Custom CSS of Section contains Conditional Preview for See Life Campaign Elements

Focus on the Family Broadcast

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on pinterest
Share on email
Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on pinterest
Share on email

What You Can Learn From the Bible’s Couples (Part 2 of 2)

What You Can Learn From the Bible’s Couples (Part 2 of 2)

Psychologist and author Dr. David Clarke shares valuable marriage lessons we can learn from famous couples in the Bible. (Part 2 of 2)

Original Air Date: March 19, 2015

Opening:

Call-to-Action:

Jim Daly: Hello, this is Jim Daly. Many of you have been praying for our upcoming Alive from New York event in Times Square, scheduled this Saturday, May 4th. We’re excited for what God is going to do. It’s been a bumpy road getting permits and all the things behind the scenes taken care of. In fact, we’ve had resistance from the companies that own the big digital screens in Times Square. None of the owners will lease us space – not one. They wanna silence our pro-life message. They wanna silence you. Clear Channel has four screens in Times Square, but they say preborn babies are “too political.” What’s curious is they have leased the same space to Planned Parenthood. Silvercast, another company, told us they had space for the time we needed it, but when they learned more about us, their screen suddenly became unavailable. We asked for date options in the future, and all we heard was crickets. They never returned our phone calls or emails. ABC said we could only show a static image, but no babies. Welcome to 2019 where socially conservative Christians are openly and brazenly discriminated against for a simple message: we believe life is the better choice. Here’s the good news: we’re bringing in our own big screens that will be placed throughout Times Square so people can see the babies. Please contact these companies. Let ‘em know you’re dissatisfied with their discrimination against Christians. ABC, Clear Channel Communications, and Silvercast. Let them know how disappointed you are. Go to focusonthefamily.com/broadcast to find the contact information for each company. Do it respectfully, lovingly, kindly, but point out the error of their decision. Thank you so much and pray for May 4th.

End of Call-to-Action

Excerpt:

David Clarke: In our society, marriage is like an appliance. It’s not gonna take you, you know, 50-60 years. We’re past that now and that’s even filtered into the Christian community. So, it’s okay. Oh, it’s regrettable. Gosh, I feel bad, but I need to leave you for someone else and I’m young enough and I want to have a different life. That’s just sinful. The Bible says to husbands to love your wives as Christ loved the church. That’s the instruction. That’s the command. Anything less than that would place you in sin. Every man I’ve ever heard say “I don’t love you anymore” and every woman is involved in some area of secret sin—every single one, 100 percent.

End of Excerpt

John Fuller: Well, kind of an outrageous statement from Dr. David Clarke and he’s back with us again today on Focus on the Family. Your host is Focus president and author, Jim Daly. I’m John Fuller. Jim, unpacking the word “outrageous” was important last time, ‘cause I tend to think of it as a little bit of a negative. But our guest suggested no, there are a lot of positive things to being kind of over the top in a—

Jim: Well—

John: –a marriage.

Jim: –yeah and I love Dr. David Clarke, his book, The Top 10 Most Outrageous Couples of the Bible. You usually don’t apply that adjective to couples in the Bible, ‘cause we … we want to be honoring and all that. But Dr. Clarke has really unpacked, when you look especially at those Old Testaments characters, just how much they taught us about marriage and parenting, because of, many times because of the wrong way they did it. And I thought last time was fascinating to talk about Adam and Eve in that context or Abraham and Sarah and right down the line. So, we’re gonna talk more today about those fascinating comparisons, about an ancient culture, but how much of their attitude and personalities actually still drive[s] us today. Dr. Clarke, welcome back to Focus.

Body:

David: Great to be here.

Jim: Now you say in the Outrageous book here, The Top 10 Most Outrageous Couples of the Bible, there’s good outrageous and bad outrageous. What are they? How do we identify when we’re acting out of bad “outrageousness?”

David: Bad outrageousness is basically sin, sinful choices, terrible sinful choices. I’m gonna work too much at my job. I’m gonna kinda flirt with my secretary. I’m going to spend too much time at the gym. I think I can handle my alcohol. I think I’m gonna play favorites and pick one of my kids and prefer them over the other kids. That is outrageously bad behavior.

Jim: Now those are all things that many human beings encounter, but they don’t say it to themselves quite like that.

David: Well, no; it’s all rationalized. We are brilliant at rationalizing all of our sin. I had client after client, every client I see, they have a case for what they’re doing wrong. My job is to explode that case, using the Bible and what God would say. No, that’s just rationalization. This is wrong. Who is it hurting? It’s hurting you; it’s hurting other people. “Who’s the doctor in this room?” I’ll often say (Laughter) I’m here to help you. But people don’t want to get past denial, to “I’m really making bad choices.”

Jim: What causes this as human beings to be so irrational? Let me … you know, let me ask it a little closer to the heart. We as Christians, what causes that irrationality in us, that we don’t see truth?

David: Sin nature and we’re all born with that. It will be with us all the way until we die, until Christ returns, if we know Christ personally, put our faith in Him. So, that’s … we’ll always have that bent, always there. And bottom line is, I want to do what I want to do.

And Satan is a master at what he does. He’s the best. We all have weaknesses, born with certain tendencies in certain areas. We mentioned the trees last time. Everybody’s got a tree or two that they’re prone to go toward. Satan’s gonna make sure every day of your life or at certain key points when you’re most weak, to have that tree right in front of your face. And it’s gonna be tough to resist if you’re not prepared for that.

Jim: How do we do a better job knowing reality? Knowing who we are, that we have sin in our hearts. I’m sure one of the ways is to understand that you are a sinner, that I am a sinner, and I’m saved by grace. That I can’t live perfectly. How do we really grab a hold of that?

David: We have to have other people involved, and I think the spouse is critically important. Let’s talk about reality here, and here are my trees. Here are the weaknesses I have. Boom. And the other persons not gonna say, “Well I don’t have any trees, I’ll try to help you.” No, everybody has weaknesses and some trees they’re gonna go to. So, if you don’t voice it, you’re gonna go to the tree. Matter of time.

Jim: In that context, it’s fascinating to me when we look at the Pharisees and the Sadducees, because they had orchards, as you’re describing them. They were religiously motivated. Jesus did not tolerate their attitude very well. He thought they were empty tombs, as He called them. In some ways today, it feels like, whether it’s in our marriage or our parenting or just dealing with the culture, many ways I feel like we’re repeating those attitudes of the Pharisees. But we never talk about it as a community. We feel like we’ve learned those lessons. Is that still alive and well in us?

David: Oh, boy, is it ever. And it’s the rare pastor who has the guts to really, from the pulpit, speak honestly. I know some wonderful ones that do that, but we hate to offend people. Somehow we’ve gotten into the habit of, gosh, we’d hate to offend people. Christ offended everyone, so much so that they killed Him. He was speaking truth. And it’s only through offense that people really change. I’m a pretty offensive guy in my therapy office. I can be a lot of fun, but in my therapy office, in my seminars, I’m offensive, as I’m speaking truth, rattling people, hoping that I can win them over to the truth. If I’m nice and it’s all just funny, then nobody changes. You have to hit ‘em right in the guts and then they’ll change.

Jim: In your book, The Top 10 Most Outrageous Couples of the Bible, last time we talked about Adam and Eve, which is a great place to start and marriage and who’s in control? I mean, that’s a good thing. If you missed that last time, download that or get the CD and John, we’ll have details at the end of the program.

Jim: We also talked about Abraham and Sarah and, you know, just what they modeled in their marriage and then Isaac and Rebecca and the parenting disaster that they gave us an example of. This time, let’s talk about selfishness in marriage. I’ve come to the conclusion — I’d love your response to this–God set it up this way, one man, one woman for a lifetime, because He wants to grind out the selfishness in us. I mean, it’s hard to be selfish in a marriage that’s healthy. You’ve got to give of yourself every day and it just doesn’t come naturally.

David: Yeah, I want what I want. And I think and this is the sin nature and Satan pushing it and culture obviously, me, me, me and yes, again, me. If I can get my needs met, then I’ll be really happy and so will you. Well, that’s not true. If I focus on Sandy and I meet her need and I love on her and I go out of my way, when she knows it’s hard for me to do so, boom! She feels loved and it will all come back to me. That’s secondary, but she’ll love me like nobody’s business ‘cause I’ve loved her first.

Jim: Do you have a negative side of that that you’ve learned in your marriage? What was the story that you have that you didn’t do this so well?

David: Oh, it … we’ve had this battle over chores for a long time. (Laughter) And I blame my mother frankly, who’s listening now, I’m sure. She spoiled me. I was raised in a home where I didn’t have to do that much. My mom did everything for me. I love her and she was so good to me. I married Sandy, thinkin’ that it would be the same!

And so I wasn’t doing many chores. I thought that Sandy would enjoy doin’ those chores to meet my need. Well, she came from a home, I wouldn’t say “slave labor,” but they all had their jobs. (Laughter) She and Eric, her brother had their jobs. And I visited their home. I thought, wow, this is like a penitentiary. These people, they’re working hard, making license plates. So, Sandy had to sit me down and say, “Look big boy, you’re in seminary, great. I’ve just had a baby, your baby.” Whenever they say it’s your baby, you know you’re in trouble. Anyway, “Your baby and I need help. And I was a hypocrite, ‘cause I was teaching things that weren’t even true. So, I had to really start working and doing the toilets. And now I’ve … Sandy was bringin’ it though. She just stopped doing the dishes. One day, not a word, just stopped doing the dishwasher and all the dishes.

David: After a couple days, I thought, I don’t think she’s doin’ this anymore. (Laughter) So, it becomes my job! (Laughter)

John: We’re gonna hear from some husbands who are just really … really not so grateful for this—

Jim: I can appreciate that–

John: –conversation.

Jim: –that Sandy used her resources and you know, let the dishes there for you to do.

David: Well, she’s smart. It was pretty clear. I thought, wow; I think she had asked me a few times before, if memory serves (Laughing) and I really hadn’t come through. I thought, hey, how about every other meal? No, no, she’s cooking every meal for me in the evening. She’s a wonderful cook, so it made sense to her that I take care of everything else. You know what? She’s right.

Jim: What are some selfish things that wives can do, too? I mean, we’re being funny with the husbands and our inability to see the dirty dishes through the forest, I guess. But what do wives do?

David: Wives spend too much time cleaning the home. The home is very important to them and even back in Old Testament days, the tent was critically important, all right, the caravan, whatever. So, they want to get all those jobs done before they have time with the husband. Guess what? They are too tired and fatigued and they’re not makin’ the man the priority. I’ve told a woman this last week. You’re spending too much time. You want to get those jobs done, ‘cause they’re all in your head. Let’s try this. Let’s spend a half an hour with your husband helping, getting some of the jobs done. Then you have your couple talk time while you’re still fresh. After that, you both will complete the chores.

She didn’t like the idea, “‘Cause I like to have it all done.” I said, “But let’s look at the pattern here. You’re too tired. You’re not having couple talk times. You’re not making love. You’re too tired, because of those dumb jobs you’re doing. Those are not as important as your husband.” That’s hard for a woman. I don’t care about the jobs. I can step over engine parts, pizza boxes on the way to Sandy. [It] doesn’t bother me at all. (Laughter) Sandy can’t do that. But I think with a shift … now she needs to know those jobs are gonna get done and my husband’s gonna help me do those jobs.

Jim: Now you might be hitting a 90 percent problem in households today right here with this one.

David: Yeah, boy.

Jim: So, let’s slow down a little and unpack this. I mean, basically you’re saying when it comes to intimacy, physical intimacy, husbands could care less what the house looks like. I want your attention.

David: I don’t need the bed made. I don’t need anything except my wife and the bedroom. All I need.

Jim: Now the difficulty is, your wives really need to know that these other priorities are going to get done. That’s significant what you just said there.

David: It is.

Jim: How do we communicate in such a way to make everybody happy?

David: Well, we have to have a lot of honest communication and I think most ladies would say, “You know what? I can live with that. Work with me. There are certain jobs I need to have done before we have our talk time and before we are physically intimate. There’s certain major things, ‘cause it’ll be in my head during our time and you don’t want that to happen.” Yes, that’s right.” “So, let’s get a few of these jobs done,” again, working as a team. The man’s not hanging out in the bedroom, looking at the watch going, “Are you done with those chores yet? I’m in here. (Laughter) I thought we had an agreement.” No.

John: He might be saying that but nothing’s going to happen beyond that, is it?

Jim: You haven’t brushed your teeth yet? (Laughter)

David: He is right there with her, cleaning the dishes up, puttin’ the kids to bed, whatever you’ve agreed on before that time, you take care of that and then we can segue into the bedroom. And then the one … there’s some minor jobs yet to be done and she knows, he’s gonna help me with those, too. That’s gonna lead to a wonderful time together.

Jim: I’m tellin’ you, it feels like this advice right here may have just saved couples. (Laughter) I mean, this is good. I mean, this is really where it’s at. How does that relate to that Old Testament story though? Where’s that couple that had a similar situation like this one, the domestic chores and how to manage all that?

David: Yeah, wh … who would that fit with? I would … I’m thinking of Jacob and his two wives. Okay, first problem, two wives (Laughter), but that’s another story. Don’t do that. But Jacob was extremely passive and he was an “outside the tent” guy. He was extremely passive at home and his wives, Rachel and Leah were doing everything and they were fighting each other, terribly disrespectful. He was not involved there, absolute wimp. And they would …

Jim: Okay, you’re describing a lot of husbands that leave the frustration of the home to—

David: Yeah.

Jim: –to their wives.

David: I did that the first 10 years of my marriage, no question about it. I really let Sandy take care of the home. We were both raised in these very conservative traditional homes, where the woman’s job was to take care of all those things. You know what? That’s not true. The truth is, it’s really my job, if I’m the leader, I’m the leader of everything. That’s my job! And so, we’re working together, but they’re really our jobs and I gotta make sure they get done–a total mind shift I had to go through. I thought those were Sandy’s jobs. Well, they’re really not.

Jim: What about when it comes to that area of fatigue? I remember when we had young kids particularly, Trent and Troy when they were in single digits. And I would come home and Jean was so tired, she would say, “Okay, you’re up.” And I just got through the door. I just solved a bunch of adult problems, running an organization, then get home and have her say, “Okay, I’m done. I’m checkin’ out.” And I’d be goin’, “Wait a minute. Can I just change my clothes;’ can I …?”

David: I had a hard day, too, right.

Jim: Yeah, I called it the Gordian Knot, ‘cause there didn’t seem to be a way to undo this knot.

John: Uh-hm, yeah.

Jim: But how does a couple that’s living in that space, where the demand of the kids is quite high, knowing that, you know, I’m sure their mom and dad, when they tell their adult children, “It’ll get better” means nothing. (Laughter) ‘Cause, I mean, no, I’m drowning right now and I hate my husband and I … he’s not helping me and I’m not sure we’re gonna make it in our marriage because of this.” What do they do?

David: We have to up the teamwork. That lady knows that … if she knows that the man is doing his share of the chores, he’s already done some this morning, he’s maybe picked a kid up or two. And when he gets home, he’s gonna continue to help with the chores. So, it’s not one and the other or doing things separately. We’re doing this together.

Sandy would … used to do the same thing. Now with small kids and I just had to … I paced myself during the day and I was prepared to hear that, “Your turn, buddy; your children need you.” And she was just exhausted and she’s a great mom. I would say, “You know what? I’m up; batter up. Let me just change my clothes.”

In fact, the kids can be in the room, ‘cause they were … “Yeah, fine, let me go in the room with you.” Fine. So, I would just take over. She would leave for a half an hour or go to another part of the room, lock herself in just to kind of decompress. She only needed like 20 or 30 minutes. That’s not bad and then she would kind of rejoin and we would do things together, but always together, together, together, together.

Jim: How do us men, how do we get that in our head that it is our role as the leader of the home to not just assume that … I’m guilty of that, too. “Jean, man, I’m busy. You’re the CEO of the house,” I’ve said those words, I mean not hopefully, a long time ago (Laughter). But I mean, I … yeah, how do we break that mind-set to say, “Okay, I’ve got to pitch in. I’ve got to do my job and do it with joy.” The other mistake and I’ve made it is, you know, I’ve done the dishes and I’ve got the sourest look on my face, which earns me absolutely zero credit.

David: It’s almost worse!

Jim: Talk about the stupid male (Laughter).

David: I’ve done that, too. Look, I did that job for ya!

Jim: Did that count for anything?

David: I’d say a couple things. First the man has to realize what we’re doing is not working, all right. That’s insanity. We’re doing the same thing expecting different results. My wife is not close to me. We’re really kinda struggling here. She seems unhappy much of the time.

And then they have to grasp, what it took me 10 years to grasp, we are servant leaders. Leadership as Christ showed it is, I am gonna meet your needs. I’m gonna love you. I’m gonna do things that are good for you. I’m gonna die for you on the cross. I’m gonna sacrifice Myself. And when you do that with your wife, she will get energized. She’ll … the fatigue kinda melts away ‘cause she knows you’re crazy about her and you’re involved in helping her and then, it’s kinda balanced and you have more energy for each other, after the kids have wrung you dry.

Jim: Do you ever say to a couple give it 30 days and come back and tell me how it worked? Are you that confident?

David: I am. I’m that … if you’ll do, not just what I say, but the Bible is teaching you to do, it works every time. But they don’t quite believe that, ‘cause they’re not quite sure. But when they do it, of course, it works.

Jim: Okay, the wimp and the witch, what in the world are you talkin’ about?

David: This is the passive husband. Jacob is the poster husband for this. He was just absolutely wimpy and passive at home. His two wives ran the show, Rachel and Leah. They were bitter. They were resentful. They had this terrible competition and they ran his life. When he got back from taking care of the sheep and the goats and all the stuff he was doing and he was very successful in the world, when he got home, he was just a wimp and they ordered him around. They had no respect for him. They were the witches.

Jim: Hm and how does a guy break that habit?

David: You have to realize, this … you are not doing what God wants you to do. And no man, we all want to be manly men, you know. And you have to realize, I’m a pansy; I’m a wimp. And that’s what’s causing my wife’s disrespect. It’s a one-to-one correlation. Men will complain to me in my office, “Well, my wife doesn’t treat me with respect.” I’ll say, “No, duh; you’re a wimp.”

I told one guy this and he was like a … he was a motorcycle rider, had a big beard and he was like 300 pounds. I said, “You’re a wimp.” (Laughter) And he kinda edged forward on the couch. I said, ‘Don’t you dare.” (Laughter) I said, “I’m trying to help you.” His wife was sittin’ there. Often I’ll see a man separately so I can really nail him so the wife isn’t listening. But I said, “You are a good man and you are … you’re a manly man, but not at home. Ask your wife what she needs to see you as a leader. She knows exactly what’s on that list. Ask her. She’ll tell you.”

John: What kind of things was he so passive about that he was a wimp in the home?

David: [He] wasn’t doin’ the chores. It was the old, “I work hard all day” and he was successful. “And when I get home,” very traditional home, “I think it’s your job to do all those things.” Bad idea. Financially, she took care of all the finances. She was really raising the kids. If there was gonna be a vacation, she would organize the whole thing and even pack the car. I said to her, “You should just get in the car and drive off, because he shouldn’t be allowed to go.”

Jim: But you’re sayin’ somethin’ important there and that is, a lot of men think about being a wimp as not being the control person. That’s not what you’re saying.

David: Uh-uh.

Jim: You don’t step in and say, “Okay, I’m not gonna be a wimp” and you walk through the front door. “Okay, get over here. Stand over … do your homework. Make sure this gets …” That’s not what you’re talkin’ about.

David: Yeah, no.

Jim: Not being a wimp in a Christian context in the home means participation.

David: Right, I’m gonna roll up my sleeves. What can I do for you? What’s on that list? Now we have a basic list, Sandy and I, that I know these are my jobs and she shouldn’t have to ask me. I’m a man; I’ll take care of them and they’re posted most of the time. But I want to ask her every day to show that I’m a real leader sacrificially, “What can I do for you today?”

John: Jim, there are some couples, even some here at Focus who have the situation where the wife is … she likes to control everything. And so, the guy just says, “Yeah, well, whatever.”

David: Give me their names. I want to talk to those ladies.

John: Well, I … what can they do? Yeah, we talked about selfishness in husbands and in wives. It feels like that’s being a little selfish on the wife’s part and it doesn’t give him room to step up and be the leader.

David: It’s a very good point, John. I’ve seen those cases, too. The lady really is used to that control and actually likes it. I have to convince her, this is not God’s plan for you. It’s not being submissive. You’re not respecting your husband and it’s not working in terms of your husband’s behavior towards you.

Let’s talk about what’s going on in the marriage. And then she starts to see, okay, this … it’s your control that’s causing this problem. But then she’ll say, “Yeah, but he’s not gonna lead. I have to lead, because he won’t.” I say, “Great, we’re gonna change that starting right now. We’re gonna work together with God’s help. He’s gonna start leading.” And the truth is, it’s gonna be hard for her to step out of that role, to leave the wheel. Oh, I like it here. But it’s not working. And she’ll be so relieved when he starts leading, that she’ll start to see the benefit. But she has to be called on it.

Jim: Well, I love that. In many ways, you’re talking about the end game here, which is that power of commitment. How do we make that commitment? ‘Cause it seems that when we do it on our own power, it’s goin’ nowhere, just frustration and it doesn’t end in a good place. How do we find that power of commitment and do it well?

David: Every step of the way, we’re gonna bathe this in prayer. We’re gonna involve God in the discussion. So, when we’re talking, Sandy and I, or Betty and Bob are talking, we’re gonna start with God. What does God say in the Bible? And you can get that from The 10 Most Outrageous Couples Book, ‘cause that’s all Bible-based. And now we’re gonna talk about, with God’s help, we’re gonna have prayers. God, help us do this. We know it’s what You want us to do. This … that’s the power source. God, reveal to us what’s gonna stop us. It’s always blocks, always obstacles in the way from my past, your past, our relationship. What are we gonna have to do to get through, so we can really get where we want to go?

Jim: Dr. Clarke, one of the most often mentioned things here at Focus when people write or call or e-mail us for help, is I just feel like I no longer love my spouse. We have fallen out of love and therefore, we’re getting a divorce. That should not be the vocabulary of the Christian marriage, should it?

David: It should not be. That is a sinful statement. Now if they can admit that and they can further figure out why that happened. Culture says, it’s going to happen. Nothin’ you can do about it and it’s probably your partner’s fault and you need to find somebody new anyway. God says, talk about the honest reasons why this has happened. If I don’t love you anymore, that’s on me. That’s not on you. I’ve not been honest with you. I’m involved in some area of sin. I’m drifting away from you. I’m drifting from God. That my fault.

Jim: Why are those messages coming from the culture so much more powerful that our relationship with Christ?

David: Boy, ‘cause Satan is so good at what he does. If you analyze these sitcoms, on a research basis as a Christian psychologist and the movies, it’s all there–the lack of commitment and the lack of leadership. I mean, it’s really satanic. They don’t know; they’re just tools. They don’t even know what they’re doing, I don’t think, but Satan knows what he’s doing. He’s using them and that’s where he breaks us down. There’s no commitment, there is no trust, you’re not gonna last.

Love does not last, our culture screams that. That’s why you should have four, five, six, 10 partners over a lifetime until you die. ‘Cause when you die, nothing else happens. That’s what culture believes. Not true.

Jim: Let’s end on a high note though. You talk about marriage heroes. What are you getting at to find a marriage hero?

David: Boy, let’s look at the people in my book and of course, they’re in the Bible, that really did an outstanding job. Joseph and Mary come to mind. Oh, my goodness. The Proverbs 31 wife and her husband. There was a wonderful marriage there. She had a life outside the home. They were making decisions. Solomon and Shulameth in the Song of Songs, wow. These were heroes.

Abraham and Sarah had some great things. Adam and Eve had some great things. The common denominator is, we’re gonna do it God’s way. God’s at the center and we’re gonna do it His way and we’re gonna stay in this relationship no matter what. Jacob and Leah and Rachel, terrible marriages, but they didn’t quit. There was no quit in them. They just kept going and God wants that.

Jim: And that’s what we need to do today. I think especially in the culture, as you know, the culture continues to strive and to grow darker and darker toward those things that God has put in our heart, like marriage, the redefinition of marriage now that the culture is trying to redefine that and is succeeding. We need, in the Christian community, [to] step up and to be that salt and light in our marriages and in our families, because I think as it grows darker in the culture, Dr. Clarke, the witness of the church will grow brighter. And people who are wanting more out of life hopefully, will see something in our marriages and in our families that is so compelling that they’ll even ask, what is it that you have that I don’t have? Something’s there. Wouldn’t that be a great situation?

David: Boy, you’re not kidding. And I think that’s exactly what can happen. And they’ll think, you know what, this is actually better than what Satan is offering or the world offers me. It’s infinitely better. Satan offers a life of misery and shame and if you don’t trust Jesus, going to hell. His way never works. It seems to work temporarily, because of the pleasure but uh, ultimately disaster.

Closing:

John: What a great two-day conversation with Dr. David Clarke on Focus on the Family talking about his book, The Top 10 Most Outrageous Couples of The Bible and How Their Stories Can Revolutionize Your Marriage.

Jim: And that was such a great conversation, John, and I hope our listeners will contact us about getting Dr. Clarke’s book. It’s full of Biblical teaching and real-life counseling tips and the kind of humor that David has shared with us these past two days. I know you and your spouse are going to enjoy going through this book together, or maybe you want to get a copy for another couple or small group at your church. Either way, this is a wonderful resource, and I’d really like to put this resource into your hands. If you can send a donation of any amount to Focus on the Family today, we will gladly give you a complimentary copy of The Top 10 Most Outrageous Couples of The Bible. And that’s our way of saying thank you. You can send a one-time, or a monthly pledge to Focus. It’s really gonna help us look forward in our financial planning for the rest of the year. Focus is listener supported so the engine sits idle if the dollars aren’t there. We need to hear from you, so a one-time gift or a monthly pledge will be greatly appreciated, and again, we’ll say thanks by sending you a copy of David’s book.

John: We’d love to hear from you, and our number is 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY. 800-232-6459 or you can donate at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast to receive your complimentary copy of The Ten Most Outrageous Couples of the Bible. Well coming up next time you’ll hear from Pastor Mark Batterson as he offers encouragement about prayer.

Teaser:

Mark Batterson: Listen, prayer is the difference between the best you can do and the best God can do. Prayer is the difference between letting things happen and making things happen. Prayer is the difference between you fighting for God and God fighting for you.

End of Teaser

Today's Guests

The Top 10 Most Outrageous Couples of the Bible

Receive a copy of David Clarke's book The Top 10 Most Outrageous Couples of the Bible with your donation of any amount! Plus, receive member-exclusive benefits when you make a recurring gift today. Your monthly support helps families thrive.

Recent Episodes

Focus on the Family Broadcast logo

Finding Space to Connect With God

Kathi Lipp and Cheri Gregory share ideas on how you can find the space and the place to spend time nurturing your relationship with God. They reflect on some of their imperfections and the abundant grace God offers to cover those shortcomings.

You May Also Like

Focus on the Family Broadcast logo

Affair-Proof Your Marriage (Part 1 of 2)

Pastor Dave Carder offers couples practical advice for protecting their marriages from adultery in a discussion based on his book Anatomy of an Affair: How Affairs, Attractions, and Addictions Develop, and How to Guard Your Marriage Against Them. (Part 1 of 2)

Focus on the Family Broadcast logo

Affair-Proof Your Marriage (Part 2 of 2)

Pastor Dave Carder offers couples practical advice for protecting their marriages from adultery in a discussion based on his book Anatomy of an Affair: How Affairs, Attractions, and Addictions Develop, and How to Guard Your Marriage Against Them. (Part 2 of 2)

Focus on the Family Broadcast logo

Balancing Gender Differences in Your Marriage (Part 1 of 2)

Robert and Pamela Crosby help married couples understand and celebrate their gender differences so that they can enjoy a stronger bond and deeper intimacy. Our guests offer practical tips for improved communication, successful conflict resolution and offering affirmation to your spouse. (Part 1 of 2)

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 1

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

How a Former Abortion Doctor Became Pro-Life

As an abortion doctor at Planned Parenthood, Dr. Patti Giebink believed she was helping women. Later, she began reading scripture and God gradually changed her heart on the abortion issue. Patti tells the story of her long journey from abortion doctor to pro-life and encourages listeners to share the message of life with compassion.

Headshot image of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Patti Giebink

Mrs. Patti Giebink

Dr. Patti Giebink is an OB-GYN who serves on the board of the Alpha Center, a well-known pregnancy center located in Sioux Falls, S.D. She also travels intermittently to work in mission hospitals in Pakistan and other countries. After completing her medical training, Dr. Giebink worked for Planned Parenthood from 1995-1997, during which she was the only abortion-provider in the state of South Dakota. She eventually experienced a radical change of heart on the issue of abortion after receiving God’s grace, forgiveness, and love, and she is now a passionate advocate for the pro-life movement.

Cover image of the book "Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life"

Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life

Unexpected Choice is told from the perspective of a doctor who actually performed abortions through Planned Parenthood. The book chronicles her journey from being a pro-choice physician to someone speaking on behalf of the pro-life movement.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 2

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

Cherishing Your Spouse Every Day

Do you love your spouse, or do you truly cherish them? Gary Thomas encourages couples to make a daily effort to go beyond the ‘duty’ of love, and combat the natural inclination to drift apart, by choosing to see the best in their spouse.

Mr. Gary Thomas

Gary Thomas is an international speaker and best-selling, award-winning author whose books include Married SexSacred Marriage and Sacred Parenting. He has also written numerous articles for several prominent national magazines. Gary and his wife, Lisa, reside in Texas and have three children. You can learn more about Gary by visiting his website, www.garythomas.com.

cherish front cover

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

“Most marriages survive by gritting teeth and holding on. But marriages can and will not only survive but thrive when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another.” Those are the powerful words of bestselling author Gary Thomas in his newest book–Cherish. And in a world desperate for marriage redemption, it is needed now more than ever. Thomas shows that although there are a countless number of marriages consisting of two people just going through the motions, there are real ways this pattern can be reversed: when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another in proven, loving, and everyday actions and words.

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 2: Heroes Providing Hope

Discover the amazing work our PRC’s Directors, Nurses, and Volunteers are making in their communities! You’ll see firsthand testimonies of a PRC in action, and that there are other options outside of abortions! You’ll also discover how your family can support your local PRC!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 4: Sometimes the Choice is Hard

Hear real life stories of parents who have made the decision to choose life even though the circumstances were overwhelming. You’ll see why “ALL” life is precious to God and why choosing life is always the right decision!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 3: The Power of a Picture

Have you ever wondered what a baby looked like in the womb? With today’s technology, Moms and Dads can see the baby’s heartbeat, facial expressions, and movements! You’ll find out why more women choose life once they hear their baby’s heartbeat and realize it’s a real living human!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 5: It’s Going to be Amazing!

After a couple has chosen life, hear the heartwarming stories of children that culture would have cast aside, yet are making tremendous impacts in their communities. Whether the diagnosis was adverse or the circumstances were difficult, these stories will inspire you to come along side of families who have chosen life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 6: Families Helping Families!

So, after all you’ve seen through the SeeLife ‘21 Episodic journey; what can you do now? We’ll share how you can partner with some amazing organizations that are making significant impacts in the pro-life movement! You want to Celebrate Life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 2

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Effective Habits to Embrace in Parenting

To be an effective parent, you must be a leader in your child’s life, guiding with a gentle hand and setting a solid example. Dr. Randy Schroeder provides the insight you need to be a leader-parent. As he explores the foundational Rs—relationship, routines, responsibilities, and rules—you’ll better understand the role you play in your child’s life. You’ll learn great phrases to employ such as “Either/Or/You Decide” and “When You/Then You”. While there is no perfect parent, this nuts-and-bolts material will equip you to lead your child in a loving, confident manner.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder has spent more than four decades writing, counseling, speaking, and teaching. For nearly 25 years, he was Vice President of Student Personnel Services, Dean of Students, and a professor of pastoral counseling at Concordia Theological Seminary in Fort Wayne, Ind. He’s also led a successful counseling practice helping individuals, couples, and families to thrive in their lives and relationships.

Cover image of Dr. Randall Schroeder's book "Simple Habits for Effective Parenting"

Simple Habits for Effective Parenting

Effective parenting is now within your grasp! With this inspiring how-to comprehensive book, achieve extraordinary results in raising a child to be self-assured, self-reliant, and responsible! You will be able to successfully lead and lovingly encourage your child toward a Godly life!

The Spiritual Battle for Your Marriage

God designed marriage to reflect His love to the world; and because of this, the enemy wants to destroy God’s beautiful design. Based on his book, Defending Your Marriage, Dr. Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff share about the reality of spiritual warfare against marriages, and how to combat the enemy’s lies with the truth of God. Couples will be encouraged that they’re not alone in the fight for a godly marriage and better equipped to be a shining example for the world around them.

Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff Cropped

Dr. Tim and Mrs. Noreen Muehlhoff

Dr. Tim Muehlhoff is a professor of communication at Biola University in La Mirada, California where he teaches classes in family communication, interpersonal communication, apologetics, gender, and conflict resolution.  Tim and his wife, Noreen, are both on staff with Biola’s Center for Marriage and Relationships  where he is a co-host of The Art of Relationship podcast. 

Defending Your Marriage

Is your marriage under attack? Sometimes it can feel like the world is trying to tear your marriage apart. Internal conflicts or external pressures might make you wonder if something sinister is going on. How can you tell if you’re facing spiritual opposition? And what can you do about it? Tim Muehlhoff provides a straightforward resource for protecting your marriage from the threats of the evil one. He looks at what Scripture says about spiritual warfare and how our everyday struggles have deeper spiritual realities. And he provides practical steps for guarding our marriages with the whole armor of God.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 1

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 2

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 2

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage - Part 2

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 2

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Embracing Your Role as a Spouse

As a spouse, you have three roles to play—a friend, a partner, and a lover. On this one-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Pastor Kevin A. Thompson explores those different roles and challenges you to live them out by investing emotionally, physically, and mentally in your relationship. As friends, he suggests we learn to play and laugh together. As partners, he equips us with solid ways to handle conflict and communication. As lovers, he offers some thoughts on how to bring back the sizzle. He shares five keys to saving your marriage: humility, respect, mercy, communication, and resilience. You’ll be encouraged to intentionally invest in your marriage.

Headshot of Kevin Thompson

Pastor Kevin Thompson

Kevin A. Thompson (MDiv, Beeson Divinity School) is lead pastor at Community Bible Church, a growing multi-site church with four locations in western Arkansas. Every year he meets with nearly one hundred couples with a range of needs, from pre-marital counseling to navigating the most serious betrayals. A marriage and parenting conference speaker, he and his wife, Jenny, have two children and live in Fort Smith, Arkansas. He blogs at kevinathompson.com.

Cover image of Kevin Thompson's book "Friends, Partners & Lovers"

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

With engaging stories and clear, simple language, pastor Kevin Thompson shows how to live out three distinct roles in marraige. Using solid biblical principles, he helps you and your spouse grow your friendship, be supportive partners through the good times and the bad, and develop a healthy and satisfying sex life.

Sharing Your Faith with Grace and Purpose

You can confidently and lovingly share your faith—you just need to learn some new tactics to do so! In this Focus on the Family Daily Broadcast, apologist Greg Koukl outlines the “Columbo” tactic of asking questions, the “self-defeating argument” tactic to find holes in your opponent’s arguments, and other specific methods for engaging in faith-building conversations with others. Greg pulls from his over 30 years of experience debating atheists and agnostics to help you share your faith with grace and truth.

Mr. Greg Koukl

Greg Koukl is a writer, public speaker and talk show host who’s spent 30 years advocating for and defending the Christian worldview. Greg has written or contributed to 15 books, including The Story of RealityTactics, and Precious Unborn Human Persons. Greg has published nearly 230 articles and has spoken on 80 college and university campuses in the U.S. and abroad.

Tactics front cover

Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition: A Game Plan for Discussing Your Christian Convictions

In a world increasingly indifferent to Christian truth, followers of Christ need to be equipped to communicate with those who do not speak their language or accept their source of authority. In Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition, Gregory Koukl demonstrates how to artfully regain control of conversations, keeping them moving forward in constructive ways through thoughtful diplomacy. You’ll learn how to stop challengers in their tracks and how to turn the tables on questions or provocative statements. Most important, you’ll learn how to get people thinking about Jesus.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 1

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Giving up Sugar, Tasting God's Goodness

As a latchkey kid, Wendy Speake turned to sugar for comfort. Every Friday, she would pedal to the candy show and use her allowance to fill her bag with candy. And one day, when she was older and a mom of three young boys, she came to realize that she was still “pedaling” away from her stress and using sugar as comfort, instead of turning to Jesus. She was joyless, worn out, tired, and in need of a change. In this interview, Wendy will challenge Christians to take 40 days to focus on fasting from something they turn to instead of Jesus for comfort. She invited people to break free from a dependence on sugar and taste the goodness of God.

Author Wendy Speake smiling as she holds up her book "The 40-Day Social Media Fast"

Mrs. Wendy Speake

With a background in Hollywood as a trained actress, Wendy Speake ministers to women as a bible teacher by applying the power of drama, poetry and comedy to the study of Scripture and real-life application of biblical truths. She has co-authored two books with Amber Lia titled Triggers: Exchanging Parents’ Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses and their latest, Parenting Scripts: When What You’re Saying Isn’t Working, Say Something New. Wendy is also the co-author (with Kelli Stuart) of Life Creative: Inspiration for Today’s Renaissance Mom.

Cover image of the book "The 40-Day Sugar Fast"

The 40-Day Sugar Fast: Where Physical Detox Meets Spiritual Transformation

Welcome to the 40-Day Sugar Fast, a fast that begins with us giving Jesus our sugar and ends with Jesus giving us himself–the only thing that can ever truly satisfy our soul’s deep hunger. On this 40-day journey you’ll learn how to stop fixating on food and other things you use to fill the voids in life and instead fix your eyes on Christ. Anyone who runs to sugar for comfort or a reward, who eats mindlessly or out of boredom, who feels physically and spiritually lethargic, or who struggles with self-control will discover here not only freedom from their cravings but an entirely new appetite for the good things God has for us.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 2

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 2

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

Reconciling Faith and Science in a Medical Crisis

Dr. Lee Warren is a neurosurgeon who has faced many heavy challenges in his life – from serving in the Iraq War to removing deadly brain tumors to experiencing the loss of a teenage son. He’ll share about his difficult quest to find answers to some of life’s toughest questions, while holding onto his faith in God and the sure hope of heaven

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. W. Lee Warren

Dr. Lee Warren

W. Lee Warren, M.D., is a brain surgeon , inventor, Iraq War veteran, and author of I’ve Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon’s Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know, winner of the Christian Book Award®. His previous book, No Place to Hide, was included on the 2015 U.S. Air Force Chief of Staff’s Recommended Reading List. Dr. Warren has appeared on The 700 Club and the CBS Evening News, and his writings have been featured in Guideposts magazine. His Dr. Lee Warren Podcast, which is heard in more than 60 countries, helps listeners use the power of neuroscience, faith, and common sense to change their lives.

Cover image of Dr. Lee Warren's book "I've Seen the End of You"

I've Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon's Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know

This gripping inspirational memoir grapples with the tension between faith and science—and between death and hope—as a seasoned neurosurgeon faces insurmountable odds and grief both in the office and at home.

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 1

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 1

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage Part 1

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 1

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 1

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 1: The Truth About Life!

In this episode, we will tackle tough questions like, “When does life begin?” and “What does the Bible
say about Life?” You’ll discover and understand the stages of pre-born life and that babies are more than
just a clump of cells!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!