through fear.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: So we need a good plan of hope to get out of that.
Jim: Yeah. And it’s so true. I, uh, you know, I have, uh, relationships that I know these people are struggling with anxiety.
Dr. Jantz: Yes.
Jim: Can you look at it in again, stages where some people will feel so incapacitated, they might not be able to look for a job, they might not be able to. And think of the young people that went through COVID, that graduated high school-
Dr. Jantz: Right.
Jim: With two years of no contact or a little contact all at home learning.
Dr. Jantz: Yes.
Jim: Um, it really did impact that community. And those 20-somethings now are kind of struggling with how to get on track.
Dr. Jantz: Oh, they are. And this is a very real issue. And we’re seeing anxiety levels drop down to our 12, 17-year-olds. We’re seeing kids who are… Are struggling. Remember for kids, a lot of times, they’re absorbing the fear that’s around them.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: So we need to be aware of that.
Jim: And they absorbed a lot during that time.
Dr. Jantz: They absorbed a lot. Yes.
Jim: And so it’s helping them to, uh, climb out of that pit.
Dr. Jantz: Well, remember one of the lies of anxiety is you don’t have purpose or you don’t have meaning. That’s what anxiety tells you.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: Anxiety tells you you don’t really matter. Remember, it’s always the opposite. The truth is always the opposite.
Jim: Yeah, that’s a good word.
John: So, uh, Greg, I’m thinking of the spouse who is, uh, married to someone who is just caught by anxiety and platitudes. I mean, I… Let’s just say I’m that person. Fortunately, Dena is not full of anxiety. But if she were, I wouldn’t have anything to say to her. I, I wouldn’t know what to do.
Dr. Jantz: Right.
John: How could I possibly help her besides saying, “Hey, let’s listen to this Focus on the Family show, but what are some things I could do to just help my spouse start to see hope and see the truth?
Dr. Jantz: Okay. Wonderful question. And remember, receiving it from a family member is always the most difficult. So I’m probably going to take her and we’re going to go outside for a walk. We’re going to create movement. Um, always create movement together when you feel anxious. Change your… If if it’s changing the room in your house, get up, let’s go for a walk. Um, you’ll also begin to change how you talk when you’re walking. So movement, change it. So that’s just one simple thing.
John: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Jantz: And, um, I also would probably say, “Can I get you something to drink?” And it would be water or hot tea or something. Um, because, um, I’m going to give them a beverage as they start to drink. Um, water is really interesting. When a person’s anxious, start to have them drink water or some hot tea.
Jim: It just helps.
Dr. Jantz: Um, well, it begins… So we’re accessing different parts of the brain. We’re changing the environment, we’re moving. And that other person will feel some comfort, but they’ll also will feel like, “Oh, you care about me.”
John: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Jantz: You’re not just giving me quick answers. You care about me, you’re with me.
Jim: Huh.
Dr. Jantz: A person in fear needs you to be with them.
John: Mm-hmm.
Jim: Yeah. You have uh a great story about John that really caught your attention.
Dr. Jantz: Yes.
Jim: What happened?
Dr. Jantz: So John ultimately came for help for anxiety. John was successful.
Jim: Okay.
Dr. Jantz: But he worked from home and, uh, he had gotten deep anxiety, deep depression. And John had been to a half a dozen counselors and doctors and nothing was working. John came to The Center and he said this, he goes, “You’re my last hope.”
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: That, well, you who wants to be anybody’s last hope, right?
Jim: Right.
Dr. Jantz: And so John was paralyzed by anxiety, though he could sit at his computer and work all day, he would not go out. He had social anxiety. He couldn’t make self-care decisions anymore. And so I said, “Well, John, one of the things we do is we want to look at what have you been putting in your mouth?” (laughs).
Jim: Right. Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: In other words, what have you been eating? And, uh, so the revelation was that over time, this took a couple years, John was primarily drinking only caffeine, coffee, never drinking water anymore. And he had got himself up to 10 to 12 pots of coffee a day.
John: Oh my goodness.
Dr. Jantz: And that was his diet. Now can you imagine pots? So, and here, here’s… I said, John, you must mean cups, cups of coffee. He says, “No, no, they’re pots.” I go, “Well, what’s a pot?” He goes, “You know, it’s the home brewer.” And what’s the home brewer have 10, 12?
Jim: 10, 12 cups.
Dr. Jantz: Cups of coffee in it. Yeah. And that’s all he did all day long.
Jim: Wow.
Dr. Jantz: So was he going to have anxiety? But here’s what was remarkable. John said, “Nobody’s ever asked me what I put in my mouth. I was just looking for the magic pill.” And so did it take a while? Because was his digestion off? Was he depleted in B vitamins? Was there a lot of physical issues because of that? Yes. So, you know, by God’s design, what we put in our mouth ultimately will matter.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: And so John had significant anxiety in his life. Now, that wasn’t the only reason, but was that a reason that amplified everything? Yes.
Jim: Contributing factor.
Dr. Jantz: And I have to tell you, I’ve never seen another John. I’ve never seen another person that does 10 to 12 pots of coffee a day. But that’s the importance of, “Well, what are you putting in your mouth?”
John: Mm-hmm.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: That could be contributing?
Jim: And that helped him immeasurably, I would imagine.
Dr. Jantz: Well, what we did was it was one cup of coffee, then a bottle of water, one cup of coffee. (laughs) And that’s how he had to do it.
Jim: Start there.
Dr. Jantz: Yeah.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: But you know, John couldn’t walk around the block.
Jim: Hmm.
Dr. Jantz: And so, uh, one of our team members actually walked him around the block. He wouldn’t have the energy for it.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: And he was afraid to go outside. So I, no matter how fear or anxiety has you paralyzed, there is hope for you.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: It comes by a plan and God will give us that plan.
Jim: Yeah. Uh, you mentioned hope a few times through our time together yesterday and today.
Dr. Jantz: Yes.
Jim: I want to talk about that story about James, who was a, I think a biologist. He had a number of family members that died of cancer, and he was contemplating taking his own life. Describe that setting and then what happened?
Dr. Jantz: James had had significant loss, family member after family member, and it almost didn’t seem real, like it was too much. Um, and then his question that came to his mind was, “Why is it even worth living? Does my life even matter?” And so he had… Didn’t have the relationships. And in his mind, and he was brilliant, he was a… Had a brilliant mind, but he still came to the place of despair.
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Jantz: And the place of despair said, “My life is probably not worth living. I’ll just, you know, join the others.” That was where his thinking went.
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Jantz: And so fear, anxiety can cause you to do two things, desperation and despair.
Jim: Yeah. And in that context, I think he went to a area of the beach where he knew there was a strong current, he was going to swim out-
Dr. Jantz: He was going to-
Jim: And just stand, but it was as if the Lord sent a dog.
Dr. Jantz: Mm-hmm.
Jim: Right?
Dr. Jantz: Mm-hmm.
Jim: Describe that. I mean, this is that idea of hope you had mentioned.
Dr. Jantz: Yes.
Jim: And what did this animal do that persuaded him that somebody cared?
Dr. Jantz: (Laughs) So, you know, it’s, it’s how does God do this? You know. So a dog runs on the beach and disrupts his plan and and gets him thinking about other things.
Jim: Right. The dog’s running between him and the beach and like not letting him go in the water.
Dr. Jantz: And so what God is at work, um, in a great way.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: And it, but see, it distracts. And that’s when we get into anxiety, we need a truth distraction. So the Lord used that dog to distract him. Um-
Jim: And it gave him the thought that somebody cares.
Dr. Jantz: Somebody.
Jim: And it gave him hope.
Dr. Jantz: Somebody might care.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: Yeah. So, and by the way, we’re known at times to use pets in our treatment of anxiety.
Jim: Sure.
Dr. Jantz: So this is part of God’s design.
Jim: Yeah. I, I just think it’s a beautiful story.
John: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Jantz: Yeah.
Jim: Of hope.
Dr. Jantz: Yeah.
Jim: And God will use all kinds of things to bring us that hope. That’s what I like about that. And let’s end here. Faith in Christ is integral to healing from anxiety. Obviously, we’ve talked about this the last couple of days. The spiritual application to it, the foundation that you have to build everything upon, take care of your spirit, then your body, and then begin to take notes on other things that are going on in your life. I think you’ve been very explicit. People need to get the book. We scratched the surface and we’ll tell you how to get the book in a minute. But what I want to end with is what Jesus meant when He said, “Ask, seek, and knock.”
Dr. Jantz: Mm-hmm.
Jim: Because you have a very specific application to those.
Dr. Jantz: Yes. And we want to keep knocking. There’s times we feel like God’s not hearing me. God doesn’t care, others don’t understand. And it gets very… It can get very dark. And my encouragement to you is this is not the time, not the season to stop knocking because there will be an answer. There’ll probably be multiple answers. And God will… May bring somebody into your life. I’m a big proponent of getting the right kind of help. You know, and maybe it’s, um, Focus counselors, but stepping out and today doing something different.
Jim: Yeah. Do something different. Don’t be the same person tomorrow as you are today. And that’s true for all of us.
Dr. Jantz: And well, and you have more courage in what you realize.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: Remember anxiety’s lying to you and you don’t feel courageous, but you’re going to take a step today and the more steps you take, um, you will feel encouraged ultimately.
Jim: There you go.
Dr. Jantz: The regret comes when I don’t do anything.
Jim: Well, that’s good. Uh, Greg, it’s been so good to have you with us. Thank you so much for the hours you poured into doing the book.
Dr. Jantz: Yes.
Jim: The Anxiety Reset, the time you spent with us the last couple of days. Thanks for reaching out and helping so many with this issue of anxiety. Appreciate it.
Dr. Jantz: Oh, and from the depths of my heart, I know there’s hope.
Jim: Yeah. And let me turn to you, the viewer, the listener. Uh, man, this is a subject that as we talked about, is impacting so many people. One out of five adults, one out of four children. And as Dr. Jantz mentioned, that number’s probably higher today.
Dr. Jantz: Yes.
Jim: Compared to when that research was done. Get a hold of us. If you are experiencing this or a loved one, a family member is experiencing it, let us, uh, help you, uh, certainly take advantage of a free counseling, uh, hour usually is what they’ll spend with you. And then there’s other, uh, human resources, someone in your area that is probably on our referral list that you can continue to dialogue with, a caring Christian counselor. Plus, you can get a copy of Greg’s book from us. And if you make a gift of any amount, we’ll send it to you as our way of saying thank you for being part of the ministry. If you do that monthly, it really helps us. I often will say, if you can’t afford it, this is about healing and helping. So just get ahold of us. We’ll trust others will cover the cost of that as part of the ministry. So bottom line, if you need help, get ahold of us.
John: Hmm. And help is a phone call away. 800-232-6459. 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY. Or you’ll find links at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast. On behalf of the entire team, thanks for joining us today for Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. I’m John Fuller, inviting you back next time as we once again help you and your family thrive in Christ.
