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Experiencing a Fulfilled Marriage (Part 2 of 2)

Experiencing a Fulfilled Marriage (Part 2 of 2)

“Our marriage was totally dead!” In a dynamic message of marital restoration, Patricia Ashley shares her testimony of a painful five years with her husband, Vernon, and how the Lord worked a miracle in their hearts when they joined hands to pray for a friend. She encourages wives with practical ideas on how to employ biblical principles in their marriages. (Part 2 of 2)
Original Air Date: May 10, 1995

John Fuller: On the last episode of Focus on the Family, Patricia Ashley explained that her marriage was over.

Recap:

Patricia Ashley: I mean when I say it was dead, I mean… that I didn’t love my husband. I didn’t hate him. I wasn’t glad to see him come. I wasn’t glad to see him go. Yeah do y’all… that’s dead, huh?

Audience: (Laughs).

End of Recap

John: Today you’ll hear how Patricia’s marriage was not only saved, but how it began to thrive. And your host is Focus president Jim Daly. Thanks for joining us, I’m John Fuller.

Jim Daly: Yeah John, the last time we heard that Patricia’s marriage really was at that point of complete apathy. And you know, I’m sad to say, I’m sure a lot of people feel that way in their marriages right now. So, if you missed part one, I’d encourage you to ask for the CD or go get the download. Um, they’ll both have extra content that we just couldn’t fit into the time here on air.

John: Yeah, we’ve got details for you at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast or call 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY.

Jim: To recap part one, after five difficult years of marriage, Patricia and her husband became Christians. But that didn’t miraculously heal their relationship. They were still avoiding each other, even to the point of reading their Bibles in separate parts of the house. But then an emergency in a friend’s life led Patricia and Vernon to pray together. And when they said amen, they found that God had quickened their dead marriage, and they felt a spark. They were drawn together again. That’s amazing, but they still had issues to work on, and that’s what Patricia is going to detail today.

John: Yeah and she shares very honestly along the way. As you heard um, in the opening clip, her message is based on what the Bible has to say about marriage, and there are principles that Patricia began to apply in her relationship with Vernon. Here now is Patricia Ashley, sharing from her heart speaking to a women’s conference in Indian Wells, California on today’s episode of Focus on the Family.

Patricia: I like my daddy. And he’s just… When my daddy calls me, we literally, on the phone, laugh for about two minutes. I just be so glad to hear his voice. And he be so glad to hear mine, we just laugh.

Audience: (Laughs).

Patricia: Do you… do you hear what I’m saying? And my mother she… if she calls me, and if my father’s at home, she will say everything she’s got to say to me before she gives him the phone. Because she knows that once he and I start talking, it’s all over.

Patricia: But do you know what? I know, and God brought me to a place, as much as I love my father and enjoy him, and I think my father’s a great man. Even when my mother used to get on his nerve, and he used to get on her nerve. Even when I used to get upset with him about some of the things he did. To me, he was always a big man. In my sight, there was nothing he couldn’t do.

Patricia: And do you know what? I had to take all of that admiration, and I had to connect that to my husband. God had to begin to show me areas, not focused on his negatives, but focus on his positives. While he’s still performing the negatives. Come on now, you saw something in him. Start focusing on his positives, and start letting him know.

Patricia: And let me tell you something. When you compliment a man, and all of them are like this, even if they crazy.

Audience: (Laughs).

Patricia: All of ’em are like this. Giving them true, not flattery, but when you give your husband true compliments. And when you say true positive things to him, about him, it is like putting water on a plant. Do you all hear me? Even if they reject it. Even if they act like it didn’t move them. Believe me if you walk out the room and peek back at ’em…

Audience: (Laughs).

Patricia: They like it. That’s why our daughters are able to steal our husband’s heart. ‘Cause they get out up under the car while he’s changing it. And they lay there and watch him work on the car. Come on now. My daughter’s 20 years old and… and… and there’s nothing my husband won’t do for her. And they had that kind of relationship and I wondered how does she have his heart? She would sit up at the dinner table five years old. I learned from my five-year old daughter how to deal with my husband. She would sit up at the dinner table, and she wouldn’t even have to talk. She’d just point for what she wanted, he’d get it.

Audience: (Laughs).
Patricia: I said, “What is this?” I don’t have that kind of control. And I said, “I’m gonna watch her, and whatever she does, I’m gonna do.”

Audience: (Laughs).

Patricia: Do you understand what I’m saying? Do you… are you all listing ladies? I’m telling you how to experience fulfillment.

Patricia: When he’d be working on the car, she would go out there and lay up under the car or lay… sit down on the side of the car and talk to him. So I started going out there, sitting at the side of the car talking. And when he’d be out in the backyard cutting the grass, she’d be walking up and down the grass with him and talking to him. And guess what? I started walking up and down the grass, and I started talking to him. Come on down.

Patricia: And when he came home from work… I’m telling you how to do it ladies. When she… when he’d come home from work, she’d run to the door and then she did this until she left home. She’d run to the door and be so glad to see him. “How you doing daddy?” Give him a big hug, and just act like her day had just begun. And guess what ladies? Hey! Do you hear me? Come on now. I felt like this girl’s got his heart, I want it. And I’m not going to compete for it ’cause I want him to have a good relationship with her. But I believe his heart is big enough for me and her. And little by little. Now at first he was suspicious and he thought I was crazy. But I was a woman on a mission.

Audience: (Laughs).

Patricia: Do you hear me? Yes. That’s why marriages are falling apart today. Now I’m telling you. Listen, love, reciprocate.

Patricia: After a matter of time guess what started happening? Girl! Or as they say, “girlfriend.”

Audience: (Laughs).

Patricia: I started telling him all of the good things about him. Guess what? He started telling me good things about me. I mean, it took a while. I got to be honest with you, it took a while. But God had to test me. God said, “Are you doing this to please me? Oh, you just doing it to reap the benefits” I said, “God, if I got to stand before you to give an account, to give an account…” And we’re going to do that, ladies. If you’re married, you’re going to stand before God to give an account. If you’re going to stand before God to give an account for the kind of wife that you are, get your feelings healed.

Patricia: They are hurt, some of them. Set your affections on things above. You know what happens when you do that? You stop having expectations out of your mate, and you take the stress off of your marriage. And you free him up, ’cause you know what? If there’s something wrong with you, there’s probably something wrong with him. Or if there’s something wrong with him, there’s probably something wrong with you. ’cause you chose each other.

Patricia: Yeah and… and for the most part, we, as women can see good from our perspective. And we can just see what we’re enduring and what we’re going through. But when… if we were to look at some of our relationships from our husband’s perspective, and see the world through their eyes, and feel the world through their emotions, then we would see that they have as many needs as we do.

Patricia: And it’s a mutual thing. But we must come to a place, if we’re going to experience fulfillment is to… to release our expectations and say, “God, I don’t expect him to be sensitive to me, but I expect you to be sensitive through him to me. I don’t expect him to love me unconditionally, but I expect you to love me unconditionally through him.” But God, all of my expectations is in you.

Patricia: I expect you to teach him how to be sensitive to me, as the weaker vessel. I expect you to do it through him, to me. Now come on what have… what have you done? You’ve placed that weight on God. You’ve cast those cares on God. And guess what you do? You get out of your husband’s face and you get in the face of God. You stop talking and pulling on your husband, and you began to talk and pull on God. Come on now. So the thing is, what you must do is make a decision whether or not God is able. And you can know that he’s able because of who he is. And then you must know that God is for your marriage. He’s for the success of your marriage. Whether or not you chose him or not. God would desire to choose them for us, but most of us get ahead of a God. And God has to make the wrong one, the right one. Come on now.

Patricia: But He’s able. He can do anything. We want fulfillment in our marriages. (laughs) We’ve got to look at it God’s way. We got to leave and cleave. We can’t put our marriages asunder. And then we got to know what God’s purpose is for marriages. God’s purpose for marriage is that we have companionship. But now we must have companionship with God first, because the word in Amos 3:3 says, “Can two walk together except they agree?”

Patricia: We should be able to agree spiritually first. We should be able to agree emotionally, and we should be able to agree physically. And see, for the most part, we want to go into it agreeing physically, we are attracted physically. Like I hear my daughter said, “I like men with pretty teeth.” I’m like I said, “baby, you better like more than that. you better look for more than just pretty teeth.” Come on now. And I know that she is, but that’s just one of her things. We have those kinds of things.

Patricia: We had better know that God would have us to connect in the spirit realm first. That we would agree spiritually. And if there’s not spiritual agreement in your house, begin to ask God to give it to you. Because you know what? God loves your husband more than you do. Yes, he does. And he’s more concerned with him than you are. Ask God for spiritual agreement, God knows what it takes to bring it about.

John: You’re listening today to Patricia Ashley on Focus on the Family. And coming up next, she’ll be sharing what the Bible has to say about physical intimacy in the marriage. And just a reminder, you can get a CD of this presentation with additional content to listen to again, or to share with a friend, just call 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY. Donate as you can, and… um, we’ll send that to you as our thank you gift for being a part of the support team. You can also donate online and request that CD, focusonthefamily.com/broadcast. Let’s return now to Patricia Ashley.

Patricia: And then… if we’re going to experience a fulfilled marriage as it relates to companionship, our husbands must dwell with us according to knowledge in first Peter 3:7. “And then God intended for marriage, in order that it would be fulfilled, to accomplish enjoyment.”

Patricia: We should be able to experience gratification, delight, and pleasure in our mates. But one of the reasons we don’t always experience that is because of perversion. Remember we said that everything that God said was good, man perverted it. Now from my understanding of what I’ve read in the Bible, God gave us physical intimacy as a wedding gift. Do y’all hear what I’m saying? Now, I don’t know about some of you, but you try to give the best gifts that you can find. How many of you following me? In the mind of God, the best gift that he could give to a couple was physical intimacy. And it’s big… And you get the gift of children. It’s a gift that keep on giving. You get the gift of children as a result of physical intimacy. Now, it’s been so perverted.

Patricia: First of all, we perverted by opening the gift before time.

Audience: (Laughs).

Patricia: Yes we do. And you know you’ve done that. Slipped and opened a Christmas present for Christmas. And when it becomes Christmas, there’s no fun opening that thing up. You’ve taken all of the joy. There’s no rapture, an explosion of ecstasy. And so sometimes we can’t enjoy the gift because we’ve opened it before time. So what we have to do is we have to go back and say, “God, make this right in me. Purify me, first forgive me for defiling my relationship.” Ask God to take you back, and to sanctify that which you have defiled by lowering your moral standards and being promiscuous and fornicating before you got married. Just ask God to go back… cleanse me, forgive me, sanctify me, make me whole. And then God began to work. Some of us have been molested, and that’s why we don’t enjoy the gift. Come on now. Save and get footholds in our relationships, because we won’t respond sometimes intimately to our husbands.

Patricia: We tempt them to lust, we cause… we insight lust in them. Because we won’t respond to their needs. Sometimes we struggle. We trying to change these men, and create them, and mold them, and make them, and manipulate them, and you just end up frustrated. But God made him, and God is for your marriage. And he’s for your mate. He wants your husband to enjoy the marriage as much as he wants you to. Some of you just need to be more sensitive, and ask God to open up the… understanding of your eyes. But the key is, place all your expectations in the Lord, and know that he’s for the success of your marriage. Know that. Know that God wants us to be fruitful. Now God would have us to multiply. To have children. And ladies, if you don’t do anything else, ask God to give you his heart about having children. There is a spirit of murder in this country that hates babies.

Patricia: Now, if you’ve had an abortion, God is for you. He will heal you of the emotional, the spiritual, psychological trauma. He will forgive you. He will take away the guilt and the shame, and all that needs to be done. But we need to be committed to life. We need to start honoring women that are pregnant, and we must take a responsibility. We as women of God, especially some of you older women, the Bible… God’s goin’ get y’all. He said that the older women are supposed to teach the younger women. And they’re not doing it. The older women are to teach the younger women. You have a responsibility. You’re going to stand before God for not teaching your little women. You must go to younger women when you know they’re pregnant and you must say, “blessed is the fruit of your womb.” God has done a good thing in you, that he would trust you to nurture a life.

Patricia: We… nuh-uh, we got to do that. You got to go out of your way. I don’t care if she’s a stranger, go out and find that woman, and those babies in their wombs. Listen, I didn’t… When I get a chance, I’d bend over and talk to the baby in the womb. I said, “Baby, you are blessed. God has purpose and plan for your life. We are eagerly and… waiting for your birth with great expectation. You’re going to be a great woman or man of God.” Then I said, “My name is Pat.”

Audience: (Laughs).
Patricia: Yes, I do. Yes, I do. Then I tell the mother. I say, “Now when this baby born it’s goin’ recognize my voice.” Do you hear what I’m saying? It’s real, it’s that real to me. It’s that real. We must make a commitment to encourage women to be fruitful, and then become extended families. Women are not having babies because we live in a selfish and an ego centric society. We don’t want to make the necessary sacrifices. My mother had five of us and we were considered a small family. Do you understand me? We must get the heart of God since that [inaudible]… we gonna stand in front of him one day anyhow. Get his heart now, and ask God to forgive us for not encouraging women when they’re pregnant and overlooking them.

Patricia: We should celebrate those women. And when you get a chance, bless these women. And encourage them. God would have that… our marriage would accomplish, that… that our husbands, the… the marriage will be protected. Let me tell you something, whether your husband is saved or unsaved…

Patricia: Do you know? Whether he’s saved or unsaved, God can use him to protect you. Because if the truth were told, by each one of you… If you can think of something, things that your husband warned you of, relationships that your husband disapproved of, and some of your other girlfriends. As that relationship developed, you found that there were things in it that was just a dead end. You ended up hurt or betrayed. Or you ended up being used. Are you in debt… and he tried to rise up to protect you by saying, “You know what? There’s something wrong with her. I don’t know what it is, but I don’t feel good.”

Patricia: And even unsaved men… I have listened to things that Christian women have told me that they’re unsaved husbands told them, and I said to myself, “It couldn’t be closer to the gospel if he hadn’t read it out of the word.” Because God will sanctify him, and anoint him, and use him to protect you. Even if he’s unsaved. Because that’s what God intended for the marriage to accomplish.

Patricia: God intended mostly for the marriage to illustrate an example of Christ and the church. Christ has joined himself to the church eternally. Forever. Christ has said to the church, “I will never, no never, leave or forsake you.” And sometimes they say, “Marriage is like flies at a screen. You got those waiting to get out. And those waiting to get in.”

Audience: (Laughs).

Patricia: Some of us are waiting for excuses to abandon and abort our marriages. And we wait for an opportunity for our husbands to do what some of these folks tell us it’s okay to do. But if it was okay to divorce your husband because he was in founding adultery, then why do you deal with the guilt afterwards? Why do you deal with it?

Patricia: And you know you do. But let me tell you something… There is no way around the guilt, and guilt is an indicator. Just like you scream when somebody burn you with something hot, it’s an indication that there’s something wrong there. Guilt is an indication, and you have to deal with that guilt. And I have met married couples who’s now remarried… God has blessed them in a second relationship, but every last one of them that is living in the real blessings of God.

Patricia: You know why it is? Because they said that they came to a point where they submitted. And they began to realize that what it took to make the second marriage successful, the same amount of prey, I’m telling you now, the things that they were running from in that first marriage, they met in the second marriage. The things that they had to overcome in the first marriage, they were confronted to overcome. They had to still overcome those things. But now for those of you that have experienced that, and you’ve gone through it, guess what? Don’t keep that a secret.

Patricia: You should start investing into the marriages of other people. You should become men and women that’s committed to the success of other people’s marriage because you know how violent divorce is. You know how it’s a tear and you how painful it is. And you must have… God has restored you and, you are recovering in a second marriage. You have a responsibility to encourage young couples, and people whose marriages that you know are in trouble. And you know when you see folk with their marriages and you know what they look like. ‘Cause you know what you looked like. You know how you felt. You can listen to women, you can look at women and tell when they’re in pain. And when they’re going through. Come on now, this is tight. But I’m telling you what God say.

Patricia: Do you hear me? We have got to do this God… get in God’s face. Don’t take my word for it. Get it from him, ask God.

John: And with those wise words we come to the end of a two-part presentation from Patricia Ashley, who has shared very honestly how God restored her marriage when it felt completely dead. And the biblical principles that she employed.

Jim: What a testimony, John. Um… as we’ve said, Patricia and Vernon were able to celebrate over 45 years of a thriving marriage until his death in 2018. And that’s our goal, to help your marriage not just survive, but to thrive in Christ. And like we said last time, if you’re in an abusive relationship, it’s important that you get to a place of safety for yourself and your children. But keep praying for your spouse and for their healing. And if that’s your situation, please call us to talk to a counselor. It’s completely free thanks to our donors.

John: And the number is 800-A-FAMILY, (800) 232-6459. Uh, call us and request that one of our counselors give you a call back.

Jim: Uh, you know, um… The last time we aired this program, John, we heard from a listener who said, “When I heard your podcast, my marriage was at an all-time low. The speaker, Patricia, said her marriage was dead. And I thought, finally, someone who understands me. I learned so much about what God says about marriage, and am living my days with a better outlook, trying to apply these principles. I thank God for you, Focus on the Family.”

John: Oh, well…

Jim: Well, isn’t that good?

John: That is. And that’s just one of hundreds of calls and emails we received in response to this show.

Jim: That’s right. And our research shows that over the past year, we’ve helped over 100,000 couples throughout North America navigate and survive a major marital crisis. And almost 600,000 couples have built a stronger and more satisfying marriage. And… we expect those numbers to go up thanks to our four-day intensive experience called Hope Restored, where couples who are on the brink of divorce can find healing. And it has a success rate of over 80% when we talked to them two years later. That’s amazing. So, if Focus on the Family has touched your marriage, would you please consider making a donation? We operate off of donation, and a gift of 30 dollars will help us save one marriage. When you make a donation of any amount, we’d like to send you a CD of today’s program with Patricia Ashley. And that will include some extra content that you won’t want to miss. So, get in touch with us today.

John: Yeah, you can reach us when you call 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY. 800-232-6459, or donate online and request that CD at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast. And when you’re online with us, look for some web extra audio that we’ve posted. Uh, Patricia offers a little bit further explanation of a husband’s need for intimacy in marriage. And coming up next time on this broadcast, Stephen Arterburn offers advice for spiritual and emotional healing from difficult circumstances.
Teaser:

Stephen Arterburn: You have to experience both the sadness and the anger or the great disappointment, and you have to talk about it, and you have to open up about it, and admit it to yourself. And when you do that… when you’re talking about that reality, it just frees you.

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Have you ever wondered what a baby looked like in the womb? With today’s technology, Moms and Dads can see the baby’s heartbeat, facial expressions, and movements! You’ll find out why more women choose life once they hear their baby’s heartbeat and realize it’s a real living human!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 5: It’s Going to be Amazing!

After a couple has chosen life, hear the heartwarming stories of children that culture would have cast aside, yet are making tremendous impacts in their communities. Whether the diagnosis was adverse or the circumstances were difficult, these stories will inspire you to come along side of families who have chosen life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 6: Families Helping Families!

So, after all you’ve seen through the SeeLife ‘21 Episodic journey; what can you do now? We’ll share how you can partner with some amazing organizations that are making significant impacts in the pro-life movement! You want to Celebrate Life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 2

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Effective Habits to Embrace in Parenting

To be an effective parent, you must be a leader in your child’s life, guiding with a gentle hand and setting a solid example. Dr. Randy Schroeder provides the insight you need to be a leader-parent. As he explores the foundational Rs—relationship, routines, responsibilities, and rules—you’ll better understand the role you play in your child’s life. You’ll learn great phrases to employ such as “Either/Or/You Decide” and “When You/Then You”. While there is no perfect parent, this nuts-and-bolts material will equip you to lead your child in a loving, confident manner.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder has spent more than four decades writing, counseling, speaking, and teaching. For nearly 25 years, he was Vice President of Student Personnel Services, Dean of Students, and a professor of pastoral counseling at Concordia Theological Seminary in Fort Wayne, Ind. He’s also led a successful counseling practice helping individuals, couples, and families to thrive in their lives and relationships.

Cover image of Dr. Randall Schroeder's book "Simple Habits for Effective Parenting"

Simple Habits for Effective Parenting

Effective parenting is now within your grasp! With this inspiring how-to comprehensive book, achieve extraordinary results in raising a child to be self-assured, self-reliant, and responsible! You will be able to successfully lead and lovingly encourage your child toward a Godly life!

The Spiritual Battle for Your Marriage

God designed marriage to reflect His love to the world; and because of this, the enemy wants to destroy God’s beautiful design. Based on his book, Defending Your Marriage, Dr. Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff share about the reality of spiritual warfare against marriages, and how to combat the enemy’s lies with the truth of God. Couples will be encouraged that they’re not alone in the fight for a godly marriage and better equipped to be a shining example for the world around them.

Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff Cropped

Dr. Tim and Mrs. Noreen Muehlhoff

Dr. Tim Muehlhoff is a professor of communication at Biola University in La Mirada, California where he teaches classes in family communication, interpersonal communication, apologetics, gender, and conflict resolution.  Tim and his wife, Noreen, are both on staff with Biola’s Center for Marriage and Relationships  where he is a co-host of The Art of Relationship podcast. 

Defending Your Marriage

Is your marriage under attack? Sometimes it can feel like the world is trying to tear your marriage apart. Internal conflicts or external pressures might make you wonder if something sinister is going on. How can you tell if you’re facing spiritual opposition? And what can you do about it? Tim Muehlhoff provides a straightforward resource for protecting your marriage from the threats of the evil one. He looks at what Scripture says about spiritual warfare and how our everyday struggles have deeper spiritual realities. And he provides practical steps for guarding our marriages with the whole armor of God.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 1

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 2

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 2

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage - Part 2

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 2

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Embracing Your Role as a Spouse

As a spouse, you have three roles to play—a friend, a partner, and a lover. On this one-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Pastor Kevin A. Thompson explores those different roles and challenges you to live them out by investing emotionally, physically, and mentally in your relationship. As friends, he suggests we learn to play and laugh together. As partners, he equips us with solid ways to handle conflict and communication. As lovers, he offers some thoughts on how to bring back the sizzle. He shares five keys to saving your marriage: humility, respect, mercy, communication, and resilience. You’ll be encouraged to intentionally invest in your marriage.

Headshot of Kevin Thompson

Pastor Kevin Thompson

Kevin A. Thompson (MDiv, Beeson Divinity School) is lead pastor at Community Bible Church, a growing multi-site church with four locations in western Arkansas. Every year he meets with nearly one hundred couples with a range of needs, from pre-marital counseling to navigating the most serious betrayals. A marriage and parenting conference speaker, he and his wife, Jenny, have two children and live in Fort Smith, Arkansas. He blogs at kevinathompson.com.

Cover image of Kevin Thompson's book "Friends, Partners & Lovers"

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

With engaging stories and clear, simple language, pastor Kevin Thompson shows how to live out three distinct roles in marraige. Using solid biblical principles, he helps you and your spouse grow your friendship, be supportive partners through the good times and the bad, and develop a healthy and satisfying sex life.

Sharing Your Faith with Grace and Purpose

You can confidently and lovingly share your faith—you just need to learn some new tactics to do so! In this Focus on the Family Daily Broadcast, apologist Greg Koukl outlines the “Columbo” tactic of asking questions, the “self-defeating argument” tactic to find holes in your opponent’s arguments, and other specific methods for engaging in faith-building conversations with others. Greg pulls from his over 30 years of experience debating atheists and agnostics to help you share your faith with grace and truth.

Mr. Greg Koukl

Greg Koukl is a writer, public speaker and talk show host who’s spent 30 years advocating for and defending the Christian worldview. Greg has written or contributed to 15 books, including The Story of RealityTactics, and Precious Unborn Human Persons. Greg has published nearly 230 articles and has spoken on 80 college and university campuses in the U.S. and abroad.

Tactics front cover

Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition: A Game Plan for Discussing Your Christian Convictions

In a world increasingly indifferent to Christian truth, followers of Christ need to be equipped to communicate with those who do not speak their language or accept their source of authority. In Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition, Gregory Koukl demonstrates how to artfully regain control of conversations, keeping them moving forward in constructive ways through thoughtful diplomacy. You’ll learn how to stop challengers in their tracks and how to turn the tables on questions or provocative statements. Most important, you’ll learn how to get people thinking about Jesus.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 1

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Giving up Sugar, Tasting God's Goodness

As a latchkey kid, Wendy Speake turned to sugar for comfort. Every Friday, she would pedal to the candy show and use her allowance to fill her bag with candy. And one day, when she was older and a mom of three young boys, she came to realize that she was still “pedaling” away from her stress and using sugar as comfort, instead of turning to Jesus. She was joyless, worn out, tired, and in need of a change. In this interview, Wendy will challenge Christians to take 40 days to focus on fasting from something they turn to instead of Jesus for comfort. She invited people to break free from a dependence on sugar and taste the goodness of God.

Author Wendy Speake smiling as she holds up her book "The 40-Day Social Media Fast"

Mrs. Wendy Speake

With a background in Hollywood as a trained actress, Wendy Speake ministers to women as a bible teacher by applying the power of drama, poetry and comedy to the study of Scripture and real-life application of biblical truths. She has co-authored two books with Amber Lia titled Triggers: Exchanging Parents’ Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses and their latest, Parenting Scripts: When What You’re Saying Isn’t Working, Say Something New. Wendy is also the co-author (with Kelli Stuart) of Life Creative: Inspiration for Today’s Renaissance Mom.

Cover image of the book "The 40-Day Sugar Fast"

The 40-Day Sugar Fast: Where Physical Detox Meets Spiritual Transformation

Welcome to the 40-Day Sugar Fast, a fast that begins with us giving Jesus our sugar and ends with Jesus giving us himself–the only thing that can ever truly satisfy our soul’s deep hunger. On this 40-day journey you’ll learn how to stop fixating on food and other things you use to fill the voids in life and instead fix your eyes on Christ. Anyone who runs to sugar for comfort or a reward, who eats mindlessly or out of boredom, who feels physically and spiritually lethargic, or who struggles with self-control will discover here not only freedom from their cravings but an entirely new appetite for the good things God has for us.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 2

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 2

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

Reconciling Faith and Science in a Medical Crisis

Dr. Lee Warren is a neurosurgeon who has faced many heavy challenges in his life – from serving in the Iraq War to removing deadly brain tumors to experiencing the loss of a teenage son. He’ll share about his difficult quest to find answers to some of life’s toughest questions, while holding onto his faith in God and the sure hope of heaven

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. W. Lee Warren

Dr. Lee Warren

W. Lee Warren, M.D., is a brain surgeon , inventor, Iraq War veteran, and author of I’ve Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon’s Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know, winner of the Christian Book Award®. His previous book, No Place to Hide, was included on the 2015 U.S. Air Force Chief of Staff’s Recommended Reading List. Dr. Warren has appeared on The 700 Club and the CBS Evening News, and his writings have been featured in Guideposts magazine. His Dr. Lee Warren Podcast, which is heard in more than 60 countries, helps listeners use the power of neuroscience, faith, and common sense to change their lives.

Cover image of Dr. Lee Warren's book "I've Seen the End of You"

I've Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon's Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know

This gripping inspirational memoir grapples with the tension between faith and science—and between death and hope—as a seasoned neurosurgeon faces insurmountable odds and grief both in the office and at home.

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 1

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 1

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage Part 1

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 1

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 1

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 1: The Truth About Life!

In this episode, we will tackle tough questions like, “When does life begin?” and “What does the Bible
say about Life?” You’ll discover and understand the stages of pre-born life and that babies are more than
just a clump of cells!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!