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Saving Your Marriage With Love and Respect (Part 1 of 2)

Saving Your Marriage With Love and Respect (Part 1 of 2)

Speaker Lisa Shea describes how Dr. Emerson Eggerichs' "Love and Respect" principles and God's grace helped save her marriage, and how she learned to be a godly wife. (Part 1 of 2)
Original Air Date: November 13, 2019

Mrs. Lisa Shea: When I found myself faced with a second disintegrating marriage and this time with three kids, I’m like, “This is bad. I.. I need help. I need help! I need hope.”

John Fuller: Hm, well today you’re gonna hear how Lisa Shea found the help and hope she needed to save her marriage. Your host is Focus President Jim Daly, and I’m John Fuller.

Jim Daly:  Lisa has quite a testimony, and even though this is a serious topic, she brings wit and wisdom in equal portions, so I know you’re gonna get a kick out of this message. Lisa teaches bible studies and mentors women of all ages. And as you’ll hear, she has a deep relationship with the Lord.

John:  Here now is Lisa Shea, speaking at Destiny Worship Center in Miramar Beach, Florida. And we’re gonna be diving in after her opening remarks on today’s Focus on the Family.

Lisa:  I need to tell you where I came from so that you understand some things. I was raised in church. I went to church every single Sunday. All right? I knew that God was big. He was a big God. He was a powerful God. But he was very busy with third-world countries and starving orphans and wars. And He loved Mother Teresa and Billy Graham because they were doing fabulous things for Him. He was like, “Those are my favorite kids. They’re good.”  OK? So that was my view of God and, um, not really a solid foundation at all.

So, I went to an all-girl high school. Any all-girl high school survivors?  (LAUGHTER) Oh, oh, we will hug later because, I’m gonna tell you, that does nothing for your self-esteem, OK (laughter)? It was a very tough school, and, um, I was probably 30 pounds soaking wet, so I couldn’t really stick up for myself, so I had the verbal skills. You see, I’m very boisterous. I’m independent. I like to tell it like it is. And if you come at me with something, I’ll getcha right back, all right? So that’s how I learned to defend myself was verbally.

When I was 18, I met the man of my dreams. By the time I was 19, I was engaged. I was married by the time I was 21. I was on the same path as my mom and dad. And they met in high school, got married at 21, and they are still – praise God – happily married. But two years into this relationship, everything fell apart. Everything fell apart. And we decided we were going to get divorced. Who would get hurt? We didn’t have any kids. I was young. He was immature – you know, irreconcilable differences. Who would get hurt? Big mistake – just, oops. Well, little did I realize that that decision was going to devastate me.

I suffered from Chronic Fatigue Epstein-Barr Syndrome. There were days I couldn’t even get out of bed, I was so sick. I was clinically depressed and on antidepressants. I was suicidal. I was lonely because my friends were his friends, so when he left, they went with him, and I found myself alone.

Interestingly enough, I was working at the time and God strategically placed this woman who sat in this cubicle, like, almost on top of me, and her name was Cate. And Cate started telling me about her divorce. She had been divorced 10 years prior. And, “Wow, Lisa, I know how you’re feeling. I know what you’re thinking. I know the pain you’re going through. I know the hopelessness.” Has anyone here ever thought their life was going to go one way and something happened, and it doesn’t look like you thought at all and you feel like, “this is hopeless”? That’s where I was.

So Cate kept saying this thing to me. She’s like, “Lisa, during this desperate time in my life, I met Jesus. And, oh, the hope that I have now. I… there is new meaning to life. And He is wonderful, and you will feel so loved and – and you will understand more. He has a bigger plan. And, Lisa, God has written your name in His book since the beginning of time.”

“OK.”

“Lisa, you don’t understand. Your name has been written in his book since the beginning of time.” OK. I went to church every single Sunday, but the name Jesus was too reverent, and we didn’t talk about him. Oh, so I got – I’m like, “Oh, Jesus – she’s talking about Jesus. And it’s really creeping me out, and I can’t be rude to her because she’s sitting, like, on top of me.” And so I go, “Oh, that’s really nice, Cate” – type, type, type. “She’s one of them. She’s a Jesus freak. Oh, I got – get me away from her. She’s crazy.” OK. But she was so sweet, and she really did care about me. “Your name is written in His book.”

So I don’t know if any of you remember this back in the day – I’m really dating myself – but she handed me a tract. Does anyone know what a tract is?  So she gives me this tract. And what a tract is, for those of you who don’t know, is it’s a card, and on the card is a prayer. And the prayer is, um, to accept Jesus into your life as your Lord and Savior. Hey now, a prayer does not save you. Jesus Christ saves you. But, you know, she handed me this note, this little tract. I go out on disability. I am really isolated, and I’m desperately thinking about ending my life because I didn’t see any way out of this pain, this illness, this depression, this hopelessness, this death of a dream. And I realized, you know, I could end my life, but I can’t do that to my mother.

So, I pull out the tract, and I read the prayer. And I read it again and I read it again and again and again and I feel nothing. Now, I’m gonna tell you this. Side note – the first minute that I prayed that prayer for the very first time and I was crying out, Jesus saved me like that. That is the truth. But I didn’t know that. I wanted to feel something. I don’t know what I wanted to feel. Did I want the heavens to open up? Did I watch harps and angels? Did I want to jump for joy? Did I – I don’t know what I expected. But I knew I didn’t feel any different. We take our salvation by faith. But, again, I didn’t know that.

So this is what I did. I said, “God, I don’t know if I matter to you. I really don’t think I do. But if I do, will you show me? Will you show me that I – I matter and that You care? Because things are really bad right now, and I don’t know if I can live another day.” Hopelessness.

Not long after that, my grandmother shows up at the door. And my family knew I was very sick. They knew that I was, you know, bummed out, but they didn’t know the depth of despair that I was going through. And she’s like, “Lisa, I have something for you. It’s your great-grandfather’s.” Now, my great-grandparents lived with my grandparents from the time I was born till I was 12 years old. So any time I went to grandma and grandpa’s, Nana and Gigi were there, OK? So it was not a big deal that my grandmother would have something of my great-grandfather’s. She was a pack rat. Her house just kept getting wider because she saved everything. But when I was 12, my – both my great-grandparents passed away. So she said, “I have something for you.” Great. So she hands me this book.

We have a picture. “Oh, that’s cool, Grandma. Thank you so much. I love heirlooms. This is really neat.” It is a New Testament, Army-Navy edition. “Wow. Thank you, Grandma.” Then I opened it up. And inside it says, “To Lisa, from Gigi and Nana.” Ladies, gentlemen, my name was written in His book. (crowd: ooooh) Your name is written in his book, too. No matter where you are in your life, no matter how hopeless things may be, He sees, He hears, He knows, He cares, He’s watching. Your name is written in His book. I mattered to God. “Cate, guess what. I get it now. I’ve got hope. You were divorced. You met Jesus. He forgave you. I got divorced. I met Jesus. He forgave me. I get it.” I’m on fire. I’m on fire. I’m telling the whole world about Jesus. I become one of them.  (LAUGHTER)

And it was so cool. And I’m on fire for God. I did not –   and then at this point, Cate moves to a different company, and we only keep in touch at Christmas time through Christmas cards. And I don’t have godly women around me telling me what I should do – right? – you know, what to do, what not to do and to pray for me and encourage me. And so I take matters into my own hands, and I meet Mike Shea. And I was like, “Bow chicka bow bow – he is a hottie. Thank you, Jesus.” All right. “This is good. I’m good now. I’m good now, God.” And I put God in my back pocket. Am I the only one? Things are really bad and you’re like, “God, God, God.” And then he, like, picks you up, brushes you off, gets you OK, and then you’re like, “Woo, peace out, thanks.” And you go on your merry way until you fall right back into a whole ‘nother pit and then you’re like, “How did I get here?”

I dated Mike Shea for four years. I studied him under a microscope. I wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice. Uh-uh, nope. I broke up with him whenever he got creepy because, you know, guys can be a little, you know.  (LAUGHTER)  Sorry, gentlemen. Don’t worry. I broke up with him when I got creepy because girls can be a little creepy too, you know?  So I was like, “I am not married. I am dating. He looks at me wrong. He is out of here. Yeah.” And then he kept coming back. And I was like, “Hmm. Ah. This must be the one because I am trying to run him off and he just keeps coming back for more. Hmm, all right. Must be the one.” (Laughter) So I will add this, too. I did everything wrong in that relationship. Do you know what I’m saying without saying it? I did everything wrong. I did not honor God in that relationship. We lived together because I wasn’t going to make that same mistake.

So Mike Shea and I decide it’s time. We’re going to get married. We were the best of friends. We communicated, like, amazing. We finished other’s sentences. We’d love to be together. He would go grocery shopping with me. Who does that?

So we decide it’s time to get married. So we get married. In the first year of our marriage – so we get married. I get pregnant. He gets a new job. I get a new job. We move out of state. Then I had a baby two months later, so 14 months. So, within the first 14 months – oh (laughter) we bought a home. So, in the first 14 months of our marriage, we nailed seven of the major stressors in your life (laughter). So stupid. Again, with God in my back pocket.

John: Well certainly some people are over achievers and our guest on Focus on the Family is one of them., Lisa Shea. And you can donate and get a CD of this entire presentation when you call 1-800-A-Family or go online get the CD or audio download at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast.

Lisa: During that time, our focus was definitely not on God, and my focus was on my baby, and his focus was on, “Oh, my goodness… now, “I am, you know, supporting…” – I was a stay-at-home mom at this point, and he’s got the pressure of his job. The pressure of the bills for everybody. The weight of “I need to survive and care for this family.” I didn’t understand all that. I just thought he went to work. You know, I had a baby at home. He could go to the bathroom by himself. I had someone on my lap. He’s like, “I had such a bad day.” “Did you (laughter) – did you go to the bathroom alone?” “Well, yeah.” “Well, you had a better day than I did.”  (LAUGHTER)

And “I did your job.” We worked at the same company. “I did your job.” I’m telling you. Your job is a lot easier than mine.” OK. But that’s where my mind was. So he’s focusing on him. I’m focusing on me. I’m focusing on my child. And things disintegrated rapidly. Now, we did have some good days in between those bad days. We have two other children. (LAUGHTER) All of a sudden, we were outnumbered, and my last two, if you noticed, they are 13 months and 28 days apart. I had two in diapers. I was, like, pulling my – I was like that picture with my hair like this. It was like that every day. It wasn’t the wind from the beach. It always looked… (LAUGHTER)

All right. So our marriage disintegrates, and I’m standing at the top of my stairs with two of the three, I think. And I look down at the foyer, and he’s standing up looking at me and he goes, “I hate living here.” [exhales] And the sad thing was I hated living there, too. I didn’t know how this happened. We were best friends. I would walk into a room, and he’d say, “What’s wrong now?” OK. High school, Lisa – this is what high school Lisa said. “Huh! What’s wrong now? I just got here, so you must be the problem.”  (LAUGHTER) He would shoot a little spit ball zinger and I would bring out the high school atomic bomb (imitating explosion). He could not win an argument with me. Can I tell you? That does not help your marriage at all.  (LAUGHTER)

It doesn’t. Now, I know I’m making light of some things and we’re laughing, but, ladies, when I found myself faced with a second disintegrating marriage and this time with three kids, I’m like, “This is bad. I.. I need help. I need help! I need hope.” So I started reading. I read 20 self-help books on marriage and self-improvement to try to fix things – 20. We went to counselors on and off. One counselor was sitting there. He met with both of us, and then he met with us separately. And he said, “Lisa, the only way you’re going to get his attention is if you throw him out.” Ohhhh. I don’t have grounds to do that, and you’re telling me that my situation is so hopeless… Hopelessness yet again – this time, even worse.

So, I drive home in my minivan.  (LAUGHTER)  And I’m sobbing. And I go to the very last resort that should have been my first resort. And I said, “Oh, God, oh, God, I am so sorry. I’m in a mess. I know I’ve done this. I don’t know how I did it. I mean, I’m just caring for me and my children. I’m just trying to care for my children. I don’t – but I need your help. Do you remember me? I’m Lisa.” Now, this is what I did know. I knew enough that God was not going to rescue me back here and save me and deliver me from depression and heal me of sickness and save me eternally – I knew He wouldn’t do that back here to abandon me here. He is the same God yesterday. Let’s give Him…  (APPLAUSE)

He is the same God yesterday, today and tomorrow. And, yes, it was my fault I walked away from Him. Yes, 100 percent, it was me, and my husband did the same thing. But He is a loving and merciful God. And if you find yourself in that position today, you call out on Him and He will answer you and He will rescue you because He has plans for you. He has plans for you.

Ok…Back to my story. So I’m crying, crying, crying, crying, and I feel the Lord say to my heart, “Don’t you do that. Don’t you throw him out. Hm-mm, you be still.” I’m like, “Oh, OK, I’ll be still.” I don’t know about you, but, like, I’m like, 40-something, but inside, I’m still a little girl. And I just wanted to cry to my Daddy in heaven. And He said, “Be still.” OK. So, one day, I go – not long after, a couple days, a couple days – I go to the mailbox, and I open up the mailbox and inside is a package from Cate. Remember Cate? Crazy Jesus freak Cate. Remember?  (LAUGHTER)

I’m like, “Cate!” And she sent me a gift. We don’t do gifts. This is weird. And I open it up, and it was a book. And on the book was a note. And she said, “Lisa, we heard this man on the radio on Focus on the Family. And he wrote this book, and I read it, and I cried. Dean read it, and he cried. And we just think it would really bless you. It really changed our marriage.” “What?” Now, I don’t know about you, but we only exchanged Christmas cards. On my Christmas cards, I did not write, “Merry Christmas, my marriage is in the toilet. How are you?”  (LAUGHTER)  Do you? No. “Life is great. We’re great. The kids are perfect.” (LAUGHTER) That’s what you put in your Christmas cards.  (LAUGHTER) You don’t air your dirty laundry.

So, I open up the package. I tear off the note. And the title of the book – Motivating Your Man God’s Way. Are you kidding me? (LAUGHTER)  Just – like – get this. God told me to be still. He sends me another book. I’m catching on now. He speaks to me with books, right? And the title of the book is Motivating Your Man God’s Way – bingo! God knew that my husband needed motivating. He knew that it was all Mike’s fault! He knew that I needed rescuing and that he needed motivating and He sent me the answer in this book.

So I’m like, “This is so good. This is an answer to prayer. God is so good.” And I read it, and it says Ephesians 5:33 – Oh, OK. Ephesians 5:33 says, “a husband must love his wife as he loves himself.” “Yes! God, you – you – your word is my heart’s cry. I cannot believe this. Yes, of course, he’s supposed to love me like he loves himself. And, God, while I’m at it, while we’re talking about this, um, the reason I haven’t been loving him the way I should is because he loves himself enough for the both of us, so I have to love me. (LAUGHTER) He’s just so self-absorbed.”

So then I keep reading the Scripture – oh, “and a wife must respect her husband.” “Yeah, well, of course I’ll do that when he’s loving me as much as he loves himself – awesome!” And then I kept reading, and I learned that it was a command that God had given wives apart from, regardless of, our husbands’ performance – pfft.  (LAUGHTER)

I’m doing it because I know most of you here are thinking it, and I thought it, too. And I’m gonna be very honest with you. I hated this book. I hated it. “This isn’t fair. Don’t you know that I am a strong, independent female, and I like to say it like it is? And if he doesn’t want to listen to me when I have something to say, that’s his problem. That is not my problem. And there is absolutely no way that I’m going to do some of these things that you’re telling me that I have to do – uh-uh, uh-uh.” I wanted to shove this in the garbage disposal. I wanted to flip it under the lawnmower. There was no way. (LAUGHTER)

Nope. (LAUGHTER)

Well, 20 self-help books, and those didn’t work. God tells you to be still. And then He sends you a book that’s based on His Word, which is what you cried out for. Hey, ladies, how many of you have prayed for God to do something and you don’t like the way He answers that? LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

(Laughter) “I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to. I…I don’t want it… “ (LAUGHTER)

This isn’t fair. Look at how he’s treating me. Look at how he’s talking to me. Look at how – he’s breaking my heart (mumbling).” (LAUGHTER)

And again, I’m laughing now. We’re laughing, but if you are there, sister, I was with you. It is not funny. You’re not alone. You’re not the only one. You’re not the only Christian who’s struggling in her marriage. Hang on to what I’m going to say, OK? All right. So I’m like, “OK, I have to do this. I have to. I’ve done everything else. Nothing’s worked. I’ve overeaten. I’ve overspent. I have yelled, nagged, screamed. I’ve withheld, you know, you know. (LAUGHTER)

Yeah. None of it works. Just don’t even. Don’t even. Just – none of that works. OK, God, I will trust you.” Do you know some of you in your marriage, you think you’re in a marriage crisis, but it’s really not a marriage crisis. It could be a crisis in your faith.

And I felt like God said to me, “How are you going to teach your children to have faith in Me if you don’t have faith that I can do something in your marriage?” Uh! You know when you hear the truth and it brings you to your knees and it goes against every grain of your being, but you know that it’s the truth? I knew that was the spirit of God.

John: (serious) Lisa Shea on Focus on the Family, and you’ll hear how her marriage radically changed, next time.

Jim:  Yeah, John, there is a lot of hope coming up, as Lisa continues her story.

You know, I was delighted to hear that Lisa’s friend, Cate, learned about Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and the Love & Respect principles from the Focus on the Family’s broadcast – what a great surprise and what a great illustration of how we’re helping marriages together!  Cate got his book, Motivating Your Man God’s Way right here from Focus, and read it with her husband, and then sent it to Lisa.  So well done, Cate!  That’s just one example of how we can do ministry together right here at Focus on the Family.

And you know, our research tells us that we’ve helped 11-thousand couples per month resolve a major marital crisis…. and when you donate, you become part of that success! Please join us with a regular, monthly pledge if you can do that – that’s the best way to help us make these resources available for hurting couples. And when you make a pledge of any amount, we’ll send you the book, Love & Respect, by Dr. Eggerichs….it’s the most comprehensive book he’s written on this topic addressing both the ‘love’ and ‘respect’ sides of the equation for men and women. And if you can’t make that monthly pledge, we get that. Get in touch with us anyway and we’ll send this excellent book to you for a one-time gift of any amount.

Next time, Lisa’s is going to be talking about how she applied the Love and Respect principles in her marriage. But let me point out that if you’re experiencing abuse from your spouse, you need to get to a place of safety and keep that location a secret. Especially if you have children! Once you are safely away from your home, you can pursue counseling for both yourself and your spouse, while remaining physically safe.

And I know, in addition to that, give us a call and speak to one of our caring, Christian counselors.  They may have to call you back but they will spend  time with you on the phone and then refer you to a Christian counselor in your area who has experience dealing with domestic abuse.

And let me remind you that our Hope Restored marriage intensive program is a great resource as well.  At Hope Restored we help couples break free from cycles of pain in their marriage and we help them thrive in ways they thought were really impossible. When we interview couples as they’re leaving, 95-percent say the intensive experience WILL make a difference in their marriage. And we verify that two years later. Four out of five couples say they’re doing very well. That’s an amazing success rate.

So, to those who donate to Focus on the Family, let me say THANK YOU for helping save these marriages! And if you’re not a donor, let me encourage you to become one – be a partner with us today!

John:  And you can show your support for marriage by making that monthly pledge, or a one-time gift of any amount, and uh, request the book, Love & Respect, by Emerson Eggerichs when you do.

Our website is focusonthefamily.com/broadcast and you can call 800 the letter A and the word FAMILY. 800-232-6459.

And If you enjoyed today’s program, please, tell a friend to tune in next time, as Lisa explains how she began showing respect to her husband Mike even when she didn’t feel like it.

Lisa: Some of you may be thinking, “if I do these things, I’m going to be a doormat.” No, you’re going to be a welcome mat for the power of God in your life.

Today's Guests

Love & Respect

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cherish front cover

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

“Most marriages survive by gritting teeth and holding on. But marriages can and will not only survive but thrive when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another.” Those are the powerful words of bestselling author Gary Thomas in his newest book–Cherish. And in a world desperate for marriage redemption, it is needed now more than ever. Thomas shows that although there are a countless number of marriages consisting of two people just going through the motions, there are real ways this pattern can be reversed: when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another in proven, loving, and everyday actions and words.

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Newest Release - Episode 2: Heroes Providing Hope

Discover the amazing work our PRC’s Directors, Nurses, and Volunteers are making in their communities! You’ll see firsthand testimonies of a PRC in action, and that there are other options outside of abortions! You’ll also discover how your family can support your local PRC!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 4: Sometimes the Choice is Hard

Hear real life stories of parents who have made the decision to choose life even though the circumstances were overwhelming. You’ll see why “ALL” life is precious to God and why choosing life is always the right decision!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 3: The Power of a Picture

Have you ever wondered what a baby looked like in the womb? With today’s technology, Moms and Dads can see the baby’s heartbeat, facial expressions, and movements! You’ll find out why more women choose life once they hear their baby’s heartbeat and realize it’s a real living human!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 5: It’s Going to be Amazing!

After a couple has chosen life, hear the heartwarming stories of children that culture would have cast aside, yet are making tremendous impacts in their communities. Whether the diagnosis was adverse or the circumstances were difficult, these stories will inspire you to come along side of families who have chosen life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 6: Families Helping Families!

So, after all you’ve seen through the SeeLife ‘21 Episodic journey; what can you do now? We’ll share how you can partner with some amazing organizations that are making significant impacts in the pro-life movement! You want to Celebrate Life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 2

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Effective Habits to Embrace in Parenting

To be an effective parent, you must be a leader in your child’s life, guiding with a gentle hand and setting a solid example. Dr. Randy Schroeder provides the insight you need to be a leader-parent. As he explores the foundational Rs—relationship, routines, responsibilities, and rules—you’ll better understand the role you play in your child’s life. You’ll learn great phrases to employ such as “Either/Or/You Decide” and “When You/Then You”. While there is no perfect parent, this nuts-and-bolts material will equip you to lead your child in a loving, confident manner.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder has spent more than four decades writing, counseling, speaking, and teaching. For nearly 25 years, he was Vice President of Student Personnel Services, Dean of Students, and a professor of pastoral counseling at Concordia Theological Seminary in Fort Wayne, Ind. He’s also led a successful counseling practice helping individuals, couples, and families to thrive in their lives and relationships.

Cover image of Dr. Randall Schroeder's book "Simple Habits for Effective Parenting"

Simple Habits for Effective Parenting

Effective parenting is now within your grasp! With this inspiring how-to comprehensive book, achieve extraordinary results in raising a child to be self-assured, self-reliant, and responsible! You will be able to successfully lead and lovingly encourage your child toward a Godly life!

The Spiritual Battle for Your Marriage

God designed marriage to reflect His love to the world; and because of this, the enemy wants to destroy God’s beautiful design. Based on his book, Defending Your Marriage, Dr. Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff share about the reality of spiritual warfare against marriages, and how to combat the enemy’s lies with the truth of God. Couples will be encouraged that they’re not alone in the fight for a godly marriage and better equipped to be a shining example for the world around them.

Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff Cropped

Dr. Tim and Mrs. Noreen Muehlhoff

Dr. Tim Muehlhoff is a professor of communication at Biola University in La Mirada, California where he teaches classes in family communication, interpersonal communication, apologetics, gender, and conflict resolution.  Tim and his wife, Noreen, are both on staff with Biola’s Center for Marriage and Relationships  where he is a co-host of The Art of Relationship podcast. 

Defending Your Marriage

Is your marriage under attack? Sometimes it can feel like the world is trying to tear your marriage apart. Internal conflicts or external pressures might make you wonder if something sinister is going on. How can you tell if you’re facing spiritual opposition? And what can you do about it? Tim Muehlhoff provides a straightforward resource for protecting your marriage from the threats of the evil one. He looks at what Scripture says about spiritual warfare and how our everyday struggles have deeper spiritual realities. And he provides practical steps for guarding our marriages with the whole armor of God.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 1

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 2

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 2

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage - Part 2

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 2

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Embracing Your Role as a Spouse

As a spouse, you have three roles to play—a friend, a partner, and a lover. On this one-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Pastor Kevin A. Thompson explores those different roles and challenges you to live them out by investing emotionally, physically, and mentally in your relationship. As friends, he suggests we learn to play and laugh together. As partners, he equips us with solid ways to handle conflict and communication. As lovers, he offers some thoughts on how to bring back the sizzle. He shares five keys to saving your marriage: humility, respect, mercy, communication, and resilience. You’ll be encouraged to intentionally invest in your marriage.

Headshot of Kevin Thompson

Pastor Kevin Thompson

Kevin A. Thompson (MDiv, Beeson Divinity School) is lead pastor at Community Bible Church, a growing multi-site church with four locations in western Arkansas. Every year he meets with nearly one hundred couples with a range of needs, from pre-marital counseling to navigating the most serious betrayals. A marriage and parenting conference speaker, he and his wife, Jenny, have two children and live in Fort Smith, Arkansas. He blogs at kevinathompson.com.

Cover image of Kevin Thompson's book "Friends, Partners & Lovers"

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

With engaging stories and clear, simple language, pastor Kevin Thompson shows how to live out three distinct roles in marraige. Using solid biblical principles, he helps you and your spouse grow your friendship, be supportive partners through the good times and the bad, and develop a healthy and satisfying sex life.

Sharing Your Faith with Grace and Purpose

You can confidently and lovingly share your faith—you just need to learn some new tactics to do so! In this Focus on the Family Daily Broadcast, apologist Greg Koukl outlines the “Columbo” tactic of asking questions, the “self-defeating argument” tactic to find holes in your opponent’s arguments, and other specific methods for engaging in faith-building conversations with others. Greg pulls from his over 30 years of experience debating atheists and agnostics to help you share your faith with grace and truth.

Mr. Greg Koukl

Greg Koukl is a writer, public speaker and talk show host who’s spent 30 years advocating for and defending the Christian worldview. Greg has written or contributed to 15 books, including The Story of RealityTactics, and Precious Unborn Human Persons. Greg has published nearly 230 articles and has spoken on 80 college and university campuses in the U.S. and abroad.

Tactics front cover

Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition: A Game Plan for Discussing Your Christian Convictions

In a world increasingly indifferent to Christian truth, followers of Christ need to be equipped to communicate with those who do not speak their language or accept their source of authority. In Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition, Gregory Koukl demonstrates how to artfully regain control of conversations, keeping them moving forward in constructive ways through thoughtful diplomacy. You’ll learn how to stop challengers in their tracks and how to turn the tables on questions or provocative statements. Most important, you’ll learn how to get people thinking about Jesus.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 1

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Giving up Sugar, Tasting God's Goodness

As a latchkey kid, Wendy Speake turned to sugar for comfort. Every Friday, she would pedal to the candy show and use her allowance to fill her bag with candy. And one day, when she was older and a mom of three young boys, she came to realize that she was still “pedaling” away from her stress and using sugar as comfort, instead of turning to Jesus. She was joyless, worn out, tired, and in need of a change. In this interview, Wendy will challenge Christians to take 40 days to focus on fasting from something they turn to instead of Jesus for comfort. She invited people to break free from a dependence on sugar and taste the goodness of God.

Author Wendy Speake smiling as she holds up her book "The 40-Day Social Media Fast"

Mrs. Wendy Speake

With a background in Hollywood as a trained actress, Wendy Speake ministers to women as a bible teacher by applying the power of drama, poetry and comedy to the study of Scripture and real-life application of biblical truths. She has co-authored two books with Amber Lia titled Triggers: Exchanging Parents’ Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses and their latest, Parenting Scripts: When What You’re Saying Isn’t Working, Say Something New. Wendy is also the co-author (with Kelli Stuart) of Life Creative: Inspiration for Today’s Renaissance Mom.

Cover image of the book "The 40-Day Sugar Fast"

The 40-Day Sugar Fast: Where Physical Detox Meets Spiritual Transformation

Welcome to the 40-Day Sugar Fast, a fast that begins with us giving Jesus our sugar and ends with Jesus giving us himself–the only thing that can ever truly satisfy our soul’s deep hunger. On this 40-day journey you’ll learn how to stop fixating on food and other things you use to fill the voids in life and instead fix your eyes on Christ. Anyone who runs to sugar for comfort or a reward, who eats mindlessly or out of boredom, who feels physically and spiritually lethargic, or who struggles with self-control will discover here not only freedom from their cravings but an entirely new appetite for the good things God has for us.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 2

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 2

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

Reconciling Faith and Science in a Medical Crisis

Dr. Lee Warren is a neurosurgeon who has faced many heavy challenges in his life – from serving in the Iraq War to removing deadly brain tumors to experiencing the loss of a teenage son. He’ll share about his difficult quest to find answers to some of life’s toughest questions, while holding onto his faith in God and the sure hope of heaven

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. W. Lee Warren

Dr. Lee Warren

W. Lee Warren, M.D., is a brain surgeon , inventor, Iraq War veteran, and author of I’ve Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon’s Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know, winner of the Christian Book Award®. His previous book, No Place to Hide, was included on the 2015 U.S. Air Force Chief of Staff’s Recommended Reading List. Dr. Warren has appeared on The 700 Club and the CBS Evening News, and his writings have been featured in Guideposts magazine. His Dr. Lee Warren Podcast, which is heard in more than 60 countries, helps listeners use the power of neuroscience, faith, and common sense to change their lives.

Cover image of Dr. Lee Warren's book "I've Seen the End of You"

I've Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon's Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know

This gripping inspirational memoir grapples with the tension between faith and science—and between death and hope—as a seasoned neurosurgeon faces insurmountable odds and grief both in the office and at home.

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 1

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 1

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage Part 1

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 1

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 1

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

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Newest Release - Episode 1: The Truth About Life!

In this episode, we will tackle tough questions like, “When does life begin?” and “What does the Bible
say about Life?” You’ll discover and understand the stages of pre-born life and that babies are more than
just a clump of cells!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!